Movie night! [cw]

Saoirse had slept like a child that night, nuzzled up closely to Amos. They hadn't done anything further than touches, but just laying close to him as she slept gave her a new meaning of feeling safe. It was the same when she fell asleep in Connor's arms, however this time it felt closer. Like nothing was holding them back anymore. She had decided to sleep in, but had gotten up as Amos had mumbled something about having to meet up with Tyler. Not that she minded, but she always hoped that he would stay longer. Instead she had jumped in the shower, taking her time and listening to music while she did so. Then she had to look at her homework.

As Connor came in, she heard the door, frozen in place she got up from her bed. All of her books were laid out, making it easier for her to do the assignment she had to do. She grabbed her big history book, clutching it in her hands before she silently walked out in to the hallway. Then she saw who it was, her eyes softening up, and she placed the book on a small table nearby. "Connor," she said breathlessly, mostly because she could feel the adrenaline pumping in her veins. She could've sworn that Amos had locked the door. Walking closer, she wrapped her arms around the seraph, hiding her face away in his chest as she took in his scent. It always sent chills down her spine when she was this close to him. "I've missed you," she mumbled, pulling her face away from his shirt to look up at him.

"I thought Amos had locked it," she said apologetic. She knew he always worried, and who wouldn't, with the parents she had. However standing in his arms, she felt like nothing could ever hurt her. Connor was always there for her, even though he was busy. She liked that he had ambitions, mostly because she felt like she lacked some, but that was neither here nor there. He chuckled at her words, and she couldn't help but smile as he said he had missed her too, shaking her head no when he started to apologize. "I know that you are busy for a reason, you study hard and I really admire that," she said softly. His hand moved some of her hair from her face and she turned her head to kiss his hand gently.
"I'm just about finished ... Just need to tidy up, I was just getting a head start on next weeks classes," she said, moving her hand over to take his. Entangling their fingers she sighed, feeling content with him being here. "Do you want your surprise now?" she asked sweetly, biting her lower lip as she looked up in to his brown and green eyes. His eyes looking like a vast forrest, one she would love to explore.

She may have wanted him not to apologize, but he was still going to just because he felt like him focusing so much on work made him miss out on the time he should have spent with her. He didnt mind her kissing him, since they had agreed that it was okay as long as it just stayed as light and sweet. He nodded at her answer with a smile, looking down at their hands before he looked back at her, "That's great, I'm proud of you," he said with a few nods. He narrowed his eyes a little when she mentioned a surprise, thinking about it for a second with a thoughtful expression - To then chuckle and nod a little excitedly, "Yeah, I'm ready," he said. He had thought about what it may be, but his mind couldnt seem to figure it out. "So what is it?" he asked as he did a little tipping from foot to foot to show how excited he felt.

She felt over the moon to hear him say that he was proud of her, mostly because she felt that after their call yesterday he might've been angry at her. Knowing that Connor and Amos clashed, it was hard for her to know exactly how she should handle everything. However as she mentioned a surprise, she could already see he was excited. She was too, mostly because she hadn't ever really given something to him. "It's in my room ... But don't get too excited, it's nothing big," she said in a sweet voice. She looked at him for a while, her eyes wandering to his lips for a second, feeling the need to lean in and kiss him like her and Amos had yesterday. However the fear of getting rejected was stronger, so she decided to pull him with her. Her bedroom was rather tidy, except for her school books on her bed that were laid out. Letting go of his hand she walked to her nightstand, opening her drawer and pulling out a small box.
"I had uncle Xander help me with it," she said, smiling at him before she handed him the small brown box. She felt nervous all of a sudden, scared that he wouldn't like it. Inside was a bracelet, handcrafted and braided by herself. "I know this is typically not just something you give to another person," she admitted, mostly because she knew the many seraphim legends from her aunt. Leona seemed to have wanting to tell her everything right as she could understand them. "I know that story ... About two seraphim who promise to stay together through the war - How the valkyrie cuts off her own hair and braids it in to a bracelet for the guardian to show her devotion," she said, feeling a little silly. Did Connor even care about those legends?Biting her lower lip for a while she looked down, feeling a bit embarrassed. "I know this one isn't made completely of my hair, but Xander helped me put some of my strands in to the leather and seal it ... Maybe it's silly," she said, mumbling the last bit as she felt like she might've done more than what she should've.

