The everyday monsters in our lives

Fuck. It hurt so much to just hear him confirm it. All those late nights he had been staring at the cube when it had turned pink and now he knew who it was. He knew who Benjamin had chosen to be with and it hurt too much for him to even describe. He just nodded, looking down as he let him finish his cigarette. However what came next made him snap his head back to look at him even more confused. Frowning he felt like he went through every emotion before he landed on betrayal. "You can't demand that," he said, getting up as he shook his head. Keeping his distance still he felt himself well up. "You can't just .. just barge in here and say that I don't deserve to try and be happy," and while he knew he would never be happy with Diana, she would at least like him enough to stick around.
He scoffed. This had to be some sick joke. But he wasn't sure why the human was so set on ruining everything. Had he not stayed away? Had he not given him and Sadie all the time and space they needed? He felt himself shake a little from the emotions he felt, his shoulders especially could be recognizable to the human. "Is this what it is about? Am I too much of a monster to you that I can't even be with anyone?" He shook his head, not wanting the human to answer. No, he had made himself very clear. "Diana is good for me .. she's good with my sires, she respects my order of things .. she shows that she likes me."

What Benjamin testified to seeing made him stop mid sentence about Diana. Confused at first he then soon began to shake his head no. "You're lying," he just said, clearly not willing to listen, "is this your idea of some sick prank? Is it because of all the horrible things you had to endure with me?" He was shaking worse now, his hand reaching over to hold himself on the chair by the armrest. He didn't trust himself like this. "I get it, go on, tell me more horrible shit," he said. Was it not clear that he just wanted to suffer at this point? He had clearly convinced himself that he needed to be punished for loving a human who couldn't love him back.
"How about we start with me obsessing over this shitty cube," he said putting it on the table with his hands shaking. The cube had been what had kept him sane most nights. "Do you know what it's like to know when the man you still love and is trying to get over is being intimate with someone else?" Tears were forming in his eyes, "because I do." His shakes were bad, but he still contained himself. "Night after night after night .. that fucking cube lit up pink and I just knew it never would do that around me."

"Oh I'm sorry, as if you wouldn't have done the same if the roles had been reversed? Only wait, not you would've not had to struggle with it, you could just throw it out," he argued, shaking his head as he hadn't had it easy with this. But how could he truly look away? How could you throw out the only thing that kept you somewhat in touch with the man you still loved? He finally let a few tears fall, waiting to be yelled at. Or perhaps the human would just do him the favor and bash his skull in? Who knew at this point, as the vampyre could imagine some pretty messed up shit.
However the confession made him look to the human, confused and perhaps even a little scared. Not scared as afraid, but scared what that meant. Because it meant that he cared about him and still refused him. The cube was thrown away, and a part of Cesare's mind wanted to run after it, grab it and keep it safe. But he also didn't feel like he could move a single muscle. Then the human asked a rather stupid question. Of course he wanted to know how he felt. He wanted to be sure that this wasn't just some game. The confession made him sad, and the blame put on him was rightfully deserved. He didn't know what came over him, but he got up, walking to him and kneeling down in front of him. Carefully removing his hands, he instead held his already slightly puffy face. "I never meant to hurt you," he admitted, a few tears escaping his eyes as he just looked at the human. He wanted to kiss him, but he also knew what he had just said. He hated what he had done to him. "I'm selfish .. I've never been good with my temper and I just wish that I could be what you deserve," he admitted, his thumbs caressing his cheekbones gently. He was scum, wasn't he? Touching the human well knowing that he was perhaps hurting him at the same time. "I guess that's why I dreamed of being a human with you; you wouldn't have the same conflict; I could live a real life with you; and I would do it in a heartbeat if I could, but I can't - and that feels like my biggest failure."

