A peek into the past [tw/cw]

He might've played some of the notes wrong, but it didn't matter to her, it had sounded fine and that was the important part for her. She grabbed the guitar when he practically handed it to her, and she felt a bit surprised to have him wrap his arms around her. Margot would've normally run, her body telling her to be alert because comfort and gentle touch wasn't what she was used to. However his mumble against her neck made her stay in place. He wasn't going to hurt her, instead he wanted to hear more of her singing. "Alright ... But it's not finished yet," she said, almost like a warning to the fact that the song would take a little more work for her to be satisfied.
She started out with a few notes, just repeating as she added a small melody. "I wanna pick you up and scoop you out, I want the secrets your secrets haven't found she sang sweetly, almost whispering just to him, closing her eyes as she continued. "Paint me in trust; I'll be your best friend. Call me the one; This night just can't end - Oh~," her head leaned back against his shoulder, her play on the guitar continuing.  "Will you share your soul with me? Unzip your skin and let me have a see - Paint me in trust; I'll be your best friend. Call me the one; This night just can't end - Oh~." It felt good. Just opening up this way. "Oh, I'm so human; We're just human," she sang softly, opening her eyes softly to look at him. His eyes were still closed, but she didn't want him to see how vulnerable she was right now.
She thought it was all she had for the song, but words sprung from her lips as she felt inspired by him. Her fingers continuing playing the melody, and now she felt like she was opening her heart to him. "Lean for me, and I'll fall back. You'll fit so nicely, you'll keep me intact," she sang, only to him, feeling like she was trusting him with her heart this moment. "Paint me in trust; I'll be your best friend. Call me the one; This night just can't end - Oh~," her fingers continuing to work the guitar. "I want to give you your grin, so tell me you can't bear a room that I'm not in," she sang, closing her eyes again as she seemed to finish out the song. "Paint me in trust; I'll be your best friend. Call me the one; This night just can't end - Oh~," - "Oh, I'm so human; We're just human~."

As the song ended, Margot felt like her eyes had gotten a little wet, but his way of hugging her closer made her feel secure. She had never let anyone be this close to her while singing, she hadn't even thought she would open up like that. The brief kiss on her temple made her sigh, his whisper of encouragement planting a small smile on her lips. She turned to look at him, seeing him reach forward, placing a hand against her cheek. The soft way he was caressing her, his thumb just stroking over her cheekbone was much more intimate than she had ever thought it would. She had expected a kiss, to feel his lips and forget all about how scared and lonely she had felt, but he didn't lean closer. Had he perhaps regretted what they had done?
No, she was being silly, he was just respecting her boundaries, but she could see in his eyes what he truly wanted. Removing one of her hands from the guitar, she reached up, placing one on his cheek, pulling him down to her lips. "Don't pretend with me," she mumbled in a hoarse voice, feeling a bit choked up on emotions before placing her lips against his. It was almost innocent, gently and trying, and definitely not one way of kissing she was used to. In many ways she had always felt kissing more intimate than sex, and right now she felt like she wanted to continue kissing him for however long she was allowed. The rain was still hitting the window, creating a cozy ambiance in the apartment. "Kiss me," she whispered against his lips. She felt like she had always been the one to instigate it, except for the kiss last night. She wanted to feel that rush in her stomach again, the excitement.

Never had being with someone made her feel like this. It was as they were two masses of space, gravity pulling them together even if they tried pushing each other away, it just made the pull harder. He kissed her, a surprised whimper escaping her nose as it felt like electricity running through her veins. To others this was a clear sign of belonging, but she had never felt like this before. However as he pulled away she felt almost too vulnerable to open her eyes. Keeping them shut she nodded at his words, letting go of the guitar, just letting it slide on to the ground. Her arms wrapped around his neck, kissing him once more, pressing herself closer. She felt so weak, and she hated that, but he didn't seem like he would take advantage of her weakness. Her heart was beating ever faster, her whole body yearning to finally feel this emotion she couldn't quite describe.

