The everyday monsters in our lives

The next day it was pretty quiet from Sadie's room. It was clear they were just taking some time coming to terms with what their sire had decided. Martin had to get going eventually, having something to do for the clan, and Sadie just felt like being left alone.

Joanna was on the other hand a bit excited to see Joe again. She knew that he could be a little flaky, but she blamed it on his job and that things could just happen suddenly. She clearly wasn't angry as she prepared a few snacks and some drinks for when he came over. Maybe tonight was the night. Maybe they would finally find a word to describe what they were to one another. Joanna was clearly very much enamored with the other human, finding everything about him so good for her. He had a stable income, he was goal oriented. And on top of that he had a good personality and very good looks. Was it truly that strange that she had fallen for him?
She gussied herself up a little, wanting to look her best for him. He seemed to like it when she did something with her appearance, and it made her feel seen and wanted. Not that her natural beauty wasn't appealing, but maybe it was just something about having long eyelashes that he liked? She put on a nice dress as well, a nice orange color that suited her skin tone and hair color. When the knock on the door finally came, she went out to greet him, smiling as she opened the door. "Hi there handsome," she said, letting him into her apartment. He did look a little bit tired, but if he had been working late last night she wouldn't hold it against him. "Had a rough night?" she asked gently, helping him out of his jacket if he needed it, otherwise she would just head into the living room. She certainly knew how to cozy a place up, and she had gotten a lot of her interior decoration set up since meeting him. "You wanted to talk?" Might as well break the ice, moving over to sit on the couch, patting the seat next to her.

Joanna saw how fidgety he was behaving, and though some might've found it annoying, she actually found it rather cute. He was silent for a while before he dropped a bomb that made her frown in confusion as well as hurt. As he elaborated she just kept on getting hurt until he eventually spoke about how sweet she was. Frankly she wasn't really sure what to believe. Clenching her jaw a little she just looked down to the edge of her nice dress. She felt tears in her eyes because she genuinely felt lead on. "Did it .. mean anything to you?" She asked, because she was trying to understand if she had simply been a way for him to pass his time.
She took a deep breath, wiping her eyes so she wouldn't ruin her makeup too much before looking at him. "I have really fallen for you," she admitted with a soft scoff. She felt silly now. All of those happy feeling were slowly slipping out of her. She got up, wrapping her arms around herself. "I think it's time you leave." She clearly wasn't interested in talking this through. And she wasn't going to forgive him for what he had confessed to. Albeit they weren't in a relationship, they had at least discussed that they were exclusive. He had broken that trust, and she wasn't sure she could handle looking at him.
However if he tried to come near her she would move away fast. "Just fucking leave!" She screamed at him, not even wanting him to touch her. What if he had just touched the one he had been cheating on her with? What if all this time she had just been a stupid placeholder for the other human's fantasy. "Get out! I never want to see you again!" Throwing things at him as she wanted him out and gone.

The days passed by, Sadie did her thing, Martin came over once in a while, but nothing seemed to change on that front. Their sire was still figuring things out, and the more they pressed the longer the wait seemed to be. Cesare had enough of this. He didn't want to be tied down to something that he couldn't control yet. He was still figuring the puzzle out, but it was hard without the puzzle pieces. He had gone for a walk after having fed. Usually he would've entertained the donor, but he just left them for a stroll under the moon. He felt on edge, brooding over his problems as he was still trying to make everything go up. It was like a math problem he didn't know how to solve.
He soon enough spotted another man, perhaps in the same predicament as him, but he knew the face. Somehow he found relief in seeing him. The man he loved so dearly. He knew he hadn't been spotted yet, but he walked closer, standing beside him on a small bridge that overlooked a river. "Hello, little mouse," his tone as affectionate as ever, but he just didn't know how to turn it off. This was Benjamin! He couldn't start acting cold after what they had done. After all the need that he felt for him had been truly awakened. "The moon is very pretty tonight," he said, trying to smile a little as that was at least something positive.

