Searching for a Spark of Creativity

Outfit

All this free time was something he could do without, making him feel like he was lacking a purpose, something that had been his whole drive the last year. Now that he had time to think about more than his duties the selfish thoughts started creeping in, self indulgences that his mentor would beat him for, or one of them anyway, was the other one even a mentor? Nah, he could never look up to someone like that. Out of the all the self indulgences he craved, smoking was the one he probably cared the least about having, though he would never do it in or around the temple, out of respect and how it would present him as a clergy. But out in the city no one would take notice of it, even if someone did he would welcome anything to change up the days, even if it was criticism, more fuel for that self discipline later.  

He noticed someone coming out of the café making some noise to his side but ignored it as quick as he noticed it and returned to his thoughts, taking a slow drag and held it for a bit before exhaling it through his nose, his breathing was very calm, almost like his body was sleeping. His relaxed state didn't last though as he heard her coming up to him, he took a deep breath and exhaled waiting for the inevitable conversation about to arrive. Watching the people go by half attentively when the question came to him from the person to his right as he expected it would. He takes the cigarette from his lips and purposely blows out the smoke in front of him before turning his head towards her, looking her up and down. "You look.. tense." Then shoves his right hand in his coat pocket and fishes out his lighter, flicks it on and holds it up to her smoke, seeing it light up before putting it back and leans against the wall looking back at the people passing by."Coffee doesn't really seem like the ideal thing for stress" While putting the smoke back up to his lips inhaling he had noticed something was off about her but wasn't interested enough to focus on it, instead calmly observing the auras of the passersby going back to his thoughts.

Unbelievable, actually missing his time in Paesan, this was exactly why he needed to stay busy enough to focus purely on the duties he was taught. One thing was to bring the bad habits with him, but to envy those times to now was almost heresy. Luckily, or unluckily his remark had started an actual conversation, something he was trying to avoid in the first place, curse that autopilot he had running in his head. Then proceeded to go back into autopilot mode right after. He was a really good listener, something that came with the life he had, which gave him the ability to hear what people said while also focusing on his own thoughts, processing what they said when he needed it later. As she spoke though he wasn’t done with the thought from earlier, why did he miss those days? He let out a big exhale of smoke from his mouth as he pondered on it. He brought the vices with him so couldn’t be that, the guy he had a deal with used him for his own game so couldn’t be him and there was absolutely no way he preferred their company to his fellow clergy, so what was it?
Realising it would take a while to actually get anywhere with that thought he stopped thinking about it, having more focus on the auras walking by again, a calming environment for the most part, depending on where he was, almost like counting sheep to fall asleep. In this calm state it would probably sound and look like he didn’t pay attention, which was partially true but for the most part he was, the smoke helping him relax where counting sheep didn’t.

Before she even finished her question he already knew what he had to do. “Give yourself to the gods of course.. offer your services and let them control your fate and they will guide you on a good life without.. tribulations” he was grinning slightly on the inside, knowing full well someone like her couldn’t care less about gods and maybe even spirituality itself. He was still looking ahead, his eyes darting between people automatically as he continues. “Honestly I was going to suggest smoking but you shot that down pretty quickly..so I have to say.. I’m at a loss” he had his own methods for getting rid of stress and regaining control and a calm mind but some of them were clergy things and one thing was just between him and his creator. Then again there was one thing, but it didn’t really seem like it would something she would consider. “There’s always.. meditation, maybe a clear mind can help with your deadline problem..” from the little time he had been with her he didn’t get the impression she had the patience for that, which is why he had to poke her for a reaction. “If you can muster the patience for that..” he was used to similar conversations at the temple where people came for help and guidance having faith and respect for the gods. And the reason he was not really invested or helping as he should have was probably because she didn’t ask for it, probably had zero faith or respect for the gods and the only reason for them talking in the first place was because he was the only one close by with a light. Not that he held any of that against her as he respected everyone, well most people equally, just didn’t preach where it wouldn’t reach. And he was not in his normal headspace, hadn’t been for a while.

