The world can leave you feeling tired

For @Baal my love

It had been months for Buffy. Constantly waiting, but trying to keep busy. She had gotten the message from the mysterious Aurel guy, but she still couldn't understand why they hadn't come home yet. If time worked differently in the Abyssus, surely they would've come home by now. But then Aurel had gone away, talking about finding his sister, and yet Buffy just wanted to see Baal and Saoirse. She wanted to hold them close.
Her family hadn't been as supportive as they could've. Sure, she didn't blame Tessa - she was busy every day with either school or planning her wedding. But being around all of that wedding planning made her depressed. She was happy for her cousin, but the more time passed, the more she feared she would never get to have such a day for herself. Her aunt had even talked Connor in to discussing letting go of the hope of them returning. As if that was better. No, she refused to let go of the thoughts of Baal.
She had grown closer with Alyssa. Spending more time with her, but she seemed to be in pain as well. Amos was rarely home, and Buffy saw much of herself in the daemon. She had been getting some strange dreams lately. Of a shadowed person who spoke about long lost love. Perhaps her subconscious was trying to tell her to let go too? Packing herself up nicely she headed out in to the forest in Raleska. Snow had fallen and the nature here so undisturbed, but she felt the need to be alone with her thoughts. Her family was busy at the temples, and seeing as she no longer really belonged to a god or goddess, she could go for a good walk. Maybe clearing her mind with the fresh snow.
As a fenix the snow had been her enemy. Everything cold was a no-go, but after her change she had come to appreciate it. Touching the snow on the trees she chuckled softly to herself as it melted against her finger.
Raleska was often times described as a very mysterious place, but right now she felt the solitude hurt less. That was when she saw the portal. It was out on the lake! Her eyes wide as she stared at it, her heart starting to pick up pace. Having heard about these portals she knew the risk. She knew it would be dangerous, so why was she undressing and getting in the water? Big strokes until she reached the portal, the energy drying up her hair as she felt the heat emanating from it. Turning she looked back at the shore, "forgive me, auntie," she muttered, closing her eyes as she leaned back, falling in to the portal. Upon arrival in the new realm her body felt weak from the travel. A small patch of green grass started sprouting around her as she fell unconscious.

Buffy couldn't keep her eyes open, not even as the child yanked her head back to look at her. Her body felt drained. In a world so filled with darkness, how was she ever going to survive being the light. A beast soon enough came upon them, growling softly as it puffed up its fur. Its beady eyes moved from the child to the person on the ground, walking closer to sniff if it was dead. It was quite peculiar to think that grass was growing here, the beast pulling at Buffy until she laid over its massive backside. Was she dreaming? The world around her a blur as the beast ran with her on its back, not even allowing her off once. This was it, she thought, this beast was taking her to its cave where it was going to devour her whole.
But they soon enough reached the ruins of a once great fortress. It was in the midst of being rebuilt. The giant beast howled at the gate, rats running along a small wheel to open up for the beast. Once inside the beast dropped the lifeless woman off, sniffing her face until someone pushed it away. Buffy blinked, feeling a warm hand on her face, opening her eyes to see someone beautiful look at her. "Saoir-?" she muttered but her brain was almost too scrambled to make together what had happened. The beast soon enough picked her up again, getting her in to a room.

Seeing her mother here in the Abyssus was the last thing the young hybrid had expected. It had been years since she had seen her, her eyes widening as she pushed the beast away, touching her cheek to see if her eyes were decieving her. No, she wasn't being fooled. It was her mother. Her heart began to race as she ordered the beast to head straight to a room with her lifeless mother, instructing the living creatures not to utter a word to Baal. She wanted to do that herself.
Hurrying off, she tied up her hair that had grown quite long over the years, but she simply hadn't cut it. Knocking on her father's study she stepped in without waiting to be called in. Her eyes wide as she stepped in, clearly still in shock, but she also had to warn her father. "I need you to remain calm at what I'm about to tell you," she prefaced, telling that her mother had been brought here by one of the hounds. If Baal got up trying to rush to see if what she said was true, Saoirse would stop him, placing a hand against his chest even though it hurt a bit with all the darkness in him. "She's still pure light ... In a realm of darkness ... I don't think it's wise if you get too close just yet," she spoke rather reasonably.

