Childhood sweethearts

He did notice the way her face had lit up but then changed as he had sat down. Did he do something wrong, was there something he had forgotten to do? Frowning a little he watched her get up, blinking a few times as she mentioned the bar. But he didnt even like going out to clubs? He had only come here because she had invited him and he wanted to see her. Shaking his head he followed her and reached out, grabbing her shoulder with a soft grip. "Eliza?" he asked, trying to figure out what it was that was happening right now.

"No, Xal, please," she said, shrugging off his hand. She shook her head, not even daring to look at him cause that would mean she would just break down crying. He had been her beacon of hope. He had been the one she thought of when the thoughts got to her, when her loneliness was the worst. "I don't need to be anyone's last option." She had heard from Tessa that some girl was living at Xalvador and Gerard's place now. Maybe part of her had hoped, that somehow she still had a chance. But she wasn't going to stick around and be reminded of her shortcomings.
All she had wanted to the whole night was see him. Just see his goofy smile and feel his arms around her even if it was just a friendly hug. She wanted to run far away, make that gut wrenching feeling of loneliness disappear if only for a little while. Alcohol had only seemed to induce that fear she had, and she wasn't feeling up for anything. "I only wanted to see you ... I just ... Everything is so wrong," she said, hiccupping through her sentences as she tried not to cry.

She shrugged off his hand but that didnt really stop him. Because it was so obvious that something was wrong. Just the fact that she wouldnt look at him made him feel like he had definitely screwed up in some way. Only that she said that she didnt want to be a last option? He looked confused, shaking his head like he couldnt follow. "Last option? Eliza what are you talking about?" he asked. Was it really weird that he was this clueless? Probably. He could hear Gerard sigh and roll his eyes in disapproval.
But he wasnt going to give up and let her go. Not until he at least was sure what it was that he had done wrong. "Has something happened? What's happening right now?" he just pleaded, following her out if she was still headed there.

He was following her and she was shaking trying not to cry. But then he asked what had happened and she just shook her head. "I have been gone for months," she said, stopping as she put her hand on the handle to the doorway leading downstairs. "I've missed you every single day, written to you with little to no reply, and I feel stupid now cause you didn't even hug me," she was losing it now, a few tears running down her cheeks that she hurried to wipe away. "I heard from Gerard that you have a girl around ... Just don't make her wait like I did," she said before she started heading down the stairs. She felt like the further she got down them, the more narrow they got before she finally tripped over herself, falling down the last few steps. Luckily her reflexes weren't gone, taking most of the impact with her hands, but her knees were now scraped and a bit bloody. Mumbling to herself she just felt her tears clouding her vision, sitting on the floor and feeling so helpless.

She was right she had been gone for months. But Xalvador had really just thought that it had been for the best, that she was out there meeting people and living her life. But as she said that he hadnt even hugged her, he realized and started feeling bad because how could he not have thought of that? But then she spoke of Frankie and she couldnt be more wrong about what was going on there. Only that before he could explain, she was falling down the stairs. He would have tried to prevent it, but it was a narrow staircase and soon she landed. He just hurried down the steps to check on her, looking at her hands and then knees. "I'm sorry I didnt hug you. But the girl who's staying over just needed a place to be because her boyfriend was annoying, or something like that, I dunno," he just explained as he looked at her, picking her up even if she didnt want him to. He couldnt leave her be, neither did he want to.

She felt his arms around her as he lifted her up, and he could surely feel how she was shaking from emotions. He apologized and explained but it felt like she was never going to feel happy again. "I just want to go home," she pleaded. She couldn't be out here anymore, she couldn't handle all of this loneliness when other people were around. The first thing on her mind was locking herself in her room, hiding away under her covers and try and forget everything. But here in his arms it was just too easy to relax. "Can you take me home, please," she whispered. She could feel people staring at her, seeing her scraped knees and her puffy face.
She lived in an apartment back in Central, so it wasn't a far walk nor ride if that was easier for him. She was perhaps a little too drunk to walk by herself.

"Dont worry, I'll take you home," he assured her, holding her close as he made his way outside. He considered the bike but it would probably be unpleasant for her. He could just come by whenever she was fine and pick it up again. Walking to her home he was looking for words to say. "The girl that's living in the apartment actually needed to be dropped off here earlier. I dont know if you saw her inside with all the people, but I wouldnt be surprised if you did. She stands out from the crowd with her... well, lack of hair," he just said, just to say something, anything. Maybe talking about the girl was a bad topic but he really wanted to show that there was nothing there.