Seeing Benjamin look at him, he just couldn't help but feel awful. He had done this to him. He had made him hurt so much and now there wasn't anything he could do. Then the hands cupped his face, shaking his head no a little, but not to remove the hands, more because he didn't liked being toyed with like this. This couldn't be happening. Anytime now, he would wake up and he would be alone in the bed and only the glowing cube by his side. But he didn't wake. Of course Benjamin was right. The vampyress would never make him happy. In fact he didn't even give a shit if she did cheat on him, as long as he didn't have to be alone.
Time stood still in that moment before their lips crashed. The tears just couldn't be held back anymore, his hands releasing his face to wrap them around his body, pulling him closer like never before. Don't let this be a cruel dream, he prayed in his head, groaning softly as this felt too good to be real. He felt selfish, he felt wretched, and he knew he was in love. Breaking the kiss just to breathe he felt like he couldn't believe this had just happened. "I've spent so much time trying to get over you," he admitted, panting lightly as his fingers crumbled up his shirt on his back, almost desperate for his touch. "Don't play games with me now .. I can't bear it." A genuine plea from a vampyre that hurt too much to feel like he was even truly existing if this was just the human getting up and going away again.

Everything felt like it was happening too fast and Cesare felt almost bombarded by one emotion after another. He was pushed back, the human on his knees opening the vampyre's belt and he felt a knot in his throat before he shook his head. He thought he had been ready. He thought this was all he had ever wanted. But it felt too rushed and too sudden. Reaching down he took his hands gently, just holding them as he looked down. He needed to gather his thoughts, needed just a second to consider this before both of them lost themselves. "Benjamin," he said before looking at him with gentle eyes, giving his hands a loving squeeze. "I want you more than words can describe .. but this feels a little too fast for me," he just had to set his boundaries right away. He had seen how the human had pushed him away after he had gotten what he wanted. He didn't want this to be something he had to prove.
Instead he was more liking what he did next. He got up, smiling at him like the human just needed to trust him. He pulled him with him into the hotel room, the evening air making the room nice and cool after a warm summer's day. He dimmed the lights a little, just to make it more relaxed, putting on some casual and calming music. "If we are to do this, I want to do right by you," was he being cheesy? Too much? He wasn't sure, but he soon enough leaned in and connected their lips again. His kisses more playful and longing as he sighed against his mouth, undoing the buttons to the human's shirt rather slowly and easily. "You can undress me too if you want," he assured him, granting him another kiss, licking his lips gently.

Cesare wasn't looking to just have his way with him. If this was what the human wanted, then he at least wanted to be romantic about it. Make the experience memorable to both of them and not just the time when he was sucked off after an argument. Feeling his skin warm up his hands a little greedily grasped at him, feeling how the heat was practically rubbing off on him. Of course it would disappear quickly, but that was just another sentiment to keep going. He never wanted to be cold again. He just wanted Benjamin to warm him up constantly. The mutter made him smile, humming before he was touched over his underwear, owing the human a soft groan from him. He moved his wet lips from their tongues' dance down to his neck, suckling gently on his skin as he finally got the shirt off of him. He wasn't in a rush. In fact he soo started moaning sweetly into his ear as he was touched. Hearing Benjamin moan as well only made it better. He wanted to say that he loved him, but he wasn't sure if that would make the human hesitate.
"I love you," he just said it anyways. It was like it was forced from his throat and he couldn't contain himself. He moved on down to his pants, undoing the belt, his own hips bucking against the human's hand, grunting slightly as he felt so turned on by him. And yet he was still holding back. Perhaps because nothing could ever remove the fear he had of being pushed away again. "Ah .. Benjamin you're a little rough," he chuckled, but he did like how eager he was. It was cute, but even a vampyre could be a bit sensitive when it came to that area. He moved a hand down, guiding him sweetly but not taking control. Just showing him how he liked it, "nothing too crazy .. I can feel you just fine, little mouse." Yeah he would never stop with his pet names, would he?

