Wouldnt know before it hits you

"Yeah, you're right," she giggled, feeling her fingers tingle slightly, but she wasn't scared of what the pills might be doing. "I guess I had just hoped that Deacon could make me feel right again," she admitted, but there wasn't anything sad about her expression. Humming she laid her head on the bar desk, smiling to herself as the pills were definitely kicking in. Looking at Mickey she chuckled, reaching out to grab her friends hand, but she lost her balance on the chair, falling down from it. As she landed on the floor she burst out in to laughter, her arm having been scraped a bit on the rough floor, but nothing major to worry about.
"Give me a hand, will ya?" she chuckled, and with Mickey's help she was back on her feet, although a little unsure. Her blinking was a little out of the ordinary as well, but it was all fine for now. "I think I needa piss," she said. Frankie had never been one of those girls that wanted a whole posse of women following her to the bathroom, so she simply went on her own. She felt so warm, like she could go out in the cold with no clothes on and not freeze at all.

Getting up from the floor was almost like all of her blood rushing from her head to her body, but luckily she didn't pass out. Instead she headed towards the bathroom, and as always the line was too long. She groaned, looking over at the men's bathroom. No line at all! Fuck this, she thought walking over to the men's room and slid in. People didn't seem to care anyways.
She found a stall, locking it after herself before sitting down to do her business. Outside she could hear the guys talking about some of the women at the bar they were trying to pick up. It was disgusting just to hear about it. She looked down, taking out her phone as she seemed to hesitate, but that hesitation was far gone. She found Deacon in her contacts, and got to writing.

[Messages between Deacon and Frankie]
[Frankie (0:33):] I don't even care if you read this, alright, I just gotta write it out before I go crazy. You are such an entitled brat. You think you can just crack a few jokes, get under my skin and then have the fucking audacity to judge me for what I do. I BUILT MYSELF UP FROM THE GROUND. I didn't have a stupid rich family, I didn't get to be an *almost princess*, but I sure as hell am independent. I make my own money, and so what if you think that makes me a slut or a whore, I at least don't have to rely on my parents for rent money. I've met a lot of rich dudes in my day, but I thought you were different. And now that I see that you aren't, it fucking hurts, alright.

She just pressed send, didn't even think twice about it, finishing up herself on the toilet before going out to wash her hands. Some of the guys were staring at her, but she simply ignored them. "Hey, you that girl who's here with her girlfriend, right?" one of the braver ones came forward. Frankie just nodded, not really caring what they thought of her and her friend. "Have you ever considered adding a guy to that mix?" he asked, a confident smirk on his lips. Frankie turned to look at him, her face stern. "You know, if I was really so desperate for sausage I would go get it, and I sure as hell are not taking up an offer given in a dirty and smelly bathroom," she said, folding her arms in front of her chest. "Fucking bitch, it was a compliment," the guy protested, but that seemed to make her livid, lunging herself at the guy as a fight broke out.

OKay, maybe resorting to anger and violence wasn't the best option, but she was just so sick and tired of being objectified wherever she went. And then when she didn't put out or react accordingly to other's wishes, she was deemed crazy. The guy had swung at her rather fast, colliding with her face and given her a torn eyebrow that was now leaving blood all over the place. Mickey came to her rescue, and Frankie wasted no time in helping taking the guy down, tackling him to the floor as the hybrid started stomping on him. She didn't stay put for long as one of the guy's friends ripped her off the floor, tossing her out the bathroom and in to the pub, hitting a bunch of chair with people sitting in them.
Groaning she felt that her ribs might've been bent, but she didn't give a fuck anymore. The drugs made her feel numb, like she could take on the world, and that was what she was doing right now. The guy followed her, grabbing her by her shirt and ultimately ripping one of the straps. Oh, he shouldn't have done that. "I really fucking liked this shirt, asshole!" she screamed, seeing red as she now got in to a fight with the friend of the guy currently grunting on the bathroom floor where the fight had started.

