Soon to departure

She saw the tears on the hybrid's face, and for once she felt like she could relate to the woman in the room with her. Instead of commenting on it she let it be, letting Aiden speak if she wanted to. Nova hadn't wanted to speak about Trent, and the hybrid had been kind enough to not force words out of her mouth. Nodding at the sweet words, sitting still and rather relaxed as she did her make up. There was something nice about being tended to this way, like she had someone who genuinely wanted the best for. Nova had faced away from the mirror at Aiden's request, and at the talk about mascara she chuckled, nodding as she understood the struggle. She felt her head getting turned and opening her eyes she looked at herself rather surprised. Speechless, that was what she was. She was so used to seeing herself with messy eyeliner and mascara only that this felt like taken out of a movie. "I don't think I've ever looked this ... refined," she said, studying her face closely. It was so smooth and soft looking, and it looked like her eyes were the first thing people would notice. Reaching over she took the mascara and started applying a nice amount in simple strokes, careful not to mess with the masterpiece that Aiden had created with her face as a canvas. Being done she placed the mascara down, chuckling a bit to herself as she felt it so surreal. Moving to her feet she pulled Aiden in to a brief hug, not too long as she felt like she herself needed some room to breathe. "Then it's the dress and some shoes, I guess?" she asked, not sure if there was a specific recipe to this.

It felt strange to have another person compliment her looks. Of course the celestial was not blind to her own beauty, but sometimes she felt so utterly ignored by those around her, that she put it more on the back burner. Perchance it was a good thing to feel this confident. Reminding herself that meeting up with Trent was more an action of strength than of weakness. Moving to stand up she got helped in to the dress, seeing how it flowed with her subtle curves made her rather surprised. Of course she had worn dresses before, but none as nice like this. She could barely feel it on her. Stepping in to the shoes was pretty easy, but it did make her a bit taller as the heal had a nice height to it. She tried walking a bit back and forth, trying to get the hang of it so she wouldn't just look like a newborn giraffe walking down the streets. Then she thought about what Aiden had said. It sounded like a good idea to have a lifeline like that, it actually made her feel more safe than before. As she felt herself steady enough she walked out to the washing room where Aiden was. Running a hand down along the fabric she smiled a little. "What do you think?" she asked, feeling a little nervous to hear the hybrid's opinion.

When she came out in her dress and the shoes, Aiden didnt seem to pull a face as she looked her up and down. After a while she made a faint smile and shrugged, "Beautiful," she said truthfully, motioning with her fingers for Nova to turn around. She narrowed her eyes before she nodded to herself in agreement to her judgement. She was definitely going to break a couple of hearts tonight looking like that, Aiden was certain. "I'll drive you there if you want?" she suggested, looking at the machine to realize it could take a while, especially as she needed to wash the other bag as well. Depending on Nova's choice, she would nod and either get ready or stand where she stood.

Trent was there earlier than expected, not in a particularly formal kind of clothing. When he had left England, it wasnt like he had packed a bag of necessities, with the way she had sounded like she needed him he had left from where he was, which hadnt been home at the time she contacted him. He was in a fresh new outfit, but that was only because he had bought it and discarded his old clothes. Stepping into the restaurant, a lot of eyes where on him due to how he was dressed and he knew he stood out easily. He sat down at the table, drawing in a short breath as he felt oddly nervous when he never felt nervous. He tapped his fingers on the table, looking around from time to time when he wasnt exactly the kind to wear a wristwatch.

