Dreaming a dream as someone who hates dreams but needs sleep

She looked at him just as sad if not sadder because she wore her emotions on her sleeves. The question didnt make sense to her and she showed it. Protect her from what? He had never mentioned there being any danger. Unless he meant something else by that but it made no sense to her. She let go of his wrist and felt how he took her hand. His question about her feeling lead on however irritated her, and she couldnt shut up. “You told my parents that you were the father of my child. You said to me that you would act the part and be  what I needed!” She argued, because she couldnt believe him right now. “And then you tell me after all that it wont work out after all? That we would be better off as friends?” She asked, feeling the tears run down her cheeks. She began sobbing, shaking her head. “I… I-I wish I had never agreed to this silly arragement... I wish I had never met you!” She spoke from her hurting heart and as she began to cry, she woke up to tears in her eyes and small streaks down her cheeks.

She sat up, drying her eyes, whimpering softly to herself. The shadow surprised her as it spoke, making her feel goosebumps all over as the question felt so cryptic that she didnt even know what to answer. The question was elaborated and she sniffled and rubbed her eyes, staying quiet for a moment as she thought about it. “No.” She said, however she gripped her duvet as she did have one wish. One horrible wish that she surely would come to regret. “I wish that I wouldnt have to sleep. Never again.” She whispered but her words felt true. She didnt even really know what it was that she was asking of this creature. She didnt even know the implications. She just didnt want to hurt anymore.

When the wish came true, she did feel like something had been taken out of her, leaving her hollow. She however got up and felt the urge to sleep now cease from existence. She chuckled a little but with how sad she was, was it almost melancholic. Had she messed up for good this time or would it work out? She didnt know.
Morning came eventually and off she went to work. There was nothing the first few days. But now not needing sleep, she felt a different exhaustion that she couldnt quite soothe. Her brain couldnt relax and she open found herself more irritable and mean. Her body also felt the exhaustion, and one night she laid down. Surely it hadnt been more than a joke. She closed her eyes but nothing happened. She laid there for hours, trying to sleep and it was no use.
In a fit of irritability, did she grab her jacket and move outside. She went far, to a park she didnt even know. She sat on one of the benches, watching the reflection of the moon in the water, though she zoned out a little, sitting in her own world.

It surprised Mari a lot that the raven spoke freely of something that sounded like it was some deep secret. But Mari listened, even if she felt a little helpless in the situation. If Aiastes had been more transparent with her, then maybe she wouldnt have reacted as she did. Even so, it didnt come as a surprise that the ancient had had responsbilities and rules to uphold. She looked down, her hands in her lap, fiddling a bit with her fingers. “I’m sorry. I dont think I can help. I cant dream anymore.” She said, shrugging lightly. Would she had wanted to help if she could? Most probably. She had a good heart. Even if it would get herself hurt in the process. “You’d have to make him come here if you want me to talk to him.” She said, frowning at her own words before she looked down.

She grabbed the pendant and looked at it. It didnt feel wise to go against what had been wished, but somehow, she felt that it was necessary. She looked at it, frowning lightly. It had helped her so many times. But how did Lucienne have it? She didnt ask that question as they got up and went back to Mari’s apartment. She had a half cup of tea that was beyond cold now waiting for her by the nightstand. She just laid down in bed with her clothes on, waiting for the raven. When she joined her and explained, Mari nodded. “I’ll try. I dont think he’ll listen. But I’ll try.” She said. Why would he listen to her after all the mean things she said? She wasnt sure, but there was no harm in trying. She put on the pendant before she exhaled deeply. Surely enough, she fell asleep after a while, ending up in the dream world. “Now… the bond?” She reminded herself, looking around before she noticed something by her feet. A long string. Yeah, not sleeping had really taken a toll on creative freedom. She began following it, trying her hardest to stay focused. That was at least until she met the shadow that had been haunting her dreams before. “No… get out of the way!” She ordered it, but instead of obeying; it cut the string and she watched the other half move away. She tried to move but the shadow pushed her back before pointing at her stomach. She shook her head but it stepped closer before it rather roughly stuck it’s hand right in her stomach. Her eyes widened as she felt the pain, but also like something was going horribly wrong. She begged it softly, but then a crying was heard and she felt so hollow. The shadow held a child and began to back away. She looked down and her stomach was gone. She fell to her knees and began to cry softly. “Please help me Aiastes.” She whispered in a heartbroken tone. The shadow was simply walking away, the crying slowly fading out the further they got away. If there was no answer from the ancient would Mari finish her crying before she found the broken string and continued following it.

