This can only end badly

@Darren

Gareth had been very absent over the last couple of weeks, and by absent she also meant that when he was finally there with her, his mind was somewhere else. Instead she had found herself spending more time with Darren. It was weird, mostly because where her and Gareth seemed to fall off, her and Darren had picked up. But it felt natural. "You're out of milk," she said as she closed the fridge, walking back in to his living room. She sat down on his couch next to him handing him a new beer. Turning her head to look at the game they were playing on his console. "Nonono! You gotta get on the ledge and then on to the spring!" she chuckled, pulling at the controller to show him.

Ayalla was rather happy that they had chosen a platform adventure game, mostly because it was what she preferred. As he gave up the controller she pulled her legs up on the couch, crossing them as she bit her lower lip in concentration. It was easier to play a game and be frustrated about that, than actually talk about what was going on. But perhaps talking was what she needed. Only she felt like she couldn't talk to Vanessa about this, not with them being related ... and there was no way in hell she would seek advice from Ethan Spencer of all people. But Darren never seemed to mind when she was just trying to push her focus on to something else.
"Got it," she mumbled, moving on to the spring, pressing the jump button, but only a little too late. The cute character fell down a hole and they were met with a game over screen. Groaning she leaned back in the couch, tossing the controller away but trying to contain some of her anger, "stupid fucking game," she muttered. Instead she pulled out her phone, but no messages. What was the use of her phone anyway? The only person who ever seemed to text back was Darren. Vanessa was always too busy with Ethan and Gareth? Well who the fuck knew what he was up to.
Closing her eyes she focused on her breathing, trying not to let her emotions run wild, but she just had this gut feeling. She knew she had said she was accepting of Gareth's lifestyle, that he couldn't be tied down like most guys, but she just worried. Mostly because she felt inadequate. Her hair had been growing out, resembling mostly an unkempt pixie cut.
"Are the pills helping you?" She asked, as he seemed less busy with figuring out others business today.

He watched her play, taking a small sip of his beer as she seemed to know what to do. Darren honestly couldnt even begin to figure out where she was heading and why. But he also just enjoyed spending time with her rather than anything. Even if they werent talking about anything and just playing these videogames. He chuckled a little as she seemed to make them lose, shaking his head at her mutter as he looked towards her. "Dont be a sore loser, A" he teased her, taking another sip of his beer.
He took back the controller and knew that the checkpoint was pretty far off, so he just started getting the character back to the spring that Ayalla had tried to jump over. Her question made him hum as he made a small nod while he was looking at the tv screen. "I was told they'd be more effective the more frequently I take them. I almost hear nothing these days, and thank fuck for that" he admitted. It was just a little nicer to have your head to yourself once in a while, though he knew he couldnt just be careless with the pills. But damn, how he wanted to.

"Always am and always will be," she said, breathing out in a sigh as she rested her head in her hand, looking at the screen as he was traversing the landscape she just listened as he went on to say he heard nothing. She was happy for him, but it also meant he wouldn't have heard anything from Gareth. Still feeling stomped about knowing what was up with him she took another sip of her beer. "Starting to feel a bit normal then?" she smiled. She knew there would never be anything normal about the two of them, but it was nice to fit in once in a while.
"How about we go to the beach?" she just said out of the blue. The sun outside was nice, but not so hot that the beach would be booming with people. Turning her head, her green eyes studied him for a bit. "We could bring some beer and I could play some music on my phone? I mean we barely go out these days," she added, knowing that he wasn't too big of a fan of crowded places. But if his pills were working, then maybe he would consider it? "C'moooon just the two of us," she pleaded, leaning her head against his shoulder looking up at him with puppy eyes.

Ayalla giggled lightly at his question, shrugging lightly as she would really tell. Not that it mattered, but as he called her girlie she knew he was trying to sneak his way out of it. Pouting she wrapped her arms around the one she had her head on. "Please Dare, please, please, pretty please," she said looking at him as he turned his face away. She didn't even look at the screen, she just looked at him, her eyes a little sad. Letting go of his arm she just got up, "alright then we wont go," she said. Why was she all of a sudden acting like such a bitch? Maybe she was just tired of just waiting around. "Do you want another beer?" she just said, her eyes a little absent as she just went out in to the kitchen. Opening a window she sat down in a window sill, the sun shining so nicely outside but she felt stuck in here. But she was too much of a pussy to go to the beach herself. What if she lost control? What if. She was always holding herself hostage with those two words. And that was why she was just sitting in the window sill, looking out at the world even if he didn't have the best view.

She just sat there, pouting a bit to herself but it was mostly because she didn't know what else to do. He of course came in to check on her and she breathed out and shrugged. "I don't know, I just thought it would be fun for us to do something together for once," she said, but of course there was something underlying it all that just was harder to talk about. She knew that Darren had feelings for her, and at first she had just shrugged it off - as mean as that might sound. But now she was starting to feel something for him as well, and she felt stupid. "But I get it, the beach isn't some place you wanna go, so don't worry about it," she said biting the inside of her cheek.
Turning her head she looked out at the sunshine. "Do you only wanna play video games with me?" She asked. She never complained, but sometimes she wondered if he was just doing that because it was the only friend related thing he could think of. "I mean, there's other stuff we could do; like go for a walk or go out for drinks?" Was she fishing for something in particular? No, not really, but she sometimes felt like maybe the reason they never went anywhere was perhaps because she wasn't nice to be around?
"Like, tell me what you would most like to do right now," she urged him, looking at him. The sadness in her eyes lingering but she was happier when she was around Darren. He was just a good guy to have on your side.

She shrugged but even if she didnt know, he didnt quite believe it. She had to be acting this way for a reason, even if it wasnt really about him at all. For once, she said as if they werent doing other things. Like watching TV, playing videogames or just talking. She seemed to change her attitude for a second but then she asked a question that made him frown a little. He just kept quiet as he was thinking of what to say. It was difficult because he hadnt really grown up around friends and learning how to behave socially, it was only that it wasnt that obvious to see. He had buried his past so well when he had been with Ethan and Gareth that no one really remembered that he grew up in a facility much like Vanessa and Ayalla.
He put his hands in his pockets and made a small shrug. "I dont want to do anything specific. I'm jus' really happy to jus' be around you, A." he explained before he made another shrug now that he was thinking about it anyway. "Look, I'm not fun like Ethan. Or confident like Gareth. I cant jus' go anywhere and then have a blast," he said before he looked at her, narrowing his eyes a little. He just didnt want to go to the beach and then suddenly be a bore to her when there was no TV or console to draw attention away from the fact that he wasnt all that talkative and loud when there wasnt a big group to blend into.

"I don't spend time with you expecting you to be like Ethan or Gareth," she said, getting to her feet she walked over to him, taking his hand in her own. She didn't know why, she just felt like it was natural. "I'm here because I want to spend time with you," she said, maybe more vulnerably than she would've liked it to come out. She cared a great deal for him, maybe a feeling that was stronger than it should've. She had made up her mind. But then again, if Gareth had no need to be tied down, then why should she?
"I'm just scared that we stay here because you feel embarrassed about me ... Or that you worry about what Gareth might say," she said, but she couldn't know for sure. She was always left guessing a bit, and these days it was like she would get no answers. "He doesn't control me," but the way she said it sounded more like her reminding herself of that fact.