Going through changes

Chuckling lightly as he lifted her up she just rested her head against his shoulder as he carried her. The eyes she felt like she had almost gotten used to at this point, but in the end it felt good as he closed their door and placed her on the bed. His next words musing her as she chuckled, turning her head to look down at him. "My love for you is not based merely on your aesthetic pleasing qualities," she giggled, placing a hand in his curly hair that had grown out a bit. She just touched him gently, sighing as she looked at him. "Will you continue to love me even if I can never become better than this state?" she asked, but it wasn't in fun. It had been something she had worried about a lot. How her body felt less and less like her own, and more hard to move around, even if she was feeling better.

"But you dont enjoy those aesthetically pleasing qualities or what?" he teased her with a chuckle, leaning his head up into her fingertips to feel them on his head. He closed his eyes and just seemed to enjoy laying here even if that was all they were doing. Then she seemed to return the question and not in a joking manner such as he had used. He opened his eyes and looked up at her, clearly thinking about it before he answered. "I dont think anything could make me love you less. Even if things wont be like they would before," he said, before he made a small sigh. "But I do wonder if I would be enough if you would need more care from here on out,"
He was quiet for a bit after that, looking up at the ceiling in his own thoughts. "I only do think you'll be getting better. Buffy showed me how to heal you and it seems that whatever it is that's inside you, Baal can remove. It's just a long process," he said before he explained what Buffy had made them do, even though he spoke as little as he could of the summoner.

"Oh yes, I do enjoy it quite a bit," she chuckled. But deep down she knew it didn't matter what he looked like. It was the feeling he gave her that was what kept her needing more of him. It was the fact that she could always count on him, even if he himself doubted he did much good.
Her question was obviously a bit of a mouthful, but she had no intend to back down now. He answered after a small sum of thinking, her fingers just massaging his skull gently as she looked at him with a soft gaze. "Need more care?" she pondered, because what more could really be done? He spoke of it being a long process, and she had already figured that out, but it didn't change the fact that she felt impatient.
He went on to explain about how him and Baal had assisted one another, and frankly it surprised her a lot. Amos was notorious for being stubborn and not backing down, so the fact that he had even let their father near her was a great feat. "No matter what I just really hope that you two can figure this out while my mother is gone," not that she didn't trust Amos, it was more the fact that his temper could run off with him, and they might end up in an undesirable situation. "Promise me you'll try and tolerate him," she pleaded.

"Wow, dont tell me you're taking his side after all this!" Amos exclaimed, quietly but clearly also a little surprised. Was she starting to see their father in a better light? He sighed and looked up at the ceiling as she was pleading with him. "I dont like him being close to you. Not one bit," he admitted, but it was a given. He lifted a hand to rub his eyebrow a little, because it was frustrating that Baal was essential in all this. "He's trying to seem better, like he apparently cares so we wont notice the fact that he hasnt changed one bit at all. But I can tell that he is getting weaker, which only makes him seem more dangerous,"  

"Don't be ridiculous," she sighed, looking down at him with a frown on her brow. But he went on to talk about him again, as if he was trying to convince her. "I'm choosing to survive, Amos, and if that involves a bit of help from our father, why should I not take it?" She asked, scooting down a bit so they were face to face. Couldn't Amos see that she hated this arrangement too, but that she was only trying to overcome this ailment before they could go off together once more? The talk of their father growing weaker made her sigh, looking up at the ceiling. "Do you think it's why he sends my mother out on his dirty business?" She asked, clearly worried. Even if she was still mad at her mother, she couldn't deny that she cared for her wellbeing. Especially as her father had grown so estranged.

"I dunno, it just seems a little sketchy, seeing that he's mostly the reason why we're even in this mess?" he argued as they laid there face to face but decided not to dig further into it as there were other worries to tend to. Such as their father seemingly getting weaker and more unstable. He sighed at her question and made a small shrug. "Maybe? Do you think that's why she has been blinded? Because I think that's pretty fucked up," he commented as he was trying to piece it all together. "Where is she even going?" he asked, but doubted that she knew if he didnt. It was also all this being kept in the dark that wasnt easing on the paranoia and distrust.

"I honestly wouldn't put it past them," she said, touching his cheek gently, two fingers following along his cheekbone. She hated thinking about their parents and everything right now. She wanted to forget it mostly, which was why she wanted to spend as much time with Amos before she had to sleep. "I want to sleep here with you tonight," she said, not wanting to dwell any more on what Buffy and Baal's plans were. She simply didn't feel like it. Most days she would sleep in another room that was closer to the altar, just in case she woke up and felt bad. But she had rarely used it besides as a formality.
"Please say I can sleep here," she smiled, hoping he wouldn't start to double down on her safety and wellbeing. Fact was they were both aggitated, and while they couldn't do everything yet, there was nothing stopping them from sleeping next to one another. While he did rarely waver from her side, she knew he wasn't getting enough rest lately. "Let me hold you close for the night, like we used to," she smiled, poking his nose in a teasing gesture. She was just so tired of all these rules all the time.

