Healing isn't always easy | Eden

He couldn't remember anything at all? He felt conflicted by that notion and it wasn't particularly comforting either. Though as he heard his husband's stomach growl he frowned because it sounded almost surreal. The statement made him scoff, but nodding he got on his feet. "We'll go fix up something," he said. He opted to find a towel for Eden, helping if he needed it, but deciding to get a head start on the cooking if he could handle it himself now that he was warmer. Heading out into the kitchen he stopped for a moment in the doorway. He felt faint shivers run down his back as he looked into the room. Just needing to gather some courage before continuing.
It was with shaky hands that he took out the papers with a recipe that the man from the center had given to him, knowing he had the ingredients home. Really it was nothing special; a simple pasta dish with a light sauce and grilled chicken. He was just happy that the chicken was pre cooked, so he just had to heat it up. He hated touching raw meat these days, but it made sense because it felt more akin to what he had forced himself to eat when he had been in his wolf form for so long. He put the water over for the pasta and got started on the sauce, taking breaks every now and again, stepping away from the food when he needed the break. Cooking took a long time for him, but it was better than surviving off of bread, fruit and protein shakes. And hopefully Eden liked it, because that was what kept him going.

Hearing him complain made Romeo worried, looking up from the cuttingboard in an instant and accidentally cutting his finger. Dropping the knife he cursed softly under his breath, of course in his native Italian as he moved over to the sink. Cold water pouring down on the cut as his body didn't handle loosing more that well. He felt dizzy and tired, and yet he kept going because he needed to. Otherwise everyone would be let down, right? Sadly Romeo didn't even realize how much he was pushing himself back into perfection. It was just a normal trauma response to him at this point. "Sorry about that," he said in a soft tone, trying to play it off as fine even though it was hurting a bit more than it should've. He grabbed some paper towels, keeping his finger wrapped while he went to one of their drawers and took out a band-aid, wrapping it nicely around his cut to keep it safe.
He moved over, cleaning the cutting board, and feeling rather happy that he hadn't managed to get blood on any of the chicken that he had been cutting into cubes. If Eden tried to take over he would just shake his head no, "I need to do this," he said, pointing at the recipe that stated that it would be most important for him to do this dish on his own to get accustomed to handling food. But he hated it. And as he continued to cut the chicken his shoulders were trembling. How was he ever going to eat this? He felt sick, but he finished up the meal, placing it on the counter. "Go ahead .. I need some fresh air," he just said, avoiding his gaze as he needed a bit of time to even think about eating.

Romeo headed out onto the balcony, grabbing on to the railing as he was panting softly. He just couldn't do anything right, could he? His eyes started welling up, and he wasn't even sure what would bring him comfort anymore. He felt so weak and tired, and he couldn't even wrap his mind around this whole Eden ordeal. He felt sweat on his forehead, and soon nausea kicked in. He managed to run to the bathroom before throwing up. His shoulders shivering as he sat on the floor, softly sobbing as he didn't want his husband to hear. It was bad for him to be this way, but he just felt so stressed out and exhausted too. Hell he wasn't even sure what he could do, so he just sat on the floor, head leaned against the wall next to the toilet as he felt his eyes grow heavier. His body didn't really have anything to fight with, nothing to keep him moving as the adrenaline had died out. In a fit of annoyance he took the band-aid off, revealing the fact he was still bleeding. This wasn't good. He was supposed to heal relatively quickly from a cut like that. But then again, what could his body truly do in a state like this? His face was probably white as a ghost, and he felt worse than he looked, that was for sure.

As Eden came in he just felt his shame rise, sobbing softly as he wasn't even sure what he could do anymore. Everything just felt so wrong. The kisses did little to soothe him, as he could feel how cold he was compared to the man he held so dear in his heart. He was starting to shiver now from being cold, and that was a bad sign for any lycan. A cold lycan was a very sick and weakened one. The help arrived and Romeo was barely hanging on to consciousness, though he did understand the choice. He didn't want to leave Eden when he was going through all of this, but he was also not doing good just being here. He had gone too many days unchecked, and he hadn't eaten enough at all while they had been away nor when he had gotten home. He gave Eden's hand a squeeze, almost to say that he was sorry, but tears were just rolling down his cheeks, making him more dehydrated. He just turned his head to the lady, giving her a nod of consent to take him with her. He couldn't put this burden on his husband, but he also hated that he had to leave him in his time of need. "Can we .. get a moment?" He just wanted to speak candidly and they couldn't really when someone was breathing down their necks.

