A few days before Solstice

James sighed at Elora's words, but he knew better than to start an argument like that. Mars took the fry, holding a nugget in his other hand that he was already munching on. His hands had already managed to get some ketchup on them, but he seemed pretty content and was just focused on eating. James smiled, watching his content kid as he himself got something to eat. "I guess I'll have to make the best potatoes for Solstice to make it up to you then," he smiled.
Conversation was always pleasant and rather casual when Elora was around, she seemed to have a way of calming down the big lycan and Mars was always happy to have guests. After dinner, James helped Mars get cleaned up before sending the kid in to have a couple of hours of playtime before he had to be in bed. James was standing at the sink, washing the dishes as he felt a little sad. Maybe it was because Elora fit so naturally in to their little family that he started to wonder what it would've been like if Cecilia had been there. He held himself together, turning his head and smiling at the daemoness beside him who was helping with the dishes and drying them off. "I wish you could come around more," he confessed in a low murmur, not really wanting to be too sentimental, but having someone there besides himself and Mars just made him happy.

The thing she loved most about dinners were the conversations and the company. She couldnt really eat the food, except that she did to not stand out. Once they were done and she was drying off the dishes he handed her, she did notice that he was a little different. His confession made her sigh as she placed down the dry dish, nodding a few times. "Me too. But with everything that's happening to Raziela... I'm afraid I'll have less time than ever," she admitted, frowning to herself as it wasnt exactly what she wanted. Sure, she couldnt be with him in the way she wanted, but she thought that at least they could have their friendship. "I'll try though," she assured him, sending him a small smile. She heard rustling in the living room chuckling a little as she knew it was just Mars with his toys. Sometimes she just wished that she could tell him everything. All the bullshit that laid behind the Aelius name, how fucked up it really was. Or muster the courage to admit to the wrongs she had done to him and his family. She stared a little too long at the plate in her hand, not really drying it off.

"Yeah, yeah, I don't blame you," he said, sending her a warm smile before continuing the washing up. He handed her a cup, frowning as she wasn't taking it and therefore turned his head to look at her. A small smile crept up on his face, taking the plate out of her hand carefully. "You tired, Ellie?" he asked, clearly concerned, but he had seen her like this a few times where she usually excused herself with being tired. It looked a little cute for her to just stand there zoning out.
"If you wanna stay the night it's fine, I can just sleep in Mars' room like last time?" he suggested, placing the plate down, touching her cheek gently. Gods he always lost his breath when he looked at her, she was just so pretty, though he preferred her chocolate brown eyes over the lilac contacts. He blinked a few times before he let his hand fall down his side, frowning a bit at himself. "Sorry," he mumbled, turning to take care of the rest of the dishes.

James felt like scum for feeling this way towards Elora. He was her friend, and it was just so painfully clear that this sort of thing made her feel uncomfortable. The sad part was that he just hungered for some sort of touch, longed for someone to hold him, which was perhaps why he reached out like this. "It's not okay, I shouldn't be a bad friend like that," he muttered, swallowing hard as he said it. In his head he could pretend, pretend that what he felt could ever be reciprocated, and it wasn't fair to either of them. "I just care about you, and my love language is clearly touch," he scoffed, shaking his head at himself.
From the living room they could hear Mars running around, making rocket sounds. Then suddenly something crashed and broke, and without hesitation James ran in to the room. Mars was sitting on the floor, tears in his eyes, and James went to his kid. "What happened, honey?" he asked worried, Mars pointing at the mug that had fallen over, broken and spilled all over his wish list. "Awe baby, it's alright, it's just a mug, are you alright?" Mars shook his head, sobbing as he pointed at his ruined drawing. James frowned, lifting it up carefully, seeing it drenched in the last remnants of tea that was left in the mug.
"Ma wocket," he sobbed, making James sigh, kissing the head of his son. "Daddy can fix it, I promise," he tried to assure him, but Mars just shook his head. "How can I get mom to you wifout wocket?" the little boy sobbed, and it was as if James stopped in his tracks. His eyes watering as he heard what his son said, swallowing as he just bent down to pick up his son and holding him close.

