Healing isn't always easy | Eden

For @Eden

This had been an experience for sure. At least so far. Romeo had found out he had a lot of rules regarding food, he had started to slowly understand what happened in him when he struggled with eating. But the journey was still ongoing. He saw Eden every week, or every other depending on the visiting times. When they couldn't see one another, they would usually call and chat for a long while. He missed him a lot. It was hard to be without him when he felt like he had finally gotten him back.
He was sitting in the therapists office, looking out at the garden outside. Sometimes he wondered if it was on purpose that this office overlooked the garden. It probably was to calm down the patients. It at least worked for him. "Tell me what went through your head yesterday at the incident," the therapist said, trying to encourage the lycan to speak, but it seemed the mention rather made him shut up more. He looked down, feeling like such a failure. "What ever you are feeling is okay to feel, Romeo, you are allowed to feel sad about what happened," she said in a calm tone. Romeo actually really liked this therapist. She wasn't demeaning or trying to make him feel ashamed. In fact she was a really good listener.
"I, uh," he said, sniffling a bit as he felt ashamed even more because he wasn't sure where to begin. He had been doing so good! He had been on the right path and he was actually gaining some weight. "I feel like I've let everyone down," he said, scratching the inside of his hand with a very short nail. "Why do you feel that?" she asked, tilting her head and adjusting her glasses slightly. Romeo took a deep breath, trembling a bit, "because I just .. I couldn't eat the food .. It was all wrong," he said, shaking his head. "What was wrong about it?" - "Everything! The way the meat was cooked, how the vegetables were cut and they put on too much of that sauce I don't like," he felt his stomach churn just by thinking about it.
The therapist hummed, not judging but just listening as she nodded. "Well I think it's fair you didn't want something you didn't like," she said, her lips pulling up in a smile. "But I'm supposed to eat it! That's why I'm here, right? To learn how to eat again and be normal," he protested, shaking his head no as he couldn't believe what she was saying. She however got up, walking around her desk and opening a drawer, pulling out a can of beer. She came over, placing the beer in front of him on the table between them. He frowned, looking from her to the can and back to her. Alcohol wasn't allowed here, and he wondered why she even had it.
"Many would say that eating disorders are perhaps a complicated problem, with a simple solution to just start eating again," she said, picking her notes back up as she looked from the papers and to the lycan sitting across from her clearly confused. "However I see it more as an addiction; Like perhaps alcoholism," she was using broad terms right now, but it seemed like the young man understood her just fine. "Like any addiction it's strong, and chronic, and vexing; But worst of all it defies rehabilitation. Romeo looked at the can again, this times his eyes a little softer.
"Are you saying I won't get better?" he asked, feeling more hopeless now after all of that. His therapist shook her head, her eyes kind as she looked at him more closely, "I'm saying that people struggle with addiction, they fall off the wagon and return to their habits, but to really conquer your addiction you must stay vigilant." Romeo looked at the can, not sure if he knew what to say, but it seemed she kept speaking which was sorta nice. "Sure, you might slip up; Every one does that now and again, and it's okay as long as we remind ourselves that we just pick ourselves up again and do right by ourselves," she hoped this message was being understood by the young lycan, "but it's also good to be kind to yourself when you do slip up." Romeo shook his head, "how is being kind to myself going to make me get better?" He was clearly confused, but his therapist was patient, "when we are kind to ourselves, we tend to relax and let ourselves heal from what is happening around us."
Her little timer went off, and Romeo sighed, knowing what it meant. She summed up their talking points, urging him to go work on what they had spoken about. The lycan got up, and had actually been able to walk around pretty good since getting here. He still wore his ring around his neck in his necklace. He knew Eden was coming today, so he went to his room to take a shower, just trying to make himself look more presentable. At least they didn't have to wear like some medical outfits here.

