Accountability for our actions

She felt the skin, sighing as she felt bad for him being hurt like this. She moved her hand away, instead wrapping itself around his upper body, opening her eyes to look at him. Feeling his lips move over her forehead was nice, sighing slightly. She was aware that she was still in shock, awfully aware, and she feared how she would react once she moved out of that state. Buffy nodded at his words, already yearning to feel the warm water around her, but she also knew her body wouldn't really react positively to just being thrown in a hot bath in the way her body temperature was right now. "It's strange," she mumbled. She felt her body so numb yet so cold, leaning against him she felt scared. Scared that she wouldn't feel anything again. She looked up at him, frowning in the dark room, before she pulled him closer, placing her lips against his, sighing in relief. Relieved because she still felt her heart beat so fast for him, and she knew it was only temporary that she felt this numb. "I wish I could've told you I love you in private before going so public with my family," she whispered, feeling sadness around that fact. For some reason it was easier to focus on that and not on the image of her mother roaming her mind. "And I can't make sense of the lycan," she said, frowning as she felt her words were all over the place. Her mind couldn't seem to focus on just one thing, constantly moving on to her next thought.

Xander nodded at her aunt's information before he went out to help those that needed it. However he couldn't seem to help check in on Aiden from time to time. He wanted to make sure she was doing fine, make sure she wasn't overworking herself. A large amount of ambulances arrived, making him feel more secure in all of this. The other family had come to help them, many of them taking over for those seraphim that had been at the attack. "Are you alright?" he asked Aiden, sitting down to help lifting up a seraph who's leg was badly damaged. He took out a small can of an oily substance, smearing it on the leg before he gestured for Aiden to wrap the leg with gauze.

He heard her mumble and he fully agreed with her words. It was strange, seeing Daniel in his lycan form doing what he did. He didnt know how to tell her that it was Daniel. He felt like he needed to figure out why before he would present her with what he knew, but at the same time he wasnt sure what telling her later would mean. At least he was sure that now wasnt the right time when he was trying to get her to relax and process it all. He scoffed at her whisper as he caressed her back with his eyes closed for a bit, "I was going to tell you either way," he said as he touched her cheek, opening his eyes to look at her with soft eyes, "Declaring it in front of your family felt freeing, it wasnt just to save my life" he said. He sighed at the mention of the lycan. Daniel. He frowned a little as he tugged her closer, his own mind drifting off in wonder. He rubbed his cheek onto her hair as he went quiet for a bit while his mind was trying to work out a theory, staring into the nothingness of the room.

Aiden didnt look up as Xander asked if she was fine, nodding a little as she made a deep sigh, "Yeah, I was only bitten, but it's taken care of. I just dont understand why a lycan participated in the daemon's evil scheme," she said with a confused tone as she watched Xander smear the leg. She narrowed her eyes a little, "Did you make that?" she asked as she started binding the leg, making sure it would ensure a proper healing. She gestured for a couple of seraphim to come move the guy while she moved onto the next. It felt easier with the help of the others, but she was guessing it was Leona's doing. She didnt seem like a woman that would accept denial from the other families.

She had to agree with him, it felt quite liberating to say what they had in front of her family. She leaned in to his embrace, wondering if she just laid here forever that the outside world would forget about every hatred out there. He fell silent, making her just listen to his heart beat and his breathing. "You're thinking of something," she whispered, having gained some strength back to her voice. She knew how he was when he got lost in his mind, however she also feared that what he might think off wouldn't put her mind to ease. She kissed his chest gently, her hands slowly moving up and down his back to generate more heat. "I know you just want to protect me, but if you know something then please tell me," she said. Anything he knew she would listen to, but she knew that when he went silent it also meant that he might not want to share. She kissed his chest again, feeling her fingers move slightly, trying to touch his back without grabbing on too hard. She just wanted to try an move her fingers a bit, then trying to move her toes that were still rather cold. It had taken such short amount of time to get her cooled down, but heating her up again seemed to take too long in her opinion.

Xander nodded at her question. "I'm training to become a doctor," he said, knowing it didn't explain his knowledge behind making potions and ointments like these. He saw it as a hobby, a way to improve other's lives or potentially make them more bearable. He sighed, reaching in to his bag, pulling out some different cans and containers, each with a small label with what they were called and what they could be used on. He saw the bite on her arm, taking her wrist as she tried to move away. Biting his lip he gave her a small container. "Twice a day until nothing is left; you might have a faint scar, but it should heal most of your layers of skin and prevent infection," he said, looking in to her eyes. He wanted to say his thanks to her, for what she was willing to do, but he seemed to only be able to hand her this gesture before letting her go. He stood for a while, frowning to himself before he moved on. More help arrived and before long people were being moved to either the hospital, home or to the morgue. Xander leaned against a light post, his body tired and he felt his soul broken to pieces. He saw how his mother was being carried away, looking after her as he felt himself well up. He wanted to cry, wanted to let out all those emotions, but he couldn't seem to do it yet. When he got alone he would break down, he already knew that, but the problem was he didn't want them all to think he couldn't handle this responsibility.

Buffy just rested against him, knowing he was being caught up in his own mind. Normally she wouldn't mind it, but after all the things that had happened, she didn't like the silence. She wanted there at least to be some noise to drown out all of the loud thoughts going through her head. He apologized, however he seemed to go straight back to being distant again. She wanted him to be in the room with her, not off in his mind. Then he spilled his thoughts, and she blinked a few times as she tried to realize what he had said. "Daniel? Why ... Why would he ... He ..." she mumbled, her body starting to shake a little however realization hadn't seemed to hit her yet. "He's your friend," she said, clearly in denial as she looked at the way he was heating up her fingers. It felt nice, but at the same time she started to feel dread in her system. She took a few trembling breaths. "I think I'm ready for that bath," she whispered, her brain clearly fighting against whatever the aftermath of the shock might be.

