The everyday monsters in our lives

His heart was aching but he couldnt push the vampyre away now. It took his mind off the hurt, the anger, the sadness. It made him feel less like he was dealing with this on his own and he definitely couldnt make a logical decision now. The vampyre pulled away and Joe was breathing hard while the tears still ran down his cheeks. Their lips connected again and he returned it just as he had the first one, keeping his eyes closed. He hadnt really been lying when he said he lacked experience due to the lack of interest. But he let his body have the control, not so much his thoughts that were a mess anyway. “Do you hate me?” He asked, though it was a dumb question. It felt quite valid for the time being, even if it didnt make sense. Joe probably wouldnt make sense for a while.

The break for air left him panting softly, his heartbeat increased with the feeling that was spreading through his chest. He listened to the vampyre, switching between the green eyes that were looking at him. He felt their foreheads connect, frowning lightly at the vampyre’s words. He sat up, sitting face to face with the vampyre, even if he was much taller. He reached up to touch the vampyre’s cold face, holding it between his hands. “I dont deserve it.” He muttered, looking at him with saddened eyes. Even if it felt good. He however couldnt deny that he wanted to be selfish too, and the vampyre were saying all the right things. Joe leaned in, connecting their lips again, moving his hands to rest on Cesare’s shoulders.

He definitely wouldnt believe that he deserved better as of right now which maybe explained why he behaved as he did. Seeking comfort from a vampyre? Would he really have done that under different circumstances? He felt the pull and ended up on the vampyre’s lap, but their kissing continued undisturbed until the vampyre broke it off. The question made Joe frown as he felt the answer was complicated. “I dont know.” He muttered, because he couldnt really say that he was in touch with himself right now. “I dont care what you call me.” He however said. The vampyre could call him anything he wanted. He felt the hands wander but didnt say anything. He just hugged him closer, hearing the vulnerable whisper. “Why do you care? I’m just an idiotic human.” He muttered, unsure why it meant so much to the immortal.

He saw the conflict in the vampyre’s eyes, listening to him speak. He didnt really know what to say. Was it really odd that he still wasnt sure where to place him? Sure, his affection had grown in the time they had spent together but Joe didnt know if it was just because he was bored or genuine. The apology made him feel less sure that this wasnt exactly what he was starting to think that it was. And yet it was easier to push it away.
He frowned lightly at the mutter, to then be told to forget about it. Was the vampyre truly this conflicted? He felt the kisses on his neck again and he closed his eyes, feeling how Cesare grasped at him. The plea made him sigh, leaning back to look at the vampyre. “Cesare. I dont think we should do this.” Though he said his name in a tender tone, his words were serious.

Cesare agreeing took Joe out of the moment as well, feeling the cold hands move off of him. But he could also feel how he didnt want to. From the way his fingertips ran down his back. The apology made him shake his head. There was no need to apologize. Right? The addition made him frown. “Dont say that.” He said, because if Cesare was a monster and he was holding him like this? Then what would that make Joe. Well, maybe he deserved to feel like a monster too. He moved off him and watched him get up. “Dont go.” He said, reaching out to grab his hand. He didnt want to be alone right in this moment. Could you really blame him? “Come back to bed.” He muttered in a soft plea.

He could allow to let Cesare order him food, but he wasnt sure he wanted to be completely away from the vampyre. It was so different from the attitude he had had in the hotel room. The strong contrasts of wanting to be as far away as possible to now need to be as close as possible. Of course it was mostly from the shock he was still going through or was that just what he would tell himself? He closed his eyes as soon as he was back in the vampyre’s arms, drifting off to sleep.

They had eventually parted, though neither of them seemed to have anything to say to the other. Joe returned to Churchill, getting back into his daily rhytmn and slowly getting over what had happened. Sure it still made him sad when he really thought about it but it was managable. He found great relief in picking fights at bars and getting some steam out that way. He sat on a barstool, his knuckles bruised and bleeding, a bruised lip and discoloured cheekbone, but you know what? He felt alive. And for once he felt like life was going back to the way it was supposed to. He moved outside, lighting a smoke, before he grabbed his phone. He couldnt really believe he had done it but somehow he felt daring.

[Texts between Joe and Cesare]
[Joe:] I dont know if I stole the right number from your phone in the motel. If not then just forget this message.

