Family matters

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⌈June - 2022⌋

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My my my, here we are again. We apologize for the radio silence, but as life has been keeping both admins busy like bees, we are happy to finally write a small news update for you. Things are happening on our small site, and we …

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⌈December - 2021⌋

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It is time once again for some news. The year is coming to an end and what a year it has been! We've held our first world event, welcomed new and old players and seen as your creativity has sprung freely in the …

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⌈September - 2021⌋

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Wow, has it really been 5 months since our last news update? Well Summer has come and gone, and today we close up the world event that has been running since December of last year. But with the event ending we are now faced with the …

Happy Easter and a Couple of Updates!
⌈April - 2021⌋

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First of all, happy easter for those who celebrate! Though we'll all be celebrating differently, we'd like to wish you a good time either way. 2021 has now had it's first three months, and as we are now entering …

Finishing Off the Year & Upcoming World Event
⌈December - 2020⌋

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With the year of 2020 nearing its end, we thought it would be optimal to do a small round-up of how the year has been, what has happened and unveil some plans for the future. 2020 has for many been …

Subject: Re: Family matters Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:28 pm

Being in the house all alone just felt too cold. Even if the air was warmer than ever because they never wanted Buffy to freeze, it was a different cold like in the soul kind of cold. He went to the hallway, because he knew where she was. But somehow something was stopping him from going out to seek her out. He felt so unlike himself because when had anything ever stopped him from going? He lifted a hand and felt at his chest. “You’ve let her down,” a faint dark daemonic tone spoke in the back of his mind, but it sounded like someone behind him. He quickly turned his head to the darkness, flipping on a switch. “She’ll never forgive you,” another tone alike the other sounded from a different part of the house, like something waiting around the corner. It was like these whispers knew the deepest of fears inside of him and now spoke them so loudly he couldnt even shut them out. “Leave!” Another hissed and the others followed like an echo. “You’re a coward anyway,” the hissing continued with the thousand echos on top of each other. He clenched his hand to a fist, but unsure what to do with the anger. The marks started to flare and he felt a different energy surge in. He looked towards the garden but shook his head. If he was starting to get unstable now, it wasnt certain what he would end up doing. He did what he always thought was best; Leave. He got dressed and felt the bitter guilt but couldnt see any other way. Was he a coward? Most probably. But he wasnt dumb and he was far too paranoid to risk anything.

Subject: Re: Family matters Fri Feb 05, 2021 5:03 pm

As some time had passed she finally got back on her feet. Her body was shaking a bit from the cold, and it was about time she went in and had some heat back in her body. She just hoped that Baal was still there and hadn't walked out in frustration with her. Maybe that was a tad bit rich coming from her when she had done exactly that.
Coming in from the front door she saw him getting dressed, and part of her felt like she was seeing something she shouldn't have. His marks were burning, his eyes wild almost and the fear hit her that she had been the one to do this to him. "Belial, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just ... To just walk out like that," she whispered, her body shivering from the cold as she closed the door behind her. It was already so late. Was he leaving? Her tears had dried on her skin, her cheeks rosy from the cold outside and her fingers trembling as she started taking off her jacket. Getting out of her jacket she kicked off her shoes before walking to him. If he would even have her near anymore. "I know I'm stubborn and selfish, I'm just so afraid of losing you," she whispered, reaching out to touch his cheek. He was warm, burning warm almost, but she excused it away with her own body being so cold right now.
"Don't leave, please ... It would just hurt more," her words coming out as begging because she couldn't quite figure out what was going on in his head.

Subject: Re: Family matters Fri Feb 05, 2021 10:45 pm

He heard her enter and he stopped in his steps, just looking down as he wasnt sure what to say. It did feel like getting caught in the act, like stealing a cooking from the cookie jar. The marks burned and the warmth was uncomfortable, but also was the fact that he could tell she was looking at them as well. "I dont want to hurt you," he mumbled as she stepped closer but he wasnt physically showing restraint. He let her touch him, looking at her with saddened eyes. "I-" he started but stopped, sighing instead of speaking what was on his mind. The voices had won, he felt like he had let her down in a way he hadnt imagined he would. Even if she was begging him not to leave, how could he stay? "I have these whispers in my mind. And it's like they know just what to say to break me down," he finally mumbled. It may have sounded weird, but it did make sense at least to anyone knowing of the artifact lodged in his chest. "I want to be strong for you. But I guess I'm not that man I once was," he said in a bitter tone, clenching his jaw shortly.

