These happy places we go to

A small whimper fell from the human's mouth as he could hear Vanessa in his dreams. Why was she comforting him when she was also trying to leave him? He hugged her closer, hiding his face away in her hair as he kept sleeping. "Please ... I luv ya ... Don't go," he pleaded in to her hair. His breath was warm against her scalp, but he seemed too deep in his sleep to even realize what he was saying was out loud. He dreamt of her so often that it was just second nature to him, however his dreams were always her leaving him.
Truth was, Ethan had very bad abandonment issues. Perhaps that was why he jumped from girl to girl, breaking it off with them before they could break it off with him. He didn't speak about his past much, but Gareth knew a bit of it. However he had grown up in a rather bad part of Southern District, his mother a drug addict and his father both verbally and physically abusive. However he still seemed to cling on to some happiness, some real positivity when it came to his friends. Vanessa had come to symbolize everything he wished in his life; A good life with someone he cared about, but how could that ever be possible other places than in his dream?
He was slowly coming back to reality, shaking a little to get the feelings of the dream out of his system. Blinking a few times he just stared at her scalp. "Woah ... Sorry there, guess I fell asleep, huh?" he chuckled a bit, his voice a little hoarse and raw with emotions. He couldn't hate his dreams, because in them he had at least been with Vanessa before she left him. He could relive that over and over, and even though it pained him, there was also a sense of happiness in those dreams.

He chuckled, sniffling a bit as she asked what he had been dreaming about, closing his eyes and shaking his head a little. He didn't even know if he could lie about it. The emotions were still so fresh in him, and he just held her still, as if he couldn't let go. She moved, her face now so close to him and he just looked at her grey blue eyes, feeling like it was stinging in his heart. "Ya gonna make fun of me ... But sum'one special leaving me," he confessed, looking at her until she placed her forehead against his. He whimpered softly, closing his eyes as she caressed his face. He knew it was stupid to dream of her, but he couldn't control it.
"I guess ya think I'm weak; but people leaving me is the worst fear I have," he confessed. His hand resting on her hip, knowing that it was wrong of him to seek comfort in her when she was supposed to just be a friend. A friend that he felt so strongly for that she had claimed his heart without even trying. "It's not very cool to cry," he sniffled, chuckling sadly as he opened his eyes to look at her, a few tears running from his eye and down his cheek. Growing up crying was just viewed as being weak, and being weak wasn't acceptable when you were trying to navigate the world as a small kid. "Please don't tell anyone," he mumbled, looking down, hoping that she wouldn't just run off and tell their friend group.

No one probably knew just what Ethan carried, but then again he didn't want people around him to know. He wanted to be the funny yet weird guy. The one that had all the confidence in the world, but right now he felt so weak. And yet, he was strong enough to not just lean in and kiss her, because he knew it would be the end of him. "I'll be fine," he promised her. Even though he was crying right now it was only because of the dream and the fear of losing her. How could he ever pretend to move on when there hadn't even been something to begin with? It was all just a play in his head; A game of what-ifs that kept rolling over and over, but he knew they would never come to fruition.
Despite how broken he felt right now, there was something more comforting about waking up in her arms. Her sweet words, cooing him in to a sense of security and happiness. "Yeah, well-" he said, shrugging a bit as she removed his tears, chuckling a bit because it felt absurd. She was so close to him, closer than ever, and yet he didn't have the balls to just lean in and steal a simple kiss from her. Perhaps it was because a voice inside him told him that he would never be able to make her happy. That she was just too out of his league. Moving a hand up, he cupped her cheek, taking a moment to let his thumb caress her cheekbone softly. He looked at his thumb, almost dumbfounded that he was actually laying here with her. "I don't really like secrets," he mumbled, but it wasn't like he wanted the others to know either. Ethan had never cried in front of his friends, even though he had had rough days. "But I think ya one of the only ones I could do any'fing for," he confessed.

//Out <3333//