He heard her coming closer, sniffling and trying to keep it together. Her question was simple, however he didn't know if he could handle going home right now. On the other hand he couldn't just let Buffy be alone, but he reminded himself that Baal was there. Perhaps Xander needed to seek out a friend of his to stay the night at. "I don't really know," he confessed, frowning as he looked down. It felt so convoluted, everything mixed and mashed together in his brain. "How about you yourself? I think you'd need someone to be with you tonight," he said, but he wasn't really suggesting it be him. He felt comfortable in her presence, but crying the whole night and screaming in pain from the healing wing wasn't exactly something he wanted to put on her shoulders. "I might have a friend in the Eastern District, but I don't know if they're even home," he said in with a frown. He himself lived in the Central District, but he had friends over most of Churchill. He looked to his aunt. She had a family to go home to, her children to hug a little closer tonight, but he had his sister and himself right now. He didn't have a mother to run to, and doubted that his father would be in any more of a state to help him cope. He breathed in heavily, looking up at the sky. "But if they're not home I'm kinda stuck, as my sister probably needs space to realize what has happened," he said, frowning as he felt trapped. And honestly he didn't really know what the right answer was.

He looked at her as she seemed to process his words, frowning a little as he regretted speaking his mind when she was already dealing with so much. He nodded at her words about Daniel being his friend, "Yes. But I fear that might not be much longer. Not when he has hurt you like this," he said, still unable to think of any reasoning that made any sense. He couldnt know what had been happening, it was daemon business and a lycan would have heard nothing of it. He looked at her as he heated up her fingers, nodding at her whisper. He got up from the bed, keeping her under the duvet as he went to look for something to cover her with. He grabbed a blanket to wrap her in before he lifted her up into his arms, kissing her forehead. He didnt want to be away from her, even for a moment. He brought her to the bathroom, placing her to sit on the toilet as he went to the bathtub to turn on the water and adjust the heat. He made it a little warmer than he would have bathed in himself, knowing she enjoyed heat. He turned his head back to look at her, "Do you want bubbles?" he asked before he would look at the different soaps, pouring one that would make bubbles in the water if she wanted bubbles. "It's ready," he said as he turned to her, walking over to her to peel the blanket off her, moving slow and calm.

Aiden frowned a little at his words as she felt herself worry about him when he wasnt really sure. As the question was turned back to her, she made a small shrug, "No I dont have anyone. I have a tub of icecream and a small fireplace," she said but she didnt really mind not having someone. After seeing the lycan's doing she was fine with just being on her own. She didnt need the sight of whoever it was, had it been someone she knew.
She made a few nods at his words, pinching her lips together as she was searching for her words. She didnt want him to be alone so hearing that his friend possibly wasnt there made her worry. She tilted her head a little as she then looked down, correcting her footing. "You could come stay with me... for the night," she then said, looking at him with a sad yet encouraging smile to accept her offer. "I wouldnt be able to sleep knowing that you may or may not be with your friend," she added with a shrug. She wasnt lying. She was quite fast to worry about others, it was just natural to her.

Buffy could hardly digest what he was telling her. Daniel. The lycan who had encouraged them to be together, had joked with her over the small text messages; was he really a monster like that? She found it hard to imagine, mostly because lycans rarely killed, even vampyres they seemed to have relative peace with at the moment. It didn't make sense, none of it, but perhaps it was because her mind was still trying to shield her from what would eventually come crashing down. At her words he seemed to lift her up with ease, she planted her head against his shoulder as he walked, closing her eyes as she felt safe with him. She sat on the toilet where he placed her, her body shivering a bit, but it was probably just because it longed to be submerged in the hot water. Nodding with a faint smile on her lips as he asked if she wanted bubbles. "I always loved baths as a kid," she said, looking at the water rise with the soft and foamy white bubbles laying on top. It felt almost nostalgic. It was soon ready for her, and she moved to stand up, her knees a little shaky as she frowned. She was still wearing her underwear, moving a hand down to remove it with shaking hands before stepping out of it. She let him help her to the tub, holding on to him as she stepped in. A relaxed sigh escaped her lips as she felt the water, as she slowly submerged her body in to the hot water. For a human it would've probably burned their skin, but for a fenix that was cold this seemed like the perfect temperature. She leaned back against the side of the tub, looking at the bubbles with watery eyes.

Under normal circumstances he would've chuckled at her words about having a tub of ice cream, but he couldn't find his happiness. He felt doomed to feel sadness forever, even though he knew in his heart that this was simply a passing moment. Her suggestion made him frown, however he hadn't seen her do any harm. Actually his gut was telling him to trust her, let himself follow wherever this lead. "I'd like that," he confessed, but he didn't know if it would be a wise call. However she had handled his wing so nicely, so perhaps she could be asked to check on it in the morning before he left? Not that he wanted to take advantage of her kindness, more of a need to know everything would heal fine. "But what type of ice cream do you have?" he asked, trying to be funny, but his voice sounded more sad than optimistic. It was going to be a rough night, he could already tell.

When she wanted bubbles, he nodded with a calm smile as he grabbed the bottle of soap to squeeze some in the water, swirling his hand around to make sure there was a lot of them. He inhaled the scent of the soap to smile a little at the fact that it was lavender. He would have loved to see her undress but he wasnt even thinking along those lines as he watched her shaky hands grab it. He looked up at her face but he was going to let her do this by herself. Instead he helped her get in the bath, holding onto her till she was fully submerged into the warm water. He sat down on his knees next to the tub as he placed his elbow on the edge and rested his head loosely in his hand, looking at her as he rubbed his thumb a little against the side of his face while he seemed to be thinking. He wanted her to think of something else, at least for a moment. "I dont want to hide what we have anymore," he then said as he looked at her, biting his lip as he looked at her, moving his hand from his cheek to hers, looking down at the bubbles. "I dont want to take your love for granted," he added as he looked at her with serious eyes. He stroked her cheek gently making a faint half-smile, "And I feel like I would be with all the secrecy," he said with a sigh.