Subject: Re: Family matters Fri Feb 05, 2021 11:32 pm

Oh, it was worse than she thought. Was it the artifact acting up? She cupped his face between her palms, looking in to his eyes as he explained about the voices, and then he said he wasn't who he used to be, making her shake her head no. "Don't say that Belial, look at me," she whispered. No, she was not going to let those voices win. She was not going to let him believe those lies. His jaw was clenched, and she felt that tense feeling in his body. "I'm just too stubborn for my own good, and this is not going to get between us; Do you understand that?" she said in a rather firm voice. This was just a small argument, a boiling point for their emotions and being on edge about all that had happened. "Can you really look at me right now and say you don't want me?" she asked, holding her breath slightly, nervous because what if the voices had convinced him of that too? "I could never want anyone more than you, Belial, I could never be happy without you - The voices might be amplifying your insecurities and worries, but look at where we are," gesturing to their surroundings. Buffy wasn't afraid of him hurting her physically, she wasn't afraid of getting burned, but she would never recover if he decided to leave her like this.
"This is our home, a house that is made of bricks and wood, but it is so much more than that; It's our safe place, it's where we can talk things out, we can get mad and yell and then we can figure out what to do next," was it naive to think that they could do that? Sure, they never really fought, but their arguments were just that; Simple disagreements that they could talk out and solve together. "I don't want to spend these days fighting ... I want to spend them with you as close to me as possible."

Subject: Re: Family matters Sun Feb 21, 2021 3:55 am

Maybe he was just bound to be this way. Fleeing when things were getting too tough. He felt pathetic and weak, and the whispers only seemed to make it worse. Because they were right. What was she seeing in someone who was as weak as him? Who only knew how to hurt and condemn those he loved to pain? Her voice was firm and he really wanted to believe her words. Truly. But a part of him just couldnt in this moment. But then she said something that made his eyes harden. Of course not. The voices could be cruel and convincing but he would never feel different for her. He shook his head and listened to her. Even looked around at her gesture to then look back at her. But it was hard, way harder than any obstacle he had ever met, he belived. “I dont want to fight either,” he mumbled, looking at her with conflicted eyes. “But... the voices were right. I am a coward, for not making you my wife... for not protecting our daughter... for losing the internal battle in me..” he said with pauses, feeling his heart sink for every pause. He looked down. “But I’m nothing at all if I’m without you,” he then said, frowning to himself as he bit down to stop his jaw from trembling. Talking wasnt helping but he wasnt trying to seem frustrated even if he felt it.

Subject: Re: Family matters Sun Feb 21, 2021 8:20 pm

"You're not a coward, Belial, you are the bravest person I know," she said softly, her eyes more gentle now as he seemed to still doubt himself. Still holding his face between her hands, she looked at him, sighing softly to herself before she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her as she felt her emotions still running wild, but losing him to this doubt was not an option. "Let's stay up a little while longer," she whispered, nuzzling her head against his cheek.
"We clearly need to talk this all out, we need to look at all of this more logically than just emotion based," she said. She knew it was unlike her to focus on logic this way, she was always so driven by her emotions, but he needed this. "Faeth works in strange ways, maybe this is simply a test of fate or perhaps it's just me being stressed out all the time," she said.

Subject: Re: Family matters Sun Mar 07, 2021 10:58 pm

He knew that talking everything out might have been what had been for the best of the both of them. But as she held his face and made him feel like they werent in the middle of mass destruction of the world, he felt so selfish for taking a moment for himself, even before she had suggested it. He wrapped his arms around her as she did him and held her close. But his words felt a little heavy in his throat before he spoke them. "Buffy. I dont think we've got the liberty to sit down and talk everything out for now," he said, looking at her with more serious eyes. "You are right. Maybe our fates are being tested, but before we can assure that innocents wont succumb to whatever hell that has been released, we've got a task to focus on," he said, rubbing her back a little careful. He really wanted to be selfish for her, for them. But he couldnt, not with the conflict inside of him and the looming danger around the corner.

Subject: Re: Family matters Mon Mar 08, 2021 8:01 am

Breathing out through her nose she nodded softly. She understood, she could understand that he felt the guilt building inside of him because he had opened the portal, not that she would ever blame him for such a thing. "But still, we need to take care of ourselves for a bit before we can help others," she argued. Even if they didn't feel like they could take the time, they had to at least settle this before going to bed. "My Belial," she whispered softly, kissing his cheek gently, running her fingers up in his hair, massaging his scalp lightly. "If we can't talk this out, then I want us to at least get some rest before tomorrow ... For now my aunt has things covered, and we'll help out as soon as we've rested up," of course resting could not solve everything, but not getting sleep could make them fall in to a fatal mistake when they were out and about.
Her mind wandered to their daughter, worrying once again, feeling her own guilt as she knew she couldn't protect that girl even if she wanted to. Saoirse was strong, but she was young and inexperienced. The only comfort she had was the fact that she was surrounded by family and that Amos was by her side. Even if Buffy didn't completely understand their relationship, she had seen how the daemon had been affected as Saoirse had been carried in to the house. A small shiver ran down her spine just thinking about it, but she pulled away from Baal, still holding him, but trying to catch his eyes. "I love you," she whispered, trying not to give away how upset she was, but it was just her mind running wild.

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