"I think I'd like to walk; get used to the shoes and all that," she said taking Aiden's hand giving it a soft squeeze. "But thank you ... If I need your help, I have your number," she said, sending the hybrid what could be interpreted as a timid gaze, but it was more grateful than anything. She made sure to wear one of her large black coats, covering up her dress and making her less overly aware of how she looked. Thankfully the place that Trent had spoken about wasn't too far away, but even then, she could just follow the pull that her body seemed to feel. But with every step she took she felt more and more nervous, however instead of turning around she just sped up her walk. Once she reached the restaurant she felt almost out of breath, looking at the fancy sign and the men outside ready to open the doors for her. Frowning a bit she shook her head, and she was about to walk away before she decided to just go to the doors. Inside another large man stood ready to take her coat, making her smile shyly, but people were quick to notice her beauty. "I'm here for ... I guess he just goes by Trent," she said, chuckling a little nervously. "Of course madam, let me follow you to him," one of the hosts said, holding out her arm for her to take. Nova hesitated at first but placed her hand on the man's arm before following her. Looking around it all seemed so strange, the fancy decor and the well dressed people. Then her heart stopped as she saw Trent, her eyes flickering a bit as her body couldn't decide wether to run away from him or run into his arms.

As she was led to him she looked down at the floor, but it didn't change anything. Of course he recognized her in an instance, the pull that he provided her was surely something he felt as well. Looking up at him she saw how surprised he was, and it made her feel a little satisfied. Had he perhaps thought her a coward and not expecting her to show up? She had considered running away, hiding until he had left the country and she could resume her day to day life. However fate was a strange thing. She let go of the host's arm and moved over to sit down at the chair he held for her, being careful not to touch him. Being honest, she didn't want him to touch her, not before she felt like she could understand his motives. He moved to sit down himself, and she hadn't even said a word before he started complimenting her. Her face was relaxed, perhaps a little stoic, but she just watched him rather carefully. "It is," she replied at his remark about her looking this way. "Why did you want to meet with me; Was it just so you could see my face or was it some sort of test?" she asked, clearly not having figured out his motive yet. He didn't seem threatening, however there was something almost animalistic about him. The way he looked at her. It felt like he was hungry for her, yet had no wish to eat her. It was a rather strange combination.

It felt so strange. Seeing how relaxed he was made her body tense a little at the way his eyes seemed to almost soften up. His words about him dying made her sigh, looking down to her napkin that was folded like a swan on her dinner plate. "I don't want to harm you," she replied, looking at him with a frown on her face. Just because she didn't like his past selves, didn't mean she wished for his death. She didn't even want to hurt him, she just wanted to keep him from hurting others. Perchance she just believed that she could stop him, even though that might not be true. She knew that he had said the words destined to be with, yet it felt awfully right of him to say that. She could feel it in every fibre of her body, feel that she was still drawn to him even if her mind was telling her not to act on it. However instinct was not so easily overwritten, making her hold her breath for a while as he reached for the menu. Her face showed a bit more emotion at this point, as it was rather hard for her to keep her stoic appearance. She was the type of woman to carry her emotions on her sleeves. "I could eat," she said, a small lie as she felt her stomach toss and turn because she was rather hungry. She felt her eyes glance down at the menu, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers as she considered the options. Everything sounded so fancy, and it was barely something she could recognize. Maybe she should just go with the recommendation from the waiter, but then again she didn't want to show her indecisiveness to her counterpart. Her blue grey eyes looked up from the menu, looking at the man across from her. Looking at the way his chiseled features seemed to show off his hard side, yet she could sense something softer underneath. It was a strange sensation; to look at someone and feel like she recognized him so vividly, yet knew nothing about him. "What do you remember of us?" she asked, feeling herself rather confused. He spoke to her as if he was in love, as if he had been in love with her before even knowing how she looked or spoke.