It was later in the evening, and it was about time for her to head out. She had made sure to dress warmly, a nice cloak around her made of wool. At least it could explain why she wasn't freezing or feeling cold. Buffy felt nervous for the first time in a long time, staring into the air as she felt the world around her cave in on her rather slowly. Or rather it threatened to cave in. The problem was that she held her family at such a high regard, that she was afraid of their rejection. Terrified that any of them would start uncovering more than what the plan called for. But all of this were relatively normal aspects of fear.
She was waiting for her daemon, knowing he wished to see her off, but she wasn't sure how far he was willing to go with her, or if it was simply going to be a goodbye in the door. The world outside seemed so scary, whereas the compound was familiar to her and her senses. Buffy struggled as she fiddled lightly with the edge of her woolly cloak, feeling the thick fibers at her fingertips.

Saoirse nodded, a warm smile spreading on her lips as she simply looked at her brother, "I'll hold you close for the whole night," she promised. There really wasn't anything she wouldn't do for him. Not when she knew how much joy they both got out of being together. Scooting a little closer to him, she pressed her lips to his forehead, simply holding her lips there for a while, breathing in his scent.

"I'm just worried that no-one will heed our cause," she sighed, smiling as he guided her hand. He just couldn't let her do things by herself, now could he? Regardless she found it made her happy. That the glimmer of the man she knew was still there, even if he acted differently.
Moving outside she felt the light wind on her face, breathing it in as he disclosed his worry. Indeed it would be very different.
"I'll return as soon as I can," she said, leaning her head against his arm as it was the most natural thing for her in this world. And it surely felt like it. He was her other half, not just because of the artifact in their chests, but because they had chosen one another way before all of that. "But meanwhile, I hope you and Amos behave," she admitted. It was crucial to Saoirse's survival that they at least tolerated one another in the same room. "I know he likes to push your buttons, but try and ignore it," she said.

"That's a reasonable worry," he agreed. As they moved outside, he did take a moment to be sure that there were nothing to be too concerned about, but it seemed that the coast was clear. Her words seemed like something she was saying to comfort him, but he did appreciate it. It wasnt a comforting feeling to be apart and he knew that the feeling was only amplified now that he was this affected by the artifact and her change on top of it with her piece. Her confession made him sigh as he thought about it. It was probably going to prove to be a difficult task, but on the other hand, both of them knew what was at stake if they couldnt get along. "You wont have to worry about that, I wont let my feelings get in the way of healing Saoirse," he said as they moved along the empty streets.

She could hear how empty the streets were. It almost felt like it was only the two of them left in the world. But as calming as it seemed, she knew why there were no-one out here at this time of day. "Oh but you know I'll worry the whole time I'm away," she sighed, following his pace that was nice and relaxing. They weren't in a hurry right now. They could take their time to just be themselves for a little bit.
"Belial, when all of this is over ... I want us to be a family again," she said, frowning slightly as she wasn't sure how plausible that was going to be. Amos seemed to have a deep hatred for his father, and Saoirse was clearly distrusting of any parental figure she had. "Or at least try," she whispered. The night was a little warmer these days with summer soon around the corner, so she at least had the weather on her side tonight. "I know it might be far off, but I hope we can get there eventually."

He hummed at her request or rather demand if he knew her well and he did. He looked at her as they walked, sighing as he pressed her just a little closer. "It's comforting to know that we share the same view for our future," he said, which was his way of saying that he wanted the same. He looked back ahead, knowing he had to be the eyes for the both of them and check their surroundings. "Saoirse may seem distant and distrusting now, but she will come around, faster than you realize. You're her mother, she could never hate you not when you have held her the way you did when she was just an infant," he said, though it was more a mere hope of his than something he knew from experience. "As for Amos, he can hate me all he wants. I can bear what burden it is he wants to put on my shoulders," he remarked truthfully, even if it was hurtful. It was interesting to see where Southern began and how it was still as empty as ever. He knew he had to leave her as soon as they got to central, but she would be able to take a cab from there, so he wasnt too worried about her fare. It was more the separation, as they had barely been apart since she had been brought to him by the cultists.

"I hope you're right," she sighed, just feeling how he held her a little closer. It was hard to imagine being apart from him, but perhaps it was a good thing too. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. However Buffy didn't know if she could really find more to love about her daemon. Surely they both had their faults and flaws, but that was what made them fit each other, round each other out, even if the edges were rough at times. "We are getting closer, aren't we?" she asked with a small sigh, just breathing in his scent as they were walking so close to one another. She could feel the darkness around them, but it didn't scare her. Not when they were together.
"Tell me what you are thinking about," she urged him, always wanting to hear what he saw or thought about at times like these. She hated thinking of being apart from him, so this was more of a distraction for her mind than anything else.

