Healing isn't always easy | Eden

He felt so dirty. Felt so disgusted with himself and what was going on. This was his own fault, right? This was because of his cursed ability. One that he hated more than anything in this world. He just closed his eyes, trying to think of something else than what was going on. Maybe he could leave his body for a little while? He had done that before back in the day. However as the grip was released he gasped for air, collapsing on the ground but keeping his eyes closed. If the daemon was preparing to mount him then he didn't want to look. So rightfully so as his face was touch he was startled, opening his eyes only to cry in relief to see that it was Eden. He was shaking, his whole body so tense that he felt like he could barely walk. He didn't even want to look to the daemon on the ground, not wishing to remember anything about him. The promise was fine, but he couldn't say anything, his body still frozen with fear. It would take the vampyre carrying him out and away back home before he even started to return from the shock he was in.
"Sh..sho..we..er.." His poor vocal chords struggling to heal with the lack of sustenance as well as how he had been roughly forced around. Out in the bathroom he staggered over to the shower, just turning on the shower head and sitting down beneath it fully clothed. He just cried. Cried until no tears were left and then he cried some more. Eventually in a fit of anger he would pull his clothes off, grabbing a sponge and scrubbing every area of his body clean. So much so that he felt exhausted afterwards and his skin was red and even bleeding some spots. And yet he still felt dirty. Especially where the man had touched him. His neck was basically raw from how he had been scrubbing himself, but he refused to let Eden near him yet. This was something he had to do himself. And he felt way too dirty to even feel worthy of the vampyre's touch.

When he had basically scrubbed his skin off, he got up, shakily turning off the water before grabbing a few towels. That was when the nausea set in and he just had to make himself throw up what little he did have in his stomach. Sadly it was a comforting feeling, as fucked up as that was to admit. Brushing his teeth he moved swiftly to the bedroom. His hands were shaking as he reached for his comfort shirt. Would it help him now? He prayed to whatever god was listening in that it would. Putting it on made him feel better, grabbing a pair of underwear as well as some baggy sweat pants. His breath was hiccupping and he moved himself over to a corner of the room where he sat down, curling up with the corner to his back as he started to cry again. Shaking and feeling the pain of it all just rush down over him. He was a disgrace. He was truly nothing in the eyes of others and it felt so clear. Eden had been the only one who had asked before he took. He had made himself worthy to claim Romeo as his. But that daemon had defiled him, defiled everything good that had happened so far. How were people ever going to respect him as a business man if Eden wasn't there? What would stop anyone from trying to throw themselves at him or claim him without his consent? He just sat in the corner, crying out the anxiety that was rushing through his body.

Romeo heard the knocking and at first wasn't sure what to do. He felt disgusting. How would his husband ever not look at him and see how defiled he was? How absolutely unclean he was for this? But another part of him craved the comfort that only the vampyre could provide. So he forced himself to his feet, his knees shaking and his wet hair dripping on the floor. Reaching the door, his hands felt weak and cold, but he unlocked it. Outside was the man he had promised himself to. In sickness and in health. For better or for worse. And he just reached for him, hiding his face away in his chest as he just sobbed, needing the comforting embrace, needing to know that he wasn't spoiled goods. He couldn't bear the thought of losing what they had just because of this encounter. But it was also so very real what had happened. He was lucky that Eden had gotten to him in time, and yet even thinking that far made him shiver with fear. His knuckles were turning white at how hard he was grasping onto Eden's clothes. He wouldn't let go and he didn't even think he could at this point.

Romeo could so easily feel the anger within the vampyre that held him. Oh how he prayed the man he loved wasn't angry with him. He didn't think he could handle that. Still trembling he wasn't sure whether to be comforted by his promises. He wanted them to suffer as well, but right now he didn't want to think of anyone who had ever hurt him. All he truly needed was Eden to hold him, tell him that things would be alright. That they would be alright. "I..tol..d..h..im..to..le..t..go," his voice hoarse and broken, but he felt like he had to defend himself. He didn't want to think that he had encouraged the man or egged him on. No, he could never need anyone else's attention than the vampyre he was so desperately clinging to right this moment. He loved him too much. And then he started sobbing again, his arms shaking from how much he was straining his muscles just by holding onto his clothes.

Surely with how bad he felt it would eventually have a silver lining? Or at least he hoped so. Eden did the right thing of pulling him with him to the bed. Being close to him, feeling the pressure and touch of his husband made him know just how safe he was. The soothing words only aiding in making him calm down. He had survived something like this before, but he hated that thought even more. Nothing had changed between them. The statement alone made his head stop spiralling for a while just so he could relish in the gentle kisses and touched that only his husband could provide him with. He wanted to tell him how grateful he was that he was here. That he had saved him before it was too late. Before .. no! He couldn't let himself think of what-ifs it would only make things so much worse. Instead he focused on returning the kisses that his husband provided him with. There was a true love to be found in such small gestures, wasn't there?
His hands moved up, still shaky, but he ran his fingers up into the vampyre's hair, pressing him closer as their lips greeted in another kiss. He felt almost desperate to feel his love, but it was also terribly clear how he was straining himself. He felt tired. More tired than he had felt in a while. And yet he was afraid of sleeping, scared his mind might conjure up a nightmare more vile than reality.

