Healing isn't always easy | Eden

The letter was written on a rather standard piece of paper, but the handwriting was quite clearly Romeo's. It had been a while since he had written full letters by hand, but his handwriting was as perfectionistic as he felt himself to be.

Dearest husband.
It's sorta weird to be writing this out, but I feared a text message would not do it justice. And I feel that you would not really listen if I were to speak to you over the phone. This just felt more intimate, seeing as you haven't come to visit me yet.
I wish I could tell you that everything was good, and that I was firmly on the way to recovery, but the doctors say something strange is up with my numbers. My blood is acting strange, and they are unsure of why. Of course I haven't told them of what we have done, but I can't help but worry if that might be what is messing with it? Either way, I just wish you were here to help me make sense of it all.
I miss you more every day, and a part of me starts to fear that I've forgotten your smell, or the feeling of our hands intertwined. I miss how you would be there when I woke up, kissing me, holding me, even if we had stuff to do. Do you miss me too, or are you too busy? You've always been good at distracting yourself from your worries.
I won't pressure you into visiting me. Frankly it might be best if you don't for a while. I don't feel like myself. I can't recognize myself in the mirror anymore, and I'm really struggling with eating again. What I want is to get better, but what if I feel better at a different weight? What if being a meaty lycan isn't what I want to be?
I'm sorry for unloading onto you, but I feel like you're the only one I can confide in sometimes. I know you can keep every secret safe. But could you perhaps get a letter back for me? You can ask Saige to bring it to me if you don't want to come visit.
Yours forever,
Romeo.

He read the letter through, though it was a lot of to take in for one letter. He felt bad because it was so obvious that Romeo was struggling. Not that Eden had expected him to be handling himself perfectly. Saige had even pointed out the obvious. He read the letter through a few times, biting the inside of his own cheek to the point where he began tasting blood before he got up and went to change clothes. He didnt want to reek of daywear. He made a few calls and then he went. He could have formed a letter and sent it but that wasnt really like Eden. Not towards someone he cared for like he cared about Romeo.
He didnt care if they werent allowing visitors at the hour he arrived. If that was the case, he would gladly sit and wait.

A nurse was trying to stop him as he entered, insisting that it wasn't visiting hours. At least he seemed to understand that he had to sit down in the waiting area, making the poor nurse huff softly before she went on to inform her co-workers. It hadn't been long since Eden had sat down before a doctor came to him. "Eden Altieri?" He asked, looking at his notes before he looked to the human. He seemed to frown lightly as he could've sworn the guy was a vampyre last he had been here, but perhaps he was mixing up some people in his mind. "Would you mind coming with me?" If he agreed he would show him down a corridor with a lot of doors on either side, clearly a place where patients were staying. They walked for a bit, the doctor in silence as he scribbled down a few notes before they turned down another corridor. It was quite a large facility, but it was also top of the branch and they catered to more than one sort of illness. "Have you been informed of what has happened?" He then asked, stopping in front of the door to Romeo's room that even had a sign on the outside with his name on it. "I'm not going to lie, we were afraid that things might've turned out worse if we hadn't been there when he had collapsed," he spoke rather seriously before looking at his notes, "were you aware that he was attacked by a vampyre before he was admitted here?"

When he was approached by the doctor and his name was spoken he nodded and hummed, "That's me." he sighed. He noticed the frown and it wasnt really surprising but Eden had no intention of explaining the change as it didnt even make sense to him as it was. "Lead the way." he nodded, following the doctor through the facility. He did look a bit around though he couldnt say how this place made him feel.
The doctor's question made him look at the professional, frowning a little confused. Had something happened? The mention of a collapse made Eden look worried and rightfully so. He was so sure that Romeo had been doing better. It had sounded that way from the lycan on the phone. Of course the letter had said something different. "When did he collapse?" he asked, crossing his arms a little. The mention of a vampyre attack made his stomach churn a little but he frowned confused. "That shouldnt be possible right?" he asked, shaking his head. "He's a lycan, a vampyre would die of one bite?" he asked like it seemed so far fetched, unless it was someone willing to die... well if he had counted himself out of the equation.

"Last night; he had a visitor over and she alerted us that something was wrong," he said with a nod, looking to Eden with a very serious expression. It was clear that he was very invested in this, as it should've been seeing it was his job. "We tried reaching out to you, as you are next of kin, but perhaps the number we have is wrong in our system?" Though that was a high doubt, but they were not perfect even if they wished it. He sighed at the mention of what would happen to a vampyre, "yes, most vampyres would succumb to their injuries soon after, so we are considering if it perhaps was a vampyre desperate for blood, or maybe a newly turned?" It was at least a good theory, and seeing as the teeth marks didn't register in their system, they couldn't really do much. "Regardless, there was a lot of venom in him, and that has been why he has been struggling to eat," he said, looking through a small window into the room before continuing. "The venom from a vampyre is mysterious to medical science even today, but the theory that we have right now is that his body might've absorbed the venom instead of it being burned away as it entered his blood stream - most likely because of his current illness."