Xander's confession made Aiden nod as she otherwise knew she couldnt have gotten much sleep. She knew it probably was going to be a hard night for him, by what she had seen when he had been holding his sister who cried at one of the deceased - Figuring it was their mother or someone close. She raised her eyebrow a little as he seemed to want to know what kind of ice cream she had. "Pistachio," she said before she narrowed her eyes at him, "I normally wouldnt share my ice cream with anyone. But I'll make an exception tonight," she then said, making a small sad smile. She could already feel herself a little more at ease now that he had agreed to come with her, then she didnt have to worry whether he was alone or not. She bit her lip a little as she looked at his wing for a bit before she frowned a little to herself, "I dont think you would be able to get in my car," she then concluded, making a small shrug. She didnt mind walking as she didnt live far from here. She liked living in the western part because there was always some sort of noise to be heard, either the echos of music from the clubs or cars passing through the streets. She liked noise, it made her feel less alone.
"It's this way," she then said as she made a gesture before she walked the direction they had to go. She knew she would feel her head clear up once they left the thick stench of blood and guts. She looked down at the ground as she frowned a little, wrapping her arms around herself as it was quite cold. "What a horrible night," she mumbled to herself blinking a few times before she shook her head and looked up. She glanced at him, pinching her lips together, wishing she could read minds. They reached her apartment and she was relieved to step into the medium heated home of hers. She got out of her jacket and groaned a little as it pulled at the bandage around her arm. "I'm fine," she quickly retracted herself to grab the loose bandage and go to fix it herself. She just felt like she would be bothering him if she even thought about letting him handle it. "I can make you some soup if you're hungry?" she suggested with a trying faint smile.

Moving in to the water with Baal's help was nice, sitting and feeling the hot sensation warm her up was nice. He spoke, and she turned her eyes to him, her green eyes looking vulnerable as she listened. She had to agree that she didn't want to hide either, but the whole part about taking her love for granted made her shake her head. She placed a soap covered hand over the one on her cheek. "It's dangerous; I can't lose you," she pleaded. Even if being out and about wouldn't be too much of a deal, she feared what the daemons might do once they found out. Her family probably couldn't accept it, but they would have to live with what she chose. However she had a feeling that his kind would not accept this. "You're not taking advantage of my love nor are you taking it for granted," she said to him, promising that whatever he felt he did, she didn't observe that way. She had accepted that they would need to hide to love, and it was just a fact of her life. She could love him in private and that was all. But she did like the thought of them, walking down the street together, holding hands and sneaking small kisses. Doing real couple things like going out for dinner or going anywhere public just to be together. "It's not that I don't want us to be out in the open, but the risk of losing you is too much for me to handle," she whispered, looking down, her hand still holding on to his, but not restricting him. She loved him, loved him dearly, and she could feel her body shake a little in fear of losing him. Her eyes watered, but she didn't seem to lose herself yet.

Xander couldn't help but smile slightly, however his smile didn't seem to reach his eyes. He felt numb, and rather tired. He followed her, walking at a calm pace. Her words did little to make him react. In fact he remained quiet, caught up in his mind as the night's events replayed over and over. Perhaps his mind had become a bit obsessive, thinking of the different things he could have done different, what he could've done to save more lives. Coming in to the apartment, he barely looked around. He just stood for a while, blinking until she started groaning. Something in him just flipped on, taking off his shoes and jacket before he went to the kitchen. He was quick to find some cleaning pads before walking back to her. He removed the gauze that she was trying to adjust. He looked in to her muddy brown eyes before turning his attention back to her bite marks. He cleaned it gently, making sure that there was nothing scraping against her delicate skin. "You fixed my wing, please don't resist," he mumbled, looking at the marks before nodding to himself. "The container I gave you?" he asked, holding out his hand. If she gave it to him he would unscrew the lid, dipping two fingers in the thick ointment. He looked in to her eyes before he started spreading the calming solution. At first it would probably sting a little, but soon a cooling feeling would spread. Once finished he screwed the lid back on, handing it back to her. She had suggested food, but he had clearly seemed to ignore her question, mostly because he didn't feel like eating. He was fairly certain anything coming down would come up again at the simple thought of what had happened tonight. "I think I'll just sleep," he said, his voice sounded pained.

He knew it was dangerous to suddenly change to be out in the open with their relationship, but he just felt such pain in his heart to think that he had to hide what he felt for her. Hearing her plea made him sigh as he ran his thumb along her cheekbone, looking a little down at the water as he frowned, "You wouldnt lose me," he whispered before he looked at her once more - Not really knowing if it would be the truth or not but he wasnt going to let her believe it was all hopeless. He smiled faintly at her words, giving her hand a soft squeeze, "It still feels that way for me," he exhaled a little defeated. He just wanted to give her his all, show off to the world that she was the one that held his heart. But it was all fairy tale thinking, and he knew that deep inside which made it that more bitter.
He nodded at her whisper, leaning in to kiss her lips gently. "If it's really Daniel, then I fear for your safety since he know about us. I wouldnt know if he could keep it secret if he's doing this to harm us," he said a little more serious as he noticed how she was shaking out in the corner of his eye. He grabbed a sponge to dip into the warm water, squeezing it a little before he moved his hand from her cheek to gently grab her arm. He started running the sponge along her arm in calming motions, looking at the sponge move around to make sure he wasnt just running in circles around the same spot. "I may have a chance of persuading them, if I tell them about us before he can," he then said, frowning a little as he washed her arm, not sure if it was a good idea. But what other choice did they really have if Daniel was out to get them?