Frankie was almost unwilling to let the fight go, but she knew they had to. Getting out of the pub, they headed down the streets, hearing some sirens blast by, but she tried not to think too hard about it. "I hate all men," she muttered angrily, pulling out on her strap that was broken, sighing as she really did like this shirt. She could feel some blood trickling down the side of her face from her eyebrow, and her knuckles were pretty busted as well. "Why do they just think they own us?" she asked, knowing the answer wasn't easy.
Pulling her jacket closer she started shivering, the drugs were still in her system, but she felt like she was freezing to the bone. "I need some coffee," she said, looking at Mickey to see if she wanted some as well. Instead of heading home, they went to their local diner, walking in and sitting down. The waitress quickly came over to them and Frankie ordered a black coffee for the both of them. "I can't even have a normal night out," a sigh of defeat leaving her lips as she rested her chin on her hands, looking out the window.

"I don't know," she said, playing around with the salt and pepper shakers on the table. "I don't think I felt anything," which was rather unlike her. She always felt her emotions as raging storms, but in that moment she had just felt empty. There wasn't any rhyme or reason as to why she felt this way, but it was almost just like being numb. Their coffees came and she grabbed it, signaling for Mickey to add some spice from her signature hipflask. The scent of that thing was putrid, but at least it gave a nice burn.
Blowing on her coffee, she looked out the window before her eyes focused on her reflection in the glass. Her lipstick was smeared, her eyebrow ripped and she looked a little crazy. But it also didn't matter. Nothing mattered and it made her so angry and sad, because this mindset she had felt before. "I look like shit," she mumbled before taking a sip of her coffee, coughing a bit because whatever was in that hipflask was stronger than she anticipated. "Are you poisoning me?" she asked, chuckling a bit before shaking her head. She didn't feel like herself anymore.

"Well maybe your immune system has become adjusted to this then," she said with a half smirk on her face. Frankie didn't like the smell of the hipflask, but at least the coffee notes overpowered the taste of the strange mixture. Taking a sip more she turned her head to look at the hybrid, a raised eyebrow as she could see her regret her words. "What?" she asked, mostly because the hesitation or rather distaste for what the hybrid herself was about to disclose was making her a little anxious. What could possibly make her feel anything at this point? It felt like the alcohol and the drugs only seemed to give her more numbness.

Mickey said it so simply, and it was as if the fires in the fenix' eyes became stronger. She nodded, thanking her friend, leaning down to kiss her cheek and placed a few bucks on the table to pay for her coffee. She headed out, already knowing where he would be at this time. It was cold, shivering as she moved through the streets, but the fire inside of her was so strong that it drove her forward.
She soon enough found herself in front of his apartment building, ringing on his door phone a couple of times. She would keep buzzing on it until she was let in, hurrying up the stairs until she stood in front of his front door. For a second she hesitated, knocking on his door as she waited for him to answer it. He had to have let her in, right?

After Frankie had left him at the doorstep, he had taken a walk around while he thought it all through, eventually ending up back home. He had his smoke in his mouth, focused as he seemed to be working on some sort of drawing, it seemed to be the only thing that could really put his mind at ease. That and the plants he had spread around the apartment. The buzzer rang and he packed the drawing away before he got up.
Walking over he just pressed down the unlock button till he heard the door open, then waiting till he heard the footsteps approach. He wasnt really sure who to expect, but it definitely hadnt been Frankie. So when he opened the door and saw her, he looked surprised for a second but then he just seemed a little downcast. "What happened to your face?" he asked, looking at her lip before he looked at her brow. Opening the door fully, he let her come in if she wanted.