His mutter made her frown as she started shaking her head, wondering how he could ever think that he was a bad friend to her? Elora wasnt exactly the kind that made many friends so she valued the ones she had, even if she bore feelings for them that she wasnt really supposed to. That only meant it would hurt more if she ever were to lose them. But the moment changed as something broke and Elora stood for a bit and stared into the wall before she went to see what had happened. Or rather, she stopped out of sight, just listening to them as James was trying to calm his kid. Hearing Mars' words about the rocket also made Elora's heart drop, her throat feeling all dry like she was rediscovering the feeling of shame for the millionth time. She blinked a few times to realize she was crying too, and pretty much without saying a word, she went and got her jacket and slipped out if the apartment as quietly as she could. The air was cold, but the feeling inside was even colder. She felt strong shivers down her back, the kind that made you all twitchy. "Get a grip," she whispered quietly to herself, wrapping her arms around herself while the shaky feeling didnt seem to let go.

James seemed to slowly but surely calm down his kid, just holding him close until he eventually passed out from crying so hard. It wasn't a good feeling sending ones child off to sleep that way, but Mars was tired enough from a whole day of events anyways, and this was clearly just more tiring on the little lycan. Helping his son out of his clothes, he tugged the boy into bed, stroking some of his curls away from his face. He felt like such a bad parent when things like this happened, he felt so helpless because he didn't know what was right or wrong. He was sad, but mostly he was angry. Angry because Cecilia had left them, not taking in to consideration anything. He was convinced that if she had just spoken to him, then things had been so much different.
Wiping away a few angry tears he turned on the nightlight for his kid in case he would wake up, leaving the door slightly open. Mars usually slept through the night, but after this he wouldn't be surprised to be woken up by his child crying from nightmares. Running a hand through his hair, be breathed out through his nose, walking in to the living room where he grabbed the smudged drawing, moving it over to lay by the radiator after having dried off the worst liquid. It was then he noticed that Elora's jacket was missing, frowning a bit as he wondered if she had gotten a worse headache from Mars crying. Swallowing he opened the door carefully, her scent still lingering right outside the door. He grabbed his keys before heading outside down the stairs until he reached the door to the outside. He saw a silhouette, but it was one he recognized so clearly.
"Sorry, he has calmed down now," he said in a soft murmur. It was cold out, even though he didn't feel it as much, he knew it was cold by how the wind was hitting his bare skin. He hadn't bothered with a jacket. "I have to go in, just in case he wakes up," looking at her, hoping she was looking at him, at least just in his direction, "So do you still wanna stay or...?" His eyes were still rather vulnerable, but it was clear he was just sad about what his son had said. He didn't blame the kid, he wasn't old enough to understand the meaning of those words, but it didn't make it easier.

She could have gone far by now, but it was like her legs just wouldnt go and soon she heard his voice. She just looked down, feeling the tears run down her face but she kept herself from crying out loud. It was so cold now that day was slipping away and she could really feel that on her cheeks. She was hesitant to even turn around to face him but managed to do so, because she just stood a little quiet, unsure what to say or how to formulate a simple sentence. "It's not his fault, I left the tea on the table and...." she stopped herself, sniffling a little while she simply couldnt get herself to look at him. It was just too painful at this point. "It's my fault," she whimpered, feeling her lower lip tremble, but she wouldnt be consoled. She didnt think she was even worthy of a pitiful eye, and for a moment she considered just to blurt it out and get it over with. Because it was a ticking bomb to not pull the root and finally say what had happened. But she was selfish. She couldnt just let him go.

