Family matters

Things were heating up, and Buffy had gathered up most of the family that at least took this seriously. They had decided to gather at Leona and Conrad's house, mostly as some sort of middle ground. The tension was high, Alyssa and Baal were there, along with some of Alyssa's trusted empusas, and it definitely created some friction. The seraphim there were all good fighters, some who disagreed with what Buffy had done to their bloodline.
"I need everybody to just shut up and listen!" Buffy said in a determined manner, looking around with her fiery eyes to silence everyone there, even the elders. Her brother Xander perked up, realizing that his sister was looking a lot like their mother right now. "This is not something of a joke, this is serious business and we need to work together on this," she said, gesturing to all of them gathered. After sending Saoirse away, she had heard a little from them, but they kept conversation vague and brief. Right now her main focus was on trying to team up this group of individuals who wanted to fight what had been unleashed.
"But how are we to trust the daemons? Was it not your own spouse who unleashed this madness?" one of the elder guardians protested. "Not out of free will, you should know better than anyone what you are willing to do to save those you love!" Buffy bit back, silencing the guardian. "Now, as it stands now the shadows have been mainly concentrated in Southern District, but they are edging closer to Central, and we can't have that," she spoke, pointing at a map where they had plotted in open rifts and spottings of these shadow daemon figures.

Baal just sat quietly, even if he had rested and gotten time to prepare for this meeting, he still felt so weakened. The flares in his marks had gone down a little, but he kept them covered by a long sleeved shirt either way; Just to avoid weird gazes from the seraphim that were coming to the meeting. "She's right. Listen to my niece, she knows far more than any of you combined!" Leona agreed, frowning a little as she could also see how much Buffy resembled Verona in this moment. She folded her hands and sent a stern look to the seraphim that were still a little on edge about being this close to a couple of daemons. "These shadows roaming the Southern district arent just your regular daemons. The news got that right," Leona said, though she had limited knowledge on the subject.
"Does your spouse have anything to say for himself?!" one seraph suddenly said, making Baal turn his eyes to her, before he looked at Buffy as if he was asking for permission to speak. "If it hadnt been me, then it would have been someone else, as Bael has probably willed this himself. The part of the artifact that I have in my body makes me able to open rifts to the Abyssus, but it also means that I can close them again. To my knowledge, no one else can do either of those. I could be wrong, but so far, we've got the upper hand in this," he explained, still a little weak in tone but he was trying to be strong for Buffy.

Buffy stepped back to let Baal speak, she knew he was weak right now, but the fact that he was even here showed how great his strength really was. Alyssa sat with her arms folded, her empusas behind her, weary of the seraphim in the room. She didn't like this one bit, the seraphim seemed practically untamed, as if they couldn't use any of that light they all claimed to have in their heart. Buffy nodded at Baal's explanation, stepping up beside him. "I know not all of you accept who I've chosen as my companion, I know it breaks a lot of rules that you have set in place, but do you not see that if we are to end this trouble we have to work together?" she said, taking Baal's hand, making a few of the elder shake their heads at her. They had a hard time believing anything else than they had been taught, and that was that daemons were deceiving and could not be trusted under any circumstance.
There suddenly was a knock at the door and the whole room went quiet. The knock came again and Alyssa got up to answer the door. There was a few words exchanged before a male voice cried out and soon enough Alyssa tossed the daemon in to the living room. "Aelius scum!" she spat at the black haired daemon laying on the floor, wincing in pain. "No, please, I come in peace!" Jasper pleaded, holding up his hands. He didn't look good, quite frankly he looked like someone who had already taken a beating. "I should rip out your tongue!" Alyssa hissed, stepping on his hand, keeping him on the floor and crying out in pain.
"Alyssa, that's enough, let him speak," Buffy protested, much to the displeasure of the empusa. Alyssa stepped away and Buffy helped the daemon up in a chair to sit down. There was dirt all over his face, his clothes unclean and his body generally unkept, making a lot of the seraphim present wrinkle their nose in disgust. "Why are you here?" Buffy asked in a more gentle tone.
Jasper took some time to gather himself, shaking a little as he eyed Alyssa carefully before looking at Buffy and then Baal. "Because I don't want Simeon to come back," he whimpered.

