Not like the rest

He made sure to play close attention to her as she told him her name, seeing if she was lying or telling him the real name. If she gave a fake name its not like he would call her out on it, at least not now, it was so he could at least call her something, it was more about observing her trust level. "Mickey the mouse huh?" he said in thought, letting out a quick exhale through the nose as his lips grew a bit on the edges. "I'll have to remember that one" There was something to that in his mind, Mickey the mouse he repeated in his head, the way her mannerisms changed when she said it made him feel pretty confident that it was her real one.
Then just as she spoke her question out loud he could sense the the sudden change in her and how hopeless she appeared. It made him sit up more straight and his face was washed clean of any expression, just looking at her and her aura for a while. What could he say? She was the first of their kind he had met that was anything like her, he felt pretty close to her in how unlike the others she was, but even so, she was not a kid any more, he didn't know her actual age, but going by appearances alone she was way passed the normal age for the calling to kick in. He was stumped on her situation, he was struggling to find the right thing to say that would actually mean something. On instinct alone his gaze moved out the window to the dark cloudy sky, as if he was looking towards Justiae for an answer.

It made him think about his own relationship with them, breaking the stare with a few blinks and looking down to the streets again. There was a time not very long ago where he was lost and not sure if he was abandoned, it changed his view almost completely, but he was still here. "Yes, i do" He slowly looked back at her with a serious and a small melancholic smile. Maybe he assumed to much into her question, it could mean many different things on its own, but he thought he knew but he could have just put himself too much in her position with his own experiences. "The fact that you are here is all the reassurance you need" He cupped his hands around the mug and lifted it up to his mouth with a pause. "Justiae has not lost faith in you, don't feel guilty about something that is beyond your control. I don't know where your path will lead you, but if they thought you were a lost child, you would not be here talking to me." He took a sip of the tea before leaning back into the couch, holding the mug in his lap. He could imagine how frustrating it would be in her position, where everyone of their kind has had the calling and lived their whole life in service except for her. But he meant what he said, there was no one that could blame her for it, its not like she denied the calling and went against them all, she was just never called for, yet. He tilted his head slightly to the side looking at her. "Mickey, don't lose the faith, you are not forgotten, there is a reason for your late calling, maybe you are meant for something more than us" He slowly looked out the window. "It's not our place to question them, as frustrating as things can be, it wont get you any closer to an answer.. Believe me.." Letting out a long sigh as he zoned out looking at a streetlight in the darkness below.

Whether it was a bad idea to choose honesty, time would show surely. She personally preferred honesty but never felt sure if she could trust someone’s word. But it was also hard with a judgement as clouded as hers. Left her with no choice but to be suspicious of everyone and everything. “Yeah,” she simply scoffed as he repeated her name, unsure whether she would like to be referred to as the mouse of all things.  
Her question could have been many things, but as complicated as Mickey could be, some things had to be simple. Giving the question more meaning than just wanting to know whether his offer held any weight on it at all seemed pointless. At least as long as she stuck to believing that he may only be seeing her as some charity project. She looked at his face as he studied her aira, trying not to seem too bothered even if it felt like he was seeing something she herself couldnt.
His answer seemed different from the chippy attitude he otherwise had displayed and she simply nodded without further questions. In the end, even if he saw hope and potential, what was to say that it wasnt just all for nought? Mickey knew her best and worst qualities, the worst probably being how easy it was for her to be letting people down.
The talk of their god just made her look at the mug on the table. She had grown up in a rather free minded household. It was partly what she thought had led to the lack of calling but then again, she was still here, he was right about that.

But as he reminded her not to lose faith her expression hardened and she grit her teeth a little in response. “Justiae hasnt ever given me any reasons to keep faith. No answers to prayers, no nothing,” she mumbled under her breath looking away, wrapping the blanket a little closer around herself. She felt her eyes sting but she refused to cry. “Maybe I’m just a lost cause waiting to meet my downfall,” she said, frowning before she shook her head at herself. What a vulnerable stance to take, she thought to herself, biting down on her tongue to stop any further frustrations to leave her mouth in such a betrayal to herself. “You’re wasting your time,” was what she wanted to say, but luckily bit down hard enough to not say anything. She could taste the slight hint of metal, but didnt care. “I dont want to talk about this anymore,” she said instead after a while, not looking in his direction.

