I’ll make you mine

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Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Dec 19, 2020 8:51 pm

He lifted his eyes to look at Gerard as he blurted out the words that he had professed earlier. The vampyre blinked once before he took a sip of his glass and sat in quiet contemplation, his eyes moving down to the glass in his hand as he slowly spun it between his fingers. “Yes. I am in love with you,” he confirmed, looking at Gerard with serious eyes. He put down his glass. “In all honesty. I did initially have the expecation that we wouldnt even have come this far. But we did. And now I’m at a bit of a loss,” he said, moving his hand over to grab Gerard’s. “I wish that I could show you things from my perspective,” he explained, giving the nephilim’s hand a soft squeeze. “I want to make you happy. Make you feel wanted and needed,” he said as he lifted his hand to give it a kiss on the backside. “Stay the night,” he almost begged.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Dec 19, 2020 9:15 pm

Gerard listened, at least to the best of his abilities with all the sobbing. He felt like this was so surreal, so when Eden confessed he hadn't thought it would go this far he nodded. Of course he had always felt the attraction, but actually developing some feelings for the vampyre was absurd if you asked him a few months ago. "You do make me feel all of those things," he said in a soft whimper, having gotten his sobbing mostly under control. He didn't know if he could ever return those words of loving nature, but he hoped it would come with time and the growth in his confidence. How could you really love someone else if you didn't love yourself? His free hand removed the tears, looking at Eden as he kissed his other hand, it felt like such a good environment. Xalvador had been wrong, and there was a great amount of relief in that.
The beg made him hiccup a small yes, nodding just to be sure that he was agreeing to this. "I should eat this, huh?" he mumbled, cracking a small smile, feeling his cheeks warm from all the sobbing. He was just a kid with a lot of emotions and unsolved trauma, so finally being able to get some of those feelings out was nice. It gave a relieving feeling, like his chest wasn't as tight anymore. He kept holding Eden's hand, his free hand grabbing a fork to dig in to the meal. Gerard was still not too much of a fan of food, perhaps because it felt like every meal this good could potentially be his last.
After the simple dinner, he got up from his seat, washing off his plate and utensils before placing them in the dishwasher. He knew that Eden had people to clean up after him, but he didn't like leaving his mess around. "It was very good," he finally said, clearly having gotten more control over his voice, but there was still a faint tremble to his breathing. "Thank you."

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Dec 19, 2020 9:39 pm

Eden wasnt sure if he came off as desperate. Maybe a part of him was. Because he really wanted to show the nephilim that he cared. Laure wasnt here now, what could she do about something she didnt even know of? No Eden wasnt even thinking of her in this moment and just fully focused on Gerard. “Yeah,” he said with a nod. He let him eat in peace, sipping off his glass of wine and blood, just watching him quietly.
It was nice that they still held hands, though Eden did say that he wouldnt mind if the nephilim needed both his hands. It however didnt seem to be that big of a problem for the nephilim to only use one hand. Eden had finished his glass by then too, placing it next to the sink as he couldnt tell how many times the cooks had reprimanded him for placing it in the dishwasher when that just ruined the glass. “I’m glad you liked it,” he said in a sincere tone, chuckling and shaking his head at the thanks. He wasnt that good with compliments himself, just as long as the nephilim liked it. “We’ve got the whole house for ourselves,” he admitted, pulling out his pack of cigarettes as he signaled that he needed to go for a smoke. The nephilim could come along if he wanted to but Eden didnt mind if he didnt.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Dec 19, 2020 9:52 pm

The nephilim had noticed how quiet the whole place was, but he hadn't really thought about the house being empty until Eden said it. He felt his heart beat a little faster at that notion, nodding as he went with the vampyre out on the balcony. It was such a different weather than how it had been in Spain, but at least it wasn't raining, although some dark clouds were forming above. Outside he stood and was quiet for a bit until he felt like he needed to get something off his chest. "I-I have to come clean about something, or maybe rather ... Clear something up," he said, looking discreetly at Eden. "You know I said I hadn't been with someone before, right?" he said, feeling a bit nervous to even talk about it, but he just didn't want to let Eden think he was just some inexperienced kid. "Well, I have been with a few girls ... No guys," he said. He felt a bit fraudulent. Had he lied or simply withheld the truth? And was Eden going to think lesser of him now?

