So much for a quiet life

It had been roughly a week since Buffy had given birth, and their little girl was growing fast, but she was still not big enough to talk. However quite a few things had happened already. For one, their little girl wasn't completely their own anymore, as for her own safety and life for that matter, she had been bound to two other individuals. Two of her own blood; Connor and Amos. Light and dark there to protect her. It had also meant that, for some reason, the two young men came over quite frequently, not that Buffy minded the extra hands once in a while. She was healing quite well, starting to do some light exercises when she had the energy for it. Still breastfeeding was hard on her body, but Aiden had made a whole meal plan for her, so that she could have as much energy as possible throughout the day. Besides that Leona had supplied with some ointments and incense that would soothe her healing body.
That night Buffy was finally sleeping a deeper sleep than before. Saoirse had seemed to get a schedule of waking up every five hours, which gave the fenix a chance to actually rest. However tonight it wouldn't be their young child waking her up, it was the sound of things falling to the floor. She sat up, placing a hand to reach for Saoirse, but she was sleeping soundly. A bit startled she sat up, feeling on the place beside her, still lukewarm from Baal's body, but he wasn't there. Her heart started racing, grabbing her phone as she shot Amos a text, saying that she needed him to stop by. Amos had the nightshift as the boys had dubbed it this week. Basically, if anything came up, she or Baal would text him, and he would stop by. It alternated each week; an idea that Xander had gotten, and it was only for people who wanted to do it. Moving to her feet, she felt a bit scared, her heart racing in her throat as she walked towards the sounds coming from the bathroom. Knocking on it gently, she felt a shiver run down her spine. "Belial?" she asked in a careful voice, her breath shaking a bit.

Buffy didn't really know what to expect, feeling her breath halter at his reply. He didn't sound to be doing too great, and it made her sick with worrying. She could hear him scramble around once more, and she could've sworn he mumbled something, but it was incoherent through the door. Taking a deep breath she looked up at her daemon as he opened the door, noticing the sweat gleam in the dim light from the moon outside. Not to mention how his marks and chest was lighting up. Never had she seen him this tormented, and she stepped aside to let him pass, feeling helpless, yet she followed him to the kitchen. She saw him shaking, feeling tears in her eyes as she walked closer. "Love, you need to talk to me," she pleaded, feeling her heart race. She was well aware of the instructions that Trent had given him, but she feared what might happen next. What if Baal couldn't constrain himself any more? What if she could do nothing to soothe the pain in his heart? "I want to help you," she said in a broken voice, not wanting the one she loved to be in so much pain. All she wanted was to touch him and pull him close, but with the artifact going crazy, she couldn't tell if it was a wise idea. She took a chance anyways, placing a hand on his shoulder blade. "Tell me what's going on," she whispered.

It was hard helping when even he didn't know what to do. Buffy was listening for Saoirse, she always was when she wasn't in the same room as them, but Baal needed her right now. At least that was what she told herself. She smiled softly as he placed a hand on her wrist, but as she pulled her closer and held her in place she felt it was wrong. Not being close to him, but the fact that he looked at her as if she was a meal. Her eyes drifted, looking away as she felt scared for the first time, feeling her heart beat faster. She wouldn't have cared if it had just been the two of them, but it wasn't anymore. They had a living breathing life in the other room, one that needed them to survive and live. "Belial," she whispered in a raspy voice, wanting to tell him off and that he needed to ground himself. However he seemed to do it by himself, making her wrap her arms around herself, taking a few quick breaths. Tears were in her eyes as he started to speak, but she couldn't look at him. She didn't want him to see her cry. "I know you ... I know you are fighting harder than anyone would have in your place," she said, being a bit more weary to go near him. "But maybe I've been too hopeful that my love could heal you," she whispered, her shoulders shaking a bit as she tried not to show that she was actually crying. She shook her head. "I don't know what to do, I don't know if I can actually help you in this," she whispered, her voice breaking a bit.