Romeo hated this just as much as Eden, but they both knew that this was for the better. He simply hadn't been ready to just be let back into normal life, and with the vampyre draining him over and over it was clear that things had gotten worse. He had slept more than he had actually consumed food, and that in it of itself was so bad for him. Opening his mouth to object he was soon enough shushed into silence as he felt so saddened seeing his love like this. But Eden was right. They were two parts of a whole, and yet Romeo felt saddened by this so much so that his heart was hurting. "I'm sorry," he whispered, giving Eden's hand a gentle squeeze. There was so much he was sorry for, so much that he felt it impossible to list right now. "I don't want to be a burden to you on top of what you're going through," he admitted, his voice a little broken from the emotions. He wrapped his arms around the man he loved, hiding his face away in the nape of his neck, just holding him close. He wished he could just get better. Wished that he didn't have to struggle so much, but after everything he honestly felt so stressed out and it wasn't helping him cope with himself.

Eden did well in reminding him what he had said earlier. Deep down he knew they would figure this out, but it just felt too bad right now to even think that far. He was just happy that Eden didn't see him as a burden, but he also knew that finding motivation to do this for himself would prove troublesome. All of his life he had felt like he had to do something to please someone else, and maybe that was why he was struggling so much. Their lips connected, but it felt bittersweet. For one was the fact that it wasn't the cold lips that greeted him, rather lips that felt warmer than he himself felt. But he also tried to remind his body that this was still Eden, just a little different. Nodding at the promise he nuzzled their noses together, "try and get adjusted first .. I don't know if you have anyone you could call that might help you, but I don't like the idea of you working this out on your own." Just like he needed help, so did Eden.
He knew it was time to go as there was a soft knock on the door. Romeo was helped up and out to a car that was waiting for him, holding on to Eden the whole way as if he was afraid to let go. "Come visit me as soon as you can, alright?" He pleaded with him softly, feeling his heart race because he knew this was not only going to be hard on him, but Eden as well.

This pain in his chest as he had to say goodbye for a second time just broke him, crying silently for the most of the car ride. He knew he was getting the help he needed, but it didn't take away from the fact that he wished Eden could be there with him. When he finally arrived he was hooked up to a multiple of machines, but most notably was a feeding tube. Seeing as he refused to eat, they had to force it into him along with fluids. It took all of the energy out of him so he eventually just fell asleep.
He was on the tube for a good few days, just gaining some strength back. He was sitting outside, looking at the autumn leaves pass by in the wind. It was on days like these that he felt so helpless. He missed Eden. And yet he knew he had his own struggles. It truly felt awful, because he felt selfish. He had been given a phone, one that was heavily monitored, but he decided to try and call his husband. If only to hear his voice mail.

Romeo felt almost relieved to hear his voice, "hi," he greeted back, a faint smile on his lips as he could hair the slight rasp to his voice. Yeah, he had been sleeping, and it was weird to wrap his head around, but he also sounded rather sexy like this for some reason. He gladly listened to everything he had done with the trainer, and he realized just how much work he had put into himself. It made him feel good to hear, because he had felt so guilty leaving him behind like that. Hearing how he had fought sleep made him a bit worried, but he didn't say that, because it felt obvious. The questions made him shrug a little, breathing out softly as he felt so tired at this point. "Well I'm still hooked up to a feeding tube," he said, knowing it wasn't the worst thing in the world, but he just hated it. "I've gained a few kilos already, but they don't want to risk me losing more, so they're keeping me on it for a few more days." It was clear from how he spoke about it that he didn't like it. Of course he liked getting better, but the forced feeding and seeing his body change felt awful.
"They also say that you can't come visit me until I've gained more weight," that was the hardest pill to swallow, looking down at his fingers. He felt like he had peeled off the skin so many times at this point, but luckily he was starting to heal faster again. "My bloodwork came back fine today, and I'm currently out for a walk in the garden .. just sitting on a bench." Was it boring to say that? He wished he had something better to tell him about, but he just missed him so much that it was aching him not being by his side.

Eden was right, but he also hadn't heard the full story. But frankly the lycan felt a bit too embarrassed to just talk about that part yet. He could hear how his husband seemed more aware now, and he knew it wasn't in a good way. "It's to encourage me to work with them and not against them - their words, not mine," he said, though frankly he hadn't been the easiest to work with. And granted he had more than once pulled the feeding tube out to much anger of the workers. The question regarding what they did make him shake his head no, but he seemed to realise that Eden's couldn't really pick up on that anymore. "They don't, and I'm not planning on telling them either," he said in all seriousness. No, then they surely would never allow Eden to visit.
He smiled a little as the love of his life spoke of his wishes in a sweet sigh. Romeo closed his eyes, grasping onto his shirt a little, "when I squeeze my eyes shut really hard I can sometimes imagine that you're here with me .. maybe not physically, but in spirit I suppose," he admitted. It was weird, but Eden accepted that weirdness so effortlessly. "It helps that I'm allowed to have my wedding ring on," he admitted, opening his eyes to look at it. He was so happy to have it. Like a trinket that connected them even if they were apart. A signal to others that he belonged to someone special. "Are you busy today?" He asked, wanting to know of his plans. He already missed their small home.