Leona had to admit that she too once had shared the same narrow vision as the rest of the elders, but since she had Tessa and had gotten as close to Buffy as she did, she couldnt just stick to those old views. Baal felt her hand around his, giving it a soft squeeze, even if it made some of the older seraphim look disgusted. He was far to focused at the task at hand, but he also thought that they were focusing on the wrong things to not worry themselves too much. Seeing Jasper Aelius being thrown into the living room seemed to make everyone turn their head to the cambion. Baal wasnt sure how he felt about him. He had been there when Raziela had pulled Buffy's soul from her body, but it was easy to tell that he was just sticking around for the sake of not being alone. His whimper made Baal frown a little, but he left the room for a second to come back with a wet cloth that he offered Jasper. He looked to the rest, noticing how all the seraphim just seemed to stick to their hatred. "They wont listen," he finally said, looking at Buffy, not because he wanted to give up but it did seem like a pointless battle. "They'd rather focus on the fact that there are daemons in a seraphim home, rather than the fact that ancient daemons are going to destroy this world," he said, before he looked at his sister. It seemed to make Leona a little angry, slamming her hand on the table. "Anyone who has a problem with these daemons being in this house, make your leave now! But dont expect the rest of us to come to your aid!" she yelled, looking around at her own kin with disappointment in her eyes. But it didnt seem to matter as the majority started to get up. Leona face filled with disbelief.

Buffy sighed, nodding at Baal's words. Maybe it was hopeless to think that the family would help when daemons were involved. As Leona got up, she felt in awe, seeing her aunt actually defend this meant a lot. Buffy knew she hadn't picked a mate that was quote on quote suitable for the Elior line, but the fact that her aunt was there to support her meant a lot.
As the seraphim got up, Jasper had managed to clean up his face relatively, shaking a little as he stood up. "Don't leave; At least not what you see what is happening," he said, his voice weak, afraid and yet determined to show this to them. Raziela had scoffed at this, but he needed someone to take it seriously. He rolled up his sleeve, revealing what could best be described as a black ink covering most of his forearm. "I came in to contact with some of those ... Those weird shadows," he said, swallowing as he looked at his darkened skin. It looked almost like it was rotting from the inside out.
Buffy looked at the black skin, her eyes widening as she saw how it was almost alive under the poor daemon's skin. Some of the family stopped, walking closer to inspect it and frowned in disbelief. Xander got closer, taking the daemon's arm carefully and inspecting it. "It's unholy energy," he said, looking around at his family members before looking at Jasper with serious eyes. "Just a bit of that can kill a couple of seraphim and even clergys," he said, turning to look at Leona. It was clear they needed to make up their minds now about what to do.
"Can you make an antidote?" Buffy asked, looking at her brother with worried eyes. If that amount of unholy energy got out there wouldn't be any telling in how much damage it could cost. How many lives could be lost. "Maybe, but not alone," he muttered, looking out at his family members. Though the family was largely matriarchal, he did have somewhat of an influence. "But I'll need help."

Seeing Jasper's arm made even Baal look a little distraught. It wasnt a normal sight, it was far worse than that time he had gotten infected from being pulled through the void. "Did it touch you?" he asked him, looking at the arm with an analyzing gaze. He could feel the evil power in whatever was in it and so could the artifact, even if he was a few meters away. Luckily Xander seemed to see feel the same and disclosed for all what it was. Seeing the blackened arm made some stay, but others still chose to make their leave in the belief that it was up to the daemons themselves to solve this rather clear daemon-issue that was at hand. Leona shook her head at them but would feel no remorse if they one day would regret their choice. "Let them go," she just said, dismissing them with a wave of her hand. She looked to Xander and drew in a deep breath. "We will need to work with the clergies to form that antidote. If it's unholy power, they will know how to undo it," she said, drawing in a deep breath. "Take him to the temples. Take Ivory. I will send Connor your location," she said, nodding at Ivory that was one of the Eliors who also knew a fair bit about brewing medicine and cleansing wounds. Then she looked at everyone else. "Get back to your seats. We need to discuss our next move," she said, waiting for everyone to back to the table before she gestured for Buffy to take over.

