For better or for worse [cw]

He didnt even know what to tell Buffy as he came through the door with Saoirse. Well he knew what he really wanted to say, but he thought it was better to wait till Saoirse was in a better state. He placed her down on the bed and crouched down to hold her hand, clutching it tight in his. "I'm not leaving you," he assured her in a soft tone, trying not to seem too distraught even if he felt like crying. He looked to Xander as the nephilim entered. It was only because he knew how good of a healer he was to let him anywhere near Saoirse. It was like his daemonic sense of possession had kicked in and no one would be allowed anywhere near his sister unless he had allowed them first. He let the nephilim tend to her wounds, watching over as he crossed his arms. "Baal did this," he muttered bitterly, closing his eyes for a bit. The anger kicked in and while he thought he needed to be there for Saoirse, he believed that his father had no place near her anymore. Not after this. He waited till Saoirse was stable before he excused himself to go check up on Buffy.
He went to go to the kitchen where Buffy seemed to be pacing around, looking at her with a repressed anger in his eyes, but he was determined to take the upper hand in the situation they had ended up in. "He did this to her. His wretched beast attacked the girl who apparently serves as a living voodoo doll and Saoirse became the target," he said with a vile tone, shaking his head. "He's too dangerous to have around here. Sooner or later he will hurt her directly and you know it," he said, which was maybe harsh words but he was actually rooting to reach her doubt about his father. His incapability to control himself and the chance that he eventually might act out on his own and not just through a summon. Amos was cruel in that way because he never strayed from manipulation if it could give him what he wanted. Well he couldnt do it to his mother but as much as he respected Buffy, he needed this.

//Alyssa out for now//

Xander frowned at Amos' words, but ultimately kept working. If Baal had actually done this, then it was just proof of how he had changed since being away, but he knew that his sister couldn't let him go. It wasn't in her nature to just give up on people, even if they did despicable things. Buffy believed in the best in people, and many in her family had told her that it would be her downfall. Xander could already hear Leona building up an arsenal of valkyries to protect the family.
Saoirse was laying on the bed, whimpering softly as she just looked up at the ceiling. She wanted to say something, she wanted to say that it wasn't her father's fault. It was Haeven who had inflicted this pain on her, but she wondered if she could even speak if she tried. And she tried, making Xander hush her. "Don't talk, your neck is badly injured, I need you to be still," he said, making the trybrid sigh, but ultimately she had to agree. She was tired, but Xander kept her awake, watching how she responded when he moved her neck around. She was whincing in pain, but it seemed like nothing was at least broken. Unwrapping the gauze he got to see the horror, or rather the aftermath of the horror. He had seen many wounded in his life, but this one wasn't with the intent to kill. It was almost as if the hound had used her or whoever it was as a chew toy. "I'll have to stitch you up a bit, but I can't numb the area because of how close it is to your artery," he said after Amos had left. Saoirse whimpered, but she knew that this was a time to show that she was a big girl.
Buffy looked up as Amos entered the kitchen. She was busy moving the broken glass pieces in to the recycling bin, making sure to wrap it in paper as to not cut herself or whoever took out the trash eventually. His words sent chills down her spine, because it had just been an inner worry. But now it was real. Swallowing she looked down, torn between her emotions. Who could ever pick between their child and their soulmate? Buffy knew the answer would be Saoirse, it was something her and Baal had agreed upon - that if one of them changed, Saoirse would be first priority. However Baal hadn't seemed different when he was at home. How he had held her so delicately, how he had made love to her and kissed her. Everything had felt the same, if not better. "I shouldn't have let her leave the house ... I should've let the two of you handle it," she whispered, feeling tears run down her cheeks. She felt selfish for crying, she had no right to cry when it was her daughter in the other room suffering. "I ... I know what a hound bite looks like ... I've seen it on countless seraphim," she admitted, wiping away her tears before looking at Amos. "I feel like the worst mother in all of existence; What mother let's her child get hurt like this?" she asked, not because she knew if Amos had an answer, but perhaps just something to say. She knew she would have to deal with Baal, and in a way, Amos was right. For now it seemed illogical to let him near their daughter, even if he had seemed stable. "You will protect her, right? Now that her parents have failed her," she asked.

