The everyday monsters in our lives

"To be fair I have quite the head start on you," he argued. Quite a few years to be completely honest. But he wasn't disregarding what he said. No, he wanted to take everything into consideration. However that it was what everyone else thought he shook his head, reaching up to cup his face, his hand giving him a squeeze into the one he was holding. "I don't think you are doing this for my wealth, in fact I hadn't ever considered it," he told him straight up. No, if Benjamin had wanted him for the money, he would've given in much sooner, he knew it. Leaning down he pressed their lips together in a tender kiss. There weren't anyone around. Just the two of them. And that was what mattered.
"I love you, and nothing anyone will ever say is going to change that," he assured him against his lips, kissing him again. Couldn't the human just understand that money had no real value besides nice things? Cesare wanted to use his money as he pleased, and he had bought this home way before Benjamin had ever entered his life. "I don't mind you taking your time .. in fact I appreciate that you know when you've reached your limit; it's quite admirable and I wouldn't ever force you to change that." There were so many things about him that he admired, that was for sure. "If I want to spoil my boyfriend, then please let me .. I want to cook for him .. I want to take him nice places and walk with him hand in hand .. I want to kiss him all over and make love to his yearning body."

Cesare sighed, because all he truly wanted to do was spoil him rotten. But the mutter made him know that perhaps he had stepped over a boundary. "Alright .. how about a compromise?" he suggested. He knew he couldn't dial himself down to zero, so finding some middle ground would be good. "I get one day each month where I can spoil you, one day," he suggested, "the rest of the time we'll be together and not even think about money, wealth or otherwise." He smiled, hoping this was something he could agree to. Leaning in he kissed him once more, sighing against his lips because he knew that this trip would count as that once a month, but it would be worth it.
They kept walking as Cesare described he needed some shadow before he would feel like he was burning up by the sun. Heading back towards the small beach house he sighed once he reached some shadows, pulling his shirt off and over his head tossing it onto a chair inside. "Here," he said, guiding the human up to feel how warm his skin was. He chuckled as it almost felt like he was warmer than the human for once. "It's strange .. the sun heats us up to be a very nice temperature, but it makes us so weak .. as if my kind thrives in the cold," he chuckled.

He chuckled softly at the gasp, hoping it wasn't because it felt bad. It felt good to stand here with him, just letting himself be touched for once, though the confession made him frown. "You can touch me all you want," he promised him, moving closer as his hands moved around to the human's back, letting them wander up under his shirt, grasping lightly at his skin. "In fact if you want we can spend the rest of the day doing whatever you want," he said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. But as with everything, it was like Cesare couldn't ever have enough. His kisses left a trail down to his cheek and further down to his neck. Breathing him in he smiled softly, though he also knew he had to feed soon so he didn't risk biting him. "I just need .. a few moments .. and then I'm ready to do your bidding," he said between sweet and lingering kisses.
He hating having to let go, but he needed to down a few vials if he was going to keep staying close to him. Not that he was afraid of biting him, but he was afraid of associating his smell with hunger. No, his scent was only for his enjoyment, not food. He just made sure to turn his back to him as he drank, not wanting to upset him. As a couple of vials had been swallowed he washed them out and put them in the recycling bit before heading out to the bathroom where he washed and brushed his teeth. He hadn't ever really thought about his own breath after drinking, but in this case he couldn't think to be selfish.
Returning he walked up to him, wrapping his arms around him from behind as he started to kiss down the side of his neck, even stopping a few places to suck his skin or lick it. Nothing too crazy, just letting him feel how adored he was. "Where do you want me to touch you?" He asked, as his hands grasped softly at his hips. If his boyfriend was touch deprived, he would have to make sure that he didn't anymore once he had to leave this place. "Under your shirt?" Asking it in a slow tease as his fingers lifted his shirt up, touching the lower part of his abdomen gently.

Feeling how Benjamin just relaxed into his touch, how he made small sweet sounds at the whim of his lips made all of it so worth it. The complain made him smile, "I'm allowed to today .. didn't we just agree to that?" He muttered sweetly, looking down as he moved his hands further up, just letting him feel his hands all over his chest and stomach. He groaned softly, his stomach tingling with butterflies as being with him was more than he could've ever asked for. "This view really suits you .. I should've brought you here sooner," he whispered, kissing his forehead gently. "Stay tonight as well .. I want to make love to you under the stars," maybe he was starting to get a little greedy, but he was sorta afraid of letting go of him now that he had him. He sighed softly, already feeling a bit affected by close they were.
"Can I take off your shirt?" He asked, just wanting to feel his warm skin against his own. If he was allowed to, he would help him out of it, pulling him into his embrace once more, his hands running down the sides of his arms. "You're so strong," he muttered, clearly liking it a lot. He loved how the muscles would tense where he touched him. "Could I come watch you work out?" Or was that a weird request.