Jasper shrugged, because he didn't know what had happened in the moment, the next thing he remembered was just this black spot in his arm spreading. He didn't know what would happen once it had spread to all of him, so he followed Ivory to the temples where some clergy could hopefully help him.
Xander sighed, sitting back down and looking rather disappointed at the serpahim that decided to leave. He guessed that he now knew who his true family was. Buffy thanked her aunt as she went on to explain where there had been sightings and where some had claimed to see rifts. "I feel like we need to be careful, if that unholy energy spreads, it could prove fatal to the whole country, and it doesn't seem to discriminate between daemon and seraph," she said, looking at Alyssa with worried eyes. The empusa stood forward, her back straightened and her eyes piercing as always. "I have plenty of empusa under me that I can trust, all of them willing to put their life on the line to protect this world," she spoke rather manner-of-factly, but she was clearly leading this conversation somewhere. "I have spoken with Leona, seeing as she is an experienced valkyrie, her and I have devised a strategy, but it will take groups of two; One daemon and one seraph," she spoke, making both daemons and seraphim start to chatter.
Buffy placed a hand on Alyssa's shoulder. "You have no reason to trust each other, but in this case you only need to tolerate each other and work in shifts to guard the city and find the rifts. For now it's more important to locate these rifts than to close them," Buffy explained, looking at Baal. He was too weak to just be going around to close all of the rifts off by himself, it would take too much energy out of him at this point. "We have some clergy already looking at old texts, trying to see if there are something we might do to just seal off the rifts temporarily," she said.

It quieted down real quick as the women spoke, while Baal was listening to it all, he decided to sit down a little away from the rest, placing his elbow on the armrest of the chair he was sitting in before he leaned down to hold a hand over his face. One seraph seemed to notice and frowned. "Do we even know if he's capable of closing them? Has he done it before?" she asked, because she really doubted it from how weak he seemed. "No. We're not certain. But there will only be one way to find out for sure," Leona said, not showing what she herself believed. It didnt really matter what she believed at least according to herself. "If we just focus at the task at hand and nothing else, no one should have a problem with working together, even daemons and seraphim," she declared, looking around at all the seraphim that remained. "What about the Aeliuses? Are we supposed to be watching them in case Simeon does come back?" a daemon asked with a worried tone.

Buffy walked to Baal, placing a hand on his shoulder, hoping it would give him some sort of comfort. She looked at the crowd, knowing that they had every right to doubt him, but she found it did mean anything what they thought. She had faith in him. "My aunt is right, for now we need to contain and watch for now - what the Aelius daemon just showed us could mean much more danger is on it's way," she spoke calmly, but it seemed that the mention of that family made the daemons worry, at least those who had known Simeon.
"Surveilling them could be very dangerous," Alyssa hummed, a thoughtful gaze in her eyes. She looked at Baal and Buffy, she knew what Simeon had done to them, and she knew how the daemon she had once been married to could prove fatal. "For now we can't do much more than watch them from afar, perhaps Jasper has some intel that could be useful, but I doubt it," she hummed. She didn't trust Raziela enough to confront her, and the crazed empusa was clearly not afraid of giving up everything to have the eldest Aelius back. Alyssa also didn't know if she trusted Andrew, he might've not agreed with his brother, but he followed orders that was for the benefit of the family, and Elora was a wildcard if anything. "I'll go to the family myself, they were once my family by marriage, so perhaps I can talk openly with them," she finally sighed, knowing it was a risk. Andrew could crush her skull in with one hand if he wanted, and as feral as Raziela was right now, she probably wouldn't leave without a fight.