He nodded at her whisper in agreement, but he wasnt going to rub it in. Because how could she had foreseen it? She couldnt, and that was the only reason Amos was leaving her out of his crusade to ensure Saoirse's safety. He sighed and looked down, shrugging at her confession. Would she have doubted his words if the bite had been different? Well there always was the possibility that it couldnt have been Baal but the other summoner. But there was no reason for that to even happen, so he wasnt even thinking in those directions. "You're not a bad mother. You put your faith in my father and he was the one who failed you and your daughter," he said in a sure tone, frowning to himself. "I will keep her safe, but you'll have to promise that you will do your part too. Make sure my father wont be able to hurt her again," he said as he shortly glanced at her mark on her wrist. He knew what kind of mark it was. "She needs her mother now more than ever. You need to be strong and do what's needed to be done to keep her safe," he continued seriously, keeping his arms crossed.

Buffy swallowed, because she didn't know if she had the strength to keep Baal away from herself. She was bound to him, she loved him and yet she knew that keeping him away from their daughter right now was what he himself would've wanted. He was always very logical like that, wanting to keep them safe even if it meant suffering alone. "I will do my best, but I can't just erase him from my heart," she spoke. Why was she so weak? Any other person in this world would've seen the evidence right in front of them and never wanting to see the cause of the pain again. But Buffy couldn't do that, she couldn't let go of him, not even if she truly wanted. "I can't break the bond," she whispered, looking at the faint mark on her hand. She felt tears press on, because she loved him so dearly, and yet their daughter's safety came in first priority now. She felt weak. She wasn't strong like Alyssa was, raising a kid on her own, and yet she wasn't alone. "But I'll keep him away from her to the best of my abilities," she promised, her tears running down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around herself. She was worried. She was scared. Never had she felt so alone in this whole wide world, and she knew that Baal could feel that loneliness emit from their bond. Coldness was spreading in her body, but she needed to be strong. That was when she heard Saoirse crying.
Xander was stitching up the bitemarks after cleaning them, and Saoirse was crying loudly as she whimpered each time the needle went through her skin. It was such a tender spot, the wounds so fresh, but Xander knew that it was the optimal time to stitch them together, when they were still raw. It would make for a better healing process, but he also knew how much pain she was in. "It's alright, you're doing great, just a few more," he cooed his niece who was trying to lay still, but her hands twisting and turning from pain. Buffy came in to the room, sitting down on the bed and grabbing her daughter's hand. "Don't you have something relaxing for her?" she pleaded with her brother. Xander looked at his sister with sad eyes, shaking his head no. If Amos had gotten in to the room as well, Saoirse's hand would be reaching for him, just wanting his comfort while she was in pain. "You are doing so good," she whispered to her daughter, leaning down to kiss her forehead, breathing in her scent. Sometimes it felt like she was still that little baby in her arms, but right now Buffy could do nothing to comfort her crying child.

His frown grew deeper as she spoke of not being able to erase him. He thought as much. But a part of him had still held on to some sort of hope, that she would see the sense in breaking herself free from that damned bond. It might have been his wickedness getting to him, wanting his father to suffer like he had made Saoirse suffer. Her promise made him sigh. "You better. I'm not gambling with Saoirse's life and if I have to I will keep him away myself," he said quite angrily, but it wasnt towards Buffy. He heard the crying too, turning to follow after Buffy. He looked at his sister with vulnerable eyes, staying a bit behind while he was composing himself. She needed him so he would be by her side, like he had promised when he told her he wasnt going to leave her. He went to grab her hand, letting her feel that he was there. "She's strong," he said quite confidently to Buffy as he had heard her plea when he entered. He kept looking at Saoirse, knowing how scared she was and how she was hurting. "Almost done," he assured her in a softer tone as he could see Xander's progress in the corner of his eye. Leona entered, having a key made it easy for her to come in. She had brought Tessa along but Connor hadnt been home. "I've texted Connor but I dont know if his phone is on," she said with a sigh before she came over to overlook and see the damage. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight, but she wasnt sure what to believe. "A hound's bite is poisonous to a seraph. Do we know if it's the same for Saoirse?" she asked, because she wasnt too sure. She opened a bag that she had brought along and gave it to Tessa, telling her to prepare a pot of water in the kitchen. "I'll make an antidote, just in case. Those damned beasts were made to kill our kind," she mumbled, running a hand through her hair before she went to join her daughter in the kitchen.