After the shower he checked himself carefully in the mirror. He was supposed to say three good things about himself whenever he did as to steer his mind away from negativity. "Alright, good thing number one; My hair looks good after the hairdresser," he had been allowed to go get his roots fixed and his hair now looked almost silvery which he really liked. He took a deep breath, looking at himself, "I'm clean and freshly shaven, which is nice." Yeah he wasn't really a fan of having facial hair. It always itched so much. "Number three .. My eyes are pretty." After that he needed a second to look away before he looked back, noticing how he was looking a bit better than at first glance. Maybe this stuff actually worked.
He was called upon when Eden arrived, making his way over to the guest area. He felt excited to see him despite his slip up yesterday. He wanted them to do something, maybe go somewhere if the doctors saw it fit. He was still wearing rather baggy clothes, though his pants were tight like he liked them. Touching the ring around his neck he felt a little giddy, waiting for Eden to come inside. As soon as he would, Romeo would practically run to him, almost jumping into his arms as he hugged him close. Sometimes he wondered how they looked. Perhaps like two magnets being drawn together, or a fusion of atoms? He wasn't sure, but as soon as he felt Eden's scent surround him he felt at ease once more. "Hi," he muttered against his cold neck, pressing his lips to his skin, not really wanting to let go just yet. It at least felt way too good right now.

Finally being with him, feeling how his arms engulfed him and hearing how he breathed him in made his stomach flutter. They said that absence made the heart fonder, and Romeo felt that to be so true. Being away from Eden he had realized just how deep his love was for the vampyre. How much he needed him in his life. The remark made him scoff, touching a strand of his hair as he couldn't believe his bleach filled hair smelled good - though he had taken care to wash it out well and use a good shampoo. Giggling softly at how the vampyre seemed to press his nose to his skin made him blush. his blood circulation had gone back to relative normal. He was at least warm like he used to at this point and his blush wasn't splotchy.
The question made him hum but he had already thought out a plan. "Well I've been cleared to go out today," he was a bit surprised by that seeing as he had slipped up yesterday, but he was improving a lot. Eden could at least be able to feel he had a bit more substance to him, not that he wanted to be commented on it. "I thought .. Maybe we could go on a date?" he suggested, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. Of course Eden had never been one to turn him down in his suggestions, in fact he sometimes wondered if the vampyre could even say no to him. His hands moved up, touching his cold cheeks before pulling him down in a loving kiss. He felt eager to get out of here. Just to feel the fresh air against his skin and be close with the man he loved.
"I just need to sign out and then we can go?" he smiled against his lips. How he had missed him. Even though there wasn't far between he came to visit, it was a stark difference to living together. He longed for him, even reaching out for him in his sleep. It was hard for him to wrap his mind around it at times. If he agreed, Romeo would just go ahead, talking to one of the nurses who noted his name down on a list. Returning he took the vampyre's hand, entangling their fingers as he was so eager to just get out of here, even for a little while.

"You'll see," he smiled, typing in the address. Leaning back in his seat he let Eden drive, though he couldn't help himself from reaching over, touching the fabric of his pants. He had missed him so much; In fact so much that he struggled to express it. "My therapist says I'm doing good," he said, and while he didn't want to make this about his healing, he did want to keep him updated. He felt giddy being out, looking out at the world passing them by, however his gaze always wandered back to the vampyre by his side. "I've been talking to her about letting me get a weekend out of the facility," he said, touching the fabric, pinching it a bit between just rubbing his thigh a bit. Was he weird for finding it so comforting? Just touching what he wore, telling his mind that he was really there with him.
Romeo knew that Eden was a good driver. He trusted him completely in regards to their safety, but it didn't change his train of thought. His hand moved up, gritting his teeth as he touched his belt. "I've really missed you," he said, not wanting to cry but he did feel himself well up with emotions. It was hard being away from him. But his progress was proof that he had needed this. Leaning over he kissed his shoulder, nuzzling his nose against his shirt. Breathing him in he just closed his eyes, not even caring about the world anymore. The almost silent noise of the engine filling the cabin, unless the radio was playing too of course. It was just calming him down to be close to him. "I want to try today," he admitted. They hadn't spoken much about sex, mostly because Romeo struggled with showing himself naked when he felt so estranged to his own body. "I miss you."