Benjamin agreed and it felt good that he at least reminded both of them what they were to one another. Would it really be that strange for him to stay out of the apartment for a day? Not really if you asked Cesare. But then again he didn't really know his daily routine. "I can tell," he said, smiling as he kept touching him until the question was asked. Shrugging a little, "you're never boring to look at," he argued, giving him his charming smile. He liked how he could be a bit playful still. As if he was still trying to woo him, but knew that he had him. "At least you could invite me over to have a shower with you afterwards?" He chuckled softly, though that would also be very good. He was sure that seeing the human right after his workout would be a work of art. See his aching muscles still tensing up would be a good sight for sure.
The wonder made him frown softly, though not because he didn't understand. Perhaps because it hadn't really been something he thought of. Humming he leaned down, kissing him along his shoulder, breathing him in. "I suppose it's all about balance," he thought out loud, just voicing himself, "like, when you hold an egg and you don't want to break it, you don't slam it into a hard surface, right?" Though it wasn't a good analogy, perhaps Benjamin could understand it. "I do have to be mindful .. but you're a living and breathing person who reacts to my touch, and I'm not afraid of touching you like I want to," he said, nuzzling his nose against his skin. Subconsciously he knew not to pull too hard or bite too hard. But maybe that was something he had just developed over time. "The first many years of my life I was only around vampyres where I didn't have to worry about hurting someone - however as I got more mortal friends I started to learn how to shake their hands without breaking bones or hugging them without squeezing the air out of their lungs." He wasn't sure if that was the answer he was looking for. "But I do hope you tell me if I ever do something that hurts or makes you feel uncomfortable," he reminded him, "though I have a feeling you're loving my touch right now, aren't you little mouse?"

"I'll try to behave, but I won't make any promises," he chuckled softly. No watching him work out would be something else, he was sure of it. But maybe it was just because Cesare was so attracted to him. Not just his body, but all of him, and he loved seeing him healthy and fit. At least that meant he took care of himself.
The curious question made him hum, "I have, though it's not really something I go around boasting about," he reminded him. The way he was now all of a sudden playing coy made him grit his teeth a little, kissing him up his shoulder and back to his neck. "I see I have my job cut out for me then," he muttered against his skin, moving up to kiss him just below his ear, knowing that it had been one of the spots that the human reacted very positively to. At least he had when they had been in the heat of the moment. "I'm just struggling figuring out what part of you to touch now," moving his hands palms against his skin and down his stomach playing gently with the edge of his pants. His fingertips only lightly peeking under.
The suggestion made him a little surprised. It was a lot to ask for all at once. "Are you sure?" He wasn't going to let the human think he had to do this. He knew he struggled with being public around him, and the blood was perhaps something they could introduce more down the line, if he would ever be ready for it. "I mean I would love to go on a real date with you, but it has to be because it's something you want, and not something you feel like you are expected to do." Cesare wanted to make that very clear. That was when he noticed how he was looking at his bare wrist.
Turning him around, he took his hand with the wrist he had bitten on to back then. Lifting it he placed a few gentle kisses against his skin. "Are you afraid that I'll bite you?" He asked, his free hand wrapped around him, resting on the small of his back. "I would never do anything to harm you .. you brought me back from my slumber with your blood .. but I did taste your blood before then." He had to come clean about it, telling him how he had tasted it back when he had been held captive. "I know I shouldn't have .. but I couldn't just stand there and watch him taste you like that."

He knew it was a horrible truth to put on him right now, but he also felt if he kept it any longer his head would implode. The human had every right to be furious with him, and he looked down so filled with shame. "They were draining you into containers .. one of the .. creatures .. dipped their finger into it and .. and .. I got furious," he said, his shoulders trembling a bit. That night had been a haze. "So, I did what I had to do .. I put his finger, with your blood on it, into my mouth and bit his finger off as well," he knew he had been wrong for tasting Benjamin's blood. And without consent. "They had even given me a vial of yours .. but all the blood you had stolen from you I mixed with my own blood and burnt it," he assured him. No-one would ever taste his blood again, unless he himself wanted it.
"I'm so sorry .. I-I knew I should've told you sooner but so many things happened and .. and .." He fell to his knees, his shoulders trembling at the regret he had. The blood hadn't been his to take. It hadn't been his to taste, and yet he had done it out of greed. Out of this feeling of possession that he was afraid to admit might've even been love back then.