It didnt really seem that the Aeliuses were as dangerous as they were rumoured to be. Anyone would think that the family was just a mess waiting to fall apart, but those who knew the family, knew how the siblings inevitably would do anything for each other. Morals or opinions, even rules didnt matter, which was why they were so dangerous. "Raziela is currently missing an arm. Maybe offering her the means to regain it would gain you their favour for the time being," Baal spoke, lifting his other hand to place over Buffy's that was on his shoulder. He looked up at his sister and sighed. "I dont want you to go alone," he remarked, but he was far too weak to offer going with her. Even if he wanted to. But who else wouldnt just be killed on sight? They were the blood of Bael, they had that over the Aeliuses heads.

"Oh, so you're suggesting men taking someone with me as a weakness?" Alyssa asked in a scoff, shaking her head. There was no way she would take anyone with her, it would be too stupid to bring another person in the risk of getting hurt. "And I know you aren't suggesting yourself, you're way too weak and too easy of a target," the addition was not to diminish his meaning in all of this, but rather to point out his state. If he was going to close up all the portals, he would need his strength.
Buffy gave Baal's shoulder a light squeeze, "perhaps Alyssa is right, she's more than capable of protecting herself, right?" Looking at Alyssa for some sort of confirmation. "I don't know, but Andrew used to have a soft spot for me for going through everything Simeon did," she said, breathing out in a sigh. Maybe that could be her way in to all of this.

"We also cant risk losing the only shot we have at closing these portals," Leona remarked a little more firm, mostly because there was no saying what they were supposed to do if the Aeliuses decided to take the summoner and withhold him from returning. Baal gave Buffy's hand a soft squeeze at her words, knowing she was right. Maybe he was just over-worrying, it wouldnt have been the first time. "Just be careful," he said. Leona looked back at the table. "The rift here in Western," she said, pointing to the woods where Baal and Buffy had been a few days ago, waiting for everyone to be looking before she continued. "We should use the opportunity here to surround the portal and monitor it's function. That way we can catch anything that might come out, and figure out if those shadows can be put back in," she suggested, a few nodding in agreement but she looked to Buffy for her approval.

Alyssa nodded but quickly turned her attention to the map as Leona went on to speak. The empusa might've not liked the valyrie, but she bore a lot of respect for her. "However despite the fact that they might exit here, they seem to migrate to Southern, so we should have some people out there helping the general population avoid contact," Alyssa said calmly, not interrupting Leona, but rather adding to what they had already discussed.
Buffy sighed, sitting down on the arm rest of Baal's chair, just sitting there with her hand snuggly under his. She was present, but her mind was with their daughter, and she knew she should be in the moment. "Amos wrote that they had arrived safely," she whispered to him, looking at the gathering of daemons and seraphim looking on as Leona spoke. "I just wish I could hear her voice telling me she's alright," she whispered, but she knew that Saoirse still had healing to do after the brutal attack. Swallowing she looked at their hands. "When the meeting is over, I want to talk to you," was all she could really say before she returned to listening to her aunt.
Xander was standing there as well, helping delegate the healers relatively spread out, and sending some of the more experienced ones to be at the temple with the clergy. The ones with the most knowledge might have a chance at finding something that could banish the unholy mark that Jasper had showed.