Romeo rolled his eyes, as if Eden didn't already know he would spend it on him. "I was thinking of a small getaway for the two of us?" he suggested, just keeping close to the vampyre as it made him feel so good. "Maybe we could go to our town and look at where we want to get married? Get that crystal for our rings?" he was full of ideas how to spend that weekend. He felt strong now, like he could face anything but perhaps he was also feeling that because getting out was a huge thing for him. He hadn't felt trapped as much as he had felt a need to go out for a little while. Of course they couldn't force him to stay, but he knew it was in his best interest to do so.
The assurance made him smile, but the admittance made him blush. It was crazy how little it took these days, but they had always had a very physical relationship. The car was pulled over and as Eden turned to greet his lips he moaned softly in surprise, letting their kiss deepen into a small make out session. He unbuckled his belt, crawling over to sit down on Eden's lap. They were parked anyways, so there wasn't any real danger. He was panting softly, licking and kissing his lips as he felt his heart go crazy. It felt crazy too. They had done risky things together before, but this was rather public and not at all hiding away. He was just happy that the windows were tinted.
"I love you," he muttered softly, nuzzling their noses together as he took the time to just breathe for a little while. His hands moved from the vampyre's shoulders and up into his dark brown hair, scraping his fingertips against his scalp. His stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies as he certainly felt exhilarated by what they were doing.

Having been so low in weight he had struggled a lot with his bodily functions. His testosterone levels hadn't been good, but they were slowly going back to somewhat normal. Though there were other problems with it as well, one of them being he still struggled with his erections. However he felt quite turned on right now, which he felt was actually a relief. He could feel Eden grasping at his shirt, and he loved how he had respected his rules about not really dipping under it. He felt safe this way. "Eden," he moaned quite vulnerably, pressing his chest to him, wanting to be as close as he could, tilting his head to the side and relishing in the kisses on his neck. He had always felt that the cold lips against his own warm skin was like fire. Not a bad one, but sorta like placing an ice cube against ones skin on a warm summer day.
His fingers grasped softly at his hair, pulling the vampyre's face away from his neck only to lean down and connect their lips again. They were a bit messy, weren't they? Romeo at least felt their mixed saliva all over his lips and chin. But it was so worth it. "Should .. Should we get a room somewhere or ..?" he asked, looking to the back seat of Eden's car. There was more than enough space for them, right? It felt almost silly that he was suggesting this, but he also felt like he had neglected Eden's needs. Of course the vampyre was patient with him, but part of the lycan feared that if they didn't at least try then Eden might get driven mad or something. They clearly both needed to let off some steam.

"I don't really know what I'm comfortable with anymore," he admitted. Through this journey he had had to confront himself about a lot of things. Of course a slew of doctors had tried to pin a diagnosis to him other than his eating disorder, but he had refused it every time. He needed to focus on one thing at a time. "But .. could I .. keep my shirt on?" It was practically like a comfort blanket. He still felt a bit ashamed of how he looked, but that was perhaps stemming from the fact that Eden always called him beautiful. And he didn't feel very beautiful. He could feel how turned on Eden really was, and he loved feeling that between his legs.
"And maybe we should park somewhere more secluded?" he suggested. He didn't want the police to come by and interrupt their time together. The remark felt good, groaning softly at how the vampyre's teeth dragged at his lower lip. It felt good. He even felt himself more turned on than he had felt in a while. His breath being caught a bit in his throat he shook his head, looking down, "I changed my mind .. I want a room," he muttered, feeling a bit ashamed to admit it. He was just too in his head about others possibly seeing him, and he wanted to just be with Eden. He couldn't imagine anything else than just the two of them.
If Eden agreed, he would crawl over back in his seat, strapping himself in and letting the vampyre drive them to someplace near where they could rent a room. Was it silly that this was what they used Romeo's newly found freedom on? Not if you asked the lycan. He missed having the freedom to just do whatever he wanted, especially with the man he loved. Sure they had been able to make out and sneak a few kisses at the facility, but he had been a bit too self-conscious about the possibility on someone interrupting them for one reason or another.