"I don't know, father, a beast brought her here and that's as far as I know," Saoirse said quite seriously. She could see how her father was reacting. It was strange seeing him with this much emotion. He had barely emoted to her while being here and now he looked like a nervous teenager about to head in to an exam. "Breathe," she told him, guiding him if he was freaking out. At least it was good to see him actually care for her mother and she felt a little jealous. If her mother had been able to come through, then what about Amos? She shot the idea out of her head nodding for him to follow.
Grabbing a hold of the door she used it to make a shortcut for them directly to the room where Buffy was. The golden hair not to mistake. It was strange. Did the room feel warmer? "She's not awake, and don't touch her, we don't know what will happen," she warned him. Hearing a commotion downstairs she sighed, "I have to go take care of this ... Just ... Don't do anything stupid," she muttered, changing the door for herself so she could get straight to the ruckus.

Buffy was out cold, her body clearly still adjusting to all of the darkness around her. And yet it seemed that in this room where she was was livening up more. Surely she wouldn't recognize the change, but the others would. Something wet landed on her face and she opened her eyes carefully, blinking a few times as her eyes met with something so familiar to her, "Belial?" she whispered softly. Her body was still weak, but her eyes seemed to liven up the more she realized this wasn't a dream. In her joy she reached out, touching his face, holding it between her fingers, smiling like she hadn't smiled in ages. Her eyes filled with tears, pulling him down over her as she kissed him rather tenderly. She didn't know she was supposed to be careful in this realm, but for now it seemed alright.

Buffy barely felt the hurt, but as he pulled away from their kiss, telling her they should keep their distance it was clear that she had been weakened by the touch. The darkness around her was affecting her, and she was a single candle in it all, a mere faint blow could snuff her out. She sat in silence, looking at him, feeling so happy to see him and yet so drained being here. Of course he asked a very sensible how of it all, and she knew it would be a story hard to believe. And yet she told it anyways; How she had gone to the temples and gone for a stroll in the neighboring woods. How she had seen the portal out on the lake and swam out to it. And that was about the things she could remember.
Then her eyes got brighter, "Saoirse?" she whispered, oh she remembered her face. But she had seemed so different. So much ... Older? Not looks wise, but demeanor. "Belial, I ... I know I shouldn't have gone through the portal; I know I should've heeded the warning," she said, reaching her hand out but not touching him, merely having her hand near him, feeling the warmth that radiated off of him. "But I couldn't stand being without you two any more." The world wasn't the same. It didn't have the same appeal. Saoirse and Baal was her family, and while her aunt would always be her aunt, she simply couldn't be what she needed. "How are you? How have you been? Please tell me everything, I got the message from Aurel."

Buffy hummed but then Baal said something that stuck with her. Years? "Belial, it's only been half a year," she reminded him, well not even, but sure it felt like longer. She sat up better, resting her back against the headboard on the bed as she looked at him. Was that why Saoirse had seemed so different? Guilt started to creep in. "I should've gone with you," she muttered, closing her eyes as she shook her head a little defeated. She felt like she had failed them. "But I'm here now ... And I want to help," she said, clearly not willing to hear anything about how she was going to leave. She couldn't leave them behind, not when she had risked so much to get to them. Part of her wanted to reach out. Touch him. Hold him. But she couldn't. She felt like she had gone through so much and even now she was denied being with him. "I don't know what I'll be able to do, but whatever I can and is within my power."

Buffy was mildly shocked as she heard what Baal told her. Years? She felt more guilty now, her eyes filling with tears. And yet she wouldn't cry. No she had spent so many months just crying. When he put it like that she wondered just how long she could've lasted if it had truly been so bad. At least he didn't know how to send her back, and that at least made her know that she wouldn't have gone here just to be returned like a bruised package.
He spoke of what needed to be done, and as he spoke of the language she frowned a little. "I suppose you two could give me some pointers," she said, frowning as she wasn't sure. She hadn't been good at learning Baal's daemonic language, or well she had tried, but there were so many guttural sounds she wasn't sure how to pronounce. "Did I hurt you?" she asked with a worried frown as he had said they were draining one another. True, she had felt it, but she also wanted to apologize if that was the case.
She touched the fabric of the bed. It felt a little cold, but she guessed that was what years of darkness would do to a place like this. "Perhaps we should start seeing what our limits are ... Like how long we can touch each other's hands before we feel the drain," she suggested. If they had a status quo, then they could measure up to it later on to see if they were improving.