It felt a little weird to be carried. Mostly because she hadn't been this close to Xalvador in what seemed forever. She just rested her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he walked. The feeling of being selfish came over her, but thankfully he decided to speak. Only the topic wasn't really what she had hoped for. "I met her ... She's one of Deacon's friends ... Danced a lot with my brother," she said, not really sure why she was even talking about that girl. Sure, she was probably nice and all, but she had seemed a little messy.
She was mostly silent after that, just listening to him if he had something more to say, but otherwise she was just quiet. That was until they reached her street and she felt scared that he was just going to drop her off and that was that. "Why didn't you answer my calls?" she had tried calling home whenever she could and when the time zone wasn't ruining it for either of them. She knew he was busy, he always was with his work, but she hadn't heard his voice in forever. Or at least it seemed like it. She had missed him, even his scent as she just sat in his arms.

He didnt really know who Deacon was, but he nodded as she seemed to know who it was. As he walked the rest of the way, he was mostly just talking about how life had been and something about Tessa and Gerard. He sighed at her question and frowned a little. "Okay, I'm going to be honest with you now," he warned her before he took a moment to think his words through. He really didnt want to hurt her. ".. Every time we spoke, I'd feel so sad afterwards. I know that you liked talking, but for me it's just different talking over a phone than being face to face like now," he explained, reaching the door to the apartments. "Do you have a key?"

His honesty was all she had ever asked for, but his reply did make sense. Finding her key in her bag she gestured for him to put her down. Maybe she could at least make it to her floor in one go. "Is it because I make you sad?" she asked as she unlocked the entrance to her apartment building. Standing in the doorway she finally looked up at him, meeting his eyes and she just felt her tears press on. Why didn't she just ask him to stay? Perhaps because she worried that he was done with her. And despite everything, she just didn't want to say goodbye.
"I know I've asked for an awful lot already ... But do you think you could help me up the stairs?" she didn't have the best track record with stairs today.

"No nooooo, you dont, not like that" he said like it was quite obvious that she didnt but he wanted to assure her either way. He actually didnt find her annoying at all. "It's because I'm really bad at missing people. I've always been. I couldnt even have Gerard leave me when they were sending him out to be on his own," he then said, looking at her as she looked at him. He swallowed hard and shifted between her eyes, seeing the way her eyes were tearing up made him hurt too.
He nodded at her question and lifted his arm out so she could take it, supporting her the best he could without carrying her again. Getting her to the door, he wasnt sure what he even wanted. To leave? To stay?

Was he saying that he had missed her too? She hoped that was what he meant, but she wasn't really sure. He agreed to help her up the stairs and as they reached the door she unlocked it. Hesitating to walk in she just looked up at him. It was tempting to ask him for a kiss, but that wasn't how she could solve her loneliness. Adjusting her shoulders she blinked a few times before looking down. "Would you -" she said, clearly unsure about where they stood in all of this, "like to come in?" After everything with Eden she had practically been living with him, even sleeping in the same bed as him and he had held her close when she needed it the most. But that he had done on his own accord, and she couldn't force him to just embrace her. She felt like she couldn't stand being in her own body much longer, and she wished she had the guts to beg him to stay. Plead with him not to leave because she was afraid what would happen when her thoughts would overwhelm her. "I have a small gift for you ... Uhm ... If you want it of course."

She hummed in agreeance as they entered her apartment. It was pretty neat and organized, but then again she hadn't been home long enough for it to be messy just yet. She struggled a bit to get out of her shoes, but she did manage, sighing as her feel finally touched the ground. Walking in to her apartment, her luggage was still standing in her living room. She just hadn't found the time to put everything away, but she did have a small bag standing on her dinner table. Stumbling a bit she leaned over the table to grab a box inside of it. Without saying much she just handed it to him, feeling nervous because it didn't feel like enough.
Inside it was a beautiful knife, carefully wrapped. The knife handle was beautifully decorated with what looked like antlers from a deer and a red leather casing for the knife to go in to. "Don't worry, it's perfectly legal," she said, not that he probably worried about that, but she just had seen it and thought of him. "I wanted to engrave it, but I didn't know what you wanted it to say, so just let me know and I'll pay for it."
With that she went in to her bathroom, wanting to clean up her knees and hands.

Bringing that knife home had been a whole debacle with Thomaz who didn't want her close to knifes of any kind. However she had bought it anyways, knowing that any other stupid souvenir wouldn't mean anything.
As she was cleaning her knees she was shaking a little, maybe it was just because her adrenaline was still rather high in her body, but she could still feel the sting. Opening up her cabinet she found something to clean the scrapings with, sitting down on the side of her tub. Wincing and whining a bit she managed to clean it, placing a few bandaids over the worst parts. Her hands were pretty much unscathed, so she just ended up cleaning them before joining Xalvador once again.
It was a weird feeling, seeing him right here as if she hadn't left. "When did you start growing out you hair?" she asked. She liked the look on him, wanting to reach out and touch it, but she folded her fingers in front of her body to keep herself from doing that. "And I see you have a few new scars too."