At least it felt good to be assured of his choices. Getting back in his seat he couldn't really get himself to let go of Eden. It was like he craved that connection, so he just hand his hand on his thigh as the vampyre found a decent motel. They weren't strangers to getting a room as they had been sneaking around a lot, but this was different. Romeo almost wished they could go home, but he didn't know if he even would feel at home at the mansion. That was why they had spoken of getting a place together, wasn't it?
The question made him snap back to reality, noticing how they were standing at the small greeting desk at the motel as the manager found a room key for them. His hand moved down fiddling with the edge of his own shirt, almost as if he wasn't sure what to say. He would have to think about it for a bit, and the manager soon came to show them to their room. She was kind enough to tell them about the facilities, but Romeo wondered if she was even aware of what they were planning to use the room for. Either ways they were shown to the room and shown how to unlock and lock the door before she bid them a nice stay, though her eyes did linger on both men for a second.
Romeo sighed as they were left alone, looking around as he inspected the place. Though it wasn't the nicest place they had been to, at least it was clean and relatively modern. Going to Eden, he reached his hands up, cupping his face between his palms as he just took the time to look at him. "I have such a beautiful husband, huh?" he muttered sweetly, his lips pulling up in a smile. Being with him made him feel at ease, but he also felt nervous about what they were about to do. He wanted to do this. He longed to feel filled up by the only person he truly cared about.
Standing up on his toes, he greeted his lips rather tenderly, feeling how his heart started to beat faster. It was a good feeling. One that he couldn't get from anyone but him. "Can I undress you?" he whispered, needing to take things slow and ask a lot. He hoped it wasn't too off putting for the vampyre to go this slow.

He could feel the uncertainty in Eden so clearly, but Romeo had made up his mind about this. He needed to feel that they still could do this. And feeling stronger as the days passed by, he really didn't have much patience. He helped Eden out of his sweater, being faced with his bare skin his fingers moved over it, gritting his teeth at how good it felt. "I'm not going to break," he told Eden, feeling how careful he was with how he grabbed him, "I'll tell you if there's something I don't like .. honesty." That was the thing with them. Despite everything, honesty was at the top of their list of ways to communicate. As long as they were honest, then he felt safe. Leaning in he placed a trail of kisses over the vampyre's chest, his head moving down. Opening his mouth, he licked Eden's nipple carefully, groaning softly as he hooked onto him, sucking it tenderly as his hands moved down to undo his belt.
Romeo's mind was racing, a bit scared but also feeling really good about this. Maybe the nerves stemmed from the fact that in order to do this he had to let go of his control. And that was easier said than done. Making sure the belt was unbuckled, he zipped the pants open, sliding them down. He however didn't let go of his nipple, instead just letting the pants pool on the floor as his hands explored the vampyre's skin rather tenderly. Eventually his hand moved down, cupping Eden's member over his underwear. It was at this point he had to unhook his lips from his nipple, panting and moaning softly as he felt him up. He felt his eyes a bit fluid, but he wasn't crying. It just felt so good. And he felt normal for the first time in a while.
"Eden," he moaned softly, "can you undress me too?"