"We can only do as much as with the people we have available. We also have to trust that the authorities will do their part," Leona said with a sigh, though it was probably hard to know what to do when there was so much confusion regarding where these shadows even came from. But telling the public what they knew would just cause panic and scare the general population.
The summoner sat quietly, listening to the others speak as he kept his gaze down. As Buffy whispered to him, he leaned in to listen to her, drawing in a deep breath at her words. "Well she's still healing," he mumbled quietly, looking up at her while she was looking at their hands. He still felt guilty about what happened to Saoirse, mostly because they hadnt really gotten to talk about what had happened and all he could recall was her crying at his feet. "Alright," he whispered, giving her hand a soft squeeze before he leaned back into the chair and returned to listen in on what the others discussed. Small chatter had started among the two species once again, and Leona finally decided to shush them rather than incite another argument. "We wont learn more by staying in here, arguing about daemon and seraphim opinion on the other. So lets sort out the teams and learn what these shadows really are," Leona said, looking at Alyssa before she looked at Buffy and Baal, then to the rest of the people present.

Alyssa didn't mind taking over where Leona left of. Strangely it seemed like the two rounded each other out, a strange thought indeed, but maybe two opposites could work together in this. "I have a list of pairs that Leona and I have created, dividing everyone fairly equally, evaluated from your strength and weaknesses," Alyssa said as she started calling out names in pairs. Each team was divided into night and day and were given an area code that they were responsible for. When most of the people had left Alyssa sighed, running a hand through her short hair. She had cut it just to be free of having to put it up constantly. "Could you pass a message on to my son?" she asked Leona, knowing that asking Buffy right now might be too much. Alyssa was very proud of what her son was doing, but that didn't mean she wanted them to be unknowing of what was going on here in Churchill. "I just want him to know all the basic things that we have learned from this - He's a smart kid, he'll know how to protect not only Saoirse but your husbands family as well, should it reach Aurvandil," she spoke rather manner-of-factly.

Once everyone had more or less left, Buffy walked over to look out the windows, sighing as she was tired, but she didn't really feel at home in her own house right now. It felt so empty without Saoirse blasting music or having friends over. She did have Baal, but he was still healing, and fact of the matter was she felt like he was holding back on so many things. They had barely had any time in private together, they hadn't spoken about everything that had happened, and it was so unlike them. "We should be heading home now, thank you for everything today, auntie," she sighed, smiling tiredly at Leona before she went to Alyssa to thank her as well. The exchange of words were brief but it was always like that with Alyssa. Buffy walked to Baal, holding out her hand and with her eyes pleading for them to head home. He was tired as well, she could see it, and he needed his rest if he wanted to even try and close some of those portals.
Outside was cold, but she had called for a taxi and once inside the vehicle she leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes for a while. She wasn't sleeping, but her head was filled with worry, and her thoughts racing at a million miles an hour. Once the car came to a stop she sighed, paying for the fare as she exited. She was awfully silent, but it was more a fact of her sleepiness rather than her being in a certain mood. However she still wanted to talk when they got inside.
Hanging up her jacket, she unpacked herself from her outerwear before heading to the bedroom, hoping he would follow. Sitting down on the end of the bed, she took off her pants and socks, sighing softly before she looked up at him. "Will you sit down beside me?" she asked, feeling her heart race in her chest, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. If he did, she would move her hand over, touching his thigh gently. "Belial ... I want to get married," she said, not really knowing where to look, so she just looked down.

Sure, they had spoken about marriage, but this time she was being serious. "Not right this moment, but soon," she said, knowing it might've come out of nowhere, but she just needed this. She felt his hand on her own, carefully looking up his chest until her gaze reached his eyes. He sounded worried, but he had every right to be. His question just made her sigh, turning her hand around and entangling her fingers with his. "I don't want to live with any regrets," she said rather seriously. She had always shown how fierce she was, how she wasn't afraid to go after what she wanted, and perhaps it was better to explain things as they were.
"While you've been gone, I've been spending a lot of time with my aunt ... But not just talking, she has been training me in some basic self defense and while you might not think it be a good idea, I needed to do something while you were gone," she spoke, looking down at their hands, feeling her emotions well up, but she wasn't crying. "I wanted to be able to protect Saoirse in case anything happened - Maybe not for unlimited amounts of time, but enough so that she could escape so to speak," she went on, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Buffy would do anything for those she loved, she was not self destructive, but rather self sacrificing if it meant that those she loved would go unscathed.
"I want to marry you because I love you ... But I also want to marry you because if something happens ... I-I don't want to live or die with any regrets about what we got to do together," she said, looking at his eyes with a softness in her own green. "You've made me a mother, you've made me fight for myself, you've made me stronger ... But the last thing on that list is you making me your wife."