Last night? Eden didnt recall getting a call, but of course he had been rather busy as well. He looked at the door, blinking a few times before he shook his head. "I have not received a call." he confessed but he could have easily missed it. He checked his phone before he ran it by the number they had. It was the right one. He thought about it for a moment before he realized that he most probably had been somewhere with no reception.
The focus went on to the vampyre attack and the doctor's theory made him shrug. "I wouldnt know." he admitted, though he of course did know. He was still a vampyre by heart even if his body had changed. The mention of venom was new. Had he been too weak to fight it? "Is there nothing you can do to aid him?" he asked, raising his eyebrows a little. He looked at the door. "I want to see him now." he said, feeling his impatience get to him now.

"We have given him some pain medication, and a few special doctors have been called in to monitor him as it would not be wise to send him out of here at this point in time," it was clear that the doctors here did everything they could and pulled on help from those more specialized in this ordeal. "He was rather upset when he was awake last; we've had to put in a feeding tube again, seeing as he can't really keep much down if he chews," it was clear that the doctor disliked that notion, but alas, what could he truly do? The urgency to see the lycan made the doctor nod, knocking softly on the patients door before entering calmly, "Romeo, you have a visitor," he spoke, the lycan laying with closed eyes grunting softly, "tell Saige that I'm not in the mood for the exercises," he muttered, his voice hoarse as his body looked a little different. Sure, he had gained weight, but he had a paleness to him that he hadn't ever really had. The doctor looked apologetically at Eden, "I'll give the two of you some privacy; please pull the red string should you need any help." With that the doctor left the room. Romeo was still laying with his eyes closed, "please, I can't really deal with this right now," still thinking that it was Saige in the room with him.

The footsteps that grew closer made him frown, still keeping his eyes closed. Who was it? And then the scent hit him and his heart started to beat like crazy. He was really here? The voice confirmed it and he felt his eyes fill with tears, but he didn't open them. "I'm sorry too," he whispered, his voice broken as he gave his hand a squeeze in return. Gods he wished to see him, wanted to look into those calming blue green eyes that made his whole life have meaning. And yet, as he opened his eyes the irises were milky white and glazed over. He couldn't see him at all. His hand traveled up his arm, feeling the fabric on his shirt and the heat it carried from his body. Further up to his neck and chin where he felt the beard, chuckling softly to himself. Then he reached his cheek and he just held him softly, looking with eyes that couldn't see. "You're really here, right?" He asked.

His confirmation made Romeo's heart ache. He had missed him so much, and he had so many regrets now that he couldn't even see him. Should he have insisted that he came? Should he have hired someone to drag the former vampyre here so he could see him one last time? He just held his face, feeling the emotions that Eden went through and yet he couldn't feel any disgust or lack of love. What had then kept him away for so long? The kiss felt good, making the lycan close his eyes, resting surely in the fact that his husband was indeed here in the room with him, kissing him and being close to him. The whisper made him feel a knot in his throat, just feeling all of the emotions so clear, especially because he was human now. "Don't cry my love .. I'm not dead," he reminded him. They had gotten a lot of venom out, he wouldn't die, but it was uncertain if he would ever see again. "If they had access to the fresh venom, they could've made an antidote .. but seeing as that isn't possible the doctors are doing all they can," he said. He didn't want Eden to worry, though that was perhaps easier said than done.
Nuzzling their noses together he just smiled, before his lips sought the ones of his husband. Pressing them together he felt that bliss so clearly. Just the fact that they were here together should've been enough. While the lips were surrounded by beard, he didn't really care, even chuckling softly as he leaned away. "I might have to get used to feeling that beard, huh?" But it was clear he didn't mind it. In fact he was quite grateful that Eden had a heartbeat right now, as that made it easier for him to know where he was. Seeing that he had gone blind, he had had to rely more on his other lycan senses, and while they hadn't gotten much stronger, it was clear he had greater control over them. "Your lips feel the same," he muttered softly, his thumb running over his lower lip, just caressing them. They were slightly warm, but he wasn't put off by it. Not when he knew who it was in the room with him.
"Can you describe to me what you're wearing?" He asked, already knowing what he smelled like, he just wanted to know what he had on, "and if you're up for it, we can go for a walk?" He was just clearly happy that Eden was there. As if all of his worries and troubles had gone away in an instant. Saige had been right when she had said that Eden was the one and only that could reach him.

