Butterflies

"Wouldn't know, have only been in Churchill," she muttered, flashing a brief smile, before returning her gaze to the sea. It was pretty, but it just seemed so wide, so big and it was actually making her a bit nauseous to think about. What could be hiding under those seemingly inviting waves?
The question took her out of her thoughts, looking a bit surprised which the valkyrie apparently picked up on, reassuring her it wasn't some crazy artistic thing. Nodding she smiled at the lens of the camera, even if it was just her phone. She was still holding Tessa's hand, and as she saw it on the screen, she let go of her hand, frowning to herself.

"Same... Kinda," she chuckled. She had been other places but not really somewhere with a beach at least. She smiled as the hybrid agreed to a picture, deciding that a selfie would be just fine. She lifted her camera and felt as Theodosia let go of her hand. She was a little surprised but decided that it would be weird to go into it. She leaned a little closer to the hybrid before she made a bright smile and counted down before taking a picture. "And now a silly one!" she said before she pulled a weird expression and chuckled. She looked at the pictures afterwards and sighed. "These are going on my wall. I love them," she said happily, looking at Theodosia before showing her.

Maybe it was just Theodosia trying to not be weird, but then accidentally turning it weird anyways. Holding Tessa's hand was nice, it made her heart beat a little faster and she genuinely felt rather empty letting go of it. However if they were to take pictures, she just knew that all she would think about was holding her friend's hand, and not the moment they were in. She pulled a silly expression, sticking out her tongue and crossing her eyes. However afterwards as she looked at the pictures she just had this hollow feeling in her chest.
"Yeah, you look great," she said, as always, she thought, breathing out as she looked as the screen faded to black. Why was she making this weird? "I, uhm, should really be heading home and do my homework," she said, moving her hands to her pockets, digging them deep as if to distract herself.

"I wouldnt say I look as good as you, dont be so modest," she chuckled and shook her head at her friend. But then she frowned, realizing that something again wasnt as it should be. "Hey, hey. What's wrong?" she asked, shifting between her eyes, even if she wasnt looking at her. Tessa didnt want her to be sad, so if there was anything she could do, she wanted to help her. She clenched her jaw while thinking about what could be wrong, looking around before she saw a bench. "I cant help but feel like I did something wrong?" she asked, looking at Theodosia with worried eyes.

She had done it again, hadn't she? Made things weird. By the gods, why couldn't she just act
a little bit normal? Breathing out she shook her head. "T, really, it's nothing, alright," she lied. Theodosia disliked lying, she hated not being true to herself and to her words, but saying something out loud about how she felt might ruin the friendship they were slowly building. "It's really not anything you did," well besides the fact that she made her stomach flutter so much. It almost felt like she was going to throw up at some point, but she didn't want to actually be sick.
"I have just been putting off my homework, and I can't afford to fail a class," she said, looking up at the valkyrie, but her eyes betrayed her, looking like a hurt puppy.

"Somehow I really doubt it," she mumbled in a sad tone, swallowing hard as she looked at Theodosia with unsure eyes. There was nothing that had indicated up until now that something was wrong, so what was she supposed to believe? "I can help you with homework?" she pleaded softly, shifting between the beautiful puppy eyes that were looking at her. How could it have come to this so sudden? "I just dont want you to be sad," she almost begged, folding her lips while she looked at the hybrid, waiting for her reply. She wasnt trying to be pushy but she really couldnt help it when she felt like she had done something wrong.

Theodosia knew this was sudden, but to her she had thought about going home even before they went to the diner. It was a weird place to be. She knew she needed to get some real sustenance in her soon, she knew she had to go home and grab a vial, even though she hated it. Besides, when she was with Tessa it just felt bitter in a way she couldn't quite describe.
The hybrid had never really given much thought to sexuality or anything, but with Tessa it was as if everything was turned upside down. She made her heart beat faster and her palms sweaty. It was just a weird feeling that she didn't know how to deal with. "I don't know if I'm allowed visitors," she mumbled, that was a lie too. Her parents were dying to see who she was spending time with, they had even started teasing her about her friend maybe being her girlfriend. It just hurt more.
She didn't want her to be sad? Then why was she pulling at her heart strings so much? "Sometimes you don't get to decide whether you're sad or not - Some people just aren't built for happiness," she said with a sigh, moving over to sit down on the bench, rubbing her face in frustration. She couldn't just leave Tessa out here either. It was all just a big mess in her head.

Why? Why was she always this way, ruining the mood of others and bringing them down too? Theodosia felt that guilt rise and it made her feel more uneasy. She could almost feel how Tessa was distancing herself from her now, and the final agreement to go back just made her lips turn downwards. It was her own fault, but why had she hoped that Tessa would slap some sense in to her?
But her mind was now spiraling. Of course a valkyrie would never be friends with an abomination like herself. It was like she was glued to the bench, she couldn't move her body, and her eyes were just staring in to nothing. Oh, for the love of the gods, couldn't they have made her less weird? Her breath was hitching, her heart beating fast like she was in fight or flight mode, but she was simply frozen in place. She was having an anxiety attack right now, and of course she couldn't get her body to listen. Instead all her body could really do was shake slightly from the cold wind and not to mention the few tears that now escaped her eyes and ran down her cheeks.