“But you dont really want to be with me either. It’s the same thing over and over,” he argued though he wasnt sure he truly believed that she wouldnt feel some sort of relief if he was made incapable of doing harm to others in whatever way was necessary. It was probably the thing that made him that much worse than others, the fact that he was so aware of what he was doing and yet he did it anyway. But he just couldnt find it in himself to care for these beings that he saw as lesser than the kind that they were. It just wasnt possible for him.
Skimming through the different dishes, her choice to reply with simple sentences made him smile a little to himself. She was really trying not to reveal too much of herself, which he didnt blame her for, but he knew fair a bit of what she had been like in the good memories and which traits that had seem to stuck - Just like she did with him but with far less of the good traits.
Her question made him look up from the menu in his hands as he frowned a little and looked away for a moment. He seemed to search his memory as his eyebrows tightened slightly in minimalistic twitches like he was rewinding through all they had been through to get to the end. “ Uhhh. I remember all sorts of things, he said a little absentminded before he looked at her and placed the card down. “ I remember when you owned that hair saloon. It must have been around the time of the war because I was some sort of general, but I walked past that window and as soon as I saw you, I just knew I couldnt ever let you go. So I got a haircut. Though I didnt need one, I got in there, even when you looked at me like you had seen a scary ghost,” he explained, placing a hand along his jawline as he scratched his stubble a little thinking about it. He wet his lips as a small smile crept up on his lips but it was just how endearing he found the memory. “ No matter how many flowers or things I brought you, you wouldnt budge. Telling me that you felt something was off about me, that you didnt like my status in the military. Really you were just behaving like a wife scolding her husband for whatever I had seemed to have done wrong,” he said. He made a small sigh, thinking he had drawn out the story. “ I dont know what this lifetime will bring, Nova. I’m not doing this to swindle a way to be with you. The love I feel for you is strong, so strong that I just want you to be happy. If a friendship makes you happy, I’ll be a friend, and so on,” he then explained, making a small shrug before he waved over a waiter. If course he could choose to be selfish and deny her to be with anyone but he felt like he had seen what that would bring in another life.
The waiter arrived and Trent corrected his posture as he looked up at the rather small man, “ She’ll have your risotto with mushrooms, but take out the meat and instead, give her a side salad with some fine pecan nuts sprinkled on top, he said, eyeing her shortly before he looked up at the man again. “ I’ll just have your stew but with half the amount of meat,” he then said, looking at Nova like he needed her to confirm the order.

Sitting across from him made her feel uneasy, like he could reach over and hurt her yet refrained from doing so. It was a fear that sat deep within her, yet at the same time she wanted to reach over and pull him closer. Closer than was even possible, and maybe let the pull subside for a while so she could finally breathe normally. It was ever making her wonder what might be if she didn't feel so scared. Yet she was not scared of him, she was scared of her memories, scared of what he was capable of. She had a hard time focussing on the menu, when she really just wanted to get over this pulling feeling. It was as if her whole body was on strings like a puppet and her being was being tugged and tossed around, yet she was sitting perfectly still. Then he spoke, his voice smooth and a bit of a masculine raspiness over it. His story made her heart beat faster, because she remembered the salon. She remembered how she used to decorate the windows with flowers of the seasons, and that despite the war she was having plenty of costumers. Yet something was off. She couldn't remember his kind gestures. She could barely remember anything sweet he had ever done towards her. As he spoke about her acting as a wife she swallowed, looking down at the menu. The thought alone made her stomach turn, but she couldn't tell if it was good or bad. He spoke as if it was easy, easy to distinguish what they could or couldn't be. "You wouldn't be content with my mere friendship," she argued, frowning as a memory popped in her head. However before she could elaborate he waved the waiter closer, and as he placed an order for her she looked at him rather surprised. How did he know exactly what she liked? She felt her head churn to find an answer to that, but she decided to simply nod before the waiter went off with their orders.

"As I was saying, you have never been content with sharing me," she said, feeling her heart pump faster at the thought. She never wished to belong to anyone but herself, but that was not an option, sadly. "I remember you like a shadow, dragging blood after you wherever you might go," she said, feeling her body tremble at the thought. "I remember the times you killed my lovers out of spite or jealousy, an evil I've never come to understand," she whispered, feeling herself getting a bit emotional, however crying would help no one. She sat for a while, looking at the nicely shaped napkin, wondering if that was all she was going to be; a decoration or a nice trinket for him to have in his life. She grabbed her handbag, opening it and pulling out the small bear that he had gifted her, looking at it before she placed it on the table between their glasses. "You brought me this ... A trinket to remind me of perhaps something good, but all I can remember is the awful stuff," she said, her voice a little weak as she tried to hide her emotions. "Why can't I remember what you can? Are we cursed to never see eye to eye?" she asked, looking at the small bear. She felt a fondness towards the small trinket, yet the underlying trouble was not something she could just erase.