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Dec 19, 2020 10:05 pm

He stood there and smoked, looking out on the city with the same calm gaze he always seemed to have when he wasnt looking directly at the nephilim. Like everything around him seemed to be a bore to him or at least not interesting enough for him to pull an expression. But there was something about the way his eyes changed when he looked at Gerard. And he could feel that tension a mile away. He looked at Gerard, smoking his cigarette in peace. The notion that he had to come clean with something made Eden narrow his eyes slightly in a curious manner but he let him speak. He mumbled a faint yeah to the question but wasnt sure where it was that Gerard was getting with this. Then he confessed and Eden looked at him and switched between his eyes. Was he expecting anger or some sort of negative reaction? Eden chuckled and raised his cigarette to Gerard’s mouth, letting him get a drag if he wanted. “Dont look at me like you’re expecting me to yell at you. I’m not angry,” he said with a small scoff, because frankly he would have been far more surprised if it really had turned out to be true. For a man to reach 18 without any sort of experience? Unlikely. “What have you tried then? And did you like it?” He asked, tilting his head a little curiosly to the side.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Dec 19, 2020 10:20 pm

Frankly he was unsure of what to expect, but he knew he had to say it. Taking a drag from the cigarette, it seemed to calm his nerves a bit, pushing the smoke down in to his lungs and holding it there for a while before finally pushing the smoke out in to the air. He shrugged a little at the notion he wasn't angry, because part of him had thought that it would ruin some illusion. But then some questions came that made Gerard red in the face, looking away as if he couldn't even think about it and be expected to look at Eden at the same time. He thought about it for a while, not really sure what to reply at first. "I guess I ... Gods ... I like to be in charge," he admitted, his cheeks burning bright red as his eyes flickered thinking about all of this. It was hard to open up just like this and out of the blue, but it was his own fault for bringing it up. He swallowed as he looked down. "B-but only if the other person, you know, likes what I'm doing - I just ... I guess I'm much more of a pleaser," he said, stumbling over a few words that just made him feel more nervous.
"I like kissing a lot, it feels good, and ... And I really like, uhm, when my hair gets tucked at," he mumbled. He felt embarrassed, but what guy his age wouldn't feel a bit embarrassed by saying this stuff out loud. He really was just a teenager, but it was clear that he was looking for something tender, something real in a partner. "I, merde, I like going down on a partner," he whispered, shaking a little as he grabbed on to the railing before shaking his head a little. He was clearly feeling a little out of it still, and didn't really know what else to say. But wasn't it obvious that he liked being touched? He liked it when he was held close, enjoyed every second of being wrapped up in another person in something so simple as a hug or sleeping. "I like to feel everything."

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Dec 19, 2020 10:40 pm

The way he seemed to just clam up and get all shy made a smile spread on Eden’s lips. He listened to him and sort of understood the notion of just wanting to please the other. Eden was very much like that, at least if he was with someone that he respected and/or cared about. With strangers he didnt care as much, treating them more like the means to soothe his own needs. “Mnnnh, hair tucking,” he quietly noted to himself, sending the nephilim a teasing smile. He was actually a little proud that Gerard was stepping out of his comfort zone like that. When they first had started kissing, it was like that was all he could muster, but this showed that he was getting comfortable. “I’m the same. I like going down on the one I love, but there’s also something extremely gratifying in watching them go down on me,” he said rather casually, trying to keep it not that vulgar as Gerard had said how he didnt like that.
“We dont have to do anything that you’re not comfortable with doing. I still means those words,” he said as he finished up his cigarette and gestured for Gerard to head inside, mumbling something with the cold. He took the liberty of wrapping his arms around the nephilim from behind and hold him close, sort of like a lover would. “I’m fine with just kissing you if that’s what you like,” he clarified in a softer tone, burying his nose into his hair. He was a little bummed that he was smelling soap over how beautiful his natural scent just was. Maybe it was the seraphim blood or something else.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Dec 19, 2020 10:56 pm