Was she being unreasonable? Wanting to help him even though she knew she couldn't. She was still healing and getting in to the whole ordeal of being a mother. Every day Saoirse seemed to grow so much, not fitting the small onesie she had worn their first night together. She felt her body shaking a bit, feeling like this was unreasonable. Why would any god ever let Baal suffer like this when he was finally feeling happy? Though he kept his distance, she could feel his need to have her close, to comfort her, because she reciprocated those feelings for her daemon. He was too afraid to hurt her, but she was too afraid that he would never touch her again. Taking the last few steps closer to him, she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close even if her body felt sore. "It's alright, it's alright," she whispered, as if she was trying to convince herself that it was. "I know you want what is safest for all of us, but Saoise is growing so fast - I'm afraid you'll miss something and regret it," she whispered, feeling her tears run down her face, but she simply kept him close. Closing her eyes shut, she took a few trembling breaths. "I love you, and I know that it's not enough to heal you or help you, but your sister could help you; can't she?" she asked, feeling like she didn't even know anymore. She heard the door unlocking, knowing it was Amos and she felt grateful for him showing up so fast. "I can handle Soairse, I can take care of her, but she needs her father in her life," she said, shaking a little because she felt like it sounded like a goodbye. However it wasn't. It was her making sure that he understood that she was giving him the space he needed to see if he could get this artifact under control. "She needs her father to be happy and healthy, she needs him to protect her," she whispered.

She felt relieved that he didn't push her away, because that would be the worst thing for her right now. She needed a small moment, just one time to hold him in her arms before he would have to do what he needed. "This is not a goodbye," she whispered softly, because it really wasn't. She could just feel that in her heart, and she needed to trust that things would work out. He needed to figure this out, and she couldn't help, it was simple as that, but seeing the one you considered your other half suffer this way was never nice. "You need to be here every other day; I don't want ... I don't want Saoirse to forget your face," she whispered, her shoulder shaking as she started crying. Buffy was emotional right now, probably because of her hormone levels and how demanding their small child was. "And I want you to get better, so that you can be an active part of our little family - Without you I wouldn't know what to do," she sobbed, hugging him a little tighter as she hid her face in his chest, breathing in his scent. In the other room she could hear Saoirse fussing, waking up because she was hungry and with at trembling breath the fenix let go of her daemon. Reaching up, she touched his cheek, pulling him down to a tender kiss before she needed to go tend to the little crying girl. Tears were streaming down her face, but she tried sounding like everything was alright. "Hungry again, my little troublemaker?" she cooed the baby, trying to wipe away her tears as she sat down on the bed, picking the girl up in her arms. Amos was there, and she felt so relieved that someone had been there to watch over Saoirse. "She just needs some food," she said, as if she thought Amos was nervous that he had made the girl cry.

Baal hadn't needed to tell her that he loved her, because she knew, why else would he want to get better? She looked at him, her eyes lingering on his face and not the shining marks, as she wanted to see the man that she loved and not get distracted. She couldn't say goodbye or even see you later, as it felt too real. Then she moved to the bedroom, seeing Amos stroking her daughter's cheek made her smile a little, even if she was hurting. It was good to see that the little girl was never going to be alone. It filled her with more courage than she thought possible. Amos' remark made her chuckle, sniffling to not sound like she was sobbing once more. Saoirse quickly took to eating, making Buffy sigh as it always was energy stealing. "Soon enough she'll start walking, at least at the speed she is growing," she said, stroking her daughter's soft cheek while the girl ate. "She'll be running around the house in no time, and even speaking gibberish," she whispered, feeling the sadness cloud her heart for a while. Would Baal be there to see her first steps? Hear her first words? Would he ever feel comfortable enough to be close to their little miracle of a daughter? Breathing out she decided to let it be just worry, and not think much further about things she couldn't help. "Your father is going through a lot ... I don't expect you to come running every time I ask you, but I could use a pair of hands when you're not too busy," she said as Saoirse finished up. The small girl started to have hiccups, making Buffy chuckle, lifting her up over her shoulder. The girl's eyes quickly found Amos' in the dim light of the small lamp beside the bed. The green eyes looking like a mixture of colors that her parents had. She hiccuped once more, pulling a face as it clearly wasn't nice. Buffy made sure to comfort the child until it's hiccups stopped.

Buffy held her daughter for a while after her hiccups had stopped, looking at her pale blonde hair and those stunning eyes. She couldn't help but smile a little at Amos' reply. "I'm young too, you know, I just happen to have a child now," she said softly, placing Saoirse down in her crib. Amos turned rather serious for a while, making her frown a little as she sat down on the bed, placing the covers around herself to keep warm. "Are you afraid I don't like you?" she asked, tilting her head a little to the side as she looked at the young daemon. Shaking her head, she smiled a little, her tears had dried, but she hadn't stopped thinking about Baal. "What your parents did or didn't do, don't really concern me; It was a time before I had met Belial and to judge his life without knowing everything wouldn't be fair to any of you," she said in a thoughtful voice. She was tired, but not so tired as she couldn't spare a moment with Amos. Reaching over she placed a hand on the daemon's. "But I could never shun anyone for who they are or where they come from; What is important to me is that you are family, and if you care for Saoirse, then I don't need to know anything else," she said.