The second he heard her say she had been smoking for 50 years his blurred out of focus vision became as sharp as a predator eyeing its prey. Had he misjudged what she was? There was no way someone with her looks was at that age, not without there being strings attached. It’s not like he paid close attention when he looked at her earlier. He looked slightly to his right at a crowed further down the street, catching her in the corner of his eye. Yeah there was no doubt about it, she was human. He guessed the odd feeling he noticed about her was a bigger deal than initially thought. She had peeked his interest to discover something he had not seen before.
As she mentioned spending her time with purpose and little waste he couldn’t help but to chuckle lightly to himself. “As I’m sure you are” glancing over at her face with a smirk. Meditation had always gotten a bad rep for people who never tried it with a proper teacher, or people with little connection to their spirituality. And talking to a person set in their ways would only waste both of their time, he had no connections to her and felt no obligation to help or change anything for her, not that she even asked for it.
The fashion world was a very cutthroat business as he was very aware of, big money, plenty of people’s creativity to exploit, so it made sense she was stressed about her job. One thing he had noticed was a common thing when speaking to people using their creativity for a successful business was that they often forgot why they even started it. Blowing out the smoke he had inhaled a second ago before looking her in the eyes with his full attention for the first time. “Sometimes we get so far ahead we can’t look back and see where we even began” he shifted his gaze between her eyes, looking through the windows to her soul before looking at the people ahead, more specifically their walking pattern. “Taking a few steps back to find a new path forward is not the end of the journey” realising he was talking very much like a preacher and assuming she was the kind of person to prefer straight answers he changed up his tone a bit. “Why did you start doing what you do? Find that answer and go back to it, don’t let your new surroundings change the original passion, it’s what got you this far in the first place” he took another drag from the cigarette, noticing it was not far from done, thinking about what he said to her, whether she appreciated it or not wasn’t the point, even if he considered this part of his duties he wasn’t there to change anyone.

Then came a question not so surprising from someone with her occupation, but still of interest to him. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been to the temple in this part of Churchill, it has a massive mural covering the entire ceiling, depicting Justiae and the creation of their Clergy. Made by an artist many many years ago. It is said that the painting was so beautiful it made Justiae cry, and when his time came to cross over, they personally sent him through without a trial, a first for any race, let alone a human..” he seems lost in his thoughts, it was a story that had passed down the clergy, whether it was true or not didn’t really matter. “To answer your question, yes.. I do” finishing the last bit of the bud before extinguishing the remain embers with his fingers, flickering it into a trash can to his left. Not really having an excuse to stay longer other than a small curiosity for her and her question.

The real reason he was even at the coffee house was to observe, to find out something. But so far he had not found anything even remotely related to what he was looking for and was anxious to leave and find another part of town to see the difference in the districts and even cities as most things at the temple was being handled, for now anyway.
When she asked him again about art he turned his head ever so slightly towards her while still paying attention to new people walking by, the question stealing more of his attention his thoughts drift. The only art he ever did was as a kid when he was still living with his parents, as he was reading a lot of religious books and texts he got very into symbolism, obviously the vast majority being religious in one way or another. But after leaving his parents home and starting becoming a clergy he stopped drawing and never started again, some ideas coming into his head the occasional time when he thought back but he never went anywhere with them. "Anyone can learn to draw, paint, sew, sculpt or compose notes, that is just in the practice. But to be a real artist, you need to have something inside you.." As he spoke he noticed a new person rounding the corner to the street they were on, someone that was different. The aura was something he had never seen before, but it matched what the other clergy had told him, dark like a daemon, but something else entirely. The aura of a daemon was dark but strong and whole, this one was clearly that of a human, but twisted in a dark way, like a parasite was on it."Something.." he noticed that his answer had been cut off and focused his mind back on the answer but keeping his eyes on the person that just arrived across the road. "Uhm, excuse me." Shaking his head slightly. "A real artist has something inside them, an artist always puts something of themselves into their work, it's almost like the world gives them something they get to put back into the world in a different form, something from their soul" He pauses for a second to realize that the question was directed at him personally. "And that's not something you'll see in us, as that's not why we exist. I've not personally heard of one anyhow.." His voice fading out as he finishes his answer.