He was expecting some kind of answer but also couldnt deny that he probably didnt deserve one. He smoked his cigarette, feeling the nicotine do it’s work and calm his nerves. The reply ticked in and he read it, frowning a little as it was rather… simple. He stuck his cigarette in his mouth to type with both hands. He wasnt exactly quick on the buttons.

[Joe:] Are you still avoiding me or can I get you a drink?
[Joe:] Not tonight. I’m not exactly presentable as of right now.

He finished his cigarette by the time he got a reply. He looked at the message, scoffing softly, though it was doable. He wasnt sure his cheek or lip would’ve healed by then, but it was also just a part of who he was, wasnt it? He was the kind of guy that always got in fights and had something to heal. The other guy looked just as bad and he at least had some comfort in knowing that.

[Joe:] I will.
[Joe:] see you then.

He put his phone away and headed back home after that. He tried to tend the wounds he had gotten but he really wasnt an expert. He went to the top of the roof at his apartment building with a bottle of water to sober up. He looked out on the city, drawing in a deep breath, lighting another cigarette. He pulled out his phone.

[Joe:] Are you busy tonight?

He sipped off his waterbottle, looking over the busy city while he waited. He had expected an answer but just being sent an address felt rather forward. He did look it up. What was with this guy and being in fancy hotels? He finished the waterbottle and went to change his clothes from the semi dirty clothes he had worn before. He had kind of been dragged through the mud with the dude he had fought. He ruffled up his hair rather than wearing his cap, to then finish up and head for the hotel. He arrived eventually but decided to stay outside rather than go in. He texted him to alert him.

[Joe:] I’m here. Come outside.

He felt his phone vibrate, picking it up to hear the vampyre’s voice. He however wouldnt be surprised if the vampyre was trying to trick him. Would he ever get that feeling of underlying mistrust to go away? Probably not. Under the circumstances they had met, would Joe probably have a hard time trusting him fully. And yet he went in anyway, stated his name and was told where to go.
He entered the room and looked around, though it was fancy it wasnt really something that spoke to Joe. As a man who worked hard, he more appreciated the affordable things. But he wasnt sure he would feel that way if he had had to deal with those things for his lifetime twenty times over. He saw him on the terrace and joined him. “I’m surprised there’s not some half naked man lying around somewhere with bitemarks.”

“It was a good fight.” He argued with a shrug. It wasnt like a few cuts and bruises could really kill him. It would be gone in a few days, only a teeny tiny scar if he took good care of it. The bruise would fade and be completely gone. He sat down as the vampyre instructed him, looking out on the view here. It was quite high and overlooking everything. And he wouldnt say that Churchill was a small city. The vampyre returned and Cesare’s mutter made Joe chuckle softly. He was still a little tipsy so he was rather relaxed for once. “A black eye. And maybe a chipped jaw.” He said, though there had been a bit of blood so he couldnt really tell. He inhaled sharply as it was cleaned, though the stinging was good right?
“It’s fine. I had water before I got here.” He replied, not really wanting to intrude too much. While the vampyre went back with the kit, was Joe just sitting there. He did look around for a bit on the terrace. So fancy. Everything looked as if someone had put it there for a specific purpose. Even looking down at the floor by his feet, the tiles were placed in a beautiful design.

He hadnt expected that Cesare would have gotten him anything but being given a bottle of water, he just thanked him politely. He rolled the bottle between his palms slowly, feeling how the soft plastic moved with a bit of pressure. The question made him hum as he nodded, looking at the bottle. “Yeah. It’s been alright.” He said, though he wasnt lying it wasnt like he was thriving completely. Things were just normal.
The comment had him scoff softly. “I started working out again to stay healthy, so yeah, I’ve been eating.” He said, to then frown. Why were they talking about eating habits? “Why did you not come outside?” He asked, lifting his eyes from the bottle to look at the vampyre.

Yelled at in front of the hotel? “Why would I yell at you?” He asked, scratching the side of his head as it didnt make sense to him. Had he been aggressive or given any hints to want to fight? He had already fought one guy today. And he didnt quite stand a chance with a vampyre. The question made him shrug in the same manner that Cesare had. “I’m trying to understand myself more.” He just said. Was that answer good enough even though it was cryptic? “You keep speaking as if I’m here to make you feel bad.” He said before he got up and went to the vampyre. The alcohol was making him far more daring, and less drawn back as he would most definitely prefer to be in his sober state. He placed a hand under Cesare’s chin, making him lift his head. “What if I just plain and simply wanted to see you?” He asked, switching between the green eyes below him.