She knew she was on a time limit, so she wouldnt be wasting her time, even if she was crying most of the way over her loss. It felt so real. And yet eventually she got over it? Or used to it? She didnt know. Arriving at the throne room, she saw the bew stairs, walking over to it to look down. She decided not to think too much of it and went down. The visions were odd and almost scary, so she closed her eyes as she made her way down. When she arrived, everything was so much for her to comprehend that it was like her mind put a filter over it to simplify it. She stayed back, gasping as Aiastes came up from the water. “Geez.” She whispered to herself. She frowned a little, hearing his words but she wouldnt do it just because he told her to. “I am here now. So you might as well talk to me before I’m gone.” She said before she showed the pendant around her neck. She stepped closer, looking a little wary of the water, “What’s that?” She asked rather than trying to figure it out herself.

She stopped as he motioned for it, but his answer sounded like a given. Yeah, it looked like a pond, but what did it do? Why was it here? And why had he been in it? She clearly had a lot of questions but she held onto them for now. He made her walk back up the stairs and back in the throne room, she felt like she could recognize everything once more. His question made her shrug lightly. “My real wish was not to hurt anymore.” She straight up admitted, rather than try to explain herself too much. “Uh…” she chuckled, looking away from him as she maybe was a little embarassed to admit it. “Humans have this really dumb thing where we often say things that we deep down dont mean? Especially when we’re hurt or sad or frustrated.” She explained, though surely he knew this already? “I have this empty pit in my stomach. Ever since I made that stupid wish. -I made a mistake.” She confessed, looking down as she fidled with her fingers. “A big mistake.”

He shook his head and she frowned a little at the confession. Had he really taken her harsh words to heart? She felt bad, looking down, though she let him touch her. He continued to speak and she wasnt sure whst to say. She did want to disprove him in what he said, because to her it felt like such a guess compared to what they had really gotten to experience so far. “You dont really know if I would hate you. You just think so.” She argued, looking up at him with vulnerable eyes. She lifted her hand to place over his. “You talk about love and being a family, but we barely lasted a month.” She said. Yeah, she had thought about it a lot. “-But you wont really even let me love you. You push away whenever I get too close, but you always find a way back whenever you feel it’s safe for you again.” She said, switching between his eyes, wondering if she was hitting spot on. Her voice was calm and kind, she was not trying to corner and confront him. “What’s so unsafe for you about being loved Aiastes?”

“I dont know. I’m just a stupid human compared to you.” She shrugged. But being stupid wouldnt change her mind. The warning was fair. She hadnt thought anything ever was free either way. Maybe kindness? Kindness didnt cost a thing. “I’m sure.” She told the raven. It would have been a good idea to ask the raven for advice or get someone else’s thoughts. And yet she felt that this kind of decision was really only something she could make if she made it up with herself and no one else. She was left alone but not for long.
When the dark shadow appeared, she felt a cold shiver down her spine. But she still corrected her posture, grasping hard at the duvet. “You may not agree with what I’m about to do. Or maybe you dont care. But it’s my turn to be selfish. And do what’s best for me.” She said, looking down as she felt silly. She felt tears form in her eyes, before she lifted her head to look at the eyes that were looking at her. “I wish… I wish that…” she felt her lip tremble before her eyes hardened a little. “I wish that my child will be the son of the Lord of Dreams. That Aiastes will be the father whole and true.” She finally spoke without a tremble in her voice. She just couldnt let him go.

She wasnt sure what she had expected but as the shadow pointed towards her stomach, her eyes widened. The cramping began rather mercilessly and she screamed and cried out in pain. She curled up and wrapped her arms around her stomach, though she couldnt just reach inside of herself and stop the cramping; but she wished that she could. She somehow got to her phone and alerted her parents who came and picked her up. She was taken to a hospital and not more than a few hours later was the child out. Though the sight was rather terrible, making the midwife faint before she woke up horrified and crying. It wasnt a child, it was a shriveled up black mass that maybe once had been a child. Had it stayed within her would it had taken her with it. To be sure was she kept in the hospital and given antibiotics. But she felt empty. Not just in the sense that the wish shadow had given her with her first wish. But as if something was missing, something that couldnt be replaced. One day had she snuck up on the roof of the hospital. Gotten a hold of some cigarettes and some small bottles of alcohol. She wasnt pregnant anymore, so why care? She drank the bottles and not having been drunk in a long while, was it hitting her hard. She started crying again. Though, she was sure she hadnt done anything else but cry these last few days.