Gods, his cheeks were burning from the words he was saying, but part of him also did want to open up and talk about it. It would make things a lot easier if they did decide to go further. The fact that Eden could talk so casually about his own likes didn't make things easier on him. The nephilim liked things to be sweet, he didn't like being vulgar because it felt like it would take away from the experience of getting close to another person. Moving inside, he noticed how cold he had gotten, but he had taken notice of his words. Things would change, and he was happy about that, however talking about all of this made him wonder what Eden was like in such an intimate situation. He was so gentle and sweet with the kisses and affectionate touches, but he knew that things could change once a moment got heated.
He got pulled closer to Eden, feeling his whole back pressed against his front, blushing more - if that was even possible at this point - as he listened to the sweet words. He nodded, but part of him wanted to tell the vampyre what he had been thinking about since they had gotten back. "I wouldn't mind trying more," he said in a timid voice, not to say that they could just jump in to everything, but there was no reason for them to think that things would only stay at the kissing point. "As long as we take it slow" he added in a soft sigh as the feeling of Eden's breath against his scalp was something he had come to like a lot. It felt just as good as a hug at times, perhaps because it had the same close feeling.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Dec 19, 2020 11:45 pm

He held him close, not thinking much of how close they were despite the conversation. He afterall seemed to have accepted that Gerard just liked it when they kissed, though he had felt the nephilim tug even lightly at his clothes while they had a pretty intimate make out session one night in spain. “Oh,” he whispered in pleasant surprise at the nephilim’s words. He couldnt hide the fact that it was definitely waking something in him. “It can be slow. I’m not in a rush with you,” he mumbled against the thick curls, biting his lower lip carefully as he closed his eyes and silently reminded himself to calm down. This wasnt exactly the moment for it, at least that was what Eden thought. “Can we make out before I lose my mind?” He whispered a little eagerly, scoffing at himself as he found it a little silly how his urges were getting to him. But then again, the time he had spent with Laure hadnt exactly met his needs the way it had been intended to.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Dec 19, 2020 11:55 pm

Gerard could barely do anything but chuckle at the question, turning around in his arms as he moved his hands up to cup his face. "Oui," he simply replied before connecting their lips. His eyes fell shut, taking in the feeling of the cold lips against his own warm. It was a feeling he had come to enjoy a little too much, even if it sometimes made him shiver a bit, he only saw it as a good sign. His lips moved against Eden's, a little eager, but still keeping it rather tender. He felt a little lightheaded, breaking the kiss and placing his forehead against the other man's, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. "Sorry, I guess I forgot to breathe," he chuckled a little apologetically, but he had been so eager that he had simply forgotten that his lungs did need oxygen to let him survive. Placing a few more kisses against his lips he smiled, still trying to catch up to his breath, but also his beating heart.
"Can we, perhaps, sit down?" he mumbled against his lips, nuzzling his nose against his, smiling a bit to himself. If Eden agreed he would move backwards until he felt a couch behind him, sitting down, but instead of the vampyre just sitting down next to him, he pulled at him lightly to sit down on his lap. It was clear he was feeling a mixture of bravery and nervousness, but he wanted to feel what it was like to be just a little bit closer. His lips moved down along the cold neck, sighing in delight. He was surprised at the fact that Eden barely weighed anything sitting on top of him, but he could still feel him right there. Perhaps it was the fact that he was cold, so there wouldn't really be any feeling of warmth hitting him. "Tell me what you want," he whispered against the part of his chest that was not hidden by his shirt.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sun Dec 20, 2020 12:55 am

