Going through changes

"Sure a walk sounds fine. Do you want to go out in the garden again?" he asked, still rubbing her back in a gentle motion. Depending on what she wanted, he offered his hand for her to take. Entangling their fingers he let her decide the speed they were walking, most because he didnt want to tire her out right away. "I think the weather is actually good today. At least it was earlier when I checked," he said, which felt a little weird to say. He remembered when they were outside every day, even in Auvandril. Here they were pretty much not allowed outside unless it was somewhere where they could be monitored.

Watching him she understood more clearly what he wanted. But why now? Then he went over to the table, saying words that she had dreaded hearing, but also knowing that they were bound to be spoken. She could feel it, but it was a different way for her. For as he got weaker, she got stronger. Perhaps it was something to do with the balance, that if on got weaker, then the other compensated? Maybe that was what had happened to the Abyssus so long ago? She walked over to him, placing her hand over his marked one, searching his eyes. "We have time, we just need to stay focused," she said, pain in her eyes, but she knew she had to be strong for the both of them. He had done so much already, but they still had some time to go before it was over. "We'll both see this through ... Now we'll need to have a plan, because the temple is very much guarded," she said. Trying to focus on making a plan might be better for them in the long run.

He suggested the garden, and she nodded, feeling their fingers entangled made her smile. Even through all of this, he was the one to put a smile on her face. "I miss our walks outside," she confessed, but going out in her state wasn't good. Leaning her head against his shoulder she sighed, looking up at him with soft eyes.
In her eyes he was her whole world, and the time spent away from Connor had made the connection weaker. Amos really was the one she had chosen. "You mentioned that day on the beach," she said, just smiling and looking up at him. "I want to do that again this summer," she said, knowing it was stupid to talk as if summer would ever arrive. She just needed to think of life in simple terms.

He could see the pain in her eyes and he really wanted to say something that would soothe her mind. But he couldnt think of something in that manner, at least not for the time being. There was just too many things that needed their full attention than comforting thoughts. "You're right, it's not going to be easy. We will need alliances and people on our side," he agreed before he looked at the map. He let his eyes wander around the map for a bit before he sighed. "How much do you believe we could rely on the seraphim as an ally in this?" he asked. Because he had never known with the seraphim. They were willing to defend themselves, but they had never really been aggressive and hostile towards the daemons, at least in the stories.

Nodding at her confession, he couldnt really put a word on how much he missed just being free. But it was good to see that she could still smile. It was like not seeing her smile could break his heart all alone. He glanced down at her, letting go of her hand to wrap his arm around her instead, walking like that instead. She spoke of his mention of the beach and as she said she wanted to do it again, he sent her a soft smile. "Of course. We'll go and bring T.J and everyone else too," he assured her. It was better to stay optimistic, at least for her sake more than anything. "When this is all over, I'm gonna tell everyone about us," he said in a sure tone, pulling her a little closer as they walked.

"Hmmm," the light hummed, looking at the map as she thought the question through. It was hard to tell. But somehow she knew that she could convince Xander - mostly because of Aiden. If she could guarantee that Aiden could gain some freedom from all of this, then her brother wouldn't hesitate. "Our biggest hindrance might be my aunt - She's rather compelling, and most seraphs I know listen to her guidance," she said. Leona wasn't a fighter, unless it was necessary. But then again, she was rather annoyed with daemons of any kind. "But maybe I could convince her ... She listens to reason and she has always been the logical one." It wasn't a safe bet to hope for the aid of the seraphim, but it could be a possible choice. As long as they had at least a handful to help then it would be fine.

Speaking about the beach just made her happy. He wrapped his arm around her, but she kept resting her head against his torso, mostly because she felt a little tired already. But she was not going to waste her time taking a nap when she had Amos here with her. However the mention of telling everybody made her nervous. "A-amos, b-but," she whispered, already worrying. T.J. knew about them being siblings, right? And what about her side of the family? What wouldn't her aunt say? Did she know they were related? Saoirse had to stop herself from walking, leaning against him as she was trying to breathe and not have a panic attack right then and there.