Looking at Amos, she couldn't help but smile a bit at how he interacted with the small child. Saoirse started to giggle a little, grabbing on to the daemon's finger with her tiny hands. Buffy chuckled, because when ever the child was content and happy, it seemed to rub off on her, even if she was at her saddest. His question developed and she exhaled, looking at her daughter as she thought about it. It was a sensitive topic, because she didn't want to offend the young daemon in the room with her. "I think it's strange," she said, truthfully. She could never imagine being with Xander or even one of her cousins. Looking back at Amos she smiled apologetically. "Society today has a lot of rules, and one of them also includes that what me and Belial are doing is deemed unnatural," she said, trying to see if he could catch on to what she was saying. She wasn't directly disgusted, she just simply couldn't understand it. "But just like that, something beautiful was created from a taboo; you were made and now Saoirse is here too - If we followed all the rules, then perhaps I wouldn't even have been here," she said in a thoughtful voice. "My father's a human, long line dating back to some of the first of Gambion, but my mother's line is supposedly supposed to date back to Verity herself," she said, stroking Saoirse's blonde hair. "If my parents had followed the strict rules of keeping it within the race, then me or my brother wouldn't have existed," she said, smiling at the small trybrid, blabbering and clearly fighting to fall asleep.

"That might be true, but whatever happened, happened, and I can't be the judge of someone's past," she said, chuckling as she noticed how Saoirse looked at Amos. Buffy wanted her little girl to grow up, surrounded by people who cared about her, and what better than to have two big brothers in Amos and Connor? She hadn't liked the idea of a bond to begin with, mostly because she couldn't tell what their girl wanted down the line, but if she died, then they never would find out. It had been the only option to keep this little treasure alive.
His question made a frown appear on her face, not because she was mad at the question, but it was something that seemed so far off in the future. So much removed from the little girl in her arms. "Whatever makes her happy, makes me happy - Of course I would be a bit weary if she brought home a giant and ancient vampyre, but love is love," she said in a pondering voice. Her mother had always taught her and Xander that love came in all shapes and sizes. "I would want what is best for her, and I would need to trust that whomever she ends up with treats her right, looks after her and loves her deeply," she added, looking at Amos with a soft smile. It was clear that Buffy was tired, and she started rocking Saoirse to see if she would fall asleep. Breathing out as it didn't really seem to work. "All you want to do is look at your big brother, huh?" Buffy chuckled. It had probably been the first time she had referred to Amos as such, but she wanted him to know that she trusted him. That he was just as much part of the family, if he really wanted to. Looking back at Saoirse, Buffy laid down, yawning but she wouldn't sleep until the stubborn child would start drifting off. "Your mother raised you well, Amos, she can be really proud of you; I hope I could achieve something like that," she mumbled tiredly. Saoirse blabbered on, reaching for Amos' face and hands, pouting if he didn't give in and let her touch him.

Buffy smiled at Amos' suggestion, because it sounded like an excuse for him to spend some time with his baby sister. Not that she minded. She was pretty tired as it was, and with Baal not being there she felt heavy hearted. Her daemon had been with her, through everything, but when she thought they could have a quiet piece of life, it was taken from them. "Alright, but don't stay up all night; I can't have her shifting her sleep pattern too much," she noted, giving the daemon permission to take Saoirse. Buffy yawned, stretching a bit as she knew she would quickly bow down to the need of rest, and Amos' words were very comforting. She knew that raising children was not easy; she knew she had been a handful herself, so she could only imagine how Saoirse would turn out. "And if she starts fussing, there's a bottle in the fridge; just heat it for a while before you feed her, and make sure that it's not too hot," she mumbled, already drifting off.

Saoirse looked at Amos with big eyes as he carried her, her lips curling in a small smile as the child just stared at her brother. She was not always silent, but she rarely cried, and when she did it was because she was hungry or needed some comfort.

"I'll try and see if I can get her to sleep," he assured Buffy, looking down at the baby with a small smile. He chuckled softly as Buffy mumbled, he could easily hear how the fenix was already falling asleep. He decided to move out to the livingroom with the little one, turning some lights on that wouldnt be too bright and disturbing, but allow them to see each other. He sat down on the couch with her and looked at her bright coloured hair. "Now how am I supposed to bore you to death, sweet little sister?" he asked in an optimistic voice before he looked around. A bright smile spread on his face as he leaned a little to the side to grab a children's book on the armrest. "Have you been reading this with mommy and daddy?" he asked before looking at the book. It wasnt a lot of story on the pages but the drawings were vivid and colourful. He held up the book for her to choose, "Fancy a read?" he asked with his head tilted a little to the side.