She felt a little bad as she watched him go for the kitchen, fiddling with the bandage before he returned with pads and took over as he removed the gauze. She just looked at him with sad eyes, contemplating pulling her arm to her as it seemed like he read her mind. She sighed as she let him clean her wound, looking up at his face while she just had rather sad eyes. He had been through hell and he was still trying to care for others. She gave him the container as he asked for it, swallowing hard, wanting to say something, anything. She made a sharp inhale at the stinging, but it wasnt too bad and soon it subsided as the cooling effect kicked in. She grabbed the container as it was given to her, looking a bit down when she realized he had ignored her suggestion. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.
She nodded at his words before she moved away from him. She went to her bedroom to find some spare blankets and what else would be needed, walking into the livingroom as she placed it on the couch to move when he had decided, "Alright, so we have a few options, I have a spare room and a couch... If you dont want to be alone, I can pull in a matress, or we could uhh both sleep in my bed. It's quite big," she threw out suggestions, looking at him as it was really just up to him what he needed.

She knew he meant well, but the thought could be quite scary. Especially when she had seen the aftermath of what the daemons could do. She felt a shiver run down her spine, pure fear wanting to spread and make her freak out, but then he kissed her so gently. She had never felt this loved. The her eyes fell on the sponge, watching it as he seemed to know what to do to her shaking body. It was like watching it calmed her as he rubbed her skin. She sighed in relief as she felt the hot water and bubbles be spread on her skin. She couldn't deny with his logic, but she still couldn't wrap her head around why the lycan was after them like that. And of all things a lycan. She could've understood a vampyre being drawn to the site by the blood, or a daemon obeying orders, but this just seemed out of place. "If you tell them, I want to come with you," she said, turning her green eyes to look at him. Because of him caring for her and knowing that her family knew about him, the fire in her eyes were lit quite strongly. The flames moving to match her fiery personality, but also showing she wasn't taking no for an answer. "I mean, they have to meet me to know that I'm not just here to play games," she mumbled. She still had a hard time understanding the daemon culture, but she had made up her mind almost since meeting Baal, that she wanted to understand. She reached out, touching his cheek gently, frowning as her mind seemed to shift a little. It was slowly realizing what had happened, leaving the shocked behavior behind before her eyes watered. She whimpered as she started crying, tears falling from her eyes as she knew what had happened. Perhaps not to the full extent. "Why," she sobbed, letting go of his face to wrap her arms around her knees, pulling them up as she sobbed, rocking slightly as if it would help calm her down. However she knew it wouldn't. She cried almost uncontrollably, whimpering nonsense and mumbling why as she cried.

Xander sighed at her apology, shaking his head. However he couldn't tell if she was sorry for making him tend her wound or sorry for what had happened tonight. Either way he didn't blame her, and he knew that soon his body would give in. It had been fighting the whole night, trying not to cry, trying to stay strong for those around him. "It sounds like you're apologizing for existing," he mumbled, looking at her with eyes filled with sorrow. "Don't," he said, frowning as he let her walk out to fetch some blankets and pillows. He stood for a while, blinking away tears as he didn't feel ready to break yet. She came back, and he took a deep breath, considering the different options. "No matter how large your bed is, I doubt you would get much sleep next to me; I'll take the couch, that way my wing can be elevated by the back of it," he said. What he really needed was comfort, someone holding him close, but he couldn't ask for that. Not from a stranger, even if he really needed it. Taking another deep breath he looked at the couch, hoping he would even get any rest, however he doubted it. "You deserve a good night's rest for what you've done today; without you I think I would've lost it," he confessed. His eyes were heavy, his face displaying pain and regret, as he moved over to sit on the couch. He looked at her, sending her a sad smile to let her know that he would be fine, though he knew that was a lie. He would have a horrible night, he knew he would sob and go through the events over and over like some messed up tv show.

Buffy nodded, knowing he would have to plan it, however she also knew that she wanted to be there if they were to tell. Once again she was grateful for him being there, especially as she broke down crying. She barely knew herself, she was not weak minded, but this had broken her. Losing her mother and seeing the aftermath was not just a passing memory. She knew she would remember those images forever, tearing at her soul. She let him guide her, sobbing silently. One of those cries you did when you had nothing than pain in your chest that you couldn't even vocalize. She was trying not to breathe too fast, not wishing to hyperventilate. She nodded, sobbing still, as she was guided out of the bath. He lifted her up and soon she felt the calming surrounding of her bed and the duvet. Her hair was still fairy wet, but she didn't care, she just wanted to lay with Baal, cry her eyes out and just feel some sort of safety. As he asked if there was anything she wanted to wear she couldn't even speak, letting him put his shirt on her before snuggling close to him, crying against his chest as she was shaking. She knew she would tire herself out eventually, but for now it was too painful just existing. No longer could she call her mother when she needed advise, she could never tell her how much she appreciated her mother's hard work to make her fit in with the family. But worst of all, she would never get to hear her mother's voice again. Never get to feel one of her warm hugs or hear one of her many stories. All that was gone, cold and stiff as the body might be now. She sobbed against Baal, clinging to him as she feared she would break physically if she let go of him. It took a long time, maybe it was hours, before her sobs subsided, and she entered a restless sleep. A sleep where her nightmares were real, whimpering through the night as her body tried to accept the mental trauma.

Xander frowned, looking down as he felt ashamed even being here. He felt like he was taking advantage of her kindness, taking away her chance to reflect herself and heal from what she had seen. She said his name, but he didn't look up, he kept almost staring at a spot on the floor. Then he felt her hand on his cheek and a tear escaped his eye. Why was she so caring for him? He felt like the worst person in all of Gambion, and here she was telling him that she would care for him. He looked at her, a mixture of pain and gratefulness shining through. He reached out, placing his arms around her and hugged her, hiding his face away as his tears seemed to multiply. "I'm sorry," he whispered in a broken voice. He didn't mean to hug her and hold her close, but his body was craving comfort. Any kind of comfort. He could feel his body a little cold and stiff, but it wasn't too bad. The worst was the coldness he felt inside, the numbness that threatened to take over to make him act normal once more. To block out the pain with not feeling anything and just keep on functioning. "Sorry," he repeated, still holding on to her. He felt scared to let go, scared that she would shun him for grabbing her. Yell at him how he was toxic and didn't deserve the comfort she could give him.

