Stay out of it

She knew, but she would appreicate the compliment regardless. “I could also just take it off?” She chuckled though she wouldnt. She had promised to be nice. So she was holding back. Which might’ve been a first. He was right that she had always known. But could that stop her from wanting more? “Please Rhys.” She lifted a hand to shush him, even if he wasnt going to say anything. “Maybe I fell in love with you? Maybe I just cant be without you anymore?” She said still holding her finger on his lips, to then move it down, grab his jaw. “Just like you cant be without me once that addiction craving comes back to loom over your head?” She chuckled, moving closer, even if it sent shivers of warning down her spine. Like he was dangerous and yet never really had hurt her.

“People talk.” Elaine said in a bored tone, looking away quite dramatically. Her eyes turned back to his and she smiled. Of course she couldnt know everything. But was it wrong that she kept tabs on him? It was like she had to be assured all the time. And since he avoided her, chabged his number, what else could she do? He made it sound like she was evil. “Oh Rhys. I love it with you say my name.” She giggled, her hand caressing his jaw to move down to his neck. “I’m a simple girl. I like simple things.” She shrugged, running a nail down the skin of his neck. Even if he instilled her worst fears on her, she wouldnt say it was him she was scared of. And besides, when you had been around him as much as she had at times, the bodily reaction was almost like a high, a thrill. “I want what I’ve wanted since you found me in that bar years ago; you.” - “Is that too much to ask?”

He could never give her that? She had to sigh in annoyance. She didnt believe that. But then he answered her question and grabbed her hand and it was like he was so mean right now. For what reason? Her eyes welled up and she looked at him with a pout. Trying to figure him out. And then the paranoia kicked in. “You’ve found someone else? Who?” She just asked. There couldnt be any other reason. Even if it didnt make sense. He had said that no one would ever want him. He had said that!

He turned the question on her and she felt a tear run down her cheek. He had to be lying. There was someone. It was mere rumors and informants that couldnt figure out how to act as a simple shadow, but it was a sinking feeling in her gut. “What do you mean? I do want you Rhys.” She objected, lifting her hands to cup his face.
She looked at him, switching between his eyes. “You just refuse to believe me. You only believe me when you’re on drugs.” She said, frowning a little, tears still running down her cheeks. She scoffed and looked down, shaking her head. “I dont like you when you’re sober.” She said, pulling away from him, moving over to a window to grab her pack of cigarettes and lighter, looking at him with her makeup all ruined now by tears.

“Because you’re much sweeter. You dont even look at me right now!” She retaliated a little frustrated. He shook his head at her and it agitated her further. “You’re lying. You’re fucking lying!” She whimpered, gritting her teeth, looking away from him. “But it doesnt matter now right? You’ll just believe whatever you want to. And then when you need me again, you’ll come crawling.” She said, drying her eyes before she sighed, not crying any longer as her expression just turned neutral; like she had never cried in the first place.

“You’re an addict. You will come back.” She said with a roll of her eyes. She didnt care whether he felt like he was turning his life around or whatever bullshit he was telling himself. “Whatever Rhys. At some point you’ll realize it’s just you and me.” She said sourly. That was how she saw things. What she chose to believe even if they were the worst for each other. “If you’re seeing someone else.. at least have the balls to tell him or her the truth. The shit you only say when you’re high as a kite.” She spat. She was the crazy one though. And she thought she was in love with him, why would she really let him go? Because he told her to? He was scary and frigtening but she had come to crave it. No threat was too threatening. No warning was too serious. Not to her.

She rolled her eyes at him. If this was how he was going to be then she wouldnt even want him here. He was boring and mean! “See you Rhys.” She sighed, crossing her arms, pouting like an annoyed little child. She leaned her head back against the window, grumbling a few foul words.

Emily had woken up eventually, gone to the mirror to see that her scar was gnarlier than ever from the irritation. She had whined in surprise and covered it with her hand before backing away. She couldnt go anywhere looking like that! Completely discouraged to do anything, she just went back in bed to hide away all day if she could.