As soon as he heard her blame Justiae for her lack of faith, his eyes focused and widened, flicking to the very edge of the sockets in her direction, but keeping his head out the window. He felt a chill run through his spine and fought himself form speaking, even though it all happened as an automatic response he could recognize that it was not called for. He regulated the rapidly increasing breathing and closed his eyes, focusing on his patience through a simple meditation technique, ending it with a big sigh. If she had any plans on staying for a while or begin any teachings, he knew that topic would have to come up again, but now was not the time, as much as he wanted to tell her how out of line she was, he did understand that she knew very little of their world and had been through much, and he knew his reaction would be an overreaction, but he couldn't help it, all he could do was calm down and move the topic for a better time.
Her next line however brought him down to earth again way quicker as it was quote for quote something he had said before. "yeah.." he said very quietly under his breath, not really realizing that he said it out loud. Reminding him of something he hadn't visited in a while, the room in his home. He wanted to be a positive influence on her ever since they met, but the more they spoke the more it felt like she was dragging him into her side, or more so the side he was desperate to avoid, not his bad one, but his vulnerable one. He couldn't go to that place whenever she was staying there, not mentally and definitely not physically. He could not subject her to his method, it would not be fair or a good influence, even though from what he could gather about her, she was already doing something similar in her own way anyway.

Luckily she wanted to change the topics anyway, even though he could see it came from a bad place he wanted to give her space, let her steer the conversation for the most part to avoid touchy subjects. "That's alright, we can talk about whatever you want, or not at all if that's what you prefer" He said with a warmer tone again, finishing his tea before placing it back on the table, leaning back with his arms stretched out on the backrest and lifting his left leg up to rest on his right. He didn't sit long before he got up from the couch and walked towards the entrance, it was late so he did what he normally did around that time, turned the ceiling lights down very low, keeping the apartment dark but still fully visible, with only one smaller lamp further in fully on. "Hope you don't mind, helps settle the body in for the night" He said as he passed her on his way back into his seat, resuming the position he had before he left. he thought about bringing out a drink but decided against it for her benefit, not that she would object to it, but figured it would be better to keep things simple for the night, and it wasn't a good way to deal with bad nights like this one, as hypocritical as that sounded in his head. "So what's your plan?" he asked curiously, knowing how long she was staying or what her intentions where in general would make it easier for him to plan out his days. But as he said it he noticed it could have been pretty blunt as maybe she didn't have any, maybe it was just a last resort type of thing she didn't really plan out. "If you haven't really thought about it that's alright, no pressure, it's just my curiosity speaking" ending it with a light-hearted scoff, looking at her. He had noticed through their conversation that she was pretty expressive physically, even though she seemed to try to be very reserved about it vocally.

"Me?" he said a bit surprised at her flip on his own question seeing the defiance in her eyes. "I suppose i don't really have one, I'll stay home more if you're planning on staying, other than that pretty much the same as always" He said thinking about it, most of his days were down to routine he followed pretty strictly. It's not like he couldn't deviate from them, there was just rarely a reason to, but now that she was there that might change things. He was pretty good adapting to the situation ahead and the fact that his duties were not tied to a timetable helped a lot with that.
So she just needed a place to stay until whatever happened calmed down so she could return he thought, thinking on what it could be, since she was bruised would it be one of the repeating cycles? Or did he misread the entire situation? He put his foot down and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, holding his head up attentively.
"Aahh" The sudden realisation leaving his lips like a dying breath. Her experiences was getting more alike his with every sentence it felt like to him, but the kinship he felt had to be more than just bound by tragedy right? He didn't know what she lost or how she felt about it, but if it was anything like his own loss, he felt horrible for her. He was not over Atlas and he never would be, that was a promise he had made the day it happened, to leave the open scar on his heart forever as a reminder. His eyes started to get watery and he slide his head down into his palms. They might have been very different people, but her words mimics his own it seemed. If he could back and never leave, things would have been very different, so very different.

He dragged the palms down his face and sat more straight. "I know that feeling" he said through an exhale, biting the inside of his lips, very conflicted in his mind. He had been sort of like a therapist for people coming to him in the temples, trying to help them out by listening and offering advice and guidance. But the more he got to know Mickey the harder it became, a lot of her hurt were so similar to him in his mind and he was far from dealing with his own. So if he couldn't even solve his own problems, what chance did he have at helping her? Thinking about it like that made him almost think that it was his duty to help, like she was a helpless case, but he knew that wasn't true, he had experienced that before and this wasn't like that, there was that obscure kinship he had felt as soon as he met her. If he could somehow just understand it, maybe it would explain something.
"Who was it? If.. you don't mind me asking" he asked carefully, if he knew more about it maybe it would help him understand more about her station, if it was more or less similar to his own for one. he would understand if she didn't want to talk about it, that was the plan from earlier, to avoid whatever she came from, but since she brought it up, maybe it was safe to inquire more about it.