It felt better to have her safe in bed where she could lay in his arms and have some sense of comfort. He wrapped his arms around her to keep her close while she cried. He didnt shush her or try anything to make her stop as he thought it wouldnt have helped much either way. He just comforted her with soft calming strokes of his hands and whispered words of comfort - It's okay to cry, I'm here and whatever else kind of words he could offer to let her know he was with her. He didnt let himself sleep that much, just wanting to calm her down to his best ability till she would find a way to drift off. When she finally stopped crying and seemed to have fallen asleep, he felt how tired he was as well. He hugged her closer, kissing her hair carefully to comfort her in whatever sort of dreamworld she was in that made her whimper. Even if he was slowly drifting off to sleep, a whimper from her would make him almost automatically turn his head to kiss her forehead and whisper in a soothing tone that she was just dreaming. He couldnt tell her that the worst was over, because he wasnt sure it was. She would always be missing her mother and it made his heart ache to know that.

She could tell that he was thinking something bad by the way he looked. She didnt know if it was something with her or what had happened tonight but it wasnt good. So her reaching out to him was just to let him know she was here, because after all, she was the one to invite him into her home - She knew what she was getting into with such an offer to someone who had suffered a hard loss. When he reached out, she wasnt fighting his grip or denying him as he wrapped his arms around her, instead she just placed her own arms around him while she made a deep exhale. His broken tone made her eyes well up as she hugged him closer, placing a hand against the back of his head as she wanted to give him as much of her comfort as she could give. She felt speechless as to how he held her so tight, frowning a little at his sorrow, how he was broken enough to feel the need to have his comfort from a stranger like her. She shook her head at his whisper, feeling her throat quite graveled by the strong emotions, "It's alright," she whispered in a squeaky tone. "Just get it all out," she urged him as she stroked the back of his head, closing her eyes for a second. She would let him stand here in her embrace for as long as he needed, even if it would mean all night. She didnt know why. She just couldnt let him hurt all alone.

Restless sleep was all she could've hoped for after such an event, however her subconscious seemed to understand that she was safe. Her nightmares didn't stop, but with every small whimper, she could hear the words of Baal saying she was alright. And she knew she was in his arms. Slowly she drifted off into a dreamless state, passed out beyond exhaustion so much that her brain had stopped with the nightmares. Cuddling up to him she felt warm, kissing his chin even though she was sleeping. It was simply a clear sign that she felt content in the moment.

Xander just hugged her closer as she said it was alright, crying almost silently as he felt his heart ache. However he also knew he couldn't stay standing like this, his body tired from all the work he had done. And on top of that his wing wasn't really helping much. Sheepishly and slowly he let go of her, sniffling a bit as he almost didn't dare look in to her eyes. Men were supposed to be the strong ones, yet here he was with a stranger, letting out his most dreaded emotions. He frowned, feeling weak, yet oddly relieved that some of his tears had escaped him. It was like it cleansed a bit. "You're a good person, Aiden," he said, feeling himself dizzy from the tiredness. He stumbled a bit forward, letting his body fall on the couch on his stomach. He was lucky that he even hit the couch, but he groaned a bit from how tired he was. He was still crying, no sound, just tears falling from his eyes as he laid there. his wings relaxed against his back, his breathing slowing down. Reality would hit him later, but for now he drifted off in to sleep

He didnt think he got to sleep fully that night, but it didnt matter, for as long as she was hurting he couldnt possibly believe that he would be set for a good night's rest. He was thankful in a way that he hadnt been the one to cause this hurting but he couldnt forgive Daniel for whatever reason, because in his mind it hadnt even thought what the alternative would have been, had Daniel not killed Buffy's mother.
A week had passed and he had tried to be there for her when she needed it, though the daemons at the temple hadnt taken his absence too kindly. He hadnt cared much about them, brushed off their questions with words along the lines of being busy. He hadnt replied to Daniel's calls or allowed the lycan to swing by. He was still so angry. He had picked up a few things for Buffy before he had headed to her place.

Aiden looked at Xander with worry as he let her go, unable to hide her emotions in the matter. She didnt feel like she was doing enough to relieve him of his pain, so when he spoke to her, she sighed and shook her head, "I'm not really," she shrugged off the compliment, watching him as he laid down on the couch. She placed the blanket over him, before she grabbed one for herself, settling for the armchair so she could wake up if he was to wake up from his nightmares and calm him down so he could drift off to sleep again.
A week passed and she had given him her number for him to call her if he needed to hang out or just talk. She wouldnt have minded either, coming over after finishing whatever she would be doing or sit and talk to him over the phone while sorting out things. She had to take care of her work, which was mostly being an assistant at a firm where she was close with her boss, so taking time out of her day to talk to him wasnt that big of a deal.

A week had passed, and together Buffy and Xander had tried putting together a ceremony for the fallen seraphim. Even though Buffy was not a part of the seraphim, her mother was a part of them, and she had been granted special permission to witness the event. However she knew it was only allowed for her because of her direct bloodline. She felt it was fair that Baal couldn't come, seeing as it was a rather sensitive topic, but she would've wanted him there still. She had taken a break from the Institute, gotten excused for a couple of weeks to gather herself before just returning. However she felt like she was doing better every day, what worried her were Xander. He hadn't spoken much, mostly just speaking with the hybrid Aiden, and she felt pushed a bit to the side. Maybe she was just being silly. Everyone coped with death differently, but she still felt a little hurt by the fact that her brother didn't seem to want to talk to her about it. Buffy had asked Baal to come by, mostly because she felt like she needed him in this period more than ever. Even if he couldn't say much to what she was feeling, it was the simple notion that he was there for her that she appreciated. Most nights had been terrible, and she felt bad for Baal missing this much sleep. However the nightmares were slowly subsiding, turning in to dreamless nights. She looked forward to seeing him, having asked him to bring some foods to her apartment, mostly because she didn't feel like going out. It was like the whole city of Gambion knew what had happened that night, and she wasn't in the mood for sad looks.