"No - I like it; it feels soft and not rugged," he said, because he quite liked the feeling. He just wished that he could've seen him. But thinking in what-ifs wouldn't help them very much right now. Chuckling softly at the mention of water, "I bet they were .. but they would've tasted just as good," he hummed, feeling his lips still. It felt good to have his husbands arms around him once more. He felt strong, even for a human. "I want to get some fresh air." His hand being guided to the different clothes felt good. He liked hearing his voice, hearing how eloquently he could describe colors and textures that Romeo could feel. It just felt good to be together once more.
Then he felt the regret and sadness from the vampyre grown stronger. "Stop blaming yourself," he said, because he could feel that guilt so clearly. There was no point in the former vampyre even denying that. "I asked it of you; no, I insisted it," he reminded him. He wouldn't have the love of his life spend his time blaming himself like that, when he wasn't alone in his blame. "You still have me .. even if I can't see you, I know you're here now," he hoped the reminder would be soothing in some way, but of course he couldn't be sure. The lycan's love for his husband wasn't dimming in the slightest. It felt like it was the only thing keeping him going. "You're my light in the darkness, my love," he admitted, opening his eyes, and while he couldn't see him, he had his eyes turned to him, "I don't need eyes to see what we have goes beyond everything."

Romeo could feel that doubt within Eden. Feel it knawing and now the lycan was starting to feel uncertain. Was he not what Eden wanted anymore? He felt hit gut hurt, wrapping it around itself and tying a knot that hurt. The notion that Romeo needed to be his own light felt bitter in that sense. Did the former vampyre try to hint at something? He wasn't sure, but he needed to get out and get some fresh air. "Yeah, I can walk .. most of the venom is being kept subdued by drugs, so it's most my eyes that are affected," he said, getting up a little carefully. It was clear he had really been working on his body, not only gaining a bit of weight, but muscle as well. He looked sturdier. He reached his hand out, fumbling a bit as he couldn't see, hitting a few things on it before he felt his way to some sunglasses. Just because he couldn't see didn't mean he needed to hurt his eyes even more. "They're getting me a cane and a teacher later today .. so I can get around easier," he muttered, hopefully reaching out to his husband that was still there. "Your elbow, please," he spoke softly, taking it if it was offered and let Eden lead the way outside.
The garden was looking alright seeing as autumn had hit it. The leaves crunching beneath their feet made Romeo smile a little. They walked for a while, mostly in silence and the lycan was trying to figure out what to say. Not that the silence was bothering him, but the fact that he couldn't see made everything so loud. "Can we sit down for a little bit?" He asked, sitting down on a bench if Eden took them to one. He wasn't the best at understanding distance, but he wasn't falling over himself at least. Sitting there he felt the wind move the trees, the rustling giving him some sort of calm before he finally gathered himself to speak. "This road is going to be hard .. I don't know if I'll ever be able to see again," he spoke, just being honest and up front. "You say I need to be my own light, and I am, I just feel like my power is only enhanced by you being there." He leaned his head over, bumping his ear against his shoulder before resting his head against him. It was clear he was just trying to adjust. And to be fair, for someone who had lost his sight, he was relatively calm about it.
"If you don't want to go on this journey with me .. I would understand .. because neither of us are really ourselves anymore." He was holding back tears, because he didn't ever want to stop being with Eden. He had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. "I want to be your husband .. but if you can't look at me without feeling regret, I can't help but feel like I've trapped you."

He hummed softly at the notion that Romeo could walk on his own. That at least was good, though how useful was it now that he couldnt see? He would still need someone to guide him. Eden didnt mind, but he also did decide not to think further of it. He looked at him as he got up. He did look different. Eden couldnt say how but he was noticing it. He frowned a little at the mention of a cane and a teacher. Something within him just couldnt accept that this was how it was going to be. He offered his elbow as Romeo asked for it.
They moved out into the garden and it was quite nice out there. He couldnt help but glance at Romeo with a saddened look in his eyes. There however wasnt much they could do, right? This was just how it was going to be now. The lycan asked to sit and Eden found them a bench to sit on. He looked at him as they sat in silence, wondering if he was supposed to say something or not. Romeo broke the silence and Eden gulped softly, tensing his jaw a little at the thought. What would their lives be like if Romeo really wouldnt be able to see again? He felt the bump on his shoulder before Romeo leaned his head on him. He reached one hand up to gently cup his face, running his thumb over his cheekbone.
Did he want to go on this journey with him? Why wouldnt he? Eden frowned a little at the words that made his beating heart hurt. He shook his head. "Dont say that." he muttered, leaning over to kiss the top of his head. "You havent trapped me. I made a promise to you." he reminded him, lifting his hand up to remove the lycan's sunglasses so he could look at him. Seeing the tears, he reached up and removed them gently. "You are my husband, I dont want to change that now or ever." he muttered, leaning in to kiss his lips softly. "We'll figure this out together. Like you've always said."

