Going through changes

Well that had to be a reality check that was going to suck. He sighed and turned his eyes away from her, looking up at the ceiling, though it was then like some power just forced his eyes back on her. He did not like the way he didnt seem to have full control over himself. "Is that why you wanted to be allowed back into it?" he asked, as he could only guess it had been her back at the unknown portal. She could demand all that she wanted, but he didnt have a conclusive answer as he hadnt been the one to change it; He didnt even know it had been different. "The Abyssus is nothing but a realm of hell for daemons, how can you not know that it is in chaos?" he instead asked.  

She narrowed her eyes at him, scoffing as she looked away. Of course that was why she had wanted to return. After all these years that seemed to have passed, who could blame her for wanting to go home? But then he told how it was, and she knew she had failed, not only from not entering, but Bael had seized the moment. "Your god is a fool," she hissed, shaking her head. "He came to us, offering us gifts and ideas of expanding our world ... But all he gave us was unruly daemon spawn and trouble," she said, looking at the summoner before her eyes turned sad.
"He managed to trap us, didn't he?" she asked, blinking a few times as she could still remember the threats that had been thrown at both her and her king. "It is no wonder that the Abyssus fell to chaos with our absence; We were the two pillars of balance."

"You're the fool for believing he ever had any sort of good intentions for you in the first place," he concluded, because what else was there to tell her? He was just another creation from the damned daemon god that was meant to suffer in the realm that she seemingly used to rule over. "He did." he confirmed.
"I doubt there's much to salvage even if you both were to be placed back in the realm. The Abyssus' darkness is so strong that no light could possibly enter, no matter how much it belongs there," he pondered. And just then, he felt his hand move on it's own, moving up to gently press his fingers to the part of her chest where her piece of the artifact sat. "Your king says that if you want to meet him again, the ritual has to be performed." he said, trying not to sound too annoyed, while his hand was controlled by the artifact inside of him.

Gritting her teeth she wasn't sure what to say. Back then the world had been so new still, and knowing who a god was wasn't just so easy as to point it out. Especially not when he was from another realm entirely.
But as she felt his hand against her chest, the artefact glowed at the touch and she looked at the daemon. Her eyes saddened a bit as she looked at him. The ritual? "He knows the implications ... Does he truly long for me this much?" she asked, but she had a feeling she knew the answer. Sighing she looked down, taking his hand away from her chest. "Then he also knows how we can only do it if the hosts agree to it," she said, looking at Baal with sad eyes.

"He says it's necessary," was the easiest way to put the swarm of words that seemed to come from the artifact. Along the scolding for not behaving more respectfully to direct threats if he didnt comfort her better than this. Baal could understand the sentiment, but in a time like this, the last thing he wanted was to go head to head with someone's lover, especially when that lover resided in his own body.
"I've got no other choice than to comply," he said. Agreement was so subjective wasnt it? The artifact at least made it seem less like an actual choice and more a demand. Agree or suffer, which would it be? It was only lucky that Baal was tired of fighting these internal battles. He moved all on his own to sit up, pulling at her to take her position next to him, at first shoulder to shoulder, but then moved so the artifacts were as close as they physically could get. Baal swallowed and already felt rather weak but he had no choice in the matter. He started chanting the words that the artifact told him to say, closing his eyes as he swore he could feel the artifact move around in his chest, pressing to his ribs like it wanted to connect. The light grew brighter in his chest until it darkened and seemed to absorb her light, showing the deep contrasts of their origin. He wrapped his arm around her and kept chanting the words, till he felt his body go limp, but it was like he stayed in place. The world seemed oddly changed as he opened his eyes, realizing they werent in the real world anymore. A dark entity approached and he realized that it did in fact not have good intentions, getting up just as it grabbed his collar. "I granted you all this power and you've only proven so far to use it for nothing!" the dark voice spoke. Baal grabbed the dark arm holding onto him, his touch seemingly making the darkness fall off like patches that turned into dust, revealing a guy that looked much like himself.

Buffy's body felt so strange, and yet Boadicea knew that this had to be done. She moved the body, already feeling some sort of accept from the former fenix as she started chanting with Baal. But her chanting wasn't the same as his, hers sounded more like an echo or perhaps a reply to his chant. As she finally felt their pieces connect she smiled as her voice raised. It wasn't a pleasant feeling in it of itself as it was rather painful. But she could endure.
As she opened her eyes, she got up, a separate entity from Buffy, but Boadicea bore the same golden hair, only that it was much longer and styled rather elaborately with braids of all kinds. She took the former fenix' hand, guiding her with her through the void, lighting the way as she knew it by heart. Then she stopped as she spotted them. "My king!" she called out, letting go of the woman by her side before she took off running. Or rather it looked like she was floating until she reached the Belial she knew, wrapping her arms around him from behind, burying her face in his back.