Feeling a bit more relieved that it hadn't hurt him, she still felt a little guilty for her rash decision. She had always been following her gut feeling, but this was the first time where she regretted it somewhat. Agreeing to not push their unknown limits she looked at him as he presented his healthy hand. Hesitantly she reached nearer, but not fully giving in yet. It was like she could feel his darkness even from here. "Tell me if it hurts," she pleaded. That was the last thing she wanted to do.
Finally reaching out she placed her hand on his, her fingers touching his palm delicately with her fingertips. "I've missed you so much," she said, feeling the darkness in his skin, and yet she could withstand it for now. "And I guess I feel a little cheated now," she chuckled. Sure, she had him, but she didn't have all of him. Gritting her teeth she looked at the darkness in her fingertips, pulling her hand away her hand returned to normal, but it hadn't been pleasant. "So that was what? Thirty seconds?" she muttered frowning as she shook her head, running a hand through her hair. Happy that Tessa had cut it, but now there was less to pull at.

Her fingers felt a little tingly now that she wasn't touching him anymore. He moved up, sitting beside her, and she opted to turn around, laying down so she could look at him. He spoke of what he had forgotten and she smiled, looking at him as she knew that feeling quite well. "What would you like me to say then? If you've tried to remember it, what was it you wanted to hear?" she asked. Genuinely curious but also hoping for something good that she could say or tell him.
"The house doesn't smell like you anymore," she said with a small frown appearing on her brow, looking down at the duvet as she was trying not to make this about herself too much. She had gone months - he had gone years. "The first few weeks I was rarely left alone; Even Amos came by, sleeping in Saoirse's room, but the more time passed, the more people seemed to move on while I was just ... Stuck," she breathed out in a small sigh, closing her eyes as she felt a little sad just remembering it all. "I felt like I was in limbo ... I had lost my family and yet I knew you were here ... I couldn't move on because no matter what I was just waiting for you two to return to me and tell me of your adventures."

She could only agree with everything he was saying. If they had had more time, maybe it would've been different. But then again, would the time they had spent together be as significant? Feeling him touch her hair made her feel closer to him, and she felt this burning need to touch him, comfort him as he needed to. But touch wouldn't be possible for long periods at a time, at least not in the foreseeable future. His hand moved away and she sighed as he had more bad news to tell. The artifact? She frowned slightly, and she wondered how it all worked. "But the artifact you have - or had - it wasn't the whole artifact," she said in a ponder, touching her own chest. She had part of it. Was that why the world was so dead? Because it was missing the other half?
Being silent for a while she was deep in her thoughts, but then she looked at Baal. "What if the artifact inside of me needs to join yours?" she asked. Maybe that was the missing puzzle piece - quite literally. "How did you remove it without dying? I thought it had tethered itself to your soul?" there were so many things she needed answers to, but she wasn't sure if Baal had all of them.

She knew of course that the artifact was keeping her alive, but she felt like maybe it wouldn't hurt to look in to it. He spoke of looking at records and what he said made her frown. It did sound a little crazy, but she trusted him no matter how crazy somethings could be. As he mentioned half of his soul she hummed, "well if you have half of your soul tethered and the other half in your body ... Then in theory you should be able to leave once this place is functional again, right?" she suggested. It wasn't stupid to hope so. She felt like this place was so dark and gloomy, but if it was restored to how it had once been, then there was no saying how things would change. "Perhaps you can't leave this place forever ... But it wouldn't be so bad if you could get out once in a while, right?" she suggested, always trying to see the positive things. Oh how she wanted to cup his face and sit down in his lap. Kiss him until he felt better. "But no matter what I'm not leaving you ... Never again," she told him rather seriously. She was done being separated. "The world was never accepting of us, but maybe that's because we were meant to come here and make our own reality."

It was settled then, wasn't it? She would stay with him wherever they may end up. He spoke about the two of them still being bound together by soul and she couldn't stop herself from smiling at the thought. "I know," she said, she could still feel him so clearly. Even though what she really longed for right now was his embrace, perhaps even his lips if she could be selfish enough to ask for that much.
But that was when he mentioned a book of the family that had occupied this very castle. She nodded, waiting until he returned with the giant old book. Looking at the pages her eyes rested on the delicately written pages, with a language she had yet to get familiar with. As he went down the list she frowned, looking at how many children they had gotten, it was quite a long list if she was being honest. It seemed to match somewhat and yet not at all. "I feel a little intimidated looking at all of this," she confessed, chuckling as her finger traced down a line of the family, recognizing a few symbols now that she knew how Belial and Boadicea was spelled in it. "but we have already messed up in the way we should match up, right?" she said, pointing at where Belial and a sibling met. She presumed it was a female, which would mean the equivalent of Alyssa. "Amos is your first born so ... That means we have control of our own lives, that we are not forced to live like them."