Buffy could understand Amos' anger, but she felt almost numb at this point. What kind of mother was she that she didn't just drop everything to support and protect? She felt like a failure, but she was determined to stay for her daughter, keep her as safe as she could.
Saoirse whimpered, holding on to her mother's and brother's hand, squeezing them when the pain got too much for her. Her hair was slicked back, her forehead covered in sweat. Xander heard his aunt come in, sighing at her words. "There isn't any puss forming, but it could just be a late reaction time," he said as he had wondered that too. However it was more important to stitch her up first and not risk her bleeding out. Saoirse's eyes glanced at the door. Where was Connor? She felt almost an unbearable pain in her chest from him not being there, but at least she had Amos. He kept his promise to her. "But she is burning warm, I can't tell if it's from poison or the amount of blood she has lost," he told his aunt, before she left for the kitchen. It was better to be safe than sorry in this situation.
Buffy held her daughter's hand, murmuring reassuring words to her, but the trybrid was at her wits end. She tried to speak, but all that came out was a hoarse sound, clearly from the amount of pressure the hound had put on her neck and airways. "It's alright, baby, it's alright, we're all going to make sure you get better," she whispered.
Frankly it was some very intense moments going on, but after everything was sewn up, Xander applied a good amount of ointment to each stitch before placing some protective band-aids over them. He then let his aunt give the antidote to Saoirse, before he cleared out the room. Only problem was that Amos refused to leave, so in the end he had to leave the daemon there in the room, much to the displeasure of his aunt. Buffy went out in to the kitchen, putting water on the kettle, however Xander quickly came over and wrapped his arms around his sister, holding her close. They had never really been the touchy-feely siblings, but Xander knew when his sister needed comfort. He held her close, letting her cry.
In the bedroom Saoirse was half asleep or rather half awake as she looked at her brother. She was still holding his hand, not willing to let go for anything in the world. Her eyes glanced over to a picture on her night with Connor on it, as if to ask him non verbally where he was.

"Well we've seen a lot of seraphim fall dead out of nowhere after an encounter such as this one," she remarked with sigh. It hadnt ever been disclosed what symptoms that came from being poisoned by a hellhound bite, but one thing was sure; It was better to be safe than sorry. The valkyrie was only happy that they had found a reliable antidote this time around, she couldnt bear the thought what it would have been like had Saoirse been bitten in a time where they didnt know how to heal it.
Once Saoirse was all stitched up and Xander tried to get everyone out of the room, Amos shook his head, refusing to let go of his sister. It didnt matter what the nephilim believed would be best for her, Amos could feel that him leaving wasnt what he wanted. He sat there by her side, holding her hand with his eyes slightly misty from the emotions inside of him. "I really cant bear to see you be hurt by anyone," he said in a saddened tone but it was true. Hearing her scream in the alley had made him feel like he had also been torn up in some sense. Feeling her fear and pain in the bond. And Connor hadnt showed up? He couldnt begin to describe just how he would yell at the seraph once he got a hold of him. "I know. He should have been here," he mumbled, caressing her hand carefully.

Leona was cleaning off some things that she had used to make the antidote, looking at Buffy as Xander hugged her, frowning a little to herself as she made a small sigh. It seemed to be something more difficult than she could imagine and she didnt want her niece to feel as if she was being interrogated. "Saoirse will be fine. Xander has taken good care of her. But my only worry is, will you be?" she asked, not wanting to put a lid over everything and let it be forgotten.