She might have been right to say that he wouldnt be content, but he didnt have the memories of such a thing. Though feeling inside of himself, he knew that it would take a lot of strain for him to let her be free and one wrong mood or approach would culminate into something horrible. He leaned back and folded his hands as she resumed their conversation where they had left off at her claim that he couldnt just be her friend. He let her talk as he just sat and listened, blinking a few times as he frowned a little. He thought he had spared her from some of the worst of the horrible he had done, but he was starting to feel like that was just a mere hope. “I would only kill for you if I knew something you didnt, that in the end would hurt you if you knew” he said, tilting his head to the side just slightly. It was true that he would kill in a heartbeat for her sake, but since he had no memory of what he had done, he couldnt just sit here and tell her that he couldnt have killed a lover of hers.
He watched her as she pulled out if the trinket from her handbag, the little keychain of a teddybear dressed like a royal guard of England. He would have thought that she would had thrown it out or left it at home somewhere where she could find it in a few years and remember him, but this made him feel something else. A sort of happiness that she hadnt just shunned him away, that she was somehow giving him a chance. Not to be with her - He wouldnt assume that could be a possibility he would even consider, but a chance to show her that he wasnt as bad as she seemed to remember him to be.
He made a shrug at her question, “I dont know Nova. Maybe it’s all just a cruel trick of the elders to keep us in place, cloud our sense if purpose and narrow it down to only feel the need for the one on the other side of the bond,” he thought out loud as he touched the napkin on his plate, wondering if the shape of the it resembled their memory. While he remembered the good, she only knew of the bad, the apparently very bad that he had done. But the waves of the fine fabric made him believe that they had to find that middleground, the line that connected it all. “What’s the worst memory that you have of me? I can tell you my best memory of you and I’m sure you wouldnt believe me,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. He wasnt trying to be competetive with her, make her feel like there was some sort of race of who remembered in the best aptitude on the good or bad scale. He just wanted to know what he had to deal with. What she saw every time she looked at him, the reminder that seemed to put her off.

Part of her didn't accept his reasoning. In her eyes there was never a reason to spill blood, even if it was for her quote on quote safety. The way he spoke seemed so far from the irrational madness that she could recall. He seemed almost logical, contemplating the intentions of the Elders. Perhaps that was the good side of him that she had yet to discover. Perhaps that thoughtfulness might've even ended up with her marrying him in one of their past lives, but she couldn't know. Nova had always felt drawn to someone else, felt the connection even as she grew up. Not that she could remember much of her childhood as celestials grew rather fast from child to adult. Her eyes were fixated on the small trinket on the table, not knowing if it was a peace offering or a mark of ownership from Trent's view. His question made her frown, looking at him as she tried to process his words. The worst thing? She felt like she couldn't pick one great evil over the other, but perhaps it was more to see what he had done. Why he couldn't remember the cruelness she didn't know, but telling him about it might change his ways. Taking a deep breath she thought about it for a second or two, replaying so many bad memories before her mind seemed to fixate on one. "You have done a lot of horrible things when I think of it," she said, feeling her breath tremble a bit. She didn't like thinking about all of those bad memories that still seemed to haunt her nightmares. "But one thing you did was perhaps the cruelest," she said, closing her eyes as she tried to find her words to describe it. It left her body feeling so cold, and she knew he probably wouldn't have thought this as a possibility. Her hand fiddled a bit with the napkin, unraveling the tight bound swan a little, making it's head bow down towards the plate. "The worst memory for me ... Is all the times I shouted in to the void ... And you never replied," she whispered, feeling the loneliness creep up on her. "I would beg for your help, I would be pleading and screaming just to get your attention, but you never appeared - However I knew you were there. I knew you could hear me and you could see me suffer when I needed you. I'm afraid you perhaps found joy in my pain, felt like I was less than you and could never be remotely your equal," she said, swallowing as she closed her eyes. Whatever bloodshed he had done in their past was nothing compared to the loneliness she had felt. She had never really had a family, in any of her lifetimes, and she had never found her real place. Yet being denied any comfort had been the most painful of all. She took a sharp inhale, looking at the swan that had collapsed on her plate because her fingers were slowly playing with it, making it come undone.