Joe really didnt know where to go but eventually he ventured into a park. It was quiet, as it probably should at this hour anyway. He stood on the bridge, his elbows on the railing as he looked at his hands. He had oil stains and small cuts all over, some rather fresh from breaking the car. But hey, at least he felt better now right? It wasnt like he was still so frustrated.
He hadnt realized that someone was getting near, because he wasnt even really listening to his senses. He frowned a little as a familiar voice spoke to him, looking in the direction of it. His eyes just filled with hurt as he saw the seafoam green eyes on the man that he could recognize anywhere. “I havent really looked at it.” He shrugged, looking down at the water below. He was fiddling a little with his hands, like he was considering his words but just ended up sighing and shaking his head at himself. “She’s still very upset with you. And so am I.” He muttered.

Cesare hummed, "maybe you should once in a while," he just noted, but he wouldn't really dig into it. Right now he was rather just enjoying being near him. It was strange how that worked, wasn't it? Either way he just waited until the human beside him finally spoke, seeing him fiddle with his hands. The mutter hurt a bit, but it wasn't like he was unaware. "As you have every right to be," he just said, moving a hand down to hold those fiddling hands. He didn't care that they were stained by oil, just looking at the small cuts. He hadn't been good to himself. That much he could see, lifting his hand to place a gentle kiss to the inside of his cut palm. A small smudge of oil against his lips now, but he at least wanted to comfort him somewhat. "I'm not giving up on us," he just said, letting him know he was working hard on this. But maybe the human had given up hope?
He sighed, "I've of course broken things off with Diana," frowning a bit at the statement. He knew he hadn't had to do that. He knew that he could've stayed with her and keep up appearances, but he didn't care for her. At least not after seeing her cheat with his own eyes. But then again, was he much different? He thought not. "She didn't take it well .. Ended up listing all of those she had cheated on me with, which gave me a big blow to my pride," he swallowed, gritting his teeth as he looked down, "but I didn't really care about it once I thought it over." Maybe that was cruel to admit, but he hadn't felt like she had really mattered to him in the grand scheme of things, and once her façade was gone, all he really wanted to have Benjamin back in his arms. "Is there anything I could say .. That would make you go for a walk with me?" He just missed his company most of all. Even if he would be silent it was better than being alone.

Hearing that he had broken it off with Joanna too made him feel a bit at ease. Perhaps in the back of the vampyre's mind he had feared that the human would run right back to her. He hummed, signaling that he had heard what he had said. Sadie wouldn't want that. It was a simple reply, but it didn't answer his question. He wanted to reach out and touch him, reassure him that this was only temporary, but it seemed that the human was done waiting. They had waited this long. What was the rush now? Cesare wasn't going away, that was for sure. "She didn't say anything about a walk," he just reminded him with a soft smile. His whole body aching to touch him, pull him close and crinkle up his dirty shirt. But he restrained himself. "Maybe we are just heading the same way?" It was a loophole for sure, and he thought as long as they didn't do anything crazy then Sadie would have nothing to say about it.
He nodded for him to follow, walking casually beside him if he decided to come with. He let his hand rest by the side of his body as he dug into his inner pocket, fetching out a packet of cigarettes. He placed one between his lips, offering him one as well. Cesare had never really been a smoker before now. Lighting up his own he offered the lighter to the human as well. Inhaling softly, he felt the smoke hit him, but nicotine rarely did much. Perhaps a small kick, but nothing more than that. However he did like the feeling. "What car are you working on that is causing you so much trouble?" It was a completely normal question, but he was curious.

No she hadnt specifically mentioned that they couldnt go on walks but she had made it clear that the vampyre wouldnt get to be with him. And if she knew about this, how furious would she be? He frowned at the possible loophole, shaking his head. “You are unbelievable.” He sighed in defeat, but still ended up following. He noticed the cigarettes and looked at Cesare with a bit of a frown. “Since when did you start smoking?” He asked, but accepted it. It seemed a little odd. And did vampyres even get anything from it? Not that Joe would know what would or wouldnt work on a vampyre at all.
He took the lighter and lit the cigarette he had gotten, placing it between his lips to walk with his hands in his pocket. He only really lifted his hand to flick ashes at some point. The question about the car made him scoff. “Doesnt matter now. I trashed it. So I’ll have someone pick it up and get rid of it in the morning.” He said, lifting a hand to remove the cigarette from his mouth, holding it between two fingers as they walked. He didnt really look that much at Cesare as they walked. He couldnt bear to. “It was unfixable either way, but I broke some rusty tubes and a couple of other important parts; they dont make those anymore, and I could replace them with something new but that could maybe do more damage than good with the overall condition. It was a shit car but I had had hope.” He said, feeling irritated just talking about it and yet it was nice to get off his chest.