He looked down on him with a soft smile as he agreed, leaning into the kiss as his arms held him. He still remembered not to hold him too tight, but the kissing was definitely bringing out something in him. His lips were quite eager like the rest of him, like he had been completely touch-deprived since their time in Spain. He did like how warm Gerard was, even if he himself was pretty cold. Maybe it was just the difference that he liked so much. The kiss broke and Eden made a deep sigh, chuckling a little at his words. Eden may have been breathing but he didnt really need it. It was more to not seem completely still that he did it. A few more kisses were exchanged before the mumble made the vampyre smile. “Of course.” He whispered before he led him to the nearby couch. He had expected to just be sitting down next to him but as he pulled for him to sit on his lap, Eden looked at him with a bit of surprise in his eyes. He felt his warmth a little closer now in a different way that he liked quite a lot. The kisses made him groan lightly, the nephilim could probably feel the vibrations through his neck that he had stretched for him. The whisper made him hum, looking up at the ceiling before he looked down at him. He placed a hand on his face, running a thumb over his lower lip. “I’d rather not say,” he admitted in a lowered tone, something seductive in his tone. He leaned down and connected their lips again, used his chest to make the nephilim lean back as their bodies were pressed together close. Feeling Gerard’s heartbeat through his chest and how it was beating faster everytime Eden seemed to do something he liked was driving the vampyre mad. He ran his hand up into the curls, grabbing a soft hold as his lips almost devoured the seraph’s, though he’d let him breathe when he needed.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sun Dec 20, 2020 1:10 am

It felt like losing his mind, not all the way, but just enough to not think so much, and just feel. It was very unlike him, but he also liked it a lot, feeling the vibrations against his lips made him smile. He hadn't expected getting pushed back like this, but feeling how close Eden was made him happy. It wasn't until his hair got tugged at that he moaned softly in to the vampyre's mouth. His arms moved to grab his hips, pressing him even closer than he already was, his heart beating out of control. Not only that, but he could feel his body react, making a hard bulge appear in his trousers. He became aware of it, breaking the kiss a little flustered, his breath hitching as he wasn't quite sure what to do about it all. He knew they didn't have to take it further, but in the moment he wanted to. He wanted to feel that love that Eden had spoken about, he wanted to see if it was real.
"I ... I want you to take your shirt off," he mumbled, flustered of course, but he was trying to also be confident in what he said. He had missed the feeling of Eden's bare skin against his own, how it had cooled him down on those warm Spain nights. "... If it wouldn't be too much trouble," he added as he noticed how demanding he had sounded. It wasn't what he was trying to accomplish, rather he had just missed him. Missed feeling all of him, or at least as much as their skin flesh together.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sun Dec 20, 2020 1:37 am

The moan was more than welcomed, in fact it made Eden wonder if another pull at his hair like that would cause a similar reaction. Eden was aboe to contain himself easily though he did like what was happening. It just wasnt driving him over the edge with need, but there just was something about Gerard’s warmth, smell and being in the moment that was tearing up the seams. Eden was by all means a rather professional man, always calm and collected. But there was something different underneath the surface, a need and a longing for something. But it was only his sister that could truly drive him on edge and make him do things that tore away at the image he had build around himself. Gerard’s mumble made the vampyre smile, looking at him with gleaming eyes. “You first,” he said in a teasing yet demanding tone, letting go of his hair to undo a few buttons. He could feel the bulge which he was certain wasnt the first time after a few of their moments in Spain. It really wasnt that surprising to know that the nephilim was turned on by what they did. “You can do whatever you want to me.... Or tell me if you want me to do something,” he assured him, undoing the last few buttons before he casually let the shirt slide off his shoulders to expose his upper body. Eden wasnt often submissive, he liked the control and having the upperhand. But it was safe to say, he was too touch deprived to care about it now.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sun Dec 20, 2020 1:34 pm