He was studying the odd human with his full attention, well mostly, some was still on the person next to him. It dawned on him that he had not been focused like this since the first time he met and studied the daemons on Torch, something that sent a chill down his spine as this was not normal, new races didn't just pop up out of nowhere, this had to be some kind of sickness. He saw the person stop and talk to a normal human, and he didn't act out of the ordinary, in fact if it wasn't for the aura, he would not be able to tell that he was different at all. As the person was just talking to someone else and didn't do anything his focus shifted back to smoking companion and her history. He smiled at her in admiring way, having pity in his eyes yet having no pity for her, he could tell she had a hard life but had the fire inside her to overcome it. A lot of people didn't make it that far, many just settling and accepting life as is. "It seems to me you've already achieved what you set out to do, making it to where you are, even with the obstacles in your way as a woman, and human. " He didn't actually know what she was or did, but from what he had gathered from her mannerisms and what she said, he figured she had to be high up in the fashion industry in some way, and being the weakest race and a woman probably didn't do her any favors. "So tell me, how is it up there? Being rich doing it for fun, is it how you pictured it?" He said with a smirk, realizing it might have sounded more like an attack than a tease.
After answering he moved his eyes back to the person from before, and just as he did, he sees another person with the same type of aura rounding the corner heading the same direction. But it didn't seem like they knew each other because as she passes him they don't exchange a single glance, they just go about their normal behavior. That meant that they either didn't know about what was wrong with them or they were very secretive about it. Was it a sickness, or some sort of parasite, where they possessed by something? Was it dormant or were they being controlled? They seemed to act too normal to be controlled by anything. As the questions were running through his mind he remembered there was something different about the person he was talking to, her aura was not like them, but it was different, but where they seemed to have something more to them, hers seemed to have something less in it. Maybe there was some connection between them? He had a lot of questions but no answers and no way of getting them coming to his mind.

"No, that's not at all what I'm saying." he was quick to respond as to not be misunderstood. Especially when it was the opposite of what he believed and preached "When you reach the ceiling, you will often find that there is a floor above it." He sighed and focused on her more now that he wasn't learning anything about the other people. "When you reach your goals, move them higher, don't settle down on one" He didn't see settling as a bad thing by and large, many found a goal worth stopping for, or abandoned their goals for others and other reasons, but in certain people he could see a fire always yearning for more, and never had he met someone like that not still reaching for something. It made him think about the artist he mentioned earlier, the tale went that he died a very old man, even for a human, and as he was in his bed, he didn't talk about things he missed in life or regretted not having a family to mourn him, he just apologized for not being able to finish his latest piece. It made him smile, he always found there was something really admirable about humans and the way they handled their lives, they were all so different and unpredictable, for the most part..

"Vanity, reluctantly, is a good motivator but never a good plane to settle on, it will stagnate, become empty and bitter." He said in a low voice, almost sounding like he read it out of a passage written in front of him. "Investing in others may be a way to feel like part of you is growing still" That's something he sometimes felt when talking to people in the temple, the Gods fueled him, then he transformed and transferred that fuel in a way people could handle and gave it to them when they came for help. He also noticed how she had to mention it was for self interest only, it made sense why she had to keep up a tough exterior in a super cutthroat industry, but he wondered if there was more behind it.

He chuckled lightly, realizing she still hadn't caught on to what he was, he thought it was obvious but then again she probably never actually met one of his kind, or went to a temple for that matter. "Don't worry, i am here to listen after all" Technically it was partly why he existed in the first place he thought, and it was something he did all the time so it was never really a bother to him, often if not always feeling guilty if he were to decline someone wanting to talk to him. He glanced at her with a smirk while answering"You could say that yes.. You could even say it's all i do, if that helps you out" Guiding her to the answer would be more interesting than just say it outright, see how far he had to go before it clicked, maybe revealing how little spirituality she had experienced in life. "Why do you ask?" He was curious to why she cared if he was religious or not, she didn't seem to know he was a clergy and she really didn't seem to care about spirituality in the slightest, so why ask? To keep the conversation going? Was that really it? He had told a thousand people about his connection to religion and spirituality and would to a thousand more without any problems but it seemed odd to put the energy out if it was not absorbed. Then again it would help her know him better even if she was not interested in his connection.
He slipped his hands into his coat pockets and leaned against the wall. There didn't seem to be any danger or anything happening with the people sticking out, making the feeling of hurry cease and calm settle in. He had not forgotten the different years she had mentioned through their conversation, not the odd aura she gave off either. "Excuse my forwardness but you look good for your age, what's your secret? I think i have to take some notes" He said with a smile and a quick chuckle to seem friendly and cover the real curiosity he had for it. Maybe her answer would reveal something about her, or maybe even something that would tie it to everything happening in the city, though that was a stretch. She seemed to be really cold by the her posture and how compacted she looked, and wondered if she was actually invested into the conversation, why else would she still be out there, her smoke was done and it was cold out.