It definitely did feel out of nowhere and the reason why he thought she was suggesting it now of all times, was scary to him. Especially as she spoke of not living with any regrets. It wasnt really something that surprised him, but he was afraid that she thought something would happen to her. "I dont think you being able to fend for yourself is a bad idea." he assured her because she clearly seemed to think otherwise. He was just terrified of the thought of her in danger. It was the last thing he ever wanted for her. His eyes softened up as she went on but he still couldnt figure out how he felt about it.
"Dont say it as if it's final," he finally said as she started listing things, lifting her hand up to hold it closer to his chest. "We've still got so many things that we need to do together. Marriage is not the end of the list, only the beginning of it," he said in a calm tone but he felt far from calm. He looked down at their hands and lifted hers to kiss the back of it. "But marrying you just in case neither of us will make it through this? That thought alone is so hurtful," he admitted, giving her hand a soft squeeze. He felt tears in his eyes but ignored them at this point, mostly because he was too exhausted to even acknowledge that he could cry. "... I cant do that. I have to believe that we'll make it, both of us, to the end of this. And then we can marry for the whole world to see if necessary."

He held her hand close to his chest, and part of her knew that this was his answer, but it only made her more sad. Taking in a few uncertain breaths she shook her head as she just looked at her hand over his heart. She loved him, oh more than anything, but could she really break his heart now? "Belial, I'm begging you to marry me," she whispered, a few tears betraying her, rolling down her cheeks. He spoke of their marriage being the beginning, but she was afraid of what she knew. Or rather, what she didn't. It was said that a fenix had a short lifespan, everybody knew that, but besides their flames in their eyes, their dreams had a lot to say regarding their lifespan.
"I haven't dreamt of anything past this month," she finally said. She normally had so vivid dreams about their future together, she had seen all of the children they would get, but now when she dreamt it was all an empty void. "I don't want to scare you ... But when a fenix stops dreaming about far off things it's not a good sign," it was a tough pill to swallow, but she had just thought that it was because of the rift. That maybe somehow the Abyssus were interfering with her dreams, but it didn't seem realistic anymore. "I want to be your wife in this life and all of the rest if I can find my way back to you," she said, looking at him with worried eyes.

"Please dont." he whispered back, shaking his head as he looked away. It was like a nightmare scenario of a kind, her speaking of the lack of dreams she was having. He frowned and just held her hand close, not saying anything but rather processing it. But what was there really to process? If she died, he wouldnt know what to do or how to handle the loss. "There are no good signs lately," he mumbled, lifting his other hand to put around hers that he held onto quite dearly, wrapping it around the back like he was shielding it. "You have to make it through this," he paused, staring at a blank spot for a moment before he tried to speak again. "I cant..." followed by another pause before he finally closed his eyes and let out a trembling breath. "I have to hold onto that hope," he said, looking at her with pleading eyes. "What about our daughter? Our family?" he whispered, feeling his heart hurt at the mere thought of losing her. No it just wasnt a possibility, even if it was a hope out of insanity.