The fenix wasted no time heading up the stairs, and as he opened the door it was clear he hadn't expected her. A light bruise was forming on her cheekbone on the same side as where her brow was ripped, she knew she would heal rather quickly, but she didn't really consider how she looked. It was as if all of that numbness disappeared as she looked at him, and she felt at a loss for words. Then he asked why she looked like that, and she just went in to his apartment in silence.
"You ... Guys ... People like you are the worst, do you know that?" she started out as she paced around his houseplants, not even taking her shoes off as she didn't even dare think about the blisters she had. "You think you can just come in to my life and make me fall for you and then you treat me like I'm not even a real person!" she yelled, but it was clear she wasn't only talking about him. She was also talking about those that came before him. "Honestly, I would've preferred if you had said you hated me or that you maybe started dating some bimbo that would make me jealous ... But you had to do something worse than any crime; You didn't keep your promise."
She felt her eyes water, but she couldn't stop pacing. "You think you have the right to know everything about me, when I clearly don't want you to right now ... You think you can just walk all over me when I'm down!"

The silence was probably expected, because it had seemed in the moment he had seen her heading out with Mickey, they had set for a good time. Clearly it hadnt played out like that. Closing the door behind her he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he watched her pace around. Her not taking off her shoes didnt really bother him, but he wondered if she was going to head out after whatever she had set out to do.
Her initial words made him frown a little, but it probably had to do with what she had said when he went to see her earlier. But as she went off to yell at him, he just looked at her a little confused, because he wasnt sure what she was saying? Had he been treating her like she wasnt a person? He spaced out a little while he thought about it but he was still listening to her words. He looked down and shrugged. "In all honesty...." he said but he wasnt even sure where to begin, turning his eyes to the ground as he thought of what to say. He frowned a little angry because it wasnt really all that fair that she just barged in and started saying all kinds of things. "Yeah no, you're right," he said after a small pause, looking up at her with hurting eyes. "I broke my promise," he just said, taking his cigarette out of his mouth to extinguish it in the ashtray on the sofa table. "Is there more you wanna say about just how awful I've been to you?" he asked a little detached, mostly because he was so wound up about the situation, trying his best not to seem like whatever she would say would hurt him.

"Yes, there's so much more," she said, shaking her head as she felt the tears press on. Why was she such a cry baby today? She was still shaking from the cold, even sniffling a little and she was afraid she was actually going to be sick, but for now she wanted to say her peace. "Why? Why did you make me fall for you?" she asked, her voice breaking, turning her back to him as she felt her tears finally escaping her, running down her cheeks. She tried containing herself, but it was as if she had just opened the floodgates. "Why do you always know when I'm cold? Why do you feel so right when I know it's going to end badly?" she sobbed.

As she said there was more, he tried to prepare himself mentally for whatever that then would be. If anything, she might tell him more about how horrible men were, just like Mickey had and then how he apparently was a part of that whole gist too. But then she asked why he had made her fall for him and he looked away with a dreadful expression, only to look back at her as she turned away. Seeing her cry made his eyes feel a little wetter but he could control it for now. "I'm sorry," he just mumbled, but that wouldnt change anything. Stepping closer to her he just wrapped his arms around her from behind and held her close. Sighing he felt at such a loss for words. Maybe he was the idiot, because he had made her fall for him with no idea how to proceed from there. Wanting to be with her but not knowing how to. Hell, Mickey was right she deserved better than him, that was clear to him now. "I'm so sorry for doing this to you," he whispered hopelessly, kissing her forehead carefully, just because he cared so much for her.

He apologized, but was she wrong for not believing that he was? He wrapped his arms around her, and she just sobbed as she stood in his arms. Her heart had been broken so long ago, and yet it still hadn't healed. Then she felt his lips against her forehead, and her body seemed to relax for a second. Moving up on her toes, she kissed his lips, pressing herself close to him just for a while before she seemed to snap back to reality. Taking a few steps away from him she shook her head. "I-I can't," she just said, hurrying out the door and leaving him in the apartment if he didn't follow. She just needed to get away, she needed to rebuild her walls to protect herself.