The thought of her going to her family for help wasnt exactly a soothing thought because the last thing he wanted was to involve the people she had close to her heart. "I'm sorry for troubling you like this," he said sincerely, looking up at her even with dull unemotional eyes it was clear that he wasnt liking this. They just needed the extra help from someone they knew that they would trust. Or at least one of them. Because Baal very much doubted that her family would trust him now or ever for that sake. "It's going to be a complicated plan. And some priests will have to die as they'd protect it with their life," he pondered, grabbing a pen to draw a few circles that would be assembly points around the temple.

He heard her whisper and looked at her a little confused. Was what he was saying a bad thing? Wasnt this what they wanted, to be free as in fully free? He stopped with her and wrapped his arm around her close. "Speak to me, what's on your mind?" he asked, because he knew she was panicking. He just didnt know where to start if it had been his words. Was it really that bad? "I wont do anything that will make you react like this," he then said, rubbing her back carefully to calm her down.

"You wouldn't ask this of me unless it was important," she simply replied. It was strange. Sometimes it felt like she could see the real him emote beneath his otherwise stoic expression. Or maybe it was just because she knew him so well. Watching the map she nodded at his words. While casualties were a given, she hated the thought of anyone dying. But then again, the light within her told her not to worry, as where they would end up wasn't going to be torture forever.
"I'll have to go find a way to make contact with my aunt then," she pondered. It wasn't going to be easy, especially as she had did her very best to be in hiding. And revealing herself might open up some raw emotions that she didn't allow herself to feel. "I don't want her to know of everything yet ... My changing might be too startling to her," she remarked, looking at her hands for a while as she thought it all through.

Saoirse felt scared, mostly because hiding had been all she had ever known. And her mother and father, even if she couldn't stand them right now, she would always feel the need for their approval in some way. "I'm just very scared," she admitted, frowning as she looked up at him. Wasn't it a bit obvious? "I'm already shunned for what I am ... I don't want to be shunned for who I love too," she whispered. It wasn't that she wasn't proud to call Amos hers, but when you had gone through the most of your relative short life always being pushed aside or nicknamed freak, it was just hard to see the positives that being together freely would give.

It was true that he wouldnt have asked if it wasnt because it was necessary. He let her ponder in peace, but then she spoke of not wanting to reveal just everything. He made a small nod because he could see the point in it. "Well which part do you not want to disclose? We might be able to find some way to work around it," he said as he kept his eyes on the map, watching her from the corner of his eye. It was probably difficult with the changes she had gone through to decide which part. They didnt even know whether she was daemon or something else yet.

"It's okay to be scared," he assured her because he couldnt see a point to tell her not to. She was a trybrid after all and as she whispered about her origin and not wanting to be shunned, he just nodded and pulled her closer, leaning his head down on top of hers as he made a small smile. "I'm sorry, it was rash of me to say all of a sudden," he admitted, lifting his head to place a hand on her face to make her face him. He smiled softly at her and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "I shouldnt ever just be rash with you ahuvati shelli, and that was wrong of me," he said with a shake of his head, kissing her forehead a couple of times. "I dont want you to be upset now,"

"Well my eyes for a start ... It was the first thing that Saoirse noticed," she said in a ponder. Could she go with just some colored contacts perhaps? But what about her flames? It was all just one big headache. Even if they solved that, then it was the question of her body heat. Her aunt would no doubt pull her in to a hug, but that would give away her change as well. "I guess we could try with some contacts and maybe sunglasses?" she suggested, but it wasn't a bulletproof plan. She just hoped that she wouldn't get turned away. Deep down she knew she wasn't a daemon, mostly because she didn't have any need for souls. But then again she wasn't really eating. It was just a whole weird scenario.

He pulled her closer and it seemed to calm her, but her mind was still racing and her chest was hurting a bit. She had fought for so long to be with Amos, and yet when it came down to it she was just a coward, wasn't she? "I'm upset because they'll never really understand what you mean to me," she mumbled, reaching her hands up to cup his face. It was clear she was still scared, but she also knew that some day she would be ready to step out of the shadows. "But even so, part of me do want to just belt it out; Let them judge us for whatever reason they might have," she confessed. She loved Amos, she knew that without any doubt in her mind, but with that also came the fear of hurting or losing him in some way.

Blinding her? She hummed softly as she thought it through. It was risky, wasn't it? Even if it was done correctly, so many things could happen if she was unable to see anything. But then again, maybe that was just what they needed to gain the sympathy and understanding of her family. It was a tricky situation. "I wouldn't say I like the idea," she said, looking thoughtfully in to the air as she thought everything through. But seeing as she couldn't come up with anything better, then it was perhaps their only option. "I guess I might as well do it now, get used to it and all that," they wouldn't have much time for her to adjust, but maybe it would be fine.

