These happy places we go to

@Ethan <3

She had called him out here because she knew she had been a little too harsh lately with the mood swings. Especially towards Ethan and she thought it hadnt been fair. So what better way to make amends than a chill night under the stars? She had chosen an old playground to meet him at. She sat in one of the swings and slowly moved forward as she waited, looking up at the stars above. Most of the lights along the roads here were turned off or broken, making the sky look different here, no light pollution to dim the beautiful twinkles.
She hadnt really told any in the group that this place was were she went to be alone most of the time. Ayalla had the address, to this closed off park that was waiting for a greenlight to renovate, but Vanessa hadnt even asked her bestfriend to meet her here even once. She thought no one would be allowed to see what her happy place would be, that was what she had promised herself when she found it. But she wanted to show Ethan that she wasnt just messing around, that she did care for their friendship; though she cared for more than that, she needed a starting point. So now she sat here, wondering if he would even come?

She leaned a little against the chain as she looked up at the bright beautiful sky, sighing to herself. Just as she thought he wouldnt be showing up, she heard his footsteps in the sand, her heart beating a little faster as he greeted her. “Hey,” she greeted him, digging the tiptoes of her shoes into the soft sand. “Yeah. I found it by accident a few years ago,” she said, returning a faint smile. It felt a little weird if not personal to her that she made him show up here of all places. But she told herself that she just had to get used to the feeling. “I also found out that it’ll be torn apart and made into something also by next year,” she said a little sad, before she shrugged. “I just wanted to show you it before it’s gone,” she said with a soft chuckle though she couldnt quite rid herself of the hint of sadness.

She scoffed at his attempt to cheer her up, at least she had to give him some credit for trying. “The replacement is a bunch of corporate buildings to help spreading business down to the south. But I appreciate the effort,” she said with a sigh. One of the things she disliked most about being a Prideux was the fact that she couldnt just be like her father and wave a hand at something to just make it happen. She just kept swinging back and forth in a soothing motion.
She was just about to apologize herself but it seemed that he got ahead of her, apologizing for something that she felt had been her fault to begin with. She felt her cheeks warm up as he said he cared for her. She looked down into the sand and nodded. “I get that feeling,” she said before she stood up from the swing, wanting to stretch her legs. Maybe emotions wasnt really what they should be discussing now that they both seemed to agree that they sucked at it. “What was it like? Being a kid in a playground?” She asked as she went to a wooden balancing pole, or at least she assumed that was all it was good for.

She sat down on the pole, a part of her wishing she had some sort of fond memory popping up in her mind, but it was all blank. Only thing she really remembered was all the testing and a sense of loneliness. She wanted to hear his story because to her it couldnt be much worse than her own. Even if what he said was quite sad, she could tell that there were parts of it that was fond to him. And as bad as his parents were, at least he had them. “I see,” she mumbled as he said he couldnt see his parents after being put in the system. “I wish I could remember what it was like to be a kid. Though, with what I know, I’m probably better off not remembering,” she said with a shrug, fetching her lighter as he asked for it. She lit his cigarette and put the lighter back in her pocket, looking up at him as he smoked.
“Playgrounds were the kingdom and candy stores the market,” she chuckled but that was just what she had heard. She looked at the slide as she noticed how he looked at it, wrinkling her nose a little. “Your hips wouldnt even fit,” she teased him with a sweet yet devilish chuckle. She reached out for his cigarette as she got up, wanting just one whiff rather than having to light her own. She plucked it from his lips before he could comply or deny, placing the bud between her lips as she drew in a short breath of smoke. She handed him back the cigarette with an odd expression, “What shit brand are you smoking?” She asked as she exhaled the smoke again, shaking her head disapprovingly with a smile.

She hadnt realized that he was in some sort of trance looking at her, she was more occupied in being surprised about how shit she found his cigarettes. “I wouldnt even offer one of those to my worst enemy,” she chuckled, pulling her own packet out before she offered it to him, “You should at least know what you’re missing out on,” she said if he refused, not taking no for an answer.
His question made her frown as she wasnt sure where it was coming from, but she understood that she hadnt exactly been the best to show friendship. “Why cant it be both? That I like hanging out with you, but sometimes you say such bullshit that I’d want to kick your ass,” she said with a smile. She didnt really dislike that part of him, she just couldnt admit that hearing her talk about other girls made her hurt more than she showed.

“No,” she said truthfully, thinking he would have known if she wanted to do such a thing. But it was naive to think that he wouldnt wonder why she had asked him to come here of all places and not somewhere like home at Gareth’s. She looked out on the playground and made a shrug. “Well. I wanted to show you that despite how I act when we’re all together... That I trust you,” she said truthfully, walking over to the slide that was a big old wooden house that you had to crawl up the broken ladder to get into. “And I trust you enough to tell you that this is the place I go to be alone,” she said as she looked up at the wooden house, to then glance at him shortly. She felt far too honest and open for comfort, but she wanted to tell him. “And now it’s not just my place anymore,” she admitted, frowning a little to herself but she shook her head. She wasnt regretting this, but it was a little scary to her. “I’m being silly,” she mumbled, looking down at the sand.