Feeling her relax was also loosening on the restlessness that he was feeling. Because he at least knew that he was doing something right then. Looking down he barely noticed till their lips connected and he felt his breath halter as his heart just seemed to start thumping in his chest. She pulled away and he didnt blame her but again he just didnt know what to say. Blinking a few times he looked on as she left, wanting to run after her, but then what would happen? Even if he liked her the way she did, he knew what would happen if he ran after her. And that scared him, more than all this uncertainty. "You're still such a fucking chicken, Grant," he mumbled angrily to himself, ruffling up his hair before he threw himself back on the sofa. He hit his injured arm and grit his teeth in pain, clenching the fist on his healthy hand.

Watching an injured girl fleeing the street was bound to draw eyes. And it did draw someone's eyes, who quickly ran after her, catching up as he looked at her with a worried expression, "Hey, slow down, you're safe," he said, stopping her by moving in front of her if she wouldnt. "Has someone hurt you?" he asked, looking around to see if anyone was going to come after them, switching between that and looking at her.

How come she was always so eager to fuck herself over again and again? She liked Deacon, but in her mind she had convinced herself that he would never accept her and that in the end she would be bad for him. Fleeing was just the safest option.
Getting out on the streets she was just crying, almost running down the streets just to get away. She didn't care where she ended up, she just needed to get away, however soon enough she heard a voice. She wouldn't stop for anything, so it wasn't before he stepped in front of her that she had to stop as to not bump in to him. "I'm fine," she lied, the tears all over her face and her makeup officially ruined. "Can't you just leave me alone?" she pleaded, so tired of being hurt all the time.

"Listen you've got dried blood and... well cuts and spots all over your face... And you're crying. Doesnt really seem fine to me," he said, frowning a little at her as it obviously didnt make sense. He sighed and grabbed a small towel from his pocket, usually reserved for his knife but she seemed like she could use it more. "Let me just..." he said as he carefully reached out and dried her cheeks. "There we go," he said with a warm smile over his lips as he at least had removed the dark tear trails from her makeup that had been running.

Looking at the stranger in front of her she bit the inside of her cheek, staring at the guy. What was his deal? As he reached forward, she shied away before she seemed to stand still, letting him dry away her tears. He was a weirdo, wasn't he? Like who just carried a small towel? Narrowing her eyes she looked him up and down. "Did Gareth send you?" she asked point blank. He looked sketchy and the way he seemed to care, she didn't quite buy.
She took a step backwards and away from him, clearly still not really trusting him, "I got in a bar fight," she said, because it was true, but it had been a long night at this point. "Who the fuck are you?

Her question about some Gareth clearly didnt seem to fall in with him. He had no idea who Gareth was, raising his eyebrows for a moment before he shook his head. "Did Gareth hurt you?" he asked, because now it just sounded like some angry boyfriend. As she said bar fight he nodded a few times but still had that worried frown over his brows. It was fair enough that she got a little hostile with her words. "Uhhh. My name's Xalvador, I was actually just heading home, but then I saw you and seeing you all bloody and in tears..." he looking back and then at her again. He made a slight shrug as he started explaining. "I had to make sure you werent being chased by someone. Is that weird to you?" he asked. And also what would Gerard just say if he said he had just let a girl in her state be left alone?

Did Gareth hurt her? She almost had to laugh out loud because that sentence alone was so bizarre. What was she supposed to say? Yeah, he broke my heart years ago and I'm still putting back the pieces? It didn't really have a ring to it. She decided to ignore it, because that was easier than unfolding her dirty laundry.
Xalvador? That sounded like a name from an old telanovella, but she kept that comment to herself as well. She wasn't in the mood for banter. He tried to explain himself, but she narrowed her eyes as he asked if it was weird. "You saw me as someone who wasn't capable of standing up for myself? You saw my blood and tears and expected to come running in like some fucking superhero about to save the day?" she asked, scoffing as she wrapped her arms around herself. Why did she hate the fact that she didn't see Deacon yet bother her so much? She wanted that stupid mythical to follow her and maybe - metaphorically speaking - knock some sense in to her head.
"I don't need someone to protect me, got it?" she said, perhaps more angry than she should've.