He felt a bit nervous as Eden's hands moved down his shirt, but the vampyre seemed to move right on to his pants and it made him feel a bit better. He was showing his excitement as well, groaning softly as he felt almost sensitive everywhere. His pants was eventually opened and the admittance made him smile. "How could I ever forget how to touch you?" he replied. No, being with Eden it was so easy and yet so thrilling. He felt like he knew everything about the vampyre, and yet every time was a new experience. He hoped it would always be like this.
His hand dipped down under the underwear, his breath haltering as he felt his member more clearly now. Had Eden always been this big? He wasn't sure he could recall, but it didn't feel scary at this point. He knew they would fit together as always.
"I want to taste you," he whispered, licking the otherwise unattended nipple, pinching it between his front teeth, groaning softly. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to whisper. Perhaps because it made it feel more intimate. If he followed his lead, he would guide Eden over to the bed, helping him out of his pants and getting out of his own. He rode down the vampyre's underwear as well, removing them completely if that was what he wanted. He kept his own on. For now.
Kneeling down between his legs, his hands grasped at the cold thighs, wanting to feel every part of him, just testing the waters of what he could do. While he didn't feel completely back to full strength, he did feel strong enough for this. Kissing along his inner thigh he moaned softly, taking it painfully slow even for himself, but he wanted to relish in the moment for a little while. He smiled, remembering a fond memory, "do you remember when I used my mouth on you while you had to speak to that receptionist?" He didn't feel back to his bratty self, but there was a hint of a tease there, wasn't there? "I want you to be as loud as you can this time around .. I want to hear your voice echo in my head for the rest of the week," he said, poking his tongue out to lick along his member. He was heaving a bit, feeling rather excited. Just then he let Eden in between his lips, letting him feel just how warm and wet the inside of his mouth truly was just for him. Moaning against his length he took it slow still, just feeling how far he could take him before he slowly but surely started to bop his head.

He answered the vampyre's sweet plea, his eyes moving up to look at him as his hands grasped at his thighs. It felt too good. Feeling how Eden was basically handing himself over like this made Romeo feel loved. And then he heard the sweet compliment, his heart beating faster as he had missed hearing his voice like this. Seeing how Eden even struggled to keep his eyes open from the pleasure alone, and yet did it to look at him. It felt amazing. Completely and utterly perfect.
Taking him in a little deeper, letting him feel the back of his mouth and just the top of his throat he started moaning. He was trying to moan his name, the name of the man he was pleasing right now, but he wasn't sure how well that came across. However that didn't really matter as long as he felt good about this. His mouth was watering a lot, slurping and even letting some saliva spill from his lips and down on the floor, making a small pool. He felt so aroused. His mind fogging up at how good this felt that one hand let go of Eden's thigh, moving down to rub his hand over his bulge. He hadn't felt like this in a while.
Dipping his hands under, he started touching himself, just matching the speed with which he was going on Eden. He moaned, hollowing his cheeks for the vampyre's pleasure, sucking and licking just how he remembered he liked it. It wasn't something easily forgotten. His shoulders started to tremble a bit, his eyes fluid and dilated with pleasure as he kept bopping his head. He wanted to prove to himself that he still got it in him; That he knew how to please the love of his life with every part of him. "E..ee..n," he moaned against his length, pressing him further in, relaxing his throat just to feel all of him slip inside.

His husband. His husband. He felt so proud whenever Eden said something like that. It made him feel so loved and needed, and truly he knew no other amazing feeling in the world. The admittance didn't surprise him, mostly because he could feel just how he was edging closer and closer. It was actually very reassuring, that even with their time apart they could still drive each other mad with need. Not to mention fulfill one another's desires. He gave it his all, releasing his own member, focussing solely on the vampyre's needs and as he finally spilled over into his mouth he moaned. The taste and smell of Eden like this really got him going. He was about to swallow, but never got the chance to as he was pulled up from the floor. Their lips crashing and while Romeo had tried his best, Eden's seed slipped out of his mouth, running down the lycans chin and throat, making a mess on his shirt.
He was panting as well, getting out of his underwear to just crawl up to sit in his lap. He needed to feel him close. Needed to feel his skin. In a fit of frustration he got rid of his shirt too, almost forgetting what he had said earlier as he pressed their chests together. Moaning against his lips his arms moved around the vampyre's back, his fingertips digging into his skin as he felt so needy. "E-E..de..n," his voice a little hoarse but his plea was genuine, "t-t-to..uc..h..m-me..e," He had completely let go right now in this moment of need and reconciliation. Finally being with the man he loved, feeling his needs and desires through his fingertips. His own erection was still standing rather painfully and needy between them. He needed release too, but whether Eden wanted to jerk him off or perhaps start preparing him for his member was his own choice. He just needed his touch. Everything he needed only from the vampyre.