Romeo had to admit that he felt saddened as Eden told him to stop. He shook his head no in disbelief, reaching for him as he was placed on the bed. He didn't need to speak to show how much he needed the man he loved. But luckily he didn't have to wait for long as Eden joined him once more, this time with a bare chest that Romeo eagerly reached for. The cold skin against his warm fingers was everything he seemed to crave. It grounded him so beautifully. The gentle tone made the lycan look rather vulnerably to his husband, unsure of where to start or where to guide him to. But again his love knew better, asking simple questions. He moved his hand up, placing it in Eden's care, nodding as he was asked if it could be kissed.
It felt good just taking things slow. He let him move on to his wrist and lower arm. Feeling the cold lips move around in a delicate manner, almost as if they were getting to know each other for the first time. Eventually having calmed down he took the vampyre's hand, stopping all movement. It was almost to test if he was truly in control, but of course his husband had never let him down before. His jaw tensing, he guided the cold hand down to the hem of his shirt and up under. He just wanted to feel his touch. Feel him where nobody else were allowed to look or touch.

It was a good feeling, the one of being in control, especially when that had been robbed from him too many times to actually count them on one hand. The serious expression and the reminder just made him nod, but he continued. This was his way of regaining power and knowing that this was his choice made him feel better. The thumb against his stomach made small shivers spread through his body, but they weren't unpleasant. He wanted to feel desirable to the man he loved, especially after this. Not being an object to be used, but a person to be cared for, and he trusted that Eden could provide that care even with his eyes closed. Romeo released his hand on his stomach, gasping softly before pressing his forehead to the vampyre's cheek, nudging him slightly as an incentive to keep going. He wanted to be touched where he doubted himself the most, especially by the man that had saved him. "E..e..els..ke..r.." He managed to say, straining his voice just to let him know that this was what he wanted to. He wanted to get better, he wanted Eden and him not to hide from each other. And while it was still a journey, at least being felt up like this while still wearing his comfort shirt was making everything a little easier.

Romeo was just giving himself over to the vampyre, but not releasing control. No, he was the one who decided to hand over himself. He could stop this at any moment if he would wish it so. Feeling the way the slightly warmed hand dragged over his skin, feeling the way the nails scraped him made him moan, albeit a little strained. It was funny how a body could remember touch such as this. Intimate and delicate touch that connected one neuron to the next and told the body what the possibilities were moving forward. Eden wasn't doing anything crazy or special, but the words combined with the touch that felt so needy made it all mean so much more. "M..o-o..re.." He whined with his raw voice, moving closer to him, wanting to feel more hands on him, feel how he could be wrapped up in his husband's touch so easily. He moaned, searching for the vampyre's lips and as he did he licked them almost playfully before kissing him. It was so clear that Romeo was enjoying this, that he was actually taking a moment to just feel how good Eden could make him feel. He wanted to forget anyone's hands had ever touched him. All touch would be replaced by those cold and comforting once that made the small hairs on his neck stand up.

It truly felt liberating. Being in control, knowing that he could stop at any moment and it would be respected. The grasp at his hip made him moan in a strained voice, the mutter making him hum as his liked hearing that. However he hadn't realized how selfish he had been just this second. The reminder that Eden had in fact not had anything to eat was a tough pill to swallow. Under normal circumstances he would've offered himself up, but he also knew his limits this time around. His hand moved up, cupping his face gently before he nodded. He understood. They had to stop or things could go wrong for the both of us. And to be frank, Romeo didn't think he could handle much more hurt today. But he also didn't want Eden to leave. "D..do..n..or..h..he..re," he strained himself to say. Eden could order a donor, it could come here, and things could get sorted, right? He wanted his husband strong and healthy. He didn't even care if it was some harlot donor once more. All he wanted to see was Eden in control of himself, and the vampyre couldn't help him unless he helped himself first. He placed his other hand on his chest, leaning in to steal a small and simple kiss as if to say go ahead. Nothing could ruin the moment. And Romeo also knew deep down that he himself had to eat soon enough as well.

Romeo was sure. He could choose either to be left alone while Eden went out or he could have his husband here and comfort him while also looking after his needs. He knew it was going to be tough on him to watch his vampyre drink from another, but he would have to put his selfishness aside just for a moment so that the man he loved could get some sustenance. He was left alone briefly, cozying up under the duvet, wanting to gain some heat as he frankly felt a little cold. It was because he hadn't really been eating. But he didn't really have any vocals to ask for anything, and he surely had no energy to go make something himself. So he waited until Eden returned, reaching for him even if he was still on the phone. He tried pointing to his mouth and then his stomach, but he was unsure if he was even coming across as understandable when he was reduced to using his hands to gesture with.