With his question he had expected a few things. For her to go off about a story of how he tormented her in the worst way possible, that in his jealousy he had isolated her and kept her captive and locked away from everyone else, because some part of him thought he was very much capable of doing so if the need rose - Not that he felt that particular need now, but he could if he got to know her more. Tit was dangerous meeting with her, because every second, the more he looked at her and felt like he just had to reach across the table and grab her hand or do something else to display his affection, those were dangerous desires. Seemingly small desires, right? Touching her hand wouldnt seem like a big deal, but it was to him. He hated comfort, he hated having to rely on someone else - So he hadnt ever in his life done such a thing, form this reliance that someone else would soothe his troubles and make life easier. But with her he barely thought twice, thought twice on his own morals, what he thought he needed and didnt need.
Her reply shocked him, which showed as his eyebrows twitched and he leaned back with a contemplating expression, pondering over her words. He knew he could be cruel, crueler than most. So instead of arguing, lying and say that he wouldnt ever do such a thing, he just stared at her crumbled swan. “I dont ever feel joy in hurting you,” he truthfully said after a while of silence, still staring at her swan. His eyes moved slow almost a bit distant as he looked up at her, his teeth grinding slightly like he really thought twice about what he wanted to say. “But my equal? Bullshit, it has always been you with your upperhand and me sitting like a good dog to take whatever you threw at me till you either grew tired or fell in love,” he said, frowning to himself, “It’s like you say; Are we cursed to never see eye to eye? Am I cursed to chase someone that trembles in my presence; Not with love. Not with exictement. Fear and distrust, memories of harm and loneliness,” he then said, scratching the side of his face as he looked at her. Somehow his own words were angering him, because it felt true and he didnt like it. He didnt like the void feeling in his chest that he knew all too well. But now he had stumbled and fallen into his own emotions that he rarely showed. “You dont love me, you never really have. Maybe once when the bond was formed, but then you got to know me and since then I’ve been chasing shadows from a time that’s barely known to these vermin you call people!” He said, but as he could have raised his voice, he lowered it, yet the frustration was so present. He clutched his hand to a fist, wanting to slam it down the table to release some tension, but he just reminded himself with his eyes closed and a few deep breaths that this was a fancy place.

Him not finding joy in hurting her she in turn found rather hard to believe. Why else was he tormenting her like this right now? As she had made her recount of their shared past, she expected him to just return with some story about her and him having been together and in love. The concept alone felt strange to her; the fact that she had willingly put aside all of their past memories to be with him. However as he spoke she frowned, mostly because to her it had always seemed like she could never even match up to be even remotely his equal. As he spoke about chasing after her she looked down, seeing the sad and torn apart swan as a weird and twisted metaphor for how this could turn out. She didn't interrupt him as he spoke, mostly because she was interested in what he said. "Sometimes you have to choose between planting roots or growing wings," she whispered sighing to herself before she turned her eyes to look at him. "You told me that once, and it has stuck with me ever since, like a twisted tattoo that I can't erase from my mind," she said, and for the first time since meeting him, her lips curled up in to a genuine smile. His words had been out of anger, she could see that, but was he pushing his anger on others because he thought he could never have her? Was he punishing innocent people because he could never find rest, just like she couldn't? Reaching out to a glass of water she took it, taking a small sip and mostly just trying to process it all. Looking at the water she felt a little sad, mostly because perhaps her existence was made to be sacrificed. She would offer herself up to him so that he would stop hurting others, but would that even help? Could her light outshine his darkness enough for him to be persuaded away from it? "I never hated you ... I wanted to hate you of course, but I couldn't," she said, her smile turning a little sad as her blue grey eyes returned to the celestial in front of her. "What is your fondest memory of us?" she asked. There had to be a silver lining, at least she hoped so.