His demands made him smile, his hands moving from Eden's thighs to his shirt, unbuttoning it with a bit shaky hands. He had a bit of trouble getting it over his head, but with the vampyre's help it would go swimmingly. He nodded at the assurance, but simply moved his hands up to cup the other man's, pulling him down in a much more passionate kiss than he had tried before. It was clear he was going out of his comfort zone, but he also made sure to take it at his own pace. He liked Eden, he wanted to feel what it would be like to be with him, and even if he didn't go all the way, that would be okay. He just wanted to try something different. He groaned softly against the cold lips, feeling that his pants were tight around his bulge, but he was way too nervous to say anything about it. "Please ... Just tell me what you are thinking of," he pleaded in a raspy whisper, his eyes still closed as his hands moved down along his body, feeling the coldness of the vampyre and strangely enough not finding it repulsive. Gerard liked warm things, like blankets and duvets, but when it came to Eden it was like it didn't matter. His body was generating enough heat as it was. "I want to hear it," he said, opening his eyes halfway to look at the blue green eyes he cared for so much. His hands grabbed around his hips, not to hold him in place, but rather press him closer as if his body couldn't help itself. He was panting slowly, his voice a little shaky, but it was clear he was enjoying this intimacy.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Thu Jan 14, 2021 6:18 pm

The plea was so soft, he could almost taste the sweet anguish on his lips. He just kept kissing him, feeling some sort of need to devour him, but not in the primal sense that came from being a vampyre. It was something else, a longing that couldnt find solace or resolve. He hummed at the words that Gerard wanted to know. A gentle smile fell over his lips like a sort clearing in the clouds, before he grit his teeth as the other man pulled him closer. “My mind keeps wondering, if we took this further, would it be you over me, or me over you?” He finally revealed in a gentle, low tone, playing with his own vocal chords though he couldnt hide how intriguing the thought was to him. “Frankly I’ve always been one for the latter, but somehow with you, I wouldnt mind either,” he admitted, carefully rolling his hips to feel the fabric between them. “I just know I’m madly and deeply in love with you,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss Gerard’s neck in gentle careful kisses, like he worried that a harder press of his lips would break the nephilim’s skin.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sat Jan 16, 2021 2:54 pm

Hearing those thoughts made Gerard blush wildly, mostly because he wasn't sure what to reply. He felt a bit scared, not that he was afraid of Eden, but more unsure about the unknown. He had never tried anything like that with another man, and while he found the thought appealing, he also felt scared. Scared to move too fast. That he would come to regret it if it turned out that Eden would not be true to his words about love. Maybe he was just being biased. He had heard that you couldn't trust vampyres. That they had a way of convincing you to do things you never thought you would be able to do. And yet, Gerard felt like himself still. He didn't feel influenced to do anything, in fact he had some thoughts himself.
He gritted his teeth, groaning in sweet agony as the vampyre rolled his hips towards his own, feeling his head spinning with the sweet declaration of love. The cold lips against his warm neck made him hum. "I feel like you'd be in charge" he admitted, but he was still flustered just thinking about it. "A-and we w-would t-take turns," he stuttered in a sweet shudder as he felt Eden against him. His skin flesh against his own just did something to him. "B-being o-o-over each o-other."

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sun Jan 17, 2021 4:59 am

Gerard was in all right to be vary of Eden because he really wasnt that great of a guy. If anything he was in fact what everyone warned mortals about when it came to vampyres. It was only that he had taken an obscure liking to the nephilim that he couldnt explain; an obsession that he couldnt let go of. He wanted him and he wanted him whole and fully. “Oh you speak the sweetest words right now,” he whispered longingly, a smile spreading from ear to ear before he resumed on leaving love kisses on his neck. The stuttering only made Eden long for him more, because he could tell how hard the nephilim was trying. “That’s what you feel like. But is it what you want?” He asked more seriously, but not in the sense to ruin the mood, leaning back to look at Gerard, while still keeping close enough to feel his warm skin against his own cold. It was if anything odd how fixtated Eden seemed to be on making sure Gerard was okay with everything that went on. He never seemed to bear that worry for anyone else. “Please stay over tonight,” he mumbled sweetly in yearning, leaning down to connect their lips again.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sun Jan 17, 2021 2:28 pm