Saoirse knew how bad he felt, she knew how it had been to watch her fall down like that, to hear her scream in pain. Her hand gave his a squeeze, letting him know that she at least was happy that he was there for her. Her eyes watered, the pain medication was helping a bit, and combined with the antidote she didn't feel like whimpering anymore. As she watched him, her eyes turned more vulnerable, pulling lightly at his hand. Saoirse needed him now more than ever, and she wanted the two of them to get some time to relax. Looking at the bed she hoped he could understand what she wanted him to do. She wanted him to crawl under the covers with her, just hold her close and reassure her that the beast wasn't there. That he was protecting her. But also to reassure him that she wasn't getting attacked anymore, that she was safe in his arms. "Aa-m-mos," she pleaded in a hoarse voice, her vocal chords would take some time to heal from screaming and the brutal attack on her neck. Was it bad that she wanted his comfort? That she felt like she wouldn't ever be comfortable unless he was in bed right next to her?
If he did end up joining her, she moved around slightly, her body aching from tensing as well as fighting whatever was in her system. She looked at him, holding his hand in her own, even entangling them slightly - or at least as much as her finger strength allowed her to. She didn't know why, but she smiled softly at him, before finally closing her eyes to get some sleep.

Saoirse getting hurt was the worst possible outcome of it all, and if Amos was right, then she didn't know how to feel about it all. She had put her daughter in danger by allowing Baal to come home. Even if it was just to visit, it had ended in this brutal attack, and she was just crying as Xander held her. It wasn't nice feeling like the cause for her daughter's pain. She somehow managed to pull herself together, letting go of her brother, and he quickly took the hint, giving Buffy some sort of distance. Her aunt spoke, and she shrugged lightly at the question, forcing on a sad smile, as a few rogue tears escaped down her cheeks. "I guess I don't know," she confessed. She couldn't lie to her family like this, she couldn't pretend like nothing was wrong. But frankly she couldn't even begin to tell what had really happened, because that meant her whole family would be out on a daemon hunt for Baal. Even if Saoirse was only part seraphim, then seraphim law was applied to her - especially because of her lineage. "I just ... I just think I need some fresh air," she confessed, wiping a few tears away from her face. "Amos will keep an eye on Saoirse," she said, having full trust in the daemon by now. He had shown nothing but relentless strength today, where Buffy had felt so weak. "I could really use mom right now," she mumbled. Sometimes she would go out to the gravesite of her mother, just sit and talk to her, even though she knew she was off in another plane and aiding Verity. Sometimes just talking it out without someone judging or talking back was a good way for her to cope. But the trip out to the gravesite at this time of day wasn't optimal, especially not with the weather not really being suited for a fenix. She shrugged again, clearly not knowing what to do. The food she had cooked was all done and ready, but she had lost all of her appetite, and with Saoirse's throat all stitched up, she didn't think her daughter wanted to eat right now.

Now that things were calming down, it did feel like they could finally breathe. He felt her pull at his hand and at first he either wasnt fully there to comprehend the meaning or understand what she meant, but eventually he did crawl into bed with her. He pulled her close, not really caring that he was still quite fully clothed, he just wanted to be close to her. She had been attacked and he wanted to ensure her that he was protecting her now. "Nothing like this will ever happen again if I can stop it. I promise you that," he said in a lowered tone, kissing her forehead a few times before looked at her. He just wanted to be sure she had heard his words, before he'd pull her back in and hum a small melody that he remembered from his childhood. He didnt remember it fully, but seemed to just make out the rest as he went. He wasnt going to sleep anytime soon, he would just stay by her side and let her rest peacefully.

Buffy said goodbye to her family in the doorway, going in to briefly check up on Amos and Saoirse. Both looked to be sleeping, so she just closed the door, letting them get their rest. She however couldn't find any of that, she needed to go out and breathe in fresh air from the outside. She grabbed her coat, putting it on along with some mittens and a hat, then her shoes and her keys and phone. Then she went out. That was when she heard her phone buzz, looking at the screen as she felt her heart sink. He wanted to see her. Why now? She thought he was on the run seeing as he wasn't contacting her.
She didn't respond to the text, but just headed that way which he had sent the directions for. It felt so disconnected. Everything in her mind was falling apart, and Amos' words rang in her ears. She needed to be the mother that Saoirse deserved, she needed to protect her daughter from her true love; what had her life become? She felt lost, but eventually found herself in the small woods not far from their house, she could even spot the smoke coming from their chimney if the trees were aligned correctly. She stood there, waiting for him to appear as she wrapped her arms around herself.