"It's okay, it's alright," he assured him, because the human seemed willing to learn. And he was a fast learner as well. Feeling that pull, that need that Benjamin had for him made it all feel so good. The tongue as well made him lean his head back, giving him full access to his neck and wherever else he wanted to use that marvelous tongue of his. It had genuinely never felt better. Well the only thing that could make it better came only few moments after. He felt weak to his knees, not something he had ever felt before, as he leaned away to look into his eyes. He just wanted to make sure that he had heard right. "You love me?" he asked, clearly perplexed, but his eyes fluid as a positive answer would mean so much to him. It was then he felt like he really had a beating heart.
Getting both of them out of their pants and socks, he pulled him to the couch. He sat down, pulling the human on top of him just to have him close and let their two body heats battle it out between them. "Don't be afraid .. use your hips," he muttered sweetly, grabbing his hips showing just how easily he could rub himself against him. "It feels good for me too," he assured him, gritting his teeth as he moaned softly at the friction it created. His hands were busy exploring his chest and back, grasping at it, licking it with his tongue as well as kissing and biting him all over.

He said it. He actually said it, with his name and everything! If it wasn't because they were in a tender spot right now he would've probably hopped around, dancing and screaming with joy. But he didn't, and maybe that was why he felt so eager. Having him on top of him felt legitimately unreal. His hips so perfect, his muscles so sweet as they tensed. He wanted all of him, wanted him to moan until he lost all abilities to speak anything but his name. Hold them? He felt a sweet shiver move down his spine, reaching down to hold around both of their lengths at the same time. He didn't move his hand, but just watched how the slid together within his hand.
Gritting his teeth, the whimper just egged him on, but the human stopped, and the vampyres eyes turned more serious, releasing their lengths and instead just wrapping his arms tightly around Benjamin. Not to constrain him but more so to supply some pressure to make him feel safe. "One thing at a time it is then, my apologies," he whispered gently, kissing his lips carefully, just being there for him. "Tell me where to start, and then add stuff for me to do once you feel ready or if you need something else, alright?" He was rather attentive, but even the most attentive guy could lose himself a little. Especially when this had only been something he could dream about before. "Kisses?" he whispered, smiling as he placed gentle kisses over his collarbone and upper chest. He was just testing out what he wanted and then doing it.

Overstimulated. That was the word that Benjamin was looking for, and Cesare saw no problem in changing his eagerness into something more concrete. If this was what the human needed, he wouldn't ever disregard it. The question made him chuckle a little, "I suppose I'm asking myself that question too," he admitted, "I'll let you know when I have an answer." It was a slight tease, but he could hardly figure out what the real world was anymore. The soft whispers of admissions made him whimper softly, bucking his hips against the human's hand. It was sweet and calm, but it made him moan in need, barely able to contain himself. Another admission came forward and Cesare looked to the man he cared so much for with vulnerable eyes. How could he deny such a request?
"Just .. at least place a pillow under your knees," he couldn't stop him. If he really wanted to do this, then Cesare couldn't hold back his own wants to see and feel that. It would be an experience, he knew that. "Look at me," he pleaded, placing a hand against his cheek, "I know you get in your head about things like these .. but don't go crazy .. I'd much rather watch you doing this slowly." He smiled at him. He got off in a different way, which was the connection he had with his partner. And he had a feeling that being with the man he had fallen too hard for would give him plenty of material.

Cesare basically let him do whatever he needed to do, but he had to admit that feeling the human pull adjust him made him feel really good. Along with the touch of course. Watching him figure out what he wanted to do felt so endearing, but not in a derogatory way. Rather Cesare loved watching what was going on and how the human was trying to figure out was to do first, the saliva being spread made him moan softly. Feeling that warmth around him at souch a sensitive spot really felt divine. The kisses made him whimper softly, reaching down to just caress his cheek as he started to bop his head. Cesare smiled happily, moaning at not only the feeling but the sight as well. How pink his cheeks were and how his eyes so tenderly looked to him.
It seemed like the human was struggling a bit, but Cesare had told him to take his time, and whenever Benjamin looked to him, the vampyre's eyes had nothing but adoration in his eyes and slow soft moans leaving his lips. He stopped and Cesare tilted his head a little to the side. Was he disliking this? If that was the case he didn't have to do this. However the complaint put all of his thoughst at ease, smiling as he shifted himself a little, kissing the wet lips that he enjoyed so much while he was still being slowly jerked off. "You are doing it," he assured him against his lips, moaning into his mouth to let him really experience what this was doing to him. "Everything you do feels heavenly, dearest, so don't doubt your skills," he wanted to encourage him. The human didn't have to be afraid of making mistakes. They could figure out what they wanted together.
He leaned away, just moaning softly at the hand that still spread the warm saliva around. He returned to the position Benjamin had wanted him in. "You don't have to know everything about what I like .. we can figure that out together," he promised. This was about learning each other's bodies, and Cesare of course had no problem in figuring everything out. He hummed softly as he inspected the human, his thumb caressing the warm lower lip. "I like it when you drool on me .. it feelt really good, ah, and the hand right now is really keeping me hard," he complained softly and yet it was also an incentive to keep going.
"I like your lips .. how warm they are, and how good it feels to be allowed into your mouth .. I like your tongue, just pressing against me as you bopped your head," he was just listing what he liked, but he supposed he was listing everything that Benjamin had already done. "This isn't math, it's nature," he assured him.