When he heard her say mother and protector, his eyes widened looking at her, feeling a loss of control of his composure, as much as he tried to keep it. "haahh.."He said through an exhale, resembling an uncontrollable fading laugh as he looked down and stared at the table without blinking. Fuck, how was she so damn similar.. Maybe he was overreacting, maybe there was just many coincidences, maybe he was too focused on what was similar and not what was different. The calling, he was delayed but still introduced very young, then there was.. something. her personality? Yes they were very different right? There had to be more too, they had barely spoke, just because she had similar experiences didn't mean there weren't many more that was totally different. He could feel his heart rate increasing, she was freaking him out more than she should have, it was definitely the vulnerable state blowing it out of proposition.
He never really had a mother figure in his life, his biological mother was sweet and caring to him until she knew what he was, he never blamed her for how she was, same for his father. After he left there was no one else, he had often thought that his true creator filled that role in some vague way, but the way Mickey said it, was his exact feelings for his mentor. He didn't say anything about it, maybe to ease his own mind about the similarities and maybe because she didn't need to know that part. He got a better hold on himself and moved his eyes to the empty mug, still biting his insides without thinking about it. he saw her sad smile, and it was obvious to him that she was not in a good place, he started feeling guilty about not paying more attention to her as she was the one grieving and the one that came to him. he had talked to a lot of people, many of them sad and in distress, so he had gotten pretty good at keeping his emotions in check when comforting someone, especially considering how empathetic he was at heart. But when he was reminded of his own vulnerability, it became a lot harder to keep his shit in order. It was like bypassing his armour through weak points, but with her it felt more like a strike through the centre of the armour itself.

He let out a quick exhale with a trying smile, looking up at her faintly. "I wish i had a good answer for you that would make it seem more hopeful.." moving his eyes out to the side, maybe to avoid seeing disappointment in her eyes "But you wouldn't like it. No one does.." Ending it with a quick fading laugh. There was a good reason for nobody liking it, it was heartless, as true as it may have been, it never did anything to make people feel better, it was more of a fact that no one wanted to think about, including him.
He saw her struggling to keep her composure as well, probably trying to avoid what she considered weakness, he thought about ways he could make her more comfortable, less alone, maybe sitting next to her. But knowing her it would maybe make things worse. He was hurting, but it had been years since his loss, she was is a way worse place and he could tell, which made it all worse that he didn't feel like he was helping at all.
A bit surprised at her question he jerked his head to look at her, it shouldn't have been a surprise considering he said he knew how she felt, but it still somehow caught him of guard, maybe because he was too busy thinking about what she said. He forced a smile but it faded as fast as it appeared, looking down at his empty mug again, finally making up his mind about what he was considering earlier. It was a fair question after she just answered the same, and it was not like he was fixing his armour any time soon. "My mentor. Or father.." he kept it short and tried to avoid making it too similar. He quickly got up form his seat, and walked to the small cupboard holding the lamp. Fuck dealing with the past in a healthy way, he had been thinking about it for a long time and at this point he didn't care, he would deal with the consequences later. He opened the cupboard door and reached inside, pulling out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, then started walking back. "If the tea didn't do it for you, then this definitely will." he said more indifferently, trying to avoid thinking about how he was doing the opposite of what he was supposed to do. Pushing his mug aside he placed down the glasses, unscrewed the bottle and dropped it on the table, making it roll down the side and off the table, then filled his glass and hovered it over hers without pouring, looking at her for an answer whether to continue or not.

She clearly saw him with the bottle and with her lack of words he assumed that meant he should keep pouring, so he filled her glass half full before placing it haphazardly on the table making a slight thud noise. He dropped back into his seat with the glass in his hand, looking at her with a curious face. He laughed when she thought he was helping her with sobriety, not knowing if she was serious, trying to be funny or thorny he continued. "Well if that's the reason you came here you got the wrong man" he finished taking a big sip from his glass and held it with a loose grip around the rim, having full intention of finishing it before putting it back.
At the mention of her bruises his eyes drifted to her neck, of course he noticed them earlier and had many questions and situations running around his mind but he wasn't going to ask her about it, or bring it up if she came there to get away from it. He didn't answer her and just clenched his teeth starting at her neck. Her question to him didn't break his gaze or change his composure, instead he spoke softly almost under his breath. "Like you've been to the Abyssus and back.." He looked up at her and continued "I didn't want to be the one that brought it up, especially since you came to me" He leaned back into his seat still looking at her, taking another big sip of the glass, flipping the question around on her to get the answer, guessing wouldn't do anything but give away what was on his mind. "But since you brought it up, what did happen?" he asked, looking quickly at her glass, narrowing his eyes in thought.