Buffy wasn't ready. She wasn't prepared to see him and yet she had to. She stopped as she heard a noise, turning around to see him. Her Belial. She felt her eyes water, because she wanted to run to him. Wrap her arms around him, tell him that she would work through this, that she couldn't handle if he left her now. He admitted hurting their daughter, and she looked down, not sure how she felt about it all. She was angry that things had gotten this far, she was frustrated that she couldn't just be angry with him. She couldn't even blame him, she felt like it was her fault. Remaining silent she walked to him, wrapping her arms around him, because she couldn't do anything else. "I-I can't break our bond," she whispered in a weak voice. She was so close to crying again, emotions in her throat making it hard for her to breathe. "I'm the worst mother in the world," she finally said, crying as she hid away her face. She was selfish, wasn't she? She couldn't even leave the man that had hurt her only daughter. She hoped he would hold her, but she could understand if he didn't. Part of her wanted to know what had happened. She wondered if Amos' words about a voodoo doll was right, or it was at least how he had coined it. "Did you attack her directly? Did you give the order?" she just needed to know. She needed to know if this had been with intention to hurt their daughter.

For some reason she found comfort in the fact that he hadn't actively been the one to hurt their daughter. Things weren't always black and white, and in all of this she found things to have too much color to even figure out what was right or wrong anymore. He held her, which made her feel guilty, but how could she care about guilt when this man was her whole life? He held her heart, he had the power to make her strong, and she felt so weak without him. His hands cupped her face, and she looked at him as he told her to say what was on her mind, even if she had to yell it. It made her shake her head, placing her hands over his, feeling his warmth through the mittens. "I don't want to yell at you," she whispered. She wasn't angry with him, she was scared that what they had might break apart. She was terrified that their daughter would come to hold a grudge against him. "Saoirse is stable ... She's sleeping, but she has so many stitches," she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks again. Her voice broke at the end of her sentence, feeling like she could still hear her daughter cry in pain. There was nothing worse in this life than hearing one's child in pain. "Amos wants me to keep you away from her; But you're her father, how do I have any right to do this?" she whispered, shaking her head as she looked up at him. She couldn't keep Baal away if he truly wanted to see his daughter, she had no strength in her to deny him that.
"I guess I wish things were easier, that what we felt before the kids got home would've lasted longer ... I was starting to feel whole again, but this right now is tearing me apart once more," she said, blinking a few times to get control over her tear-canals, even though they didn't seem to want to cooperate. "I love you, Belial, I love you more than anyone and I know that our love can conquer all ... I'm just scared that you'll lose yourself and lose sight of the love we have," she finally said. If he was really as out of control as he implied he was, then what was in their future? She couldn't be happy without him, and there was no way that she would ever find another love like this. She was his and he was hers, and that was just how the universe worked.

How could he say that? He was a part of this family as well, he had every right that she had. But she understood what he meant, she just didn't like the implications of his words. As he mentioned his fears, she nodded, feeling her eyes water once more - or had they ever stopped? But feeling his lips against her own did soothe her, just not how the kiss felt. He was leaving again, and she could barely handle herself. "I'm not strong enough without you," she pleaded, and it was true. She had pretended, she had fought and tried everything to keep going, but it was only feeling how things were now that he was back that she realized she hadn't been living; She had been surviving. "Don't leave ... I-I can't have our family break up now when we need to stick together," she said. She knew Alyssa would be against this, but why could they not try another approach? If their work at the temple hadn't been good enough, why not try something else. "Come home with me, Belial, come home and tend to your daughter; Help her through this pain, help her understand that you didn't do this on purpose," she pleaded, tears streaming down her eyes. Couldn't he see that being apart was worse?