Romeo felt like all of his worries were gone for now. Perhaps because he felt so intoxicacted by the feeling of their chests together that he didn't even have time to think about how scrawny he probably looked. His necklace between them, feeling the cold metal against his skin as the ring was pressed between them. The question made him nod and rather eagerly at that, however he hadn't expected him to do both at once. He moaned vulnerably, even drooling a bit as he nodded at the request. Yes, of course he would cum for him. Anything for his Eden. His husband.
He felt rather sensitive already, but the vampyre seemed to understand that they still had to manage their tempo. Taking things slow before building on top of that foundation. He moaned and panted, feeling how Eden so effortlessly pleased him from both ends. It was a beauty to behold as he looked at Eden, sitting under him like this, stroking him so perfectly that he could do nothing but moan his name in his hoarse voice. Sometimes he worried that saying the vampyre's name would lose its meaning, but it always gave him butterflies in his stomach to say.
"Ah .. hah .. E-e-de-n," he stammered, feeling how the bottom of his core muscles tensed up as he was edging closer. He hadn't felt this way in so long, and being on edge already was a little embarrassing to him. However for now he couldn't think that way. Not wanting to ruin the moment he moaned as he accidentally moved his hips, causing Eden's finger to slip inside of him. His eyes rolled into the back of his skull, his jaw falling open as it only took a few more pumps for the lycan to give in and spill over.
He was panting for a while, his high almost blinding him as he felt like he hadn't seen stars like that since the visit to their town. Everything was about ownership to them, wasn't it? His husband; their town; their love. Oh how he relished in his pleasure right now, feeling his body twitch a little as he slowly came back to reality. His eyes half-lidded, searching for the calming blue green ones that made him feel all tingly inside and was safe to him.

Eden just knew how to drive him crazy, didn't he? Well he hadn't expected any less from the man he loved, that was for sure, however seeing how he licked the cum off of his hand made him blush. He wasn't embarrassed about it, but perhaps it was just the rush of blood as he felt so many tingles from watching it happen. The compliment made him smile, following his gaze as he was urged to do so. Seeing the mess he had made and how Eden wasn't afraid to mess around with it just made him feel good. However as Eden was about to move his hand down to his entrance, Romeo stopped him. He didn't say anything, just dragged the fingers over his chin to catch some of the leftover cum from Eden's endeavors in his mouth. When it was all done he let the vampyre return, moaning as the fingers just slipped inside without a problem. It probably also helped that he had just given in to his euphoria, his body thoroughly relaxed and primed for what happened next.
"Hah .. mmhm .. ah," he wasn't afraid of being vocal as Eden's fingers slipped in and out of him so easily. Just the thought of their shared seed mixing inside of him was riling him up again. "R-r-r..igh..t-t-t..th-e..re," he moaned, his hips moving to greet the fingers, feeling his prostate getting teased by the vampyre's fingers. He loved the start contrast of when the fingers went in cold and got warmed up by him. It made him more eager in a way he couldn't describe. "Hah..m-m-my..hus..b..ban..d-d," he moaned for him, keeping his eyes on the vampyre. He must've looked a mess, he thought, droll and dried up cum on his chin, his hair a mess and his cheeks all red from need. They hadn't been together like this before he ran away. It just felt like they were finally reuniting. Making up for lost time. "Ah..m-m-my..ri-ing," he moaned, reaching up he took the necklace off, placing the ring on his finger. It was still a bit loose, but the chain helped keep it in place. He wanted to wear his ring if they were going to be together like this. It only felt right.