She told him not to be too excited, but how could he not? He wanted to feel excited and show it clearly as he noticed her look at his lips. Before he could say anything, she seemed to change her mind and pulled him towards her room. He looked at the books scattered on the floor, smiling a little to himself before he looked at her with the small box in her hand. He narrowed his eyes a little as he grabbed it and listened to her explain. He opened it and his eyes showed the clear surprise as he saw the bracelet inside. A sweet smile spread on his lips that he was quite unaware off as he inspected it. It definitely wasnt something that you gave anyone and Connor knew the story too well. But he didnt mind hearing Saoirse recite it, in fact it just made his smile grow bigger as he looked up at her. "I love it," he just said because that was the first that came to mind. He looked back at it and turned it around to look at it from all angles before he put it on, letting her tighten it for him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight as he chuckled a little to himself. "It's really well made," he said as he looked at the bracelet once more before looking at her. "Thank you," he said in a soft tone, placing a hand on her cheek. He would have kissed her but Connor wasnt the kind to have the courage to just kiss someone, he wasnt as confident as the daemon when it came to showing deeper affection than what you could show friends.

Saoirse felt her heart pumping fast, waiting for his response, and as he said he loved it she couldn't help but smile. She had been worried that he might've found it too stupid or something that he didn't like. She helped him tighten it a bit, but not too much as to restrict the blood circulation. As he wrapped his arms around her, she returned the gesture, holding him tight before she looked at him. His hand on her cheek made her smile, looking at him with hopeful eyes. However he didn't kiss her, and she felt like she had done something wrong. Feeling mesmerized just by looking at his lips she just had to take the jump. It was a leap of faith, hoping he would catch her beating heart as she leaned up to his face, standing on her toes as her hand moved up to his neck. "I'm sorry," she whispered, because she knew she was breaking their deal. This wasn't what friends did, she knew that, but she needed to feel his lips.
Kissing him made her sigh softly against his skin, her fingers pulling at his clothes as she hungered to feel more of this emotion. Her lips moved carefully against his, not wanting to just jump in to something he wouldn't like. She wanted him to be selfish for once, wanted him to just pull her close and do what he felt in his heart, but she also knew that it wasn't how Connor worked. Pulling out of the kiss she gasped softly for air, opening her eyes to look at him with pleading eyes. She didn't want him to be mad, in fact, she wanted him to pull her close and kiss her again.

She could see the conflict in his eyes, and she feared that he would pull away once more, leaving her standing with her heart bleeding for him. However his whisper made her smile, feeling like this was almost surreal she nodded yes. "You can kiss me any time you want," she whispered. As he leaned in, she wrapped both her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. She could feel how gentle he was, but she wanted more. Perhaps it was childish of her, but she couldn't stop herself, carefully deepening the kiss. Her heart was pounding like crazy, and while she knew he wanted to be careful around all of this with her mother, she just couldn't ignore what was in her heart. Saoirse had a need for him, a need that only he could fill and she knew that her mother would come around if she saw how happy he made her. "I love you," she mumbled, before kissing him again, this time pulling him with her to her bed. Laying down, she pulled him over her, continuing their kisses if he let her.

She couldn't help it, she just needed to have him close and feel that he wanted her as well. Laying on the bed she spread her legs slightly, letting him rest his knees between her legs. She kept returning the kisses that he placed on her. She could feel how he clenched at the sheets. "Touch me, Connor," she whispered in a pleading voice between her kisses. Her lower body pressing up against his as she just felt her stomach in knots. "Please," she added. She knew that he was worried still about her mother, perhaps that was what held him back from doing what he wanted. However her mother wasn't there, and she needed to have him closer."I promise you won't be the one to blame," she said in a more serious voice. She was the one that had started this, and she wouldn't let him think that he could be held accountable for this.