Gods he felt like a mess, sitting here with him in his lap, feeling his skin flesh against his own. His breath hiccupped a bit, the feeling of his heart beating so loudly in his chest made him feel lightheaded. It also didn't help that Eden smelled so intoxicating. His jaw was tensing as he looked up at the ceiling, feeling Eden attack his neck with loving kisses, and he felt completely in bliss. The question brought him back to reality, his face burning bright red. He knew he didn't have to feel this flustered, but his body just couldn't help reacting like this. "I'm not sure what I want," he confessed, panting softly as he felt out of breath.
The plea was so genuine, at least that was how it sounded in Gerard's ears, sighing to himself as he caught Eden's lips with his own, moving his hands up and pressing him closer. Gasping for air against his lips he leaned back, closing his eyes as he was shaking a little with excitement. "I'll stay," he whispered softly, his hands even shaking as they moved around his chest. It was clear he was overwhelmed by how his body was reacting.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Mon Jan 18, 2021 4:03 am

He hummed at the reply, while his eyes were looking around his face, taking in every beautiful feature. How his cheeks were blushing, his eyes so soft and yet he could sense the conflict in him. But Eden wasnt a busy man, he liked to take his time. And right now, the pleasure of friction between them with Gerard’s sweet lips as the cherry on top was almost magical.
“Thank you,” he replied in a thankful tone, looking at him for a bit. He looked down, feeling how both of their bodies seemed to react. “Do you trust me?” He asked, lifting his hands to cup the nephilim’s face between his hands. He ran his thumbs gently over his cheekbones, feeling the soft tissue and the muscles, but not pressing too hard.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Mon Jan 18, 2021 10:43 am

Gerard probably looked like a lost puppy at this point. He was unsure of how to react, because part of him felt like running away and another part felt like just staying. It was as if his pledge to stay was his own body betraying him, but did he want to stay? It was hard for him to put words to it, especially seeing as he was clearly on edge about the whole friction and kissing. It felt good, so it wasn't wrong, right? Swallowing his eyes followed Eden's and after a quick glance he looked away. He was terrible at this. He was too nervous to say or do anything, and he was frustrated with his own body. The self-doubt always crept in to his mind at times like these.
His mind spiraling as all he could think of was how unappealing he must've been. Skinny and with little to no muscle. He felt like he looked like a kid still, and his mind couldn't wrap itself around the fact that Eden was aroused as well. It couldn't be. He felt a cold feeling run down his spine as the vampyre pulled him out of his thoughts, looking at him with a mixture of confused and hurt eyes. Trust him? Gerard trusted very few, he was always on edge; The only one he felt like he could always rely on was Xalvador, but saying that out loud might ruin the mood. And he didn't want to disappoint him. "I don't know what to trust ... My body seems to not even trust itself right now," he whispered, feeling the cold thumb over his lower lip that made him tremble. He closed his eyes and sighed, he was clearly conflicted. Everything he had learned from Xalvador was that vampyres couldn't be trusted, and yet here he was with the most caring vampyre in the world. The person that had gotten him out of starvation, of selling his body, and he still felt the doubt? He must've seemed like an ungrateful brat to Eden. "I guess I'm just scared, that's all, I'm sorry," he mumbled, pressing his eyes harder together as to not start crying. Why was he always such a crybaby?

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Tue Jan 19, 2021 10:16 am

The answer wasnt really what he had hoped for, but it’s not like he was angry or hurt about the honesty. In his mind he believed that at some point it would turn. Eventually Gerard would trust him, surely. It was the only thing that made sense in Eden’s head. He noticed how the mood was changing and it only felt bitter because he was certain he had instigated it. “Why are you apologizing for how you feel?” He asked, looking around his face as his hands gently touched his skin with his fingers. “Come here,” he whispered, letting go of his face to wrap his arms around the nephilim and press him close into his embrace. It wasnt warm but at least it wasnt icecold, just rather the temperature of the room except for his chest that had stolen a brief moment of Gerard’s heat from being pressed together. “It’s okay,” he assured him, kissing his hair gently, his voice and demeanor changing drastically like he embraced the role of comforter. Because he did. How many times had his sister not sought that comfort when things werent going after her head? Eden was a seasoned comforter at this point. “Do you want to stop?” He asked, not that he himself wanted to but there was no point if Gerard didnt want it.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Wed Jan 20, 2021 10:19 am