These beings really were something elegant and otherworldly, despite the resemblance. It felt like looking into some sort of mirror, only that this Belial seemingly was fully engulfed in marks that went from neck to toes, but unlike Baal's that seemed a little messy, his were a thorough pattern of sorts that were as if they had some sort of meaning. His hair a deep raven black and a bit more muscle like he wasnt raised in the depths of some temple but lived a proper life. It was a little to odd for Baal to even consider the scolding he was getting, just staring at the entity with furrowed brows and a confused expression. The entity felt the arms of his counterpart around him and released the daemon to turn and hold her close. "My Boadicea!" he said, so relieved and also so sad somehow. Baal saw Buffy behind them and quickly went to her, grabbing her face between his hands as he checked her, though it was safe to say that they somehow werent in their own bodies at the moment. "You are not hurt are you?" he asked in a lowered tone, trying his best to ignore the two others for now.

Boadicea smiled, looking up at her king with eyes filled to the brim with happiness, but just like him she had that sad glimmer to them. Her hands moved up, cupping his face like she had so many years ago, touching his proud and strong jaw. "It feels like ages since I've felt you like this, my love," she spoke in a soft tone. She was much taller than Buffy was, and it was safe to say her curves were much more prevalent. "How I've missed you," she whispered, leaning up to kiss his lips, holding herself close to the man she had always been proud to call her husband.

Buffy felt a bit disheveled, first forced not to be in control of her body and now not even in it it seemed? She just followed the woman blindly, because what else could she do? As the woman ran to her lover, she just stood still until Baal came to her. His question making her shake her head. "I don't think so," she said, but she felt weird. "Belial, your hand," she said, lifting her own to place over his, feeling that he had both his hands in this state. Her eyes were sad. "I'm so sorry ... I- I didn't mean to hurt you," she whispered.

Boadicea sighed, placing her head against her king's chest, just enjoying feeling him for once in all of these years. Their love had once been the sacred entity that had made the Abyssus prosper. They had ruled with determination and fairness, adored by their people and yet they hadn't been destined to live together forever. Bael had sought to ruin that, but they had found their way within the artefact to be together. She turned her gaze to look at the two hosts, fearing that they might not come to some agreement in all of this, but alas she wouldn't let that drive herself away from her king, not in this time.

Finally feeling some true emotions from Baal made her happy, even if they were not in their own bodies right now, at least she could still feel his love. Feeling his forehead against her own she breathed out almost relieved, his words so comforting and his hands feeling so real. "We've always done that," she whispered, smiling softly as she agreed. They would figure this out, one way or another, she knew that deep down. But then the entity of darkness spoke to them, and she felt her eyes pried away from Baal's, looking at what seemed almost like a mirror image. Two lovers in embrace, comforting one another in their time of need. Buffy chuckled softly as he asked if they thought it was a coincidence. She shook her head, taking Baal's hand in to her own, entangling their fingers like she used to do. "No, I never thought it was just a coincidence ... There was some voice inside of me telling me to go back, to sit down in that coffee shop and never leave," she said looking to Boadicea who smiled, "that was you, wasn't it?" But the light shook her head, letting go of her king to join with Buffy, taking her hand. "I just guided you, but I never took control; You made that choice when you could've left," she said to the former fenix.

Boadicea turned to look back at her king, her smile almost lighting up the void as she looked at him. "We never decided your feelings or what you did, that was all you; We just were the reason why you seemed to almost recognize each other," she smiled before looking back at Buffy. The former fenix had tears in her eyes, looking at what she could only call her former self. "Was that why my father was so adamant on naming me Boadicea?" she asked, making even the light surprised to look back at the former fenix. Buffy looked down, chuckling. "I always thought it was such a weird name, so I insisted on my family calling me Buffy," she confessed.

