Obsession and the obsessed

He only confirmed her fears with his whisper, making her sniffle as she believed that once she’d start sobbing there wouldnt be an end to it. She felt this was cruel, for the both of them it was so cruel that they were talking about this in a car after the shock of the crazy vampyre. She wasnt sure what she was supposed to tell him. That she was sorry? That it all could have been different if he had just stopped her at the door? She felt her lip tremble and as she refused to look at him instead of the road, her heart was aching. “I had this childish thought that you couldnt be scared of me after all we had been through. But that night, after I told you that I loved you, you still trembled like I was harming you,” she almost whispered before a small whimper left her lips. “Xander, I dont fall in love with people. Love was what killed the people that made me,” she confessed before she had to stop the car at the side of the road before she covered her face with her hands. “It’s too scary,” she whimpered into her hands, crying her heart out. “But here you are,” she cried, shaking her head.

Her mind didnt think she deserved his touch but her body didnt seem to care as she entangled their fingers and held his hand to her heart as she cried. She listened to him in what would have been silence if she wasnt whimpering in what should have felt like a heartbreak but it wasnt aching as much when she held his hand so close to heart. She knew she didnt deserve him, and the way he sounded so ridden with guilt confirmed her thoughts as she believed she had made him feel like this was his fault. Her need for a safe place where she could belong, she had ruined herself - Being the one who walked away from it. She shook her head as he apologized, looking at him with tearful eyes, “Dont,” she spoke over his words before he could finish them.
“Dont think that it’s your fault in any way,” she said, sniffling as she tried to contain her crying, just for a moment as she was going to say what she needed to say. “I was the coward who walked away. You’re the one that deserves better,” she said, shaking her head at herself. “I dont feel the same without you, but I cant give you the chance to forgive me,” she mumbled, her voice breaking as she cried again. Shaking her head she felt so frustrated with herself and so sad.

She looked at him with those teary eyes as his hand touched her cheek. She agreed with his mumble, her lip quivering a little from the lingering emotions when she cried before. A few tears were still rolling down her cheeks, but she just looked at him, into those green eyes that she once loved to just stare into a few weeks back. She couldnt believe there wasnt anything to forgive, she simply couldnt but sitting here and discussing it wouldnt do any of them any good. She looked back at the road, biting the inside of cheek as he suggested saving the talk for where she was headed. She simply nodded before she dried her eyes and got the car back out on the road.
She was just quiet for the rest of the ride, but halfway through, she got the courage to carefully place her hand on his, feeling a little selfish in the moment but she had missed him so dearly, she couldnt even comprehend it herself. Soon they were at a little house in the eastern district, a family home it would seem. She parked the car before she made a deep sigh, “This is my mothers house. We’ll be safe here for now,” she said in a quiet tone before getting out of the car. Going inside, it was like stepping into the house of a cheery grandmother, which was what Aiden’s mother was. Stepping out of the kitchen, the old lycan smiled brightly, “A guest? Well well, Aiden you should have told me,” she said in a delighted tone as she then saw how they both were looking. “Oh... my. I’ll get some water in the kettle and leave you two to it,” she then said with a warm smile before walking out into the kitchen. Aiden made a small sigh as she got out of her jacket and shoes. “Do you want cookies?” Aiden’s mother asked, to which Aiden looked at Xander with a mixture of lingering sadness but also apologetic for her mother’s overly grandmother-alikeness.

Aiden’s mom stuck her head out as soon as he said he was stuffed, with one glance she just clicked her teeth before placing a couple of cookies on a plate before serving it on the kitchen table. Aiden made a small nod at Xander before pointing down the hall, “Second door on the left,” she guided him. Her mother soon came out when the water was slowly heating up. She placed a hand on Aiden’s shoulder to give it a soft squeeze before she looked at her daughter, “I know you can handle it from here,” she said before eyeing Xander for a moment. She moved down the hall to the livingroom where she went in to resume her cleaning.
Aiden went out into the small kitchen, leaning against the kitchen counter as she just kept staring at the kettle with a blank expression. She hadnt thought her day would turn out this way and frankly she feared that she would walk out of this house with a broken heart once they had had their talk. She couldnt possibly believe that he would want her back when she had shown to back out when things got hot. She frowned a little at her own thoughts before she fetched two cups and some different tea brands stuffed into a small bowl.

She just stood as she watched the kettle to then pour the hot water into the cups before placing them on the table. She heard him stumble and turned her heard to look at Xander. Even when he was looking his worst, she thought him to be so beautiful. His question made her shake her head, “No. I wouldnt be mad,” she said before she felt her jaw tremble, because she thought she would actually feel the opposite of mad, she would feel quite happy. She reached out for his hand, biting her lip a little nervously though she wouldnt blame him if he didnt want to hold her hand. “Havent you eaten the food I left behind?” She asked a little worried now that she could get a proper look on him.