She could see that her words only seemed to worsen the situation and it made her feel bad. She was normally quite stubborn but there was something about this whole situation that was taking a bite off the ferocity she normally wasnt shy of showing. Maybe it was because she really cared about Theodosia and once again she got that feeling that she was leading someone on and keeping them in the dark. She shook her thoughts out of mind to notice that Theodosia was far from okay, Tessa carefully sitting down next to her while she thought of what to say. "Hey Theo. Calm breaths, can you do a few of them for me?" she spoke softly, trying her best to remain calm or at least seem like she was. Tessa was willing to imitate the breaths if needed be, she just only knew that calm breaths were the first steps.

Shaking a little her eyes darted to Tessa as she sat down. Some movement, it was at least a sign that her body was still reacting to her surroundings. As the valkyrie guided her through breathing, she somehow managed to calm down enough for her hand to move over and grab hers. She was just holding it, grounding herself in reality as she tried reminding her brain that she was safe and that whatever went on in her head wasn't a reality. Closing her eyes for a while, she gave Tessa's hand a light squeeze, almost as if to say thank you for staying with me.
After a bit of time, she finally seemed to have calmed down to some degree. Opening her eyes slowly, she blinked a couple of times just to clear her vision. The corners of her mouth were still turned downwards, but she at least seemed to be out of the prison that anxiety had held her in. "I'm sorry," she apologized, her voice vulnerable, and she looked down at their hands. She wasn't just sorry about freaking out like this, she was also sorry that she had these feelings for Tessa. It was bound to ruin their friendship, and Theodosia was too selfish to let go. "You just make me nervous."

The reassurance that she didn't want to make the hybrid nervous just made her shake her head no. "Well ... You do," breathing out in defeat as she turned her eyes to the water. Maybe that was easier than look her in her eyes. Theodosia was not good at confrontation, she would rather walk around with this feeling inside until she would implode, but Tessa seemed so adamant in how she spoke.
"I-I never really had a friend like you ... And I'm afraid I'm going do to or say something that's going to make me lose you," she said, feeling her heart beat faster. She knew she had more than just friendly feelings for the valkyrie, but admitting to it would hurt their friendship. Besides, Tessa was in a relationship, so there was no point to admitting it anyways.

Theodosia scoffed softly at her reply, but a small smile crept up on her face. It was true. From the brief time they've spent together she had seen how stubborn the valkyrie truly was; whether it was getting a picture just right or finishing something she had put her mind to, it was clear. However she shook her head slightly as Tessa said she doubted there wasn't anything she could ever do to lose their friendship, however the hybrid doubted that. It would always be something lurking in the back of her mind.
"I know I said some people aren't built to be happy ... But you make me want to try," she mumbled, not sure if the valkyrie even heard her. She could feel her body being cold, the wind picking up slightly as the waves crashed with the shore. "Maybe we could come back here another day? Maybe in summer?" she asked, this time daring to turn her head to look at the stunning blonde. She was so breathtaking, even with the wind making her blonde strands fly everywhere, the pink dipped ends looking like colors were small flares.

She heard the mumble but waited a bit before she looked at the hybrid with a smile creeping up on her lips. "Good. I hope I succeed some day," she said, looking a little hopeful as she moved her eyes out on the sea. She nodded at the question and let her eyes linger for a moment on the view in front of them before she looked at Theodosia. "Then you'll get to see how amazingly good I look in swimwear," she remarked confidently, a small chuckle following to show that she wasnt being serious. She sighed and shifted between the grayish green. It wasnt a sight you saw everyday, but Tessa really liked it. She then seemed to realize something, pulling out her phone as she groaned softly. "Uhhh. We should probably go now, or I'll be late," she said, getting up without letting go of Theodosia, ready to go if the hybrid didnt have any objections. Not that she wanted to stop hanging out but she had promised Gerard to see him today. She however was leaving out the fact that it was unavoidable for her to not be there on time. But if she sent Gerard a text, Theodosia would probably notice.

It was just as if the valkyrie was truly a ray of sunshine, making her giggle with that teasing remark, but also made her wonder if she would have the strength to ignore the thoughts of Tessa in a bathing suit. But she didn't have time to wonder much before Tessa was pulling at her to get back to the city. Oh yeah, the boyfriend. It was as if every time they had a good moment, he was standing in the way. Not that Theodosia thought that Tessa would ever take an interest in her, but rather the fact that she couldn't even allow herself to imagine if it could be true.
Theodosia followed her friend, they took the bus home that was running a bit late on schedule because they had hit rush hour. People were heading home from work, kids were getting off from school - just a generally busy time for the public transportation. However even being crammed in a bus next to Tessa was better than being alone, and because the valkyrie was taller than her, it meant she could hide for a bit.