"Since I started missing your lips too much," he just said plainly. He knew it wasn't the most optimal thing to do, but Benjamin had always tasted a bit like cigarette smoke when they had kissed. The vampyre wasn't putt off from it, mostly because he just liked his lips, tongue and mouth in general. However this wasn't really a topic he wanted to linger on, as it hurt a bit to admit. Maybe it was strange, but he had just felt the need to mention it. As they walked he puffed on it quite frequently, ending up smoking it rather fast, but that was perhaps because the nicotine only worked for so long. Besides that his lips now more than ever longed to just lean over and get a taste of the real thing.
It was a good idea to just talk about cars. Though from what he was hearing it wasn't going too well with it. Humming softly he nodded, "well I don't know too much about cars," he had to admit. Sure he collected cars, but he sorta collected everything, didn't he? "And you couldn't contact someone who could make a re-creation of those parts? I mean when my old cars broke one of it's spark plugs I got in touch with someone who worked on cataloguing old parts and remaking them." A shot in the dark for him, but could it not be worth it to look into it? At least before he trashed the car. "I mean at this point you've probably spent quite a lot of money on it already, so what's a bit of extra cash if it's going to fix your problem?" He smiled. Though it was up to Benjamin what he wanted to do.
He made a turn as they came to a path, choosing the long walk around the lake as he just wanted an excuse to walk with him a bit more. "Speaking of cars .. I might legitimately need your input," he pondered out loud, but he had also wanted to get this fixed. "I have an old Morris, roughly from the 60s if I recall, and there's a bit of an annoying creaking and resistance with the break pedal," he didn't know if it was anything he knew anything about, but it was worth a shot, right?

The confession caught the human off guard and he simply didnt say anything to it. He had expected another answer, like it just being a bad habit or something else. Joe wasnt too interested in talking about the car he had broken completely. It was pretty much beyond saving after what he had done to it. The suggestion therefore just made him shrug. “Sure it would have been a good idea if I hadnt completely wrecked it.” He said. It just wasnt worth repairing at this point.
He let the vampyre decide the road, hearing the ponder, he glanced at Cesare, a little curious to hear what he needed. Though when the vampyre described it, the human chuckled. “Are you sure you havent just worn it out? It’s an old car.” He asked, thinking that could be a possibility. But he sighed softly. “I’d have to see it to really know. The brake could creak because it has been worn out by just using it. And the other, a hard brake, could be the brake rod itself needing a change I guess.” He said, stopping to look out on the lake as he noticed someyhing. He narrowed his eyes to then chuckle as he realized that it was just a few ducks swimming around not far from them. But it was night? They werent supposed to be out right? He hadnt really realized that he had reached out to stop the vampyre too, holdng onto his sleeve.

He hummed softly at the suggestions to fixing it. Sure he could just have someone come look at it, but he wasn't sure what to even ask them about. He was certain that if he just told them to fix it, they would make it as if it was brand new. He didn't want that. He wanted the car to still show the life it had lived, though if the breaks were giving out, then perhaps it would be best to have them looked over. "I suppose I couldn't hire a handsome mechanic to do such things?" He asked with a slight charming smile on his lips. He knew that the human would probably turn it down, but it wouldn't hurt to ask.
When he was stopped he looked down to see the hand stopping him, a bit confused as he turned to look in the direction that Benjamin was. Seeing the ducks he chuckled softly, but he almost felt like he couldn't move. What he did do was reach up for the human's warm hand, taking it in his own and carefully walking closer to the ducks. He squatted down, looking at the small birds that definitely shouldn't be out at this hour. "I suppose all creatures can have sleepless nights," he pondered, looking up at the human with a soft yet vulnerable smile. Turning his eyes back on the ducks he just watched them swim around, a bit sad that he didn't have anything to offer them.