The vampyre began to explain himself and Joe just looked at him, awaiting whatever explanation he had. He still hadnt realized back then how much blood that had been taken from him. It hadnt put him in life threatening danger but it had put him on bed rest for a while. He had at least managed to piss off Martin during that time. Not that Cesare's words were soothing. Even if the other vampyre had been opting to have his blood, it was like that family had already been way over the line, so how worse could it get?
A vial? He frowned a little. "Do you still have it? The vial." he then asked. Had he kept it all this time? Cesare apologized falling to his knees and Joe looked at him with hurting eyes. "So beside the time I offered it to you, you now know what it's like. So if you get hungry you'll know what I have?" he asked, shaking his head because he couldnt follow the vampyre's train of thought at all. "What so because you love me, you deserve my blood more? Why? I dont understand why you would do that?" he asked, shifting between the seafoam green eyes.

The vial? He frowned as he supposed he had to admit to it. Gritting his teeth he nodded in defeat, "I never drank from it .. I wanted to give it back to you once I had killed her," but then again too many things had happened and he hadn't ever really gotten the chance. Though he had kept it safe, locked away and out of touch from anyone. "It's nothing like that," he protested, shaking his head no. He wasn't looking to drink from him ever again. That wasn't why he was with him. "I'm no more together with you because of your blood than you are together with me for my wealth."
"I don't feel like I deserve your blood .. I just .. I'm a selfish monster and I couldn't just stand there and watch him do that," he said, looking up at him. It hadn't been about the blood it had been about the act. Taking Benjamin without his permission, draining him of his blood and only barely keeping him alive so they could drain him more. "I don't even understand it myself," rubbing his eyes a little as his bloody tears stung in strange ways, "It was that same jealousy I felt when you were with Joanna .. the same reason as to why I wanted to be mortal with you .. I felt that darkness in me and it was horrible and the worst part of it is that I don't regret it." Shaking his head he looked up at him, his eyes sad as he wasn't sure what to say. Maybe plead with him not to leave him again. He began shaking just by the thought. Looking down he started crying, "please don't leave me .. I can't .. I can't do that again."

He had wanted to wait till the girl who had found him first was dead? Joe didnt even want the vial! What good could the blood do him like this? It was already taken from him! The protest made him narrow his eyes, unsure if he could believe it. As he compared it to what Joe had worried about earlier, the human looked hurt. Was it even the same?
He called himself a monster and Joe grit his teeth before he shoved at the vampyre. "No you dont get to hide behind being a monster!" he said. He needed something better than that. An explanation that made sense. Only it seemed that he wouldnt get one, not one that would soothe him. He just looked at him, clearly thinking of what to do. It would be rather like him to just storm off in anger. But then Cesare began pleading with him. His eyes began to sting and his shoulders were trembling. He opened his mouth, feeling his lip quiver. "Show me then..." he presented his wrist, "-bite it." he said, placing his wrist at the vampyre's lips. He knew he was cruel but he had to know, tears running down his cheeks as he looked at him. He didnt care about the implications.

He was pushed but he barely moved, at least not as much as someone else would move if they were pushed. The human presented his wrist to him and the vampyre was confused. Then the words hurt more than anything. He got up on his feet, grabbing his arm and lifting his wrist to his lips. Opening his mouth he placed his teeth to his skin, but the bite he gave him was no harder than the ones he used on his neck. He wasn't piercing his skin, he wasn't seeking to draw blood. And as he had quote on quote bitten him he kissed his wrist softly. "I can't," he admitted. He couldn't. How could he after he had seen what those creatures had done to him? He wrapped his arm around him, pulling him close so that their chests were pressed together.
Looking down to his eyes, he then suddenly began to speak. "I didn't want them to drink your blood .. because I wanted to claim you .. even though it is stupid and brutal, deep down I just wanted to be with you in some capacity," he admitted. He had been weak and sad. He had been so low. "I just want you, Benjamin, I want you and to be a part of your life, because you just being here and close to me has made me feel more alive than I've ever felt." Letting go of his arm he moved the hand up to cup his cheek. "I suppose I couldn't let them drink it, because it would be stealing a part of you .. and I can't settle for just a part when I want all of you." His eyes were still filled with tears, his cheeks stained pink from the blood, but it perhaps made him look more alive.