She didn't know why it hadn't passed her thoughts to tell Baal her true name, but she had always went by Buffy. It was second nature to her to just be called that, so she hadn't thought much of it. Every time she had wanted to change her name legally, she had just forgotten about it or just shrugged it off for another time. Maybe the Boadicea she stood across from was the reason why she had never gone through with it. Because despite it all she couldn't let go of that name. The darkness spoke, and Buffy looked at him before looking at Baal, giving his hand a soft squeeze. One might've called this situation rather crazy, but what they had been through was less crazy than this right now. At the mention of the artefact she placed a hand over her chest, looking down as she was trying to take all of this in. "But ... Why us?" she asked. It was so much faith to put in to two people that could've carried on with their mundane lives.
Boadicea smiled, chuckling a bit as she looked up at Belial by her side. "We didn't choose you ... You chose us ... Before you were born, you had agreed to what this life would entail," she said. The two of them had no real control over their bodies, not without their consent. "We did try and get the two of you together before this, in your former lives," she said looking at Buffy, "but you seemed to know that that iteration of you were not the right one - You were the one making your other half wait." - "But I see why you chose this life; You were born in to a good seraphim family, you had the right form of support to make you open to love freely even if it would cost you your life." Boadicea then looked to Baal, a sad smile on her lips, "I'm sorry I couldn't convince her sooner, but now it is all falling in to place," she said calmly. "And now we will ask you again; Will you carry on our love and let us finally merge with your souls?"

It definitely was quite an earful to just be handed like this. And Baal wasnt really the one who believed that something could be tailored out just like that. Only that looking at the two entities, it also just seemed to be something he couldnt fully discard. Boadicea spoke to Buffy and he noticed how much they resembled each other to a point where it was almost uncanny. Just like he probably looked much like the man in front of him. "I'm sorry to say this but it's a bit much to take in... I-" Baal said before he shook his head and sighed. He squeezed Buffy's hand before he pulled her with him, away from the two others. He wasnt really sure what to believe. At a small distance, enough to give them some privacy, he looked at the former fenix and looked down at their hands. "What do you think of this?"

Belial watched the summoner walk off with the former fenix, a small smile appearing on his lips before he looked to his queen. "The mistrust doesnt surprise me with the way he has grown up in a system based on lies and deceit. But I dont doubt that he loves her just as I have loved you all this time." he remarked, before he lifted his hand and touched her face. "I know this will be the last time that we will get to be as... Fully ourselves, but I have faith that the merge will end this barrier that has kept us apart all this time," he said, looking at Boadicea. It was uncertain what would happen if they did merge, but somehow he wasnt too worried that their love wouldnt persist regardless. "He has yet to follow the path he has chosen, my only hope is that he's wise enough to not have chosen destruction."

Boadicea sighed softly as the two went away to discuss further. She had a feeling that they would need a bit of time to discuss, but she didn't worry too much. Mostly because it meant that she would have some more time with her king. "I do not blame him either, but you have spent more time with him than me," she said in a thoughtful manner. He then looked at her, and as he spoke about the last time they had together she just smiled, shaking her head as she placed her palm against his cheek. "Our last true time was long ago, my love, we have simply been putting it off," she said, her eyes gentle. She wanted to comfort him. "At least we'll know when they look at each other that it will be a reflection of ourselves."
As he spoke about the path that the daemon could take, she shrugged looking towards Buffy. "I have a feeling that things will work out for them better than it did for us ... if we are lucky they might even restore what was once our home," she said.

Buffy looked at her daemon as he pulled her off to the side. His question made her chuckled lightly. "I don't know what to think, but this ordeal is not about thinking," she said, placing a hand over Baal's chest, "it's about what feels right ... And my heart is telling me to trust them." To her it was a simple answer, but maybe it was because she had this inner understanding of the two ancient lovers. "They have sacrificed so much, and I don't think we'll lose ourselves, I think we will only grow closer."

"He's exactly as stubborn as I am," was all that he had to say about the time he had spent inside the summoner. He didnt really want to admit that their moment had already passed, it just felt better in a sense. He much more wanted to believe that their story hadnt come to an end, even if that was what it had. "That is far better than viewing it as an end." he said, looking at her with soft eyes.
He noticed how she looked at Buffy, sighing as he looked down. "I have seen it. It is as chaotic as he described it. I think it will take a long while for it to even get close to what it used to be,"

Baal couldnt really see the funny in what was happening right now so he kept looking confused even as she chuckled and said it wasnt about thinking. He placed his hand over hers, giving it a soft squeeze. "If you trust them, then that's all I need to know," he said. But he was afraid what a merge would imply. He just held onto her hand like letting go was something dangerous. "I'm just afraid of what will happen." he admitted, looking at her with uncertain eyes.

"Time might be what heals it," she said softly, kissing her king's cheek as she smiled against his skin. "But when it's restored, we will know our love is eternal," she whispered, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the few minutes she had with him.