He faintly heard her whisper but it wasnt something that made sense to him. He looked at her as she explained that it was something he had said, furrowing his brows when he couldnt recall ever saying something along those lines. Her smile caught him a little off guard as he hadnt expected her to, especially a smile that he could easily recognize as genuine. He looked down at the table as he swallowed hard and thought about it all. However she felt about their bond, it was clear that he wasnt too happy about it either. As much as he knew it couldnt be broken, a part of him had developed a want to but at the same time not. It was a complicated matter, because it was their destiny. It was the condition for living - Sharing this bond with someone else or cease to exist.
He kept looking at the table even as she said she didnt hate him. "Do you want to hate me?" he asked, needing to know if she still felt that way, but at the same time he probably wouldnt believe any answer that she may have. He dreaded the fact that there wasnt any guidance for them to get. Most species had a priest or priestess who they could go to, but the celestial's had no guide or guidelines, just a feeling of a great pull from birth that couldnt be explained or explored in any other way than to follow it.
He made a deep sigh at her question as he finally looked at her. Did she ask because she really wanted to know or was she just trying to lighten the mood? "We were living a simple life. You had your bonds in the village and everyone knew you as some sort of healer. It was a pretty good life, at least I thought it was,” he told her, moving his eyes away as he seemed to step into the memory in his mind, a small hint of a smile on his lip as he scoffed. His anger seemed to soften up and he seemed relaxed once again. “ We knew children wasnt a thing we were allowed. Not our own anyway. So we went to some kind of orphanage in a big town nearby, with our simple lifestyle, they thought the child deserved better. You were heartbroken as they turned us down, but you didnt want to show it because you thought I would be pissed,” he explained, looking back at her as he made a small motion with his shoulders. “But I knew and I couldnt let them hurt you like that. But you didnt want them harmed either. I respected your wishes. But I stole a baby, a little baby boy as I didnt exactly check every and each. But that didnt matter to you. At first you were furious, thinking I had killed everyone... and then you looked at him. And I swear I saw your eyes shine with joy,” he then said, lifting his hands to the sides like he was surrendering to something. “You’ve always held all lives dear to your heart. And I guess that’s why I dont care for them,” he said, spotting the food arriving in the corner of his eye.

Nova shrugged at his question. "I never really wanted to hate you, I guess I just wished we could figure it all out," she said. She was being quite honest in this moment, not withholding anything, because frankly she was tired. Tired of this endless cycle, that no matter what she did, one of them would end up getting hurt. "Because my mind is telling me to run as far away from you as humanly possible, and my heart is pleading with me to just reach my arms around you and never let go," she said, feeling sad to admit it, but it was how she felt. Could he understand fully how torn she was? Perhaps he was the only one who would ever truly understand her in this big chaotic world. As he seemed to calm down somewhat she just looked at him, seeing his eyes grow distant. The story he painted seemed so far fetched, but looking at him, she didn't suspect him lying. She sat in silence, looking at him as he recounted the story of them, a simple life, a house even and then he mentioned the talk of children. She felt her eyes water, because she knew he was speaking the truth now. No one knew of her deepest desire to be a parent, but he knew how she valued it. It was perhaps the matter of wanting something you could never have. As he spoke of them getting denied, she looked down to her broken swan, feeling like she had felt that emotion so many times over. She felt like she had vague memories, almost like dream states, where she could see a child in her arms and a fuzzy image of a man next to her. Swallowing a name popped in to her head. "Were we happy together?" she asked. Had he been content with her and had she been content with him? Noticing the food arriving, she could feel herself hungry. It was perhaps because she had been so drawn to how he spoke that for a moment she had forgotten how to feel anything but reacting to what he conveyed.