His touch alone could melt her walls, the way he just wanted to feel her and be close was so joyous. He separated their lips, and she kept her eyes closed for a while, catching her breath that seemed to have run off on her. Her heart beating out of her chest as if it was a wild bird in a cage, and she could feel his heart under her fingertips. He whispered her name and she carefully opened her eyes. Their foreheads still connected she couldn't recall a time ever feeling so nervous. His words made her hold her breath for a while, feeling lightheaded at how he seemed to enchant her with every single syllable. His eyes opened, his brown eyes warm and inviting, and as he spoke once more she felt more scared than before. Silence went between them for a while, breathing out in a sigh. "I'm ... I'm not really girlfriend material," she whispered, looking down as she felt like this was too far out of her comfort zone. Talking about emotions wasn't something she was raised with, and less something that she tried thinking too much about. Her palm rested on his chest, not sure if she should push him away. He had gotten too close to her, her heart was fragile and could she really trust it in the hands of a daemon? "Besides, we haven't known each other for long ... We barely know each other and ... Fuck Ace ... You don't want me with the baggage I carry," she said, mumbling the last part. This was for the best. Now she just needed to give him an extra push away, then she would be safe. However she couldn't say the words. It was as if she wanted him to not care about what she had just said, even if she felt nervous and a little scared. "Ace I like you, but ... But I would hurt you," she whispered, but as soon as she spoke them, she wanted to take them back.

Fuck, she felt like she was losing her mind. She wanted to be with him, she really did, but she couldn't be that selfish. She couldn't claim him when she knew she wouldn't be reliable. "Ace, I'm not shutting the thought out completely ... But I don't feel like I'm ready and honestly I've got nothing to offer," she said. That was a little harsh about herself, but she needed to put in the work if she wanted to be with him. "No labels ... Let us just get to know each other and ..." she said, looking at him as she thought her next words out carefully. "Ask me when I've had my first show," she pleaded. If he could agree to that, perhaps she could ready herself, become independent and make an eventual relationship more equal. She sighed, placing her head against his chest. She couldn't force herself to just accept that he was pouring his heart out, but she also didn't want to shoot him down. Margot wanted to be deserving of what he needed. "Give me a chance to prove myself before you make up your mind," she spoke softly.

Margot had stayed with Ace for a while now. Even after the rain had stopped, she had stayed. Her days were spent on looking for band members and every night she would spend on writing songs. Some times she wondered if she was driving Ace mad, because when she got an idea she would immediately run to the guitar and starting to write down notes and lyrics. There were even times when she woke up in the middle of the night to do it. But despite that, she also found the time to spend with Ace, getting to know him, and this evening they were having a few drinks on the couch, a series running on the tv, but they both seemed too engaged in their conversation. Margot snorted, giggling as she laid on the couch, her feet on his lap. "So you are telling me that he shat himself when you showed up at the meeting place, and he hadn't thought the voice would match the look?" she laughed.

Margot kept laughing, needing to place her drink down as to not just drop it on the carpet. She had gained a bit of weight, far from as optimal as she could be, but better gaining it back safely than risking complications. Ace had taken good care of her, and she was not blind to it, keeping a mental note about what she owed him. The list was long, but she knew she could handle it, at least at some point. "I don't blame him either, I would've done the same!" she giggled. He kept fidgeting with his hair, and she knew he was still getting used to it. Sitting up she grabbed his hand. "Stop, it looks great," she said, her voice softer than usual. Over the time she had spent there she couldn't deny that she was beginning to feel something stir inside of her. He just brought out a side of her she never knew she had. Realizing she still held his hand, she let go, instead reaching over for her drink, taking a big sip.
"We, uh, finally found a drummer," she said. They had needed a drummer for a while, but Margot was rather perfectionistic in regards to assembling her band. On one hand she wanted the right sound, be she also wanted the right vibe. "He seems like a great dude ... Tall and a little skinny, his hair longer than mine," she chuckled. She felt her breath shudder a little, her heart beating out of her chest. "And, uh, we've booked a show," she said, her voice excited, but she wondered how he was going to react.