Theodosia just tried to be there for her friend to the best of her ability, but it was hard when it came to motion sickness. It wasn't something she could just take away or cure. Getting off seemed better, but the valkyrie still seemed a bit shaken by the ride, which made her feel bad. Nodding and agreeing to help her friend, she guided her to the apartment complex, opening the door and helped Tessa up the stairs. However she didn't get to open the door to the apartment itself before it flew up.
A tall dark haired man was standing in the door, his eyes bewildered and his face hard for the hybrid to read. Was that Tessa's boyfriend? He looked way older than she had really thought he would, frowning as his eyes seemed to glance from her and to Tessa, almost as if he was dismissing her.

Gerard hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary as he had gotten to her apartment. It was always that same cozy feeling, and he was kind off excited to see Tessa again. He had missed her, he always did, but today a little more than usual. He thought it was just him being silly. That it was some dread that still lingered from the whole ordeal with Eden. However as he had gotten to Tessa's apartment he started feeling cold sweats run down his back. And then he tried texting her; No response. He was calling her too, but she didn't pick up and he was starting to freak out. Had Eden something to do with this? He hadn't hesitated to go after her before, maybe he was back on his bullshit.
Then he heard steps in the hallway, and he flew up from his seat, walking to the door and opening just as he looked out and saw the two girls. Tessa looked pale and his head instinctively hyper focused on her, walking to her almost inspecting her. "Where the hell have you been?" he asked, his voice sounded a bit harsher than he meant, but he knew that Tessa knew why he was worried. "Why didn't you reply to any of my texts and calls?" he continued, feeling some change in the person that stood next to Tessa. He turned his eyes, them already being narrowed as he inspected the girl about Tessa's age.

Tessa felt quite giggly and happy but maybe that was because of how sick she felt. Like being drunk but without all the alcohol. As they arrived at the apartment and were at the front door, it opened and the valkyrie looked up to see how her boyfriend seemed almost sick with worry. She frowned a little because she realized that she had been acting quite careless. Carefully she let go of Theodosia and sighed deeply. "We were just at the beach," she said a little timid, which may have made it seem like she was scared but she just felt bad. "We, uh-" she said looking shortly at Theodosia before looking at Gerard. "We were just having fun and the time ran from us," she said, thinking it was better than outing the fact that Theodosia wasnt having too good of a time at the end. She noticed how he was looking at Theodosia and frowned a little. "It was my fault, not Theos, stop looking at her like that," she just said before she looked at Theodosia. "Thanks for bringing me home," she said in a thankful lowered tone. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked, thinking of saving the hybrid from listening anymore to this argument.

Safe to say, Theodosia knew nothing about realtionships, but the way that this guy almost interrogated Tessa felt wrong. What did she see in him? Sure, he was tall and maybe handsome if she squinted her eyes, but there was really nothing amazing about him. Not like how Tessa was. She was out of this world beautiful and this guy was just so ... Plain?
Also the way he was looking at her made her feel self conscious, luckily Tessa told him off, but the hybrid already felt like she had heard enough. She didn't want to leave her friend with him, but she couldn't just tell people what to do. Her head felt clouded, like she was boiling with anger, but nothing showed on her body nor face. "Yeah, I'll see you in class," she said a little reluctantly.

Gerard didn't mean to stare, blinking a few times before he turned his eyes to Tessa. So this was the Theo she had spoken about. Frankly he had thought the girl looked different, but alas maybe all he could really imagine was either a copy of Tessa or another Maddie. As Theo made her leave, his eyes were on Tessa, apologetic in every way as he cupped her face, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Je suis désolé," he whispered softly. "I just got worried - Please, ma chérie, forgive me."
He knew it wasn't fair, but just the thought of her being at the mercy of Eden somewhere had gotten him all riled up and worried.

Tessa was still a little too sick to notice Theodosia's change in mood but if she had it wasnt like she was surprised. Gerard was acting a little irrational if you didnt know the whole story but Tessa knew why he was being this protective. She bid Theodosia farewell, sending her off with a bright smile to then look at Gerard with a more serious look. "Dont worry," she said in a soft voice, grabbing his hands and holding onto them a little tight. "I'm just happy to see you," she whispered as she let go and wrapped her arms close around him. Now that Theodosia had left, it was like she could focus on Gerard once again and she had to admit that she had missed him now that she thought about it.

"You telling me not to worry won't make me worry less," he sighed, breathing out a little more heavily as he felt like he had to come to terms with his adrenaline. Her words were cute, and he chuckled as he pulled her with him in to her apartment. "I've missed you too, ma chérie, but why did you go to the beach?" he asked, rather curious to hear what they had been doing. It wasn't unlikely that Tessa had gotten an idea for something, but he couldn't see a camera on her - then again she could just as well have taken a few photos with her phone.
"Have you eaten yet? I was thinking of making dinner," he asked, before leaning down, connecting their lips for a short while. His eyes were closed, smiling as the taste of her lips was something so familiar but also not something he could ever get tired of.