Gritting her teeth as he looked away, she felt her heart sink. He loved her, and she loved him, what was wrong with her asking this of him? She was terrified of leaving something behind and spend her next life imagining what-ifs. She spoke of her dreams, or rather the lack thereof, and she felt how he clung to her. She looked down as he turned to her with pleading eyes. His words cut through her heart, ripping her up from the inside. "The bond ... I'll eventually find my way back to you," she whispered, closing her eyes as she removed her hand from his grip, getting up on her feet. Pacing a bit she removed some of her rogue tears before she stopped and looked at him.
"I don't get to choose how long my life is," she said, feeling her head heavy with thoughts and worry. "Do you think I want to go? No! I haven't experienced all I want yet," she said, her voice firm, but soft because of the subject. She moved over, sitting down on his lap, just because removing herself from him was not what she wanted right now. If she was going to die, she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. "Of course marriage isn't the last thing on my list," she whispered, moving some of his curls away from his face, hooking a stray strand behind his ear. "I want to travel the world with you; I don't know, get a dog and-" she grabbed his hand, placing it on her stomach, her own over his, "-I want more kids."
Swallowing she looked down. She knew how dangerous her last pregnancy had been, but looking at Saoirse it had been worth it. She wanted a big family, as many children as Baal were willing to bless her with, but if this life was coming to an end for her, there wasn't enough time. "I love you, Belial, and I don't want to lose sight of what is important, but only dreaming of darkness makes me desperate."

He couldn't. How could he say that? Buffy looked down, ashamed of herself. Had she really been blind to what he wanted? Then he spoke about her not understanding, feeling her eyes water, because how could he say that? Had she not endured half a year without him? "Don't talk to me about being left behind to comfort our daughter," she reminded him. Was that time nothing to him now? She felt her head overflowing with questions that she would never get an answer to. He removed his hand and walked away from her, leaving her with an empty feeling.
"You knew what I was before getting together with me ... You knew that my life would be shorter, and I really thought that you had accepted that fact," she said, not knowing if he was even listening. Her heart felt like it was breaking, like he was trying to let go of her or something. "I'm sorry that I wasn't born with immortality, is that what you want to hear?" Her body was shaking a little from fear and hurt, wrapping her arms around herself. She had always known that her life would be short, she just hadn't expected her life to be this short. She hadn't even really gotten a chance to live, but here she was, faced with the uncertainty of death.
"Do you think I'm happy that I'll forget? Do you really think I haven't lied awake for months, fearing not even recognizing my child?" tears were streaming down her cheeks now, shaking her head. "I know you want everything done the right way, I know you have a certain way of viewing the world, and I love you for that; But the one time I want to be selfish? The only time where I genuinely ask something of you, you can't?" she whispered, grabbing her pants to pull them on along with her socks. She needed air, she felt like she was going to suffocate if she didn't get out.
She walked out their shared bedroom, in to the hallway where she put on her outerwear, as well as shoes and a hat just to keep warm. "I need air," was all she could mutter before going outside in the cold. She knew it was dangerous for a fenix to be out in this weather, but she also needed that feeling of wind in her face just to breathe.

Buffy didn't walk far outside, her head ringing with their arguments. She knew it wasn't the healthy way of dealing with things to just walk away, but he had started it by removing himself from her. If she couldn't be comforted, why just stand there and cry when she could cry elsewhere? From above snow was starting to fall, landing on her hat and the parts of her hair that wasn't covered. It was cold, but she felt so heated from the argument that it was like soaking herself in an ice bath. Walking around to their backyard she just stood by the trees, breathing out heavily to calm herself.
By Faeth, she knew she was stubborn, but she had never asked much of Baal. She had made him decide what was best for them, she had only made suggestions and now that she really wanted something she felt so hurt. Couldn't he see that she wasn't trying to hurt him? That she just wanted their time together to be happy and filled with good memories? Just thinking about that made her cry again, sitting down under the big willow as she wrapped her arms around herself. She had done this before, the first night she had to spend without Baal she had sat under the willow tree and cried her eyes out just so that Saoirse wouldn't be able to hear her.
Snow was falling quietly around her, sticking to the ground and shining in the faint moonlight. The fenix just sat there, crying until she felt like she couldn't cry anymore. Of course crying would solve nothing, but it helped getting her raw emotions out. She didn't know if Baal was too proud to come look for her, but it didn't really matter. The cold was something tangible to her, it was a feeling she knew and it sort of grounded her back to reality when her mind kept spiraling.