She accepted the help, but there was no way she would crawl into the house, as she figured it either was some homeless guy’s home or where teenagers went to do things they wouldnt tell their parents about. She got up on the roof instead, hoping that it was sturdy enough to hold. She pulled her knees up under her chin and looked up at the stars as she listened to him speak. His words made her smile a little as she nodded, thinking she would never hear him confess such a thing again. Afterall he was Ethan and this wasnt much like the Ethan she thought she knew. “You and Gareth are the only people who think that,” she said with a sigh, somehow it felt uncomfortable to sit the way she did, especially as all she did was look up. Instead she laid down for a better view up, leaning her head against his shoulder simply because she didnt think she would ever get a chance to do that ever again without it being weird. “Do you know your constellations?” She asked as she tried to find the few she knew.

His answer made her chuckle because she found it quite typical. Not in a bad way, but at least she was sure that she was here with the actual Ethan and not one that was saying weird comforting things that she liked hearing. Leaning onto his shoulder was a bold move if not stupid. What was she really expecting? Though he hadnt pulled away, so she had to think he thought it was okay. As long as he wasnt just thinking that she was being really weird. She could alreay imagine Gareth and him laugh about how naive she was for thinking it was okay.
She almost thought that was what would happen as he adjusted himself, he would move away and she would feel dumber than ever. But then she felt his arm under her head, her cheeks flaring up as her heart made these small pounds that she begged he wouldnt hear. She looked up at the sky, feeling her mouth dry up as he asked her whether she knew any constellations. She eyed the nightsky and adjusted herself before she leaned just a little bit closer so her arm could work as a pointer. She showed the basic ones that she knew and gave some facts that she had gotten from a magazine, but she didnt know others. It felt nice, laying here with him like this. She then got an idea, smiling a little to herself. “Make up one,” she urged him with a smile.

Watching him smile like that made her stomach tingle with this happy feeling, but feeling him grab her hand made her hold her breath for a second. She followed his lead, trying to see what he saw, though she wouldnt have known until he explained. She laughed heartily and nodded as she saw the connection between the two, resting her cheek against his chest as she had to contain her laughter. She looked up again as he pointed at two stars, saying they were her, or else she wouldnt know who else it could be. His words made her expression turn a little serious as she looked at him. She didnt know if he was just playing tricks with her or if he actually meant those words. “Ethan,” she said, a little bewildered if not confused. “Dont play games with me,” she said a little vulnerable, folding her lips together. They were friends, she didnt want to be just some girl to him and all of a sudden she suspected that she was, only because of what she knew about him.

His apology made her think that she had been right to assume what she thought. That she was just some girl to him now that it was the two of them. It made her chest feel so tight to just think about. He of course denied it, but what was she supposed to think of it? She was clearly starting to just overthink it, taking his words and break them down until her mind found a way to tell her that she was right though she wanted to be wrong. He turned and she looked up at him, her eyes getting a little fluid as she desperately wanted to believe him. But she couldnt. Not at this point in time at least. She trusted him more than she trusted anyone, just not when it came to this. “It’s okay,” she mumbled as she looked away blinking a few times. “Just... dont say those kind of things. I’ll actually end up believing that you really mean them,” she said, looking back at him to shift between his green eyes in the dark. “You’re such a dumbass, Ethan Spencer,” she then said with a soft chuckle, not wanting the situation to get more serious than it just was. “But you’re a nice one,” she added, looking up at him with a gentle smile; a way she didnt just smile for anyone.

It was like a shift happened and he wasnt like he was when they had been looking at the stars. She had hoped they could bounce back and just go back to things feeling comfortable and nice, but now there was something else making it... colder? She sat up with him, looking a little at her feet before she nodded. “Alright yeah. Let’s go,” she said before she looked down. She moved onto the edge of the roof before she jumped down, landing on her feet before she brushed her clothes off. “What are you in the mood for?” She asked but she felt a little nervous now.

Chinese it was then. She didnt object because she didnt mind the food at all. Well it all tasted the same but she could unlike the rest of her kind get some nutrients from meat, as long as there were some blood in it. “There might be a corner shop instead. This is the southern district afterall,” she remarked before she followed him as he started walking. She looked back at the playground as they started gaining some distance on it, frowning to herself as it made her feel a whole mix of feelings.
She was quiet because he was quiet, trying her best not to think things through, but the silence wasnt helping. She frowned as he began talking about Darren, and even more as he started unfolding some sort of mystery. She wasnt really angry, she just hadnt seen it coming. “Darren and Ayalla?” She asked like she couldnt really believe it. Then she hummed to herself and shrugged. “I always had hopes for them though,” she then said, just to throw it out there. She stopped as they got to a corner store, pulling at his arm to follow her in if he wanted, but she was letting him know that she was going. She grabbed a pack of gum and a lighter before she went to the counter. She pointef out her favorite cigarette brand before she swiped her phonecase over the little machine to confirm the payment as she carried all her cards in that case. She handed him the lighter either inside or outside, thinking it wasnt that big of a deal to buy his lighter for him.

“If he’s crushing on her, I hope they’ll do something. Being in love with a friend like that and do nothing?” She began but then she sighed and shook her head. She knew she was projecting, only that she knew from her own experience that it was a heartbreaking thing. They got to the store and she wasnt that fond of how the clerk was eyeing Ethan either. But this was just the way it was down south.
She didnt know she had been hungry before they arrived at the place. She liked the inside of the place, how it was decorated so nicely despite not being used as a resturant that often. “Let’s get a table,” she said, walking up to a waiter as she asked for a table for two. She followed the waiter to the table, sitting down before she looked at the fish tank they were next to. She raised a hand to touch the glass carefully, looking at the big fish with a happy smile.