Hearing him confirm that he was in fact there for him made him smile, feeling a bit better than before the call. It was funny how much Eden could just cheer him up so easily. But it also made sense. Hearing about what he had been doing sounded a little complicated, but as always he appreciated how eloquent and well spoken his husband was. The notion of him growing a beard made him widen his eyes, "really?" He felt so surprised to hear. He had always known Eden to be well shaven and to imagine him even with a stubble was hard. "I'm going to need picture proof, you know?" He smiled, teasing him slightly to just keep the mood light and sweet.
Leaning a bit back on the bench he started to play lightly with a loose string on his shirt. "Have you gotten used to having a heartbeat?" He asked, knowing that had been one of the things that the former vampyre had complained about. It hadn't been a sound that the lycan had ever expected to hear. And frankly it was scaring him a bit. Maybe because the cold hands had been such a source of comfort to him. Could he get used to tempered hands? Time would tell, but he loved Eden regardless of his race. It was still his husband, just a little different.

"You look like my husband no matter what at least," he said, smiling a little stupidly. Weird how love made you silly like this, but it was only in moments like these when he truly missed him so much. Humming at the notion of a heartbeat, he knew that it had been weird for both of them, and Romeo still found it strange to say the least. But if this was how things were now, then he would just have to adjust and get comfortable accepting what was going on. What he didn't like hearing was that Eden had hurt himself, frowning in a worry as his baffling words came out. He couldn't help but scoff, "did you think us mortals walked around pretending that things hurt?" He just had to ask, because it seemed like Eden had never really known the hurt of everyday life.
When he asked about his mother he was a bit confused, "no, I mean I did slightly before we left for our town, but not really after," he admitted. It was strange to bring her up, and while she was coming around to accepting him and Eden, he still made sure to not get too attached. "Why? What's up?"

"I could worry I'd change too much." he sighed. Sure, a beard wouldnt be too much. But his whole being had changed, he was no longer with vampyric beauty. He looked too human! He did keep a bit of his beauty but it wasnt on a supernatural level. And that was so odd to him as well. The mention of him being burned, and Romeo's question made him chuckle. "I didnt expect it to feel like this." he simply replied, gritting his teeth as he pushed his thumb onto one of the burned fingers, drawing in a sharp breath. Yeah it was still tender.
He moved the conversation to the lycan's mother and he hummed softly at the reply. It made sense since Romeo had only then seen his mother a little bit before they went. "I was just wondering. Maybe it would be good for you to talk to her more as well?" he said, though from the tone of his voice was he careful with his words.

The mention of his mother and needing to talk to her made him frown. He looked down, unsure what to say as he thought about it. "I don't know it would be wise," he just said, though it was mostly stemming from the fact that he feared her reaction. Not only to the fact that he was in the facility yet again, but also that he was in fact now married and had taken another name. It was just so much, and he wasn't really looking to be judged by her in any way. "She's still struggling with me being gay and battling sickness .. she doesn't need more on her plate," he said. Swallowing he felt sad thinking about it. Before him and his mother had been very close, but it seemed that they were drifting further and further apart. He just hoped that they might reconnect down the line. "I might make contact with some friends .. I still keep in contact with some that live in Italy," he shrugged, because if it would make Eden feel better, then he would do it. Otherwise he didn't see a point to it. Frankly it was all just a struggle these days.

If Romeo didnt think it was wise then it wasnt. But Eden was still curious as to why that was. Not because he would disagree. At least not as his intention initially. "Maybe it could be good to start small. Not dive into all the shit that's going on?" he suggested but Romeo could decide for himself. The mention of his friends made Eden smile a little. "I do like that idea. You did want to go back home at some point either way, right? So it would be good to keep in touch with them." he pondered. He moved around in bed to lie on his side, drawing in a deep breath. His stomach rumbled a little. "All these noises annoy me." he scoffed before he sat up, groaning softly as his body felt so tired. It was so human, how his muscles were aching after working out, because apparently he had to do that now.