"I'm never afraid when I know we're in this together," she said, hoping he could understand that she would only ever feel safe if she knew the two of them were side by side. And this merge wouldn't change that, she just knew that. "We are in this together, we always have," she said, taking his hand down from his chest to entangle their fingers. "So, do you want to do this with me?" It was clear she had made up her mind, but she was not going to take away his autonomy, even if he had said he would do it if she wanted to. It wasn't her calling the shots, they were a team, and she would be damned if she didn't remind him of that in this moment.

"No we already know." he argued, holding her close as he glanced towards the two others. "They are the prime example of that." he told her. Though it felt like they were finally close again, he knew that this world was just an illusion. He just wished that he could have had one more moment to feel her fully, feel how alive she could be between his hands.

"You've always been braver than I am." he said with a small chuckle, though his words were serious. She reminded him that they were in this together and he nodded as he felt their fingers entangle. "I have no other option than to concede regardless of how I may be feeling." he said, knowing it had to be a leap of faith from his side on. They returned to the two others, Belial letting go of Boadicea as he looked at Baal. "You wont be a summoner after this. And for eternity will you have to battle your inner darkness and the temptation to give in to evil." - "I have made my peace with it." - "Good to know."

They went back to the ancient beings, as she held his hand safely in her own, entangled like they were supposed to. Belial spoke of change, but what Buffy had gone through had been very much the same. She wasn't a fenix anymore, but she knew that the change would be irreversible from this moment on. "I just have one plea," Boadicea said looking at her king before she looked at the other couple. "Before you return fully to your bodies, let us have a few minutes in it to say a proper goodbye," she said. She knew that was a lot to ask, but her and Belial needed true closure before passing on the torch as to speak. Looking at Belial she smiled, "I just want one real kiss before we go," she said.
Buffy nodded, agreeing to the terms on her behalf, but Baal still had to allow Belial to do the same with him. "Only a few, we have pressing matters to attend," she said and Boadicea nodded. It wouldn't take long, not if they had made a promise.

They seemed to agree, and with that, Boadicea embraced Buffy and merged with the former fenix. Sitting up, she gasped for air, touching her arms as she felt quite weird. But then she turned her head, and she didn't see the summoner. In this moment she just saw her king, and her eyes watered as she got up. She reached for him, touching his cheek and feeling the warmth beneath it. "A last kiss seems awfully unfair, but I knew I would've regretted not feeling your lips once more," she whispered. Even though they weren't in their own bodies, it still felt very much like their own. Flesh and blood and warmth, nothing else mattered right now as she wrapped her arms around her king. With that she leaned in, placing her lips against his for one last time before she let Buffy have the body back. The former fenix felt herself slowly reenter the body, feeling Baal's lips against her own she was a bit surprised, breaking the kiss as she looked down. The world was spinning a little, but otherwise she felt okay.

Regaining her body back was fine, but she felt like something had changed in her. She couldn't explain what or why, but it definitely made her act more distant. He spoke about a healer, and she looked to where his hand used to be, not even sure how to react. "Yeah," she agreed, but her mind was somewhere else. Only she wasn't sure where. For so long she had tried to understand everything, and now it felt like all the loose puzzle pieces had gotten in to place. There was only one that didn't make sense. However she kept that worry to herself for now, reaching out to touch Baal's cheek gently. She wanted to know if he was feeling her again. If he could reach within himself and actually be himself once more, but she was afraid to ask. Because in that dream like space, she had felt the real him, and the thought of having to look at him and all he could return would be stoic expressions and reflexes made her heart ache. Instead of saying anything further, she let go of his cheek, heading back towards the safety of their hideout.

As Baal headed off to a healer, she herself went to check on her daughter. She had been notified that Saoirse was sleeping in Amos' room, which she was a bit surprised to hear, but she headed there anyways. Cracking the door open slightly, she leaned her head against the frame as she saw her daughter having her arms closely around the daemon. And for the first time in forever, she felt herself smile while being here in the hideout. She wouldn't wake them, she just wanted to feel that happiness, smiling to herself before she closed the door silently as to not disturb them further.
Returning to her and Baal's room she came in, seeing him broody was a strange difference to the normal stoic attitude. She came closer, sitting down on the floor in front of him, resting her head in his lap. She just needed the comfort, and she knew he needed it now more than ever. After a bit of silence she finally spoke. "I think it's time we leave these followers," she whispered gently, her hand stroking his leg as she turned her head to look up at him. "It's been long overdue, but if we don't do it now while we are ahead, then we might never be able to," she argued. She was not looking to fight him on this, but she was done with these people, done with their ideas when she felt this place had been nothing but harmful to their family.