Eden's soothing touch and words meant more than perhaps he would ever know. He felt his sunglasses be removed and he looked without seeing, unsure if his eyes were pointing in the right direction, but did it truly matter? The soft kiss made him hum, feeling his heart flutter ever so softly. "I hoped you would say that," he admitted, because he felt so vulnerable without him. Sure, he had to come to terms with both of them having changed, but was there a problem with them simply figuring it out. For better or for worse was a part of that promise. Though honesty seemed to be their number one rule still. He just sat there, feeling the hand on his cheek, the wind in his hair and the scent of the human surround him in this moment. And perhaps he found himself wondering something that he maybe shouldn't even have been wondering about. "Would you still make love to me?" He asked, because them being able to look at one another had always been such a huge part of that sexual drive. And without it, Romeo felt nervous and yet he had grown a trust for Eden that he had never thought possible with anyone. He was truly the love of his life. "I mean .. I still want you .. like a lot,", it was so clear that he felt touch deprived and perhaps a bit frustrated about their lack of intimacy. It was like a craving that couldn't be soothed.

The honest answer made sense, but despite knowing it might be different, it didn't have to mean that it would be bad. Rather he thought maybe the difference would make their bond even stronger. The light kisses and gentle touches were soothing his soul, but fact of the matter was still that they couldn't really do much here. It pained him to know. He just wanted Eden, wanted to feel him and not miss a single thing, but of course it would be unwise in his current position as he was still trying to overcome the venom within him. The way his scalp was scraped made him sign, his eyes closing as he felt the warm breath against his neck, the kisses making him grit his teeth as he was trying to contain himself. "Ah .. Eden," a surprised soft moan left his lips as he kissed him below his ear over his pulse. The worst part about this was the fact that he wouldn't even know if anyone was around them. The apology made him frown, "don't apologize for making me moan, my love, take pride in them," he encouraged him. To him, every moan was a confirmation of the attraction they still felt for one another. The pure need that each of them seemed to long for. "Let's go back to my room .. there's something I need to show you." He smiled, waiting for Eden to guide them back.

Romeo was usually not one who wanted help, but in his current state he felt grateful that Eden was there. They got up and the former vampyre lead the way with Romeo holding on to his elbow. It wasn't like walking hand in hand, but it was pretty nice to be close regardless. As they came into his room he sat down on the bed before he tried to locate his bedside table. He did it a little carefully this time around, placing the sunglasses down and hoping they wouldn't fall right off the edge, though he soon heard the click of them landing on the ground. He sighed softly, closing his eyes in frustration because he hated this part of being blind. That he couldn't just easily find the thing he had dropped. At least it wasn't a round object as he would've probably just given up on that. He reached down, guiding himself using the nightstand and his hand reaching the floor. If Eden wanted to help he would shake his head no. He needed to do this himself. He finally got it, a small victory as he smiled, guiding himself up once more by the help of the furniture. This time around he managed to place them correctly.
He then reached for Eden, "come closer .. let me feel you," he pleaded in a soft sigh. He could no longer simply admire him from afar. If the human indeed came closer he would move his hands out until he reached his thighs, smiling a little, "have you been working out?" He asked, moving his hands up to his hips. This felt really good. Just slowly exploring his body, nothing sexual before he spoke again. "Take my shirt off," he said. They both knew how it had been such a struggle to the lycan in the past to show his torso like that, but he had been genuine in wanting to show him something. He wanted to show him the progress he had gone through. "Would you really deny your husband the chance to feel his love's hands on his skin?" because he knew that Eden couldn't deny him anything. Sure, it was risky with the place they were, but then again they surely had to see all kinds of stuff in a place like this.

Romeo wanted to do a lot of stuff himself, and the doctors had told him it would be good to just get used to it all. The question about whether he was serious or not made the lycan nod to confirm. He wanted this. Or rather he needed this. He couldn't view his own body anymore, and with it a lot of his insecurities had been easier to avoid. To be fair he did have a couple of layers on, but the former vampyre helped him with ease, and he had to admit he was a bit nervous. Being mindful of the feeding tube as well, he got completely out of his shirts, sitting now half naked on the bed in front of his husband. Reaching out he took his hand, guiding it to the bite where he had been claimed before letting him explore. He hadn't allowed that in a long time. Romeo looked strong, still lean and his muscles rather well hidden, but clearly not the skeleton that Eden had seen last. His breath started to hiccup slightly. "How do I look?" He asked, wanting an honest opinion as always. It was clear that his body hadn't been doing too well, a few darkened streaks from where the venom had settled in, but otherwise his skin was clear.