Was she too naïve? Was she really so helplessly in love that she couldn't see past her own needs anymore? She shook her head. It wasn't too dangerous, not if they worked through it. Buffy had no knowledge about daemon artifacts or anything like it for that matter, but she wanted to at least seem like she could do something. "You didn't harm her on purpose," she argued, because she couldn't believe that he would do that. She could not for one second believe that he wasn't having guilty thoughts and wanting to redeem himself.
"Who ever is after you is going to come for us too eventually," she said, being quite cynical which was unlike her, but she knew she was being honest. She could see how the death of this Haeven had affected him, but she could do very little to soothe that pain. She would be there for him, there was no question and he could pretend all he wanted that this was for their own safety, but Buffy would stand no chance if Baal was gone and she was left to defend herself and Saoirse. "But ... I want us to negotiate something with Amos; That he takes Saoirse with him for a while, that she gets to be safe," she said. It was a heavy thing for her to say, but it had to be said. The words were hard on her, but she also knew it was the only way to keep everything relatively normal. "Please, Belial, I'm begging you; I can't survive being apart from you again," she whispered, clearly at her wits end.

Buffy didn't know what to reply. Of course Saoirse wouldn't understand, but would she understand if her father left her after hurting her? Would she ever come to understand that this had been an accident, that her father loved her and missed her? She just felt heartbroken to think about those questions, looking up at him with tearful eyes. "I know it's not going to be easy, but doing what is right isn't hiding away from your family. It isn't right that we are going to be apart, because I know it makes the both of us vulnerable," she said. Couldn't he see it from her side? They had tried his solution, they had given it over half a year at this point, why couldn't they try something else? "Belial, I-" but her words were cut short as a faint gasp released from her lips and her body fell limb.

Behind the fenix, not far from them, a daemoness stood, her hand holding a delicate light orb in her hands. "Wow, I've never seen a soul this pure," Raziela said with a small snicker. If Baal tried coming closer she would just take a firmer grip around the soul, showing she wasn't afraid to destroy it and never let it return to another life again. She clicked her tongue, shaking her head. "Don't worry, you know her body won't decay unless the soul is destroyed or consumed," she chuckled, she looked around at the forest, scoffing softly. What was this? Some teenage novel? "I know what you and your sister did to my brother ... I know it was you who killed him," she said, her eyes glinting with madness.
"Come on, don't give me that look; Besides, I've figured out a way to bring him back - And the answer is inside your chest," she chuckled. "Now, I know you don't want your little fenix to lose her existence, so how about we take a little trip to the Abyssus, huh?" she said with her eyes narrowed. "Raz, I really don't like this plan," a cambion said not far from them, his body rather lanky and the bags under his eyes extremely visible. "Can't we just ... Let this go?" he asked, his eyes darting to the summoner, afraid he was going to attack him for just being there.

Raziela just scoffed at her brother. Jasper had never been one to want to do anything with his life it seemed. He didn't even have a position in the order he was assigned to, such a failure. As he spoke about giving Buffy her soul back she hummed, turning the light orb in her hand. "She'll get it back when we're done," she said with a certain smile. She was cunning, some would even say more cruel than Simeon, but she had always looked up to her brother, wanting to make him proud.
His words about the Abyssus made her shake her head, because he clearly hadn't understood yet. "The artifact is a combination of two ancient key ... One part holds the key to the Ethereal Reach; The other to the Abyssus," she said, looking at Buffy's soul with a small frown on her face. "But it seems as if you have shared it with her, how sweet of you," she chuckled before looking rather seriously at Baal. "Open the portal," she said in a demanding tone. She knew he was capable of doing it, and with the artifact broken neatly in half, he should have no trouble accessing the right key inside of him, because it was the only key. Jasper walked closer to his sister, leaning in to her ear. "Are you sure about this, Raz? I mean, Simeon is gone, we have to move on from it," he said, but his sister would have none of it. "Don't worry, my brother will keep her soul here in the living world until we are done," she said, handing the orb to the cambion as if it had no more value than a bag of wheat. Jasper took the orb, his eyes pained as he didn't like this.