Cesare couldn't help but grunt softly watching the saliva drip down from his lips. Fuck he looked so hot like this. His member twitched eagerly, and he had to lean back as he was taken in once again, not afraid of moaning and panting slightly. He kept his eyes on the human, enjoying every second. It wasn't anything crazy, and yet he felt terribly on edge. His hand moved to entangle in his hair, not holding him in place but feeling the rhythm along with just touching his soft strands. He was so beautiful with his lips around his length that he knew he was soon going to have to give in. Feeling the friction against the roof of his mouth along with the soft vibrations made him moan in return. "If you keep doing that I'm going to cum," he warned him, smiling as he wasn't expecting him to let him shoot into his mouth. And regardless of where he got to unload it would feel good because it was Benjamin doing it.
"Benjamin," he moaned from deep in his stomach, a warning that he could go any second now, and as he crumbled his vision blurred for a little while. Panting softly it wasn't because he needed air, it was more of a thing he had picked up on, as being silent made most people feel uncomfortable. Also he couldn't hold back on his sounds. "Come up here," he pleaded in a slight haze, pulling at him gently before he was back in his lap. He leaned in, kissing his lips, only feeling turned on by the taste of himself on the human's lips.

He wasn't looking to make the human feel the pressure to do this, but he did and his eyes rolled into the back of his skull at the sight alone. Feeling his sensitive length being cleaned off made him groan. And yet he couldn't deny that it felt good to be cared for like this. He was so used to being the caregiver, and right here he had felt so loved. The human joined him once more and he pressed him closer, wanting to feel how warm he had gotten. It felt so good to just be close, making out gently and still feeling the human's excitement press against his skin. He hoped he wasn't too cold.
However the chuckling did make him a bit confused. Was he uncomfortable? And yet as he disclosed that he was happy it just made the vampyre's expression soften up. Feeling his face cupped so gently made his whole body spin with delight. "Do you want more tonight?" He asked, just to be sure that they were both on the same page. His hand snaked down between them, touching Benjamin's member, touching it delicately but not really jerking him. Just teasing him a little as he decided. "I mean I won't leave you like this .. I would like to return the favour, if you would let me?" It was really up to the human how far he wanted to take this.

Cesare hummed as he smiled, leaning in to kiss him down his neck, "You're so cute when I touch you," he mused, but it was clear it really made him happy. Could do anything to him? "Don't tempt me," he whispered in a soft chuckle before he pulled away to look at him. He however would give him the release he clearly needed. Turning him over on his back on the couch, the vampyre didn't hesitate to hover above him. He rested himself on his arm as his hand started to slowly jerk him off. He moaned against his lips, licking them sweetly.
"It's real," he said, referring back to what they had discussed earlier. He smiled against his lips, giving them a sweet slight lingering kiss before moving down along his chest. If the human asked how he knew it, he would chuckle, licking along his sternum, just tasting his skin and the slight sweat from how heated up his body was. "Because even in my most vivid imagination I wouldn't be able to recreate the lovely sounds you make when I touch you," it was a vulnerable thing to admit to, but it was also very true. He moved his lips further down, still jerking him gently, just helping him stay on edge.
Kissing him down his v-shaped lower abdomen, he finally reached his destination. "You want me cold or tempered?" He asked, mostly because he wasn't sure what would feel best for him.