"Hey, hey, Ellie, look at me," he said, feeling sad that she was acting this way. Couldn't she see that he basically worshipped the ground she walked on? He reached out, taking her hand, but restricting himself in not pulling her close. She wasn't good with touch, and he didn't want to upset her more. "It's alright, it was just a drawing, he makes millions of those," he comforted her. Mars was just a small child, he cried if his teddy bear wouldn't answer him. Swallowing he looked at her, almost pleading with her to stay with his blue eyes.
"Stay, please," he finally mustered up to say. Just the thought of her not being here today made him upset. It had been a rough week at work, and with the holidays as well, he felt like he was about to lose it. "Now, come inside Ellie, you're going to be a freezing mess," he said, pulling lightly at her hand, hoping it would do something to move her. Even if it was away from him. "Mars won't be angry with you, I am not angry and I really just ... Fuck Ellie, I miss you," whispering the last part as he looked down in shame. He loved her. And the fact that they hadn't seen each other for a while was just hurting his heart at this point.

She shook her head. She just couldnt look at him, even though the tint of the lenses, just looking at him would make her insides twist and turn in disgust at herself. She looked at their hands while the tears just kept running down her cheeks. She really was the worst wasnt she? It was supposed to be her comforting him, not the other way around. And yet that was how it was going right now. His plea made her swallow hard, her cheeks were burning from the cold that had soaked in through the wet trails on her cheeks. "I..." she whispered, but as he started pulling her, it was like she couldnt even pull away. She was just that selfish and horrible, she thought to herself. "I just feel so horrible," she mumbled, still looking at their hands. "And I cant shake that feeling off of me," she mumbled, but she clearly wasnt talking about the drawing anymore, even if it seemed that way.

James thought that she might've been speaking about something else now, because the drawing wasn't the only thing anymore, however he managed to pull her inside, closing the door to the cold behind her. "No matter what it is, I'll always forgive you Ellie," he promised, without knowing what he was really promising, however he was blind when it came to her. She was just such a central point in his life that he never could be without, and that was how it would always be in his head.
Guiding her up the stairs and back in to the apartment he stopped for a moment to listen, but all that came from Mars' room was just a light snoring. He breathed out a sigh of relief before he put his focus back on Elora. He helped her off of her jacket and shoes, helping her in to his bedroom. He found one of his old shirts that she always borrowed when sleeping over, one that he would wear whenever he missed her a little too much. James was a comfort kind of guy, he needed it in his life, and while he might be big and bulky, there was something very soft about him. "Get in this, I'll lay with you until you start to feel warm," he promised her. It wasn't uncommon, especially in the winter months for them to be wrapped up, him trying to heat her up after one of their walks. He went out of the room as she changed, feeling his heart ache in his chest, but he kept ignoring what he really wanted to do - something that even experienced lycans had a hard time with.
Followings ones instinct as a lycan was vital for their whole being. Mates were found in weird places, but unlike someone of his own kind, he couldn't just pursue Elora like any other woman. She wasn't into it like that, even though he swore that he could sometimes feel a spark when he was holding her hand. He just had to ignore it, push it down, remind himself that his mate was out there.
He came back in to the bedroom, knocking carefully before looking at her. Those dried tears on her red cheeks made him sigh, because he hated seeing her like this. "C'mon, get in to bed already," he said softly, not like she was a child, but speaking to someone who definitely meant more than just a friend. If she did he would crawl in after her, fully clothed of course, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to his chest. "Get some rest," he murmured in to her hair.

James held her close, not caring that her tears would soak his shirt, because all he wanted was for her to feel better. This tonight had clearly sparked something in her that was a bad memory or perhaps her worry regarding her family. However it shouldn't matter right now, not when he held her at least. Eventually she had drifted off to sleep, but he did linger just for a little while more, just until he could hear the soft whimpers from Mars' room. Sighing to himself, he looked at Elora one last time, wanting to lean down and kiss her forehead, but he had already extended this further than needed be, so he simply left the room and went to sleep in Mars' bedroom instead. His kid clearly needed his dad most of all right now.

//End of topic//