He chuckled softly at the question as he shrugged a bit. "I suppose sleep is very different for us vampyres," he nodded, watching the ducks get back in the water, hopefully swimming away to find a place to rest. He just kept looking at the water. "Sleep for you might be a place where your subconscious runs wild; you can have fantastical dreams and frightening nightmares, but once you wake up you know the things happening within are gone." He could only speak from what he had heard over the years, getting back on his feet he just looked out at the water. "We vampyres are doomed to not have that rest .. our brains keep going; our minds ticking with ideas, worries, and all sorts of thoughts that blend together in one big mess," turning he finally looked to the handsome man whom he cared so much for. He just held his hand, not really wanting to let go as he felt that would break the connection they had right now. If this was all he could get, he would want it to the fullest.
"I sometimes wonder what I would dream about if I could sleep," he admitted, just studying the human's face, even if he was avoiding his gaze. It wouldn't stop Cesare from admiring the man he had fallen so hard for. "Perhaps I could dream of a solution to all our troubles .. perhaps I could dream of the memories I have with you," to him that sounded like a wonderful trade for 8 hours of every day, but alas it wasn't meant for vampyres. "The dream world isn't for my kind, and we are never meant to be there -that is why slumbers are so scary for us," he knew that Benjamin maybe wanted to know more, and he would gladly give him all the information he needed. "From what I've heard of the myths it is said that Caemille and the lord of sleep made a bet once, what it was about has been lost to time, but Caemille lost, and she were never to set foot in his realm again," he told the story with a calm and soothing voice. Surely Benjamin knew who the goddess of vampyres were. "That is why we, her creations, are not allowed to sleep," perhaps it was just a myth, but myths always took their roots in reality somewhere.

"I rest .. it's not like sleep, because I do not dream and my mind does not get a break," he said, reaching out to touch his chin. He couldn't help it, he just had to have the human face him, just once. Once they were face to face he spoke again, even if the human did not look him in the eyes. "But being with you, holding you and keeping you safe in my arms makes me feel like I'm dreaming; just as when I kiss you makes me feel like I have a heartbeat," he explained, but he was unsure if it was something he could truly describe. But he supposed Benjamin just had to take his word for it. Looking at him his thumb caressed the warm lower lip. This was bordering on the loophole they had established earlier, but frankly he found it unfair. He hadn't denied Sadie anything, merely asked her to postpone it.
"But I suppose I dream because you are my dream, and I feel a heartbeat because you have my heart," he smiled softly, clearly not minding that it could be the truth. His lips separated, breathing out in a soft shudder. He was doing everything to not lean in. Not press his lips against those warm and comforting ones. "Do you hate me .. because of what I have done?"

"Are we not being held hostage as well?" He asked softly, hating that his hand was being pulled off, the heat lingering on his skin being the only reminder of the touch. He just wanted him. Wanted him so much that it hurt, but not honoring those he had created would not be fair. "Your sister agreed to us being together until I said something she didn't want to hear," he spoke rather rationally. He knew that Benjamin was very stuck on his sister and her happiness, but could he not see that she already found solace in Martin? It wasn't like he had forced the two vampyre lovers apart. In fact he had given them plenty of time together. "What if, down the line, I had proposed to you .. We were getting ready to get married and because I made an order your sister didn't agree with we would've been torn apart at the most impactful moment?" Cesare was good at thinking ahead. Sadie reacting the way she did had made him realize that she held the control over the man he loved. "Would you have let her decide then? Would you have let yourself be pulled back to your apartment as if you were a bargaining chip?" He looked down, feeling so lost in all of this.
"I want you to be with me if that is what you wish .. your sister will allow you to be with me if it's beneficial to her," he took a step away, "I am not asking you to choose, I am not a cruel man to those I love, but I would love if you could try and see it from my point of view." Or perhaps he was just making the human more mad now. It was hard to tell, and he was himself rather upset, not that he showed it. "Do you want me to sign off on their marriage and let my clan hierarchy crumble around me? Because if you command me I will do it. I will do anything for you, but know that if you choose it I might lose my family too."