Feeling their hands connect brought back the safe comforting feeling she had been missing all this time. She couldnt allow herself to be lost in it, no matter how tempting it may have seemed. She frowned a little at his words, making a small nod. She hadnt really been eating properly either, but with her mother looming over her in the dark clouds she had seemed to be in, she wasnt left malnourished. But she felt sad that he hadnt been feeding himself properly, making her realize the severity of her actions. She should have taken the opportunity to belittle herself like her mind seemed to want to, but he kept her in her place by his side with her hand in his with his words. She looked at him, into those green eyes before she carefully lifted a hand to touch his cheek. She wanted to chuckle at his words but she wasnt in the mood to be laughing. “I wouldnt want a first,” she whispered as she carefully traced her fingers up his cheek to his cheekbone, cupping his face in her palm. “I cant promise you that my mind wont make any rash decisions for me when times get difficult. But I can promise to come talk to you about them before I do something I might regret,” she said in a hushed tone, looking into his eyes. She knew she had skipped the talking, but she wanted to make it clear before they could begin to go through what had happened.

It was truly a difficult situation. Because she felt so undeserving of watching him rest his cheek in her hand, feel the softness of his skin that she had missed like nothing before. Tearing herself free and walking away had seemed so easy but pulling all the emotions from the root with no pot to plant in, gave her no ground to stabilize herself in. So could you really blame her for forgetting all the bad that had happened for just a moment as she looked at him? She bit her lip a little uncertain at his confession. It didnt seem fair to her that he had to apologize like it was expected of him to just open up and communicate despite all that had happened. His whisper made her eyes flicker for a moment and her mouth quiver with eager to speak yet no words to say. And she didnt have to because in the moment she found her words her mother walked in on them, taking Aiden by surprise. By instinct she pulled her arm to her with the intent to get some distance to Xander but it seemed that her head wasnt with her body so instead she pulled him a little closer, not too close but rather close for someone who were still mending their bonds. She gasped, looking into the green eyes with a worried frown that her reaction and pull would only cause harm. Her mother seemed to find it endearing, sighing deeply as she went to the fridge to get some milk. “Your father and I were much like the two of you. Trying to push away from something with such a strong pull. The thing about pulls is that invevitably the parts bounce back to each other.... they always do,” she spoke in a light raspy tone in a voice that had lived long life and also enjoyed a fair few cigarettes. She was already down the hall when she got to her last sentence, returning to the living room. “I’m sorry, I... I tried to let go but...” she whispered a little shaken, not really having paid much attention to her mother when she was worried about his comfort.

She had feared the worst, scaring him or send him right into the same shakes she had felt that night when he kissed her. But when he wasnt shaking, she felt almost confused. She made her apology but he shot it down with words that warmed her heart by the way he spoke so tenderly. She felt his hand slowly wander up her arm, feeling her breath tremble a little, not in fear or sadness but because she was looking into those lovely green eyes that she hadnt been this close to for a long while - Too long. His cold hand touching her warm skin made her gasp faintly at the close contact but his coldness wasnt uncomfortable, she just wanted to give him her warmth so he didnt have to ever be cold again. His words took her by surprise, looking down for a moment as she thought about it, biting her lower lip. It felt like quite a big step and a part of her worried that this would be just like that night. But she wanted to be proven wrong, to be shown that there was nothing to fear, “You.... can kiss me,” she whispered, a little fearful but also tender and eager to try again.

She had given him permission but she wasnt sure what would happen now. His widened eyes made her eyebrows lower a little to a nervous expression but by the way he was slowly nearing in, she understood that he was trying. She thought that maybe that had been what she had been completely oblivious to before, that he was trying the best he could for her sake. She watched him look at her lips as his cold fingers spread to cup her face - Making her blush had been a brilliant idea if he had a devious plan to warm up his hands by holding her face. But it wasnt really the main focus in her mind as he leaned closer. Her breath slowed, her chest felt like it was closing in to only let her draw small hasty breaths before she held her breath when he leaned the rest of the way and their lips met. It felt like something imploded in her with emotions as her eyes started to water behind her eyelids, feeling his lips start to move around hers as she didnt feel him shake or be in any sort of distress. She was confused and surprised and yet so delighted and excited - It was like a pendulum shaking out a new emotion for every swing. She could feel the pressure inside from holding her breath but as he carefully leaned away, she didnt gasp loud or act rash in need of air. It was just like her body resumed to breathe as if it had just decided to have a small break. She looked into his closed eyes with her teary eyes, chuckling as he made his whisper. “I did,” she assured him, wrapping her arms carefully around him as she hid her face away into the nape of his neck. “I love you,” she faintly mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, biting her lip before she lifted her head a little more determined, “I love you,” she said more clearly as she looked at his eyes with her teary eyes. She made a small smile though with the tears it could seem like a sad smile but she was happy. “We could make a light dinner as we talk?” She suggested. They couldnt just keep pushing the talk that they needed to have, though she had no idea when or where to start.