Saoirse felt herself taken aback as he asked what her and Amos had been doing, blushing as she looked down. She was fiddling with his shirt, wanting to feel his skin against hers. Was he going to get angry or disgusted if she told him? He told her that he wasn't rejecting her, but why did it feel that way? "Amos didn't force me to do anything, he let me take everything at my pace," she said, wanting to make that clear. She frowned a little, looking in to his eyes. "He didn't touch me where I didn't want him to, he let me explore and that was it," she said. Thinking of going in to detail might make Connor upset, but she sighed.
"He hasn't taken my virginity, if that's what you are worried about," she said, feeling silly to even say this out loud. She moved to sit up, resting her head against the headrest of her bed. "I touched him, and that was as far as it went, I promise you," she said, feeling like she was going to get scolded. She knew that it wasn't fair to say it like this, especially when she didn't want Connor to get hurt, but she had simply followed her gut feeling yesterday.

She knew where he was coming from, but couldn't he understand that all of this came from her loving him? That she wanted him closer than anyone? Breathing out as he said it wasn't about her virginity, she felt herself so frustrated. She had been told to be a good girl, to keep everything down and to not go further with the guys. But when she had finally been allowed to, it had felt so freeing. Like she had been meant to be that close to Amos, that his moans were meant for her. Connor wrapped his arms around her, and she buried her face in the nape of his neck. "I know you worry ... But if you keep treating me like a child and not a soon to be woman, then my heart might break," she whispered. Of course she didn't want to force anything on to the seraph, but it didn't change the fact that she felt the need to have him close. "I see the way double look at me, how your eyes wander down to my lips and how your hands want to feel me," she said looking in to his eyes

Saoirse looked at Connor, sighing as he mentioned the promise. However she hadn't promised that she wouldn't do this. They had been civil for so long, and all of her cravings she had pushed away. She couldn't hide them anymore, she couldn't pretend like they weren't there, because she could feel them grow for every day that passed. He spoke of her mother, and as he moved over to sit on the edge, she followed him, sitting next to him as he took her hand. She entangled their fingers, looking at how their hands just fit perfectly together.
"My mother would never shun you for making me happy ... I know you are worried, so am I, but I can't keep pushing away what I feel for you," she said softly, looking at his eyes as she tried to find the right words. "I know you say I'm not old enough to understand yet, but I am ... My father was right in the fact that I would learn fast, but I don't think you're ready to accept that," she said, swallowing as she looked down.
"You said that you were supposed to feel a certain way, but please tell me; When you look at me, do you feel what you are supposed to or do you feel a need to be close to me?" She asked. She needed to know. Had he internalized his fears, or was he truly ready for her to open her heart to him.

She felt herself getting more and more sad as he spoke, looking down, fiddling with her summer dress. It felt like he was scolding her again, felt like he didn't approve of what she had done. As he asked if what they had wasn't enough anymore she closed her eyes, holding back her tears as she took a few deep breaths. "I thought this would make you happy ... That we could just try adding to what I already enjoy that we do together," she whispered, scared to speak too loud to expose just how sad she would sound. She leaned her head against his shoulder, nuzzling her cheek against his shirt. "I thought that if I didn't ... That you might find someone else, that you would be bored and that you might not like hanging out with me anymore," she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him. Her eyes were fluid, but she didn't wish to cry.
She hadn't suggested anything wild, at least not in her head, she had simply wanted him to hold on to her, touch her wherever he wanted to. Saoirse looked at him. "Connor, I want more, it doesn't have to be everything at once, but please touch me; Be the first one to kiss me, hold me tighter when you feel that you need to," she said.