Seeing as right now food was tough for him, and yet he had asked, he just picked the bread with a single slice of some lean meat. He wasn't sure he was going to eat all of it, but he would at least try and get a bite of everything, even the protein drink. Because if Eden had to feed, then so did he to be healthy. To be able to provide him with blood. He was just carefully nibbling at the bread, not really taking any bites, more so ripping small parts off that he placed in his mouth, barely chewing before just swallowing. It was easier that way. The longer he chewed, the more he thought about it. And he couldn't afford any more mess ups this weekend. They had gotten married. They were happy. Now he just wanted to make sure that things would stay good on their little trip. Not only that, but he knew that he would have to go to have check ups at the facility, and he wasn't looking forward to that. He wasn't eating as consistently on this trip. Well he was eating which was good, but he should've maybe picked something more filled with protein. However he excused it away, saying that the protein drink would make up for it, even if it truly wouldn't.

He appreciated being left alone. Eating was hard, but eating in front of anyone was harder. He had at least gotten used to drinking water around people, but that was perhaps as far as he could go right now. Having eaten a bit of everything, even finishing the disgusting protein drink, he leaned back on the bed to rest a little. He felt tired. And when the vampyre came to check on him he realized that he had dozed off for a while. He hummed, nodding to signal that he was done before moving further down into the bed. For now he just wanted to be cozied up, warming himself so he could heal faster. He was already tired of not being able to speak, and even breathing seemed to hurt at this point.
There was a polite knock at the door, and once it was opened there stood a woman in the beginning of her thirties. She had short brown hair and was wearing a coat with a nice simple dress beneath it. She was a human quite clearly, stepping in as she was allowed to, taking off her coat and awaiting instructions. It was clear she did this for a living, a few marks here and there visible, but nothing too noticeable unless you had good vision. "How do you prefer to feed?" She asked politely. Her brown eyes calm and collected, remaining professional as if this was a business trade. And it sorta was in her eyes. She offered a service and the vampyre would pay for said service.
Romeo had heard the person enter, getting out of bed and into some pants as well. Moving out into the living room he saw her. She was rather pretty, but nothing too special. Frankly Romeo felt a little at ease seeing that this woman clearly knew what she was doing. He just remained silent, and the woman nodded politely to him as a greeting. "I do charge extra fees for bites in specific places, but I've been let known that your bite paralyzes, so I would like to refrain from you biting me," she made it clear that she had boundaries as well. From her bag she took out a sharp object, looking to Eden, letting him decide where he wanted to drink from.

Romeo perhaps showed too much of his insecurity in his eyes as he looked from his husband and to the woman. He at least felt proud that Eden referred him as such, but it didn't make his worry less. The woman turned around so she could look from either of them rather easily. "My main clientele is vampyres, though there are a few eccentrics that enjoy blood as well," she explained, Romeo stepping closer until he reached Eden, holding his hand as he needed the support. "I understand if you feel uneasy about this, but I can assure you that I have done this for many years; I get tested every week, make sure my blood levels are good and that I am healthy for my clients," while she couldn't pretend to know what the lycan's worries were, it was clear that she would cover all of the bases. "I know not my clients name, they know not mine, and that is how I feel most comfortable; I do get a vague description of looks as well as if there is anything unusual I would need to take into consideration," here she was clearly referring to Eden's bite. Romeo nodded, giving Eden's hand a squeeze. He wanted to say something, but he would probably sound strangled, and he didn't want her to think that his husband had done that to him.
"If he would like he can sit with us during the whole thing? I shouldn't see a problem in that," she spoke and Romeo nodded. With Eden he moved over to sit close by, but still giving the donor and the vampyre enough space. "Alright, let me guide you through it, seeing as it would perhaps soothe everyone here," she said. Of course the vampyre would know how it worked, but the lycan seemed more unsure. "I will puncture my wrist here-" signaling with the sharp object, "it will be far enough away from my main artery as to not kill me, but close enough to make the blood flow easily and steadily." And she did just that, puncturing her skin without hesitation, clearly having done it enough times to barely react to the pain anymore. Romeo had to admit he was a bit impressed. "Next the donor might drink from me; I usually allow about half a liter or less, as anything above will reduce the potency of my blood in the oncoming weeks," gesturing for Eden to drink and not let the blood be wasted. If he did she would nod and look to Romeo, barely acknowledging that there was a stranger feeding from her. "Usually that amount of blood takes a while for a vampyre to drink unless they are starving. I have a small device installed that lets me know when my client has had their fill." Romeo found this was very surprising, but he somehow felt more at ease seeing how almost clinical this was. Once the vampyre had had his fill, the donor would sterilize the area and place a nice and secure bandaid over it. "At this point my client is full, but I will have to remain seated, eat a bit of sugar and carbs before I can make my leave .. I usually do this in private," she said and Romeo nodded, getting up as he knew all too well how it was to eat in front of others. He looked to Eden, hoping he was doing alright.