What he said made sense, but as he started to ask if she liked it she could feel a slight blush in her cheeks. "I do like it ... but I like the beard the most," she had to confess. Gods, she really wanted to reach out and touch him. She came a little closer, looking at him with soft eyes, yet the sadness still lingered. "I feel like you look so different and yet you look more you than ever," she said. It was a compliment, cause she clearly liked all of him. But seeing the real him shine through was definitely nice. "I've really missed you," she said, feeling herself tear up again, because she was aching for him to just touch her. Even if it was brief, she just felt the need for his touch. "Can you please hug me now?" She asked, mostly because she didn't want to overstep any boundary.

He chuckled as she mentioned the beard, nodding a few times. "I had to have Gerard teach me the ropes on how to trim it properly," he said even though it probably made him sound very silly. It was just typical Xalvador, wasnt it? The compliment made him frown a little because he wasnt really sure what it meant, but hey, a compliment was a compliment? And she had gotten a little closer on top of that, so that was a little distracting too. She hadnt even had to say that she had missed him because he had missed her too and so much more, than he would even like to admit.
Without answering her question he just wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He leaned his head on top of hers, closing his eyes as he made a deep sigh. "I'm glad you're back," he said.

He pulled her in and she finally felt like her heart was beating correctly. Her arms wrapped around his back, feeling just how bulky he was, but also so warm and nice. He smelled the same too, closing her eyes to just inhale his scent. She was happy to be back too, but she just feared that her heart would start to ache more. Giving him a squeeze she felt her tears press on, just holding herself close to him and not wanting to let go. She felt so powerless and so alone, and he was the only one who seemed to make it all tolerable.
"Stay the night," she mumbled against his shirt, trying not to cry or sound desperate. It was going to be her actual first night alone in the apartment since everything with Eden had happened. She had hoped to just get drunk enough to not care, but she only felt more scared to be left alone. "I can't bear to be alone right now."

He had always been a bit of a bear hugger and he only also preferred it that way. Making her feel his warm embrace the best way he could. Hugging was Xalvador's way of intimacy because it wasnt just anyone he kept so close to his heart. It had been Gerard most of the time while growing up and also a few times now that they were older, but anyone else got a simple and fast hug. Her mumble seemed a little dangerous but he didnt care, because he knew saying no would just hurt her. "Okay, I'll stay," he promised with a small nod. He opened his eyes and looked down at her. "I'll keep you safe," he promised her.

The fact that he would actually stay mader her whimper softly, but she hoped it was mostly inaudible as her face was pressed against his chest. She felt him turn his head to look at her, and as she looked up she couldn't hide how happy she was for his next words. Sure, he maybe wasn't interested as she was in him, but he wasn't going to leave her just be. It even made a small smile appear.
One of her hands let go of his back moving up between them and touching his chin lightly. She didn't want to overstep, but she couldn't help herself. Not when he was this close. "Yeah, keep the beard," she said in a soft mumble. She wanted to kiss him, wanted to just be selfish and take, but it wasn't in her natural instinct. And yet her hand kept moving up, touching his cheek with a few fingers before reaching his long locks of hair. It was a little messy, but she liked the feel of it. Was it strange that she knew where his big scar was? She just tried not thinking of it. "Thank you ... for always being there when I need a good saving," she said, her lips separated as she found it a little hard to breathe. She should move away, she shouldn't be wondering about his lips. And yet she was frozen in time.

He felt her hand on his chin and didnt really mind, didnt even seem to flinch. It wasnt a feeling he was used to but it also felt rather welcomed. "Really?" he asked in a lowered tone, smiling a little. He kept his arms around her but loosened the bear hug a little, to just hold his hands on her lower back while still keeping her in his embrace. It did feel a little weird for him, but he told himself to just suck it up. Maybe it was because he hadnt really had someone like that before. She thanked him and he scoffed as he shook his head. "It's fine, dont thank me," he brushed it off because he wasnt really feeling like he was doing something extraordinary.

It was always so complex and yet so easy with Xalvador. She didn't have to strain herself to love him, he just was a lovable guy. As he loosened his grip she was afraid he was going to let go, but was pleasantly surprised to feel his hands on her lower back. He had gotten stronger, she could feel it, his arms bigger than when she had left. Feeling like her breath was staggering a bit, she just looked up at him, trying not to stare at his lips, but she did steal glances. "Really, " she just said, feeling a little giddy and giggly. Her arms were wrapped around his shoulders, or well one of them were, the other was reaching up and still touching his hair. "I've missed you so much," she finally said, feeling a bit sad again. Sure, travelling was fun, but her mind felt like it hadn't left Churchill. "I don't want this hug to end," she whispered. She felt like she was still feeling a little tipsy, perhaps she had drunken more than she should've.