He had texted Alyssa a location, but standing there in waiting hadnt been as pleasant as he initially thought, especially because the western part was so filled with party-people that never seemed to stop. It had taken just the right amount of passing souls to make him grab some poor pedestrian and pull them off the streets, not far from where he had told Alyssa to meet him, but far enough to be hidden. It felt scummy in every sense, but he just felt so blinded by hunger. "I'm sorry," he mumbled half-heartedly as he let go of the person and let them fall dead to the ground as he realized he wouldnt be satisfied. The guy's friend called out for him and Baal looked up before he took to the shadows, closing his eyes as he begged silently for the person to pass, move on and leave.

Saoirse seemed so content with being close to Amos, and as he sat them down she was busy reaching for him still. It was as if she wanted to be in his arms forever if she could. Her green eyes were curious, looking at the daemon she could hardly fathom was anyone but a safe person to be around. The small girl giggled, reaching for Amos' hand that held the book, blabbering something incoherent. Even though she was only a week old, she had grown a lot and even making a lot of noise. Nova had said it was relatively normal for a celestial child to grow what seemed to be years within days, so Saoirse's growth was slowed down somehow.

Alyssa had gotten the text, sighing to herself as she had been warning Baal ever since he had returned. She had warned him of the artifact, told him that he couldn't just rely on pure will to handle it. However her brother had been insistent on not wanting to miss a step of his daughter's growth. Alyssa could relate to that, as she had barely left Amos' side by the time he turned one year. However the danger that was with the artifact was not just something to solve easily. Alyssa was on her way, spotting a few young men moving down an alley not far from where Baal had asked to meet her, breathing out as she already knew what had happened. Moving in to the alley, she spotted her brother rather quickly, mostly because she could sense the artifact. "You are quite pathetic," she simply said, to her brother, standing beside him in the shadows. They were lucky they were mere humans, and with how they blended in, it was easy to hide. "Had enough of the normal life or?" she asked a bit dryly. Not because she was jealous, far from it, she would've hated to be tied down like that. However she was a bit nervous about Amos going there all the time. What that bond would mean for him down the line.

He knew Alyssa could easily find him so it wasnt like he was trying to hide from her or what he had done. Her words did however sting a little, frowning as he looked at the corpse, "I dont enjoy killing them. It's enough to know that so many has to die for our kind to live," he almost hissed at her before he felt a sharp stinging in his chest, making him lift his hand to hold over his heart and close his eyes. "I was almost going to try and feed on Buffy. I couldnt stay there," he said in a defeated tone, glancing back at the humans that were still calling for their friend. He knew he would give in eventually, to the hungry feeling. But he just wanted to postpone it for as long as he could. "I know you warned me but my family needed me," he said, looking at Alyssa with eyes that said that he was definitely not in a mood for I told you so's.
He leaned back against the wall and banged his head against the brick with a deep sigh, "She cant know......" he whispered in a plea, before he looked down at his hand on his chest. He clenched his jaw in pain with his hand at his heart. ".. I dont want her to think I'm a monster," he mumbled, his eyes fluttering a little to stop the wetness. His eyes grew distant as he stared at the ground, his marks starting to light up in a faint glow on his exposed skin on his hands and around his neck. His expression was frustrated while his body seemed to be in pain.

Alyssa sighed, looking at the corpse in the alley, how it was slumped over and looking almost as if he was taking a nap in a strange place. His words made her scoff softly, but not in dismissal. There was a reason those vials had been invented, even if not all was made as ethically as they claimed. "The more you deny what you are, the further away you are going to push those you want close," she said in a calm voice after he had told what he had tried to do. "I know you don't want any lecture, but that fenix could risk being in danger just being around her own daughter," she said, knowing that the child was part daemon. All daemon children came to a point where they tried getting souls without knowing the full extend of their actions.
The way Baal acted, Alyssa knew it would be a matter of time before he would attack the other strangers in the alley, but she cared little for their lives. However Baal seemed to care, so she would have to figure something out. As he said that Buffy couldn't know, she frowned. "You really think you could keep this a secret? Not tell her what you've done and what you are capable of doing when pushed to your limits?" she asked, before shaking her head. "If she sees you as a monster, she would have pushed you away when you had tried feeding on her," she said in a more stern voice. She grabbed Baal's arm, pulling him with her away from the city. He needed to focus, and he couldn't do that with living and breathing souls around them. She dragged him for a while before they got to an underground pass down to one of the abandoned stations. Down there they could be alone, and the pull of the surface world wouldn't be too bad. "Better?" she scoffed, letting go of his arm as she didn't want to be touching him more than necessary.