The waiter placed their plates in front of them, urging them to call on him if there was any problems, and then he resumed to his other work. Nova was quite grateful for the fact that he just let them speak. "It looks good," she said, untangling her napkin and placing it in her lap. She had seen people do that in movies, so she presumed that was what she was supposed to do. Biting her lower lip she looked at the risotto, and she couldn't help but think how he knew her so well. She felt like she barely knew anything about him, except for the bad things he had done to her. Picking up her fork she placed a mouthful of the risotto on it before taking a bite. Closing her eyes for a minute, she couldn't help but smile, because quite frankly it had been a long time since she had gotten anything this good. Sighing she opened her eyes, looking at her meal rather perplexed, before her gaze moved to Trent. "When are you leaving?" she asked. She didn't really know what she was hoping for, but a part of her just wanted to spend the night telling stories. Mostly she wanted to hear about the good stuff he had to tell, but it could go both ways if he wished. That, and she felt like she had conquered a fear of hers. "I mean ... I wouldn't want to have to rush," she said.

She didn't know why. Perhaps she was too gullible, but his words hit her deep. Eric. A strong name for a child, and one she really liked. Her eyes were almost glued to Trent as he spoke of her love for the child, but it was a bittersweet taste she felt in her mouth. Not being able to remember it felt like her heart breaking. "Why can't I remember," she pleaded in a soft whisper. She wanted almost so desperately to remember how it had been, how it had felt and if it had truly been as he described it. His words about her love for their child was almost romantic, but she couldn't focus on that. She was too caught up in trying to rummage her mind but snapped out of it as the food was placed in front of her. Swallowing she looked down at her food as he said a few hours. She should be happy, right? Her worst fear leaving for perhaps forever, what an amazing thing! But she felt utterly helpless at the thought. Trent had answered her, even when he could've just ignored her, and it had to mean something. He had hurt her before, so many lifetimes, yet was the part of starting a new life not also to just start over? "Yeah, I'll probably keep it," she admitted, frowning as she turned her gaze to the small bear still placed on the table. She had the urge to toss it away, to just let go and live this life how she wanted to, but something in her told her that she couldn't do that. Taking a deep breath she wrinkled her nose a little, the smell of meat wasn't really pleasant to her. "How can you eat that?" she asked, her voice more concerned than disgusted, although she did want to turn her head away as he ate, she felt rather sick to her stomach thinking of the animal that once had been. Wrapping her head around it was hard, but she continued eating. She was still contemplating wether or not she wanted him to leave, because it felt like he knew so much about her.

Even though he said it made him strong, she couldn't really believe it. She at least wasn't willingly eating what he was right now. Reaching over the table she took the small bear, turning it around in her hand as she took another bite. It was rather cute, she had to admit that. And if there was one thing that she was a sucker for, it was small trinkets like these. She couldn't tell why, because it didn't matter if it was shiny or had any great value, she just liked collecting small things, keeping them on her as almost tokens. "There would be better ways to keep strong than meat," she stated, looking at him with concerned eyes. Nova knew they were linked, so if he died, so would she, but that wasn't really her concern. If he lived healthy, together they could live for many thousand years in this life. His question made her swallow, placing the bear next to her fork, looking at it for a while. "I feel for them ... Forbidden love is not rare, but they are from two very strong bloodlines; I can feel how the bond I have with the daemon is almost twisting itself to get free," she said, sighing as she shook her head. "But what they could create together, would never be allowed to live - At least not without my protection," she said. Why was she disclosing all of this to him? Perhaps to let him know that he didn't have to worry about them further. "I'm sentimental, and I just couldn't bear hearing the fenix cry ... I could hear her in the Void like a whisper," she said, placing a hand over her heart. Thinking of it made her sad. "And because of me and my stupidity, I'm afraid she'll die if I don't do something," she whispered, feeling a tear escape her eyes and run down her cheek.

//Out <33//