He shook his head. Benjamin wasn't the one that needed to be sorry. He however embraced him completely, holding him as close as he could without hurting him. The mutter made him feel scared. Scared because was that what filled the human's mind? "You're .. scared of me?" He asked rather perplexed. His jaw tensing as his brow furrowed, not sure what to feel. He kissed the side of his head, "I could never hurt you .. never .. and frankly perhaps I'm scared of what you can do too when you have my heart." Sighing softly he just held him there, being close as their skin was flush with one another. He knew that he would feel better to confessing this later, but right now he felt like the scum of the earth. Frankly he wasn't even sure what to say, because if Benjamin was scared of him, what could he truly do to soothe him? "I love you so much, but if I do something that frightens you then tell me .. I don't want to hide behind being a monster .. you are right."

"No, I'm scared of what you can do. What you are. And what that means for me." he muttered. He wasnt really scared of the vampyre. But he couldnt deny that he was just a human. He was a source of food for most vampyres and he knew that they viewed him as that too. The assurance would ease his mind eventually but for now was it not doing much. And the reminder that the vampyre was at risk too, made him realize that he wasnt completely innocent in this too. Cesare had after all been on his knees, pleading not to be abandoned. "Okay." he muttered, nodding to assure the vampyre that he had heard him. He needed a moment where they just stood before he was ready to move away, drying his eyes off. "You can keep the vial. It doesnt mean anything to me, whether you have it or destroy it. I just dont want it." he said, shaking his head. It would just wake bad memories. He went back inside to go wash his face, even if he hadnt been crying, his eyes felt puffy and his cheeks warm and slightly swollen. He went to sit on the bed as he dried his face off.

Scared of what he was? What he could do to him? Well it didn't really make it sound any better to the vampyre if he was being honest. But what he did know now that he had at least been honest with him. Benjamin seemed to calm down a little as he realized that it wasn't only Cesare who was capable of hurt here. Hadn't he heard him pleading? On his knees on top of that. He let the human be as he went to go wash his face. Cesare just headed to the kitchen sink, washing off the pink stains relatively easy as nothing seemed to be stuck on a vampyre for too long anyways.
Once done he went to sit next to him on the bed, if he was allowed to. "I know my world is big and scary .. but if I'm honest your world scares me too," he admitted, reaching down to take his hand if he would let him. If so he would entangle their fingers, just looking at them. "We've had this talk before .. about how we are so different from one another and yet I still see so much we have in common," he admitted. He gave his hand a light squeeze, as he felt a bit in his head about the vial problem on his hands. Could he truly just destroy something like that? But then again if the human didn't want to be reminded of it, then it was best to just have it destroyed. "Let's just .. talk, alright?" They both needed it.

He didnt mind the vampyre joining him because it maybe was best for them to talk things out. He looked at his hands and he listened to him before he hummed. "I guess you were right all this time." he muttered. Back then had he just been stubborn and in denial. He did agree to talk it through and so they did. It actually bettered his mood quite a lot and by evening was he smiling and chuckling once more. "I want you to meet my friend, Mark." he said as he had thought about it since the vampyre had spoken to him on the phone. He was holding their entangled hands, looking at it as he used the other to trace his skin. "I think you would like each other. He's far more cheerful than I am. And less brainwashed." he said with a small smile. His phone rang and he reached over to grab it. "It's my boss again." he muttered before he picked up. He listened for a bit before he glanced at the vampyre. "No, I dont really feel like coming in." he said, but his expression then changed as he frowned a little. "Let me think about it. I'll call you back." he said before he bid him farewell and hung up. He exhaled deeply and looked up at the ceiling. "There is an event tonight. It's not too bad, the location is pretty good and calm. It's just that he needs a few more hands. Apparently no others are available."

"Oh he'll probably hate me after the stunt I pulled on him earlier," he chuckled, shaking his head no, but it was clear he did want to meet him. Leaning over he kissed his cheek, "of course I won't like him better than you .. I mean I need to have a guy that can push back and argue with me." Which was true, at least in regards to Benjamin. He knew that on some parts they were so very different, some different views and different upbringing, but at the end of it it seemed like this could work out. That they could find common ground and compromises. He was at least hopeful about it, and it made everything worth it when he saw him smile.
As his phone rang he sighed, just leaning in to kiss his neck and shoulder rather quietly as he spoke with his boss. He didn't want the man on the other line to hear him, but he also wanted to soothe the stressed human. He hung up and the deep exhale told him more than enough to know what was going on. "You're not obligated to go to work just because he can't find other hands," he reminded him, snaking his hand around him, pulling him down on the bed with him. "Besides," pulling his lips away from his neck to search his face, "we still have a date to get to .. and I still have a few hours left to spoil you." A small grin spreading on his face, nuzzling their noses together. "Do you really want to leave your boyfriend longing for you even more?"