[Messages between Baal and Buffy]
[Buffy:] Did you remember to fill Juno's food before you left?
[Buffy:] She needs to stay on her A game for when I finally come over

She smiled a little to herself, but there was a part of her that felt guilty for doing that. Smiling. Acting happy. Of course she had mourned, she mourned still, but her mother had always preached about life moving on. It was a mess, figuring out when you were allowed to be happy once more. Buffy hadn't really had much contact with her aunt since that night, only exchanged a few words and no mention of Baal. Sighing she folded together a couple of blankets. Maybe she should have a shower? But then again Baal would probably stop by any moment and she didn't want him to feel like she was just wasting their time together.


Xander had had a rough week, mostly just speaking with Aiden. It was strange. The hybrid seemed to have a calming effect on him, or at least one that made it so he wasn't constantly sad. He had been home, but only briefly greeted Baal when he stopped by. Sometimes he would go for a walk when the daemon came over. It wasn't that he was angry with him, it was more of a need to breathe that seemed to come with having a daemon close. The effect he had on his sister however was nice, she seemed to handle herself relatively well, however he feared the worst. Maybe it was just worry, creeping in to his mind when he least expected it, but he wanted to get to know Baal. A guy who made his sister this happy couldn't be so bad, right? He had decided to call Aiden, hoping she would pick up while he was out walking. He felt almost an itch in his hand as he dialed her number, holding the phone to his ear as he breathed out, his hot breath mixing with the cold air. "Hi, uhm, Ai-dee," he said if she picked up, or else he would simply leave a message. He had started calling her Ai-dee, mostly because he liked the sound of it, and perhaps that was a tad bit silly. "I was wondering if you're free tonight; I kinda wanna invite you over for dinner if you don't have any plans," he said, looking down to the ground as he frowned a little. Xander might've been a genius with making potions and ointments, however he was ridiculously clueless in a kitchen.

He had felt a little nervous when she told him to get some takout for her, since he didnt really eat food like that often, and when he did it all just bore the same taste to him. It wasnt a bad taste, it just wasnt something he could tell apart most of the time. He had just bought some pizza and kept it simple. His phone buzzed as he waited at the pizza place, grabbing it to look at the messages and chuckle lightly. He looked up to see if anyone was giving him dirty looks for smiling at his phone like a goof. He typed a quick reply.

[Messages between Baal and Buffy]
[Baal:] I fear I might be overfeeding her a little too much lately.
[Baal:] She's a little round from all the extra food.

He felt a little guilty for feeding Juno extra food but frankly he worried for her when he was gone from home for longer periods. Sometimes he had just thought he should bring her to Buffy's place since he was there most of the time if he wasnt at the temple. He grabbed the pizza and paid before he left, heading to Buffy's place with the food. He rang the door, sighing shortly to himself. It hadnt been long since they saw each other but he felt like he was already missing her dearly. It was probably because they spent more time together now when they could.


Aiden enjoyed the talks she had with Xander when he called. She especially liked if she was doing something she could tell him about. If it was something simple like cooking, she would tell him how it was supposed to be made. She had been showering as her phone rang in her bedroom while it had been charging. She had gotten out of the shower, dried her hair quickly and wrapped herself before she'd walk to the bedroom with her hair wild and in tangles, dripping a few droplets of water on the floor. She grabbed her phone to gasp as she saw Xander had called not long ago, calling him right away instead of listening to the message. She ran a hand through her wet hair, placing the phone at her ear as she waited for him to pick up, biting her lip a little. If he picked up, she could feel a smile automatically creep over her lips, "Hi, I'm sorry, was in t' shower" she breathed out softly, "I just called right away, so you'll have to recap for me," she said as she moved to grab some clothes to wear. She was just thinking there was something he had wanted to talk about and that was why he called.

Buffy bit her finger as she chuckled a bit to herself before quickly frowning. She tossed herself on the couch, closing her eyes as she felt so conflicted. She was always known as the happy girl, the one that could always smile and laugh. But why did she feel so guilty for doing it, and even before her mother's death ceremony? She sighed, shaking her head, placing the phone on the coffee table, looking up at the ceiling. Maybe she was acting silly as always, but was it not alright to find happiness even in the darkest of times? Could her heart bear to be sad for much longer? She couldn't believe it, not when Baal seemed to provide her the happiness she needed right now. She just laid there, not really thinking about the time before she heard the buzzer, sitting up before she moved to the little control panel. Seeing on the small screen that it was Baal made her smile to herself before she pressed a button to let him in, the door downstairs making a loud buzzing noise. She waited until she heard the knock at the door, opening up to see him, she let him enter, taking the box of pizza to place on the coffee table. Then she walked to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in to a gentle kiss. "Hi," she whispered in a soft voice, looking at his face, touching the faint marks from where the lycan had bit him. Xander had been quite nice about it, even going so far as to give Baal something to put on to make the healing go even faster. "I've missed you," she confessed, continuing in the same soft voice. Her green eyes had gained more flames, but they were still not back to how they were before that night. She had even gone to the temple, checking up with the priestess if it wasn't because her life flame was burning out, but the priestess had denied that; saying that grief sometimes could feel like a part of yourself died. She felt a little relieved. She had finally gotten Baal, having him near without needing to worry too much, besides the prospects of telling his kind. It would be a tough challenge, but one she wanted to do with him if he wished it so. "You don't have to eat the pizza, if you don't want to that is," she ensured him. She knew he thought of human food as bland, but she kind of had to live off of it. She took his hand, looking at his soft sea of grass that was his eyes. Feeling like she could disappear into those vast fields of green and never return.