Gerard felt like such a wuss. All he wanted was intimacy, but it seemed like he was even scared of that, even though it felt so good to have Eden this close. A wandering thought in his mind kept saying that this was like a band-aid, that he just had to rip it off, but deep down he knew he couldn't force this. He liked Eden, but for Gerard to trust someone was a great thing to ask. He had been alone all his life, the only support was his brother, but now with Eden in the picture, it felt like even that was slipping away. The loneliness was surrounding him, and yet here he sat with someone he genuinely liked.
Eden pulled him close, and it was as if he forced his floodgates open as he started sobbing in to the other man's chest. He was shaking a little, feeling so overwhelmed by these emotions that had been building up. How afraid he had been when Eden hadn't replied for weeks, how sad and alone it had made him really feel. How much he had missed being with the vampyre, and now that he was with him it just felt like too much. Gerard moved his arms up his back, wrapping his arms around him and hugging himself closer. He felt like he was about to float off the couch, he needed something to ground him, and Eden was the only one available right now.
As his sobbing died down to a light sniffle he kept on hiding his face. He was so embarrassed, because it seemed like he could never truly man up. Hadn't the orphanage taught him better than this? Hold in your emotions, boys aren't supposed to cry, his mind kept ringing of the adults from that dreadful place. How will you ever amount to anything if all you do is cry? He gulped, because he hadn't amounted to anything. He was a leech, wasn't he? Living off of what Eden could provide and not striving for more. Sure, he had his photography, but would that ever go somewhere? In this spiral of self-doubt he just fell silent, his eyes moving beneath his closed lids, but his breathing was clearly irregular like he hadn't calmed down yet.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sun Feb 14, 2021 4:01 am

Eden was a caretaker in many ways from the times he had had to soothe his sister’s frustrations and outbursts, so it wasnt like he lacked the basic knowledge to handle the situation. But every person was so differet and Gerard seemed unlike so many. It was almost as if Eden wasnt really sure what to do. So he just held him close as the nephilim cried into his chest, cooing him carefully as to not worsen the whole situation. The crying died down but Eden could tell that it wasnt over yet. “Open your eyes and look at me,” he said after a bit, carefully placing a hand on his face to lift it and that way sort of confront him, not aggressively but gently, kindly. If he did as he said, Eden would look at him with soft eyes but if he didnt it wasnt that big of a change. “What’s on your mind. Talk to me so we can talk this out. At least give me a chance to lighten the burden on your shoulders,” he almost begged, caressing his cheek as if the skin was delicate.

Subject: Re: I’ll make you mine Sun Feb 14, 2021 11:53 am

He opened his eyes rather reluctantly, looking at the gentle eyes that met him. Eden was both a source of comfort and a source of worry for Gerard. Taking a deep breath he rubbed his eyes a bit, feeling them irritated and probably looking rather red from crying. "Just a lot of stuff," he mumbled, touching Eden's chest as mostly to distract his hands. Closing his eyes he took another deep breath before opening to look at the vampyre once again. What had the nephilim done to deserve him? "I'm afraid that I've ruined everything now ... And I don't feel like I deserve being here with you," he said, looking rather timidly at the vampyre that was still on top of him.
His body was confused, his mind a mess and yet he didn't want to go. He wanted to stay with Eden, he wanted to feel that love he had spoken about, but he was scared. Scared that it would change everything. "What if ... A lot of what ifs," he sighed, his fingers tracing along his bare chest. "I've never felt this way before - And I really don't want to ruin it."