"You're not forcing me to do anything," she argued, looking at him with vulnerable eyes. Had she made him believe that she didn't want him like that? He said he didn't want to reject her, and she didn't wish for him to do that. "I'm taking the steps I know that I can handle, it's not like I don't know how to feel what everything makes me uncomfortable, " she added, kissing his shoulder softly. Her lips lingering against his shirt as she closed her eyes. She didn't need to rush, she knew that, but she finally knew how to soothe some of the aching she had been feeling for him. "I don't want either of us to be afraid of being close ... what I really want right now is you, and I can't just change that," she said. Her lips moved up and over his shoulder, until she reached his neck. A few peck were placed against his skin, and it made her shudder from delight.
"You just have this power over me ... Like I can't breathe without you touching me," she admitted. Maybe it was childish, but she didn't speak of him touching her as going further than him tugging at her. "We can stick to kisses and cuddles if that is what you want, but I want more and I'm sorry," she whispered, kissing his neck again. She couldn't help herself. It was just the feeling of his skin against her lips, how she knew it would normally make him smile and sigh with happiness.

She might not believe that he wasnt forcing her to do anything, but that could only be because of the self-restraint he showed. He looked down and shook his head when it seemed like she felt like she had it all under control. How could she be so sure that nothing bad would happen? He frowned a little to himself at the thought of doing something she wouldnt like. He would rather be safe than sorry. She kissed his shoulder and he turned his head to look at her, the corners of his mouth moved downwards just a little bit. "I'm not asking you to change..." he whispered with a sad expression. He moved his head to look ahead to let her access his neck, closing his eyes as he took in the smell pecks. He was just thinking it all through, but her pecking was definitely not being much of a help when it was more like a lure, trying to lure him in. He couldnt say no to her, not really. "You dont have to apologize," he said in a soft tone, clenching his jaw a little as she kissed his neck. Was she purposefully trying to drive him crazy? Because it was slowly working. He felt his lips quiver with words that wanted to leave his tongue. "What do you want?" he asked, clutching his hands to fists as he couldnt deny she was doing things to him.

She kept kissing his neck, holding herself close to him and as he said she didn't have to change or apologize, sighing against his neck. She wanted him. Wasn't that obvious? Wasn't it clear that all she wanted was to give herself fully to him, and let him take charge. His words made her feel sad. Didn't he enjoy this? "You know what I want ... But what do you want, Connor?" she whispered. She couldn't force him to do anything he didn't want to, and if he asked her to stop, she would. However for now she was focussed on his neck, making sure not one spot of his skin had been without her lips. Sighing against his neck she smiled, moving over to sit on his lap like she had the first time they had kissed. It felt so good to finally sit there again, however this time her mother wouldn't come through the door. This time she could relax more, knowing what was going on more clearly. Moving her head away from his neck to look at his face. She hoped he would look in to her eyes, see what it was she truly wanted, because it was written all over her face. She just wanted to be close to him, wanted him to say what he truly wanted to do to her if he had the opportunity. "We don't have to rush anything, just as you said, but I want you to know that I trust you," she said softly. There was no pressure, she just longed for him in a way she couldn't describe.

He frowned a little as she seemed to just sling his own question back at him. He bit his lower lip and looked down, though he kept his neck stretched for her to kiss as she liked. He didnt know what to answer, because there were many things he wanted, and they just sort of correlated with the things that he worried were to come hand in hand with the things he wanted. It was a mess and he couldnt see a way through it. Her sitting on his lap made him gasp under his breath as his body clearly reacted, his hands finding their way to her hips on their own. He looked up at her and into her eyes, his eyes filled with a hunger and a conflict at the same time. Her words kept luring him in and he wasnt sure how long he could tell his mind that it was better to not do anything. "I want your virginity," he whispered, frowning at his own words when he felt so selfish. But she had asked and he didnt want to lie to her. "But not just because I said that I want it," he added, looking up at her with serious eyes that bore a vulnerability.