It was more and more evident to him that she was more charitable than she led on, she had a rough exterior for sure but her actions spoke beyond that, if she was being honest of course, and he didn't see a reason for her not to be. He realized that it was probably essential to not open up in her business, so he understood why she seemed so reserved.
"I guessed as much, I'm just teasing you" He said with a chuckle, people dedicated on their work and crafts were usually the ones not familiar with his world and he could respect that, they might not be spiritual but the dedication they had could be said had similarities to spirituality or ritualistic traits. "I'm a clergy, or you could just call me a glorified preacher" he ended with a smirk on his face, not taking himself too seriously. He didn't see peoples inquiries as silly, he was there as a guide and a reminder, and people came from all kinds of different places and upbringings, it was inevitable that some people had no clue."I'm sure you've seen us about, probably without knowing it" He kind where pretty much everyone, or at least in every major city and places that had temples, except perhaps on Torch, that was not a very welcoming place for them. And for the most part they looked like a normal person, it was more when you started speaking to them you would notice them.
When she replied to his question about her age he thought he had overstepped and offended her even thought he had tried to ask it in a complimenting way to avoid that exact problem. But then she completely changes up the tone, or it seemed like that to him and it makes him laugh slightly, almost relieved. "Yeah alright fair enough, i just meant you don't look like you've lived as long as you mentioned" trying to overly make sure she did not get the wrong idea, it did occur to him that she might have messed with him but he was not about to take that chance. Then as she asked if he was busy he looked at her taking out her phone, thinking quickly through his plans for the day, which was not a lot. "Nah, i got time to kill" The errands he had were not urgent, and he was curious about her so staying a while longer wouldn't be a problem. He was a bit taken aback when she mentioned her enjoying the conversation, it didn't seem that way and its not like she was that spiritual that he could tell, but maybe she was curious about something like he was about her. "Sure yeah, though if you're buying then I'll have tea as well." He smiled and walked inside with her, and it did not take long before he knew where they were headed, the mess of paper on the table gave it away as soon as they were inside. He took off his coat, folded it and hung it over the back of the chair and sat down, waiting for her to come back with the tea, unfolding some of the paper to look at what was on it. "This what you've been stressing about?" he said as he heard her approach as he studied the sketches.

Cain carefully picks the cup of tea out of her hands as to no spill any of it and nods in gratitude, bringing it close to his lips to blow on it. "Thank you" he lets out before cooling down the tea, smelling the familiar green tea leaves. He felt her frustration as she spoke and understood that it was a real pain even though he could not relate to her struggle, not being the creative type. Holding his cup up but in deep thought the only thing reminding him of her case was the occasional déjà vu, but it didn't seem anything like that. "Hmm" he hums while taking a sip of his tea, noticing it was still scolding. Cain had met different artists in the past and as he thought back on earlier conversations he had, it reminded him of something one of them said that could maybe help, it wasn't really in his wheelhouse but it wouldn't hurt to tell her anyway, but before he could speak she continued so he kept it to himself until later.

After taking a slightly less burning sip he placed the cup down and leaned back into the chair, crossing his arms while listening, fascinated by the intricacies of the clothing industry. Maybe he shouldn't have been so surprised by it but he never really thought about the adaptability involved in it. "Hah, i see now why you struggle" he says with a soft chuckle reaching down for his cup again. "I, in my ignorance, just kinda assumed each brand had their own niche, you know like the dress brand, the winter brand and so on" letting out a short laugh again before drinking some of his tea. "Hmm, yeah i mean it's kinda impossible to please every area at the same time right, in the end you just have to choose what's most important in that line at the specific time i guess?" He says in a more questionable tone, just assuming that because it made sense in his own head, but having no actual clue beyond his own personal interest in fashion.
"Hm?" he says and looks up at her, lowering his teacup. "Yeah don't worry, haven't found a tea i dislike yet hah" chuckling at how much she seemed to care about her "service" no doubt having a similar view on her actual products, noting that down in his memory. He gently picks up one of the sketches with his right hand, leaning it on the table. "You know, besides you, the only person i talk fashion with is this tailor i go to, does impeccable work by the way, anyway, he's not like a real designer or whatever but he does make and add to clothes on the side, if you ask me, it really seems like he wanted to be one, or something similar but for whatever reason runs his tailor place instead, not that he's struggling, quite the opposite actually." he snaps out of his talking with an exhale and lifts his cup again for another sip."Ah, excuse me I'm rambling" he sips and holds the cup closer while continuing. "My point is whenever he struggles with his designs he always tells me he need inspiration, or to experience something new in a new light. He's always surrounded by the same things in his shop all day every day so i suppose that makes sense" He looks around the place and shrugs "Maybe you just need the right inspiration?" he says again kind of just throwing out ideas, then he actually thinks of something.