Margot chuckled, nodding, but then came the talk of an actual job. "It's nothing huge, just a dive-bar in South, but the pay is decent, and we gotta start somewhere," she said. In that regard Margot was very much a realist, not daring to dream too big. At least not unless Ace was in her corner cheering her on. She held her drink with both her hands, looking in to the liquid as he asked if she was excited. "I feel like I'm going to puke, and then I feel relief, like I'm finally being heard," she said. It was quite the strange feeling, a feeling of luck and fortune finally being on her side. Taking another sip of her drink she fell silent for a while. Did he still remember the promise she had made? That she would make up her mind once she had had her first show? Of course he did, she knew he did, but she felt like getting cold feet, because in her mind she didn't know how to do this with Ace.
It had been a while since they had kissed. Sometimes she caught herself holding his hand when she wasn't supposed to, or snuggling up to him when she knew that it wasn't what friends did. However she couldn't deny that he moved her heart and soul, he inspired her so much, and without even knowing it. "I was wondering if ... If you'd come to the show and we could, I don't know, go on a date afterwards?" she said, feeling unsure about her word choice. Was it stupid? She felt a little stupid putting it like this, especially because it was painfully obvious how infatuated they both were with each other.

She knew he was right. She should be proud, she should be yelling out to each and everyone she met how proud she was, but part of her knew that it just couldn't rise to her head like that. When he said he couldn't turn her down in regards to a date, she found herself smiling, looking in to her drink before taking a sip. However his next words made her frown a little. She thought that they had moved past her owing things, mostly because she only kept mental notes. Leaning over to place the drink on the table she sat up, reaching out to take his hand once more, this time just holding it as she looked at it. "I'm asking you because I want to try ... Fuck, Ace, I'm terrified, I've never been on a date before, let alone felt this way you make me feel," she said softly. She moved his hand to her chest, making him feel how hard it was pounding just by being near him. Could he feel what she was trying to say without words? That she actually cared for him, but she was afraid that her lack of words would hurt him. She cared about him too much to let him go. "I can't promise I won't break your heart, I can't promise I won't be a bitch and do inexplainable things ... But I want to try this - whatever it is," she explained, her eyes rather vulnerable. She had missed his touch, her body reacting so strongly and it was still ever as scary as the first time. "It's a week from now, and I just need to prepare myself I guess," she said. Margot had always been rather honest when she needed time and space to try something new. Part of her wanted to lean in, kiss him and tell him how much she was looking forward to the date, but another part of her felt like it was dangerous ground to step on. He had been close to having her once, she didn't know if she could hold back if she kissed him now.

Him admitting he found it scary as well made her look down. Maybe it just wouldn't work. Maybe they were just too different, even though she found that he balanced her out. He believed in her and she trusted him. He entangled their fingers, making her sigh, because she had missed that feeling. Just something as simple as feeling his fingers intertwined with her own was enough to make her feel more at ease. He was assuring her that it was alright, that they didn't have to rush and take things as they came. Nodding she moved closer to him, laying her head against his chest, holding their intertwined hands close to her heart. "I guess I miss you in a way ... I mean, I know you're right here, but ..." she said, not sure how to explain it. She missed feeling his hands on her body, missed feeling how he would embrace her and not hold back. Closing her eyes she turned her head, kissing his chest sweetly, inhaling his scent before breathing out in a sigh. "My bed still feels lonely at night," she admitted. She had gotten a place in what she presumed was his office before, but now it was where she stored her music and had a bed of her own. "I just don't want to complicate everything," she breathed out, looking up at him with a half smile on her lips.

//On to new adventures -- Out//