Xander left a message, not really knowing if she was busy. He suddenly felt a little stupid. What if she was growing tired of hearing him speak? Of course she always seemed interested, but most of the time he rambled off about a new potion he was trying to make, or how he was trying to handle the massive amount of seraphim that needed ceremonies. He couldn't deny that he enjoyed hearing her speak, listening to what she was doing when she was doing it. There was something comforting about it. He saw the phone ringing, making him raise an eyebrow because she couldn't possibly have listened to his message yet. He picked it up, and a smile appeared on his lips as he heard her speak. In the shower? That made sense as to why she wasn't answering, but then again he was reminded of the dream he had had, making him blush slightly. "Uhm, oh, yeah - uhm," he stumbled a bit over his words, trying not to sound stupid. Which he ultimately ended up doing. "I was, uhm, just asking you if you wanted to come by for dinner?" he blurted out, standing under a tree in the park he felt a little self aware. Hopefully people just thought he was yelling at squirrels and not getting nervous of speaking with Aiden. "Only if you don't have plans, of course, but I figured my sister and her ... Her boyfriend was at the apartment, maybe we could get together and just ... Eat?" he said. At the last word he sighed, knocking his head against the tree, closing his eyes. How idiotic could he truly be? He sounded like a complete tool, like a blatant fool.

When he saw her it was like his eyes just lit up with feelings of happiness, entering as she took care of the pizza box, taking off his jacket in the meantime while he felt the warmth of the apartment. He had come to really like being where it was warm because it would remind him of her warmth. She came back and pulled him in, placing his hands on her lower back as he returned her kiss. It always made him smile a little when he got to feel her lips on his, like some sort of calming drug that just instantly eased his mind, even if he didnt really worry. He opened his eyes to look into her eyes, "Hi," he mumbled a little surprised at how she easily filled him with all these emotions.
When Xander had first sorted him with some mixture for the wounds, he hadnt been sure what to think. The nephilim couldnt possibly be doing this for his sake, so it had to be for her sake. They werent really on any terms with each other, they were just sort of accepting that the other was there. "I've missed you as well. Dearly," he replied with a soft spoken voice, as he stroked her back with his thumb. Seeing the flame grow stronger again day by day was something he always looked forward to but at the same time he worried that it could disappear. He chuckled a little at her assurance, shrugging lightly without letting her go yet, "I'll give it a try," he said with a kiss to her forehead before he let her go for her to grab his hand. He entangled their fingers and went into the livingroom, before he turned to her to place a hand on her cheek and lean in to steal a short but tender kiss, "What do you want to do tonight beside enjoying the pizza I brought?" he asked against her lips before leaning away again.

She frowned a little as he seemed to stumble over his words, wondering if something was wrong. She had barely opened her mouth to ask as he blurted out what he had been saying in his voicemail. She raised her eyebrows a little surprised, making a short exhale as she smiled a little to herself. She sat down on her bed with her clothes as she couldnt understand why he seemed so tense and nervous. Had they just been talking casually like they used to, she would have teased him, asked him if he meant that he was asking her on a date, but she was well aware that it probably wasnt the right thing to say. "I would like to eat dinner with you," she quickly added before she had been quiet for too long, frowning a little at herself.
She turned her eyes down to look at her clothes before she flung them away, wanting to wear something that didnt just look worn and old. She got up from her bed before she looked around for a moment, "When and where should we meet?" she then asked. She went to her closet to look at some other clothes that she could wear, feeling herself quite conscious of her choice though she wasnt sure why. She thought that she might just have wanted to look good for the sake of it, it couldnt possibly be that she was trying to impress him. They had talked for a week, it was an absurd thought.

It was amazing how her mood could shift when he was around. Looking in to his eyes and breathing in his scent just did something to her, something she could only describe as feeling of belonging. He warmed not only her body, but her heart as well. Following him in to the living room she couldn't help but chuckle a bit as he stole another kiss, placing a hand against his chest just enjoying it before he pulled away. Her eyes closed as he asked what her plans were, she felt her cheeks fill with a bit of color. "I was thinking of just spending it with you; and perhaps I could persuade you to stay the night," she said in a whisper. She could feel her heart beat faster, mostly because she wanted him to stay for a reason. She wanted them to sleep next to each other where she didn't have nightmares. And if she felt brave enough it might escalate, but she really hadn't decided yet. She looked at him with rather dreamy eyes before she moved to sit on the couch, pulling him with her. She wanted to eat something, but first she wanted to relish this moment together. Pulling him was easy, as he always seemed to want to move with her, so when she laid down, pulling him over her, she couldn't help but smile. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled herself closer to him, letting their lips clash in a tender dance. She just needed a brief moment to let her heart flutter, to feel him close like they both seemed to crave. Breaking the kiss she sighed against his lips, her breathing a bit more hasty as she had felt her body react strongly. Sometimes it could still feel like a dream, that he made her feel this way was incredible. "I just needed a little sweetness before the savory pizza," she whispered, blushing a bit as she felt silly. She knew she didn't have to explain herself, yet she felt like she had to sometimes.

Xander held his breath as she didn't seem to answer right away, hitting his head against the tree once more, holding his forehead against the cold bark for a second longer. As she replied he felt himself breathe in relief. Why all of a sudden did he have to think of that dream? It was just a stupid thought, and he just had to get it out of his mind. She had acted as a true friend, and he wanted it to remain that way while he got to know her more. "I was thinking just at my place? I'll probably order some take out, maybe get a few beers and we could just have a normal night without thinking of ... Well anything bad," he said, frowning at his last words. It felt stupid to say out loud, but he had been thinking a lot. Thinking of how he could perhaps come to terms with Baal if he just spent a night with the guy. However he had a feeling he needed someone else there as well. And putting all the moderation on his sister wouldn't be fair. That's why he thought of Aiden, thinking that she might be there to calm him if something were to happen. He wanted her there and perhaps he didn't realize yet why. He liked her, it was simple enough, but he didn't feel like he could say that when they had only known each other for a week. "I think it would be nice to let loose a little and not really ... think, if that makes any sense?" he said, looking down to the ground. It was starting to be a bit colder now, perhaps because he was standing still, so he decided to walk ahead. He wanted to pick up some drinks before going back to the apartment, but he also didn't feel like he wanted to hang up.