"I'm not telling you to doubt her .. I'm telling you that if she can give her consent and remove it in the same day, then she could just as well do it down the line," he simply stated. Was that totally unreasonable? Or was the human blinded by his sister's actions? The next questions hurt, not because of the pushes, but because he felt like he wasn't being heard here. Did Benjamin really think that he was prolonging this just to torture both of them? The pushes got weaker as he went on, eventually he reached up taking his hands in his own, pulling them to his chest where his heart would've been beating. They were standing close now, and the tall vampyre had to bend his neck to look down to him. "Are you afraid I do not want you because it is taking so long?" He asked. He wanted to get to the bottom of this, and the more the human communicated the easier he could help him.
He looked at him rather seriously, not restraining him, but hearing the sound of the human heart beating ever so lovely. "I only want to be with you." A serious reassurance, but he wasn't fooling around. "I am working to make everyone happy, and yet I am getting blamed for the misery in the meantime; Have I truly become a place of sorrow to you?" He was gently asking questions, mostly to understand, "You think I do not long for the morning that should've been? How I would've held you close, hearing your sweet moans echo the room and forgetting that there ever was a time when we weren't together .. do you not think that every night I wish you were there, warming up our bed, smiling at me tiredly with bliss in your eyes?" If Benjamin thought so, then he wasn't sure what to think anymore. He looked down to their hands. He felt so close to solving all of this, but he just couldn't find an easy solution. That was what took time. That and the normal upkeep with the clan. He couldn't just abandon them when they needed him. "Your sister has not lost her love; I have not forced her away from Martin; I have not cut them off from those they care for," he said in a serious manner. Could he not see that he had not been cruel to ask them to wait?

He saw how pained his love was, and he wished to take all of it away from him. He knew that deep down Benjamin was to some degree still a scared young boy who just longed for someone to love him back. And as he started pleading he shook his head, cupping his face with both of his palms making him look a him. Wiping away a few tears, he even dared to lean in and kiss some of them away. "You do matter to me," he whispered softly. Why else was he accepting of Sadie taking him away? He wasn't looking to hurt Benjamin in this, he only wanted his happiness. But he had asked to feel it, and he leaned down, connecting their lips in a loving kiss, one of longing and need. He didn't kiss him just once, that would be cruel, but he kissed him a fair few times. "How would you see it fit that I prove it to you?" he asked, because he had a lot of ideas, but this wasn't just about his wants. It was about what Benjamin needed from him.
"We can go away for a while together? Hop on my boat, sail around and just be free to be the two of us?" It was clear he would move the mountains if that was what it took. "I can get us a room somewhere? An apartment? A house? Somewhere we can meet whenever you start to doubt how much you mean to me," he kissed him again, sighing softly against his lips, having missed the taste. The cigarettes couldn't even compare to how addictive his lips felt. "I will do anything to show how much you matter to me."

Show him? At a public park? Sure, they could do that, but wouldn't that make the risk of getting caught that much bigger? "Have patience with me, dear one, and come with me," he said, kissing him again before he lifted him up rather easily. He didn't do this often, and it wasn't really looked upon as a romantic way to transport someone, but he could move as fast as a car. "Hold on my love, my life," he told him before they were off. He held around him so that he could run freely but that he would be facing the opposite way of where they were heading. Benjamin would see the world pass by them, swirling into nothingness, but Cesare could see everything crystal clear.
When he finally stopped, the human would be able to hear the ocean, the waves clashing in as he put him down ever so delicately. "Are you alright, little mouse?" he was worried that perhaps he had run too fast, but they had also passed quite the distance in no time. He let him get used to standing still, hopefully the ocean being soothing to him. "When you are ready, turn around .. there you will find our safe place for tonight," he told him, whispering sweetly in his ear. And rightfully so as he would turn around, there not far from the water in an area reserved mostly for vacation homes was a nice tiny one. It was perhaps not bigger than a two room apartment, but they wouldn't be needing much space. Once the human was ready to walk on his own, Cesare guided him to it, the lights turning on by themselves as he pressed a code, one that he told aloud to the man of his dreams if he wanted to come here again.
Inside it was nice and cozy, the dim lights giving it a slight surreal look. "I promised to show you," he said, taking his own shoes off before he started taking his clothes off just for Benjamin to see. He went over, opened the doors that lead down to the beach, the moon really showing how beautiful it was as it lit inside the room. In the middle there was a bed and a few knickknacks, but it was almost untouched. As if it had been bought but never truly moved into. He got out of his shirt, moving on to his pants, and perhaps the human could already see what was hiding beneath. "Do you need help?" he asked, moving closer.