Alyssa had always been supportive of them, but she found it hard to read her parents on this part. Her father seemed apprehensive to say anything and her mother seemed to not want to think or talk about it. It sorta felt like a out of sight out of mind situation. He started spelling out the day they would have on the beach and she felt her eyes water with happy tears. "We could do that?" she just said, but she knew the answer, it was just hard to grasp. She pulled his face down slightly, stepping up on her toes as she leaned in and pressed her lips to his in a gentle peck. She knew they weren't supposed to get her riled up in any way shape or form, but it was an innocent kiss, right? "I want to try that," she finally agreed. A real couple? It seemed so far fetched, but it also made her so happy.

He let her think it through because in the end it was something that had to be done to her and she would be the one to feel the pain and the loss. He wasnt going to pressure her because he surely liked it as little as he seemed to. "As for the warmth, you should wear thicker clothes, even if it might be a little uncomfortable," he said, looking at her for a bit before he turned his attention back to the map. "There should be a healer who'll know what to do about your sight," he said, clearly urging for her to do it herself. It would just feel more like it was because she had decided it and that was how it should be. He didnt know whether she wanted him to be there with her or just get it over with.

Her happy tears made his grin widen as he nodded at her to confirm. They could definitely do that, he didnt doubt it one bit. He let her pull at his face and leaned down to greet her lips with his. He pressed her a little closer to let her know he was enjoying it. Her agreement made him chuckle and rub their noses together. "Good. I'm expecting you to do your best to at least get well enough for us to go to the beach then," he said, lifting a hand to gently touch the side of her head. "You've been so strong the last couple of days. I think it will only get better day by day," he said, so sure in tone. He let go and wrapped his arm back around her, seeing that they still had much to see in the garden before she would eventually have to go back. He just knew he would be by her side every step of the way.

Buffy knew what she had to do, but she couldn't do it just yet. She took Baal's hand, lifting it off the map even if he was busy. She knew she was going to see him again, but in case something went wrong she just wanted one last gaze. Lifting his hand, she kissed his fingers gently, looking at his face, taking in his features. How his hair had gotten too long and his curls were unruly at this point, being dragged down by gravity. Her eyes then met his, a smile appearing on her face as she just spent a little time being selfish. She knew she shouldn't, but who could really blame her. "Come and pick me up in a couple of hours, then I'll be ready to face my family," she said softly. She didn't want him to see her get blinded, it wouldn't be helpful for either of them. "I'll go by myself, but I can only trust you to send me off," and maybe it was also to be selfish yet again. Just to have him a bit to herself in the time they had left together. With that she went off. They say that the first step is always the hardest to take, but why did her feel heavy all the way?
After the healer had done her work, Buffy was shaking a little on the table she had been placed on. It had been painful, that was for sure, but she could manage it somewhat. Sitting up she felt disoriented, the world having no real substance. The only thing that existed right now was this table she was sitting on and the healer she could hear walk around. Her eyes had been blinded just finely, and according to the healer it would be no problem getting her vision back once she returned to her. Pushing herself off the table, she was afraid she was never going to touch the ground, but she did. The room felt like it was spinning, but she couldn't even see the room. A couple of the healer's workers came in, assisting her in putting on clothes, and she had never felt fabric like this before. The extreme way that texture felt to her fingers, and the slight ringing she had in her ears from listening so hard was not really helping her.

The first few days had been hell. She had bumped in to things, broken things, even managed to fall over herself as she had went to heal Saoirse, but she kept going. Eventually she had the whole place mapped out in her head, and she tried to make sure to remember where she put her belongings. At least she wasn't alone. Baal was a great help, but even so, she missed seeing him. Did he look tired? He sounded exhausted.
She heard the door open, tilting her head a little as she followed the sound with her ear. The person left again, and by the sound of it, the person had been one of the cultists. Then she heard the sound of his fingers. He was holding on to something, and soon enough he disclosed what it was. Figuring out where things were was still hard, but she had learnt quickly that slow calm movements were the best way to go. "Your hands are shaking a bit; Did you eat yet?" she asked, mostly just to pass some time as her hand moved slow towards where she thought the cup would be.