Emily didnt show and she didnt even know how to excuse it. Sorry my gashing neck wound will soak through any shirt so I’d rather not go out? That sounded even worse in her head, so of course she wouldnt text that. If she was sick? Wouldnt he just come over to check on her still? In her frustration and agitation she just left her phone and hid under her blankets. The blood had dried up, creating a brown disgusting colour. The days came and went. She made the days pass with a tv show and her comfort food, which was little pieces of rotten brain, like a little snack bowl. She realized rather quick that she was running out of food. The weekend approached and she decided to get up and get dressed. Pack the wound in the strongest bandage and hope it wouldnt leak. She grabbed her phone to see his message. She saw all the other messages too. Her heart sank.

[Emily:] I’m sorry, I’m not feeling too well. I’d rather just stay home.

She felt bad. She was ruining things for herself werent she?

She was ready to head out the door when the message chimed in. Looking at her phone she smiled faintly but then she looked sad. The picture made her happy because it was the cat and it was safe and alive. But she had missed it, missed when he had picked it up and how it had settled in. It looked so happier, even without an eye. But she could imagine the headaches it had gotten from that. Probably made it so angry at the time for no reason.

His next message caught her a little off guard because that wasnt how things were from her perspective. It had nothing to do with him but she didnt want to see him while she was like this. That was the truth. She didnt even know what to type. The last message followed and she closed her front door just as Dave was walking up the stairs, going back to her bed, eyes on the phone the whole time.

[Emily:] I’ve been sick. That’s all there is to it. I feel horrible and I dont want to go out?
[Emily:] You can check up with Mortimer if you dont believe me.

This didnt feel good. She was feeling horrible now but not for the reason she was texting out. Her being defensive was probably not bettering the situation in any regard. But frankly she also felt a little pushed up into a corner. One she had formed herself but still didnt enjoy.

She watched as he typed, but it was like seeing it and not knowing made everything worse. Was it going to be a long message? Did he not believe her after all? And then it disappeared. She just stared at her screen, her lip quivering lightly but then she shook her head. No, he was the one being unreasonable here! Making everything about himself! She wouldnt have it if he was going to get back at her for something she had no control over. At least make sure he got a piece of her mind! But then the message ticked in and it felt so flat. And her chest was hurting and she just felt worse. Throwing her phone on the bed she just went out to shop. When she got back she didnt check. Putting away the stuff, she checked the bandage that had leaked. Well, if he wanted to see her so bad, then maybe it was best that he saw the truth. She grabbed her phone and texted for him to come over, regardless of what he might have written in the meantime, if anything at all. She went to the bathroom and unwrapped her sore neck, gritting her teeth as the bandage was stuck into the gnarly mess. Why couldnt the ceremonial dude have done it with a better cut and a sharper knife?! She picked up cotton pieces and jammed them in the wound before wrapping it all up, even if it was painful. Panting and heaving she managed to make a tight wrap that allowed her to breathe. Then she went to put on a shirt, a black thick turtleneck that she put on. Looking over at the bed she just flipped the blood stained duvet and pillows, because she had no time to think of that now. And then she sat down. With a deep sigh. And a soft groan as her neck definitely was irritated like a whole lot.

She just sat there waiting, unsure what to do, beside trying to focus on something so she wouldnt scratch her neck. When the bell rang, she went and opened the door to see him. She probably didnt look sick at all, beside the usual, and she did look maybe a little guilty. “Come in.” She said, opening the door for him. She felt a little restless, partly because she hadnt seen him in a week that dawned on her now and then the itching neck. She would probably have to go get fixed by the clergy that took care of her but that was a headache for tomorrow. She went to her kitchen to put on the kettle even if she didnt really drink tea. She was just trying to keep her hands busy.

She wasnt really looking at him but she was also a little out of herself. She had asked him to come over but was she really ready? The bandages should be holding for however long he would be here, but she still worried. He took the kettle from her hand and placed it for her, looking at him before he cupped her face. She had missed his touch, leaning into it and closing her eyes. She felt lile she could cry. “I just… I…” she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him. “I just really like you.” She spoke in a lowered tone, her voice breaking up as she looked at him. That wasnt a lie. She could never look him in the eyes and say it if it wasnt true. “But I’m just so wrong. In so many ways.” This part she whispered, or even barely like the words wouldnt come out. It hurt to say.