"We are." he confirmed in a monotone voice, looking around before looking back ahead. He knew that the bond would always let them know whether the other was fine, or at least alive. But Baal hadnt relied on that ever since the artifact had made him believe that he had killed Buffy, so he only had hope. Her urge made him sigh as he then hummed in thought. "I'm thinking about the next move when you return. We still have to go see Raziela and get closer to uncover Simeon and his new body before he can place another thorn in our side," he said, frowning a little as he thought about the summoner. "Probably not something you want to hear more about now that you're heading elsewhere," he admitted, without the tone it was still clear that he was apologetic.

As he laid it all out she felt like there was so much to do and yet so little time. Especially if he could feel that he was already growing weaker at this stage. "We'll go find Raziela as soon as I return from my aunt and then take things from there ... But either way what we have planned might force Simeon out from the shadows eventually," she pondered. She still hadn't made up her mind about the empusa. Despite how cruel she had been, Buffy knew that death was never the answer - even if she wanted revenge.
"I just worry that time won't be on our side in this," she said with a slight frown in her brow. She hated to think about it, but alas here they were, and she knew that whatever Baal was feeling regarding his strength they had to take in to account.

It was true there was still so much that they had to do and time really wasnt on their side. But had it really ever been? "I just hope that we will force him out rather than fall into some deliberate plan of his," he muttered. It wasnt a secret that he was unstable both in body and mind at the moment. "We will just have to prioritize our time. Which will always be what can keep our family safe," he said. When they reached the edge of the district, he stopped and made a small sigh. "This is it," he told her.

He was right. Of course he was, but it didn't take away their worry. She just had to keep on holding on to the hope that things would be in their favor. As they reached the boarder, she stopped, breathing out in a heavy sigh before she turned to face him. Even if she couldn't see him, it was as if his face was burned to the insides of her eyelids. "I love you," she whispered gently, lifting her hand up to place it against his cheek before pulling his face down to her. Pressing her lips against his in a brief yet tender kiss, she knew she couldn't linger too long. "I almost can't wait to see you again," because she hated the fact that she couldn't see him for real. She was truly ready to just get her sight back and see both him and their daughter again. "Try and get some rest too," she urged him, hoping he would at least try. There was no use if he was both weak and sleep deprived. Taking out a small burner phone, she turned it on, waiting for the small sound to announce that it was ready. Pressing the buttons to a taxi number was easy enough, but she had Baal double check it before she called for a cab. After that was done, she just felt the need to hold his hand for a while.
But as the taxi pulled up, she could feel the sudden nervousness set in. Giving him one last kiss she got in the car, giving the address of her aunt to the driver before it went off towards Northern.

He really thought the feeling of dread would subside but as they were reaching their goodbyes, he lifted his hand to place on hers that was holding his arm. He looked at her as she turned and felt her hand on his face. He followed her pull and felt her lips, lifting his hands to grab her arms gently. Did he really have to say anything? It was already so obvious that he didnt want to be without her. "I'll try," he said but it was harder said than done. Now that she wouldnt be around there was much more he had to do and watch over all on his own. Once she was settled and the cab was rolling up, the summoner let go of her hand, lingering as he looked at her before he started turning. "Stay safe," were his last words before he headed back to the empty streets of southern.

She had to remind herself that this wasn't a goodbye, and without this small separation, they might not be able to achieve what they had planned to. The roaring engine felt so loud to her ears, bit she knew it meant that the world was passing by her window rather fast. The drive from South to North was longer than she usually had felt it was, but she guessed it had to do with the fact that she couldn't see.
As the car stopped she handed the driver some money, thanking him before getting out. The driver however was kind enough to guide her up to the entrance of the mansion, ringing the doorbell for her before wishing her a safe night.

Connor was home for once, having found a quite nice balance between being at the temples and spending time with Laure. It was a little weird to be seeing the vampyress, mostly because he wasnt sure whether they were dating or not. She was just so nice and confident and he really liked it. Though in the back of his mind, he also felt like he was betraying Saoirse, mostly because the bond made him feel that way. He heard the doorbell and went to open the door, frowning a little confused at first as he saw Buffy, to then widen his eyes and pull his cousin in for a hug. "By Verity, Buffy we've all been worried sick about you," he said, trying to contain his emotions. He called out for his mother and soon the valkyrie came too. Seeing Buffy she gasped a little surprised before she went to embrace the both of them. "Where have you been?"

Hearing the door open was rather scary. At first there was silence, but then she was pulled in to an unknown embrace. Only as he spoke, her body relaxed a bit sighing as she knew it was her cousin. It wasn't soon thereafter that she felt another set of arms around her, but she already knew that was Leona. Her aunt had always worn a very specific perfume that she could recognise everywhere.
The question was a tough one to swallow, but she had went through it with Baal so many times at this point. "The story is rather long," she confessed, touching her aunt's arm and her cousin's back. It felt like being home, and yet she knew that people were missing. "Can we sit down? I'm just a little tired," she said, but it was sort off a lie, as she actually felt rather rested. She just had a lot on her mind.