She felt her heart beat faster, her body reacting so strongly to what he did. The way he always seemed to tug at her clothes made her sigh, feeling her core spin a little. She hadn't really been thinking of anything sexual, mostly because being sad didn't really go hand in hand with being in the mood. However the way he moved against her made her realize how she longed for him. Blushing at his words, she felt so giddy and excited. As he moved his hands and subsequently his lips, she couldn't stop a faint moan from escaping her lip, moving her head to give him more room. "I love you too," she whimpered in delight of the loving kisses. She was at his mercy, knowing that she had lost any chance at saying no to him. She just wanted him close. One of her hands moved up to his hair, touching the soft curls and their thick fibers. The other hand moved to his back, holding on to his shirt as she couldn't do anything but drift in to the feeling of his lips against her skin. Buffy's eyes were half closed, in a state of pure bliss as her body slowly started to grind against his. Was it reckless just to be in the living room when she knew her brother was just out for a walk? Perhaps a little, but she had forgotten about where she was. All she felt was him above her, making her feel safe and feeling his lips. "Baal," she moaned feeling her whole body almost itch as she pressed herself closer. She didn't think she would ever feel happy when she had seen her mother on the ground, but having Baal there seemed to ease her pain.

Xander frowned at her question. "I don't think so?" he replied, feeling a bit confused. She had always seemed rather content in her body, and he knew that was perhaps one of the reasons why he had felt that initial attraction to her. "I think you look great," he added, feeling his heart beat faster at just the thought. He knew he liked her, but he still needed time to heal. His wing was getting better, but he still hadn't found the courage to retract it. It would be a pain when he finally did, but then again it would also be a relief. He missed sleeping on his back, even if that sounded a bit trivial. As she suggested he could come by he nodded, before he realized she couldn't see that. "Yeah, I'm rather close, but I'll pick up some drinks before I get to you," he said, smiling to himself. He always looked forward to seeing her, knowing that she was a source of his healing in some way. He told her he'd see her in a bit before he went to the supermarket, buying some different beers and a couple of snacks before he headed to her place. He felt a little nostalgic, thinking of the first night he had spent there, how he had cried and she had been there to comfort him. It was a little embarrassing to think about, but he knew it had also helped her sneak her way in to his heart. He pressed the buzzer.

She could feel how his breath at first haltered, then got heavier, and the way his body seemed to tense made her know she was doing something he liked. The best part was that she liked it as well, just laying on the couch and her acting like the teenager she still was. A soft chuckle left her lips as he said that he was in her palm, feeling that it was one of the best things she had ever heard. She didn't like controlling others, but she knew it meant she had him spellbound in a way. The fact that she had any upper-hand against a daemon was wild enough, but having it with the one she loved just made it that sweeter of a victory. His hand soon moved to her chest, making her whimper, a pleasant feeling running down her spine and pooling in her lower back and subsequently at her core. If he had taken of her clothes she would've barely noticed, because right now her body wasn't exactly working together with her brain. Her body clearly wanted him wishing to be spontaneous, however her brain was thinking rationally, that they had to wait for a better time. As he said what her mind was thinking, yet doing what her body yearned for she let another moan escape, feeling how he pressed himself so close. As he sighed she knew he was going to stop, there was a sadness in her eyes as he pulled her with him. Sitting on top of his lap was always nice, as she could better feel what was going on, however she felt that he was about to deal her a blow. But when he didn't, her eyes softened, placing her hands on each of his cheeks. "I know," she whispered, leaning down to kiss him, moving her hips against his groin a little as she did. Not intentionally of course, but her body was simply craving him at this point. "But there's not going to be any ... connecting, tonight," she said, smiling apologetic at him. Sighing she felt she might as well come clean, because she didn't really know how else to explain. "It's that time of the month,"she mumbled, a little shyly, looking down as she played a bit with his shirt. She knew it was a good thing that her cycle hadn't been broken or messed up by the grief she had gone through, but she just wanted some time with Baal, and then her cycle just had it's scheduled plans. "So, at least give me the grinding and the kisses," she chuckled, looking back at his eyes. She wasn't ashamed of how her body worked, it was more a fact of her wanting to be with him. However she didn't want to enter that territory yet. Swallowing she shook her head a little. "I guess that's why I was in the mood for pizza, I always get rather hungry when I reach this part of the month," she chuckled. She didn't know if he found it gross that she was speaking about it, it was just such a natural part of her own life. She couldn't imaging trying to hide it from him. Then she realized that the pizza was getting cold, placing a warm kiss against his lips before crawling off him. She moved so she was sitting down next to him, leaning forward to open the box, smiling at the simple margarita pizza. Buffy had never been a big fan of pizza, but you couldn't go wrong with cheese on bread with tomato sauce. Picking up a slice, she took a rather sizable bite, chewing as she sighed at the taste. It was nice just to eat something.

Xander smiles as he walked, thinking that people around him must’ve mistaken him for a walking, talking fool. Standing in front of the door he felt a little nervous. He liked her, but he feared that as soon as his grieving period was over, she would disappear out of his life. Like a passing memory that would remain just a list of what-ifs. Xander was not one to just jump in to a relationship of any kind, so the fact that he already considered her a friend was rather big. As she opened the door and he saw her he felt breathless before she wrapped her arms around him. It was almost too brief. He wanted to hold on to her a little longer, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “Hi,” he said, breathing in her scent. It was strange how he took in her being. He was holding two rather heavy bags with drinks and snack, the bottles of beer clinking a bit as he moved in to the apartment, olacing the bags on the floor. He turned around to look at her. He was never usually one to speak much, but the way she looked right now just made his mind explode with thoughts. “Do you want to go right away or?” He asked. She looked ready to go, dressed and her hair sat especially nice today. He wanted to compliment her, tell her she looked beautiful, but he also thought it might come across as distasteful. He swallowed his pride, looking down to his feet. “You look really lovely today,” he said, feeling colour creep in to his pale cheeks. Hopefully it would just blend in with the redness from the cold.