Don't do it like this | Kurtis

She shrugged at his statement. She wasn't sure where she was supposed to be on the journey, the doctors had given her a vague prognosis and they had otherwise kept her pretty much in the dark. "They are treating me alright .. although I wouldn't say nice would be in that list," she muttered, knowing that he would hear whatever she said regardless of how low she was talking. "They won't really say much to me .. mostly just leave me alone unless I'm being fed or have one of those classes they put me in," she thought out loud. Sure the nurses were alright, but they were also sometimes very condescending. Whether it was because of her age or her race she wasn't sure. Sighing she looked to Eden, her eyes not showing how she felt about him or any of this. "I know you put me here to handle me because you didn't want to deal with your sister's mistake," she said quite seriously, "but they can't teach me like you can." She got up from her seat, walking over to the window, picking up his packet of cigarettes. She nonverbally asked if she could snag one and if it was a yes she took one. Smelling it felt good. They didn't allow anything like this here, and she had found herself long for the taste and smell of tobacco. Was that her subconscious reminding her of Kurtis? Perhaps. She placed the bud between her lips and lit it, inhaling from it only to breathe out a sigh of relief.

She did want to get out of here, but she shrugged at his question, "it seems like you don't want me around to be reminded," she just said dryly, continuing to just take smaller drags of the cigarette. She was really enjoying the feeling of smoke in her lungs, the nicotine that rushed through her bloodstream. He said he had a lot on his mind and she had to scoff, "sure," she didn't quite believe him, but she had no reason to. He hadn't really been of much help. To be fair the only good thing he had done was keep away from her. Pushing the smoke out from her lungs, she looked out at the view, not really emoting much.
"I'm not asking you to be like a father figure to me, fuck no," she scoffed taking another drag, ashing out of the window, not really caring what flowers it might hit down below. "But you people changed me forever .. and I derserve some sort of mentor, if not you then someone who's capable and not this shitty place," she spoke quite bluntly.

"Do I strike you as some blood maniac?" She asked, shaking her head no. She hated blood. It had been what ruined her relationship with Kurtis. Like hell she would ever bite anyone again. "I know what my bite does to people .. I don't want to put anyone through that again," she shook her head no. Finishing her cigarette, she snuffed it out against the side of the window, rolling the bud between her fingers. "I want to go back .. I want to try and have a life where I'm not just locked in this place," she said rather seriously.
Looking out at the world from the window she felt nervous and scared to go back. But she also longed for normality. For her friends and her mother. "But a few vials won't do .. I need access to the good shit," she said turning to look at Eden. He was a business man, right? At least his face looked as stern as someone sucking on a lemon. "I'll behave, stay out of sight if that's what you want, but I won't be isolated alright, " she said, naming some of her needs and wants, "I want to go back to school, I want to be able to see my mother and I want to try and live as normally as I can."

Zaira knew that this wasn't going to be easy, but being stuck here wasn't helping her. They barely taught her anything anyways. The mention of her apartment - or rather former apartment - made her feel a stone in her chest. She hummed, just agreeing to what Eden listed. She wasn't interested in getting close to the vampyre. She just wanted to figure herself out. "That's a deal then," she said, reaching her hand forward, looking at him straight in the eyes. She meant this, so she hoped he would help her to the extent he had listed. Them agreeing felt good. Though she had a feeling that a lot of things had changed back in Churchill.

It had all happened so fast. Eden had made someone pack up what small belongings she did have, and getting her phone back felt like such a relief. Of course the battery was dead, but she had it, and that meant communicating freely with whoever she wanted to. She was soon enough set up in a room in the mansion. She had stumbled upon a few vampyres here, but none of them seemed even vaguely interested in her, so she just let them be. One thing she did wonder was where Romeo was, but it wasn't like she saw much of Eden either.
She had called Abel, told her where she was staying, and urged him to come visit if he had the chance.

She was sitting in the windowsill, the window wide open as she had one leg outside. She couldn't die, right? So she wasn't too worried about being safe. Besides her and Kurtis had climbed out on his roof more than one time when they were being together. She was looking at the vials in front of her, poking them a little, playing with them even. The supplier had given her a small selection for her to find what she liked. The knock made her hum, "come in," she spoke out loud, looking at the vials still. Each had a very simple sticker on them indicating what was in them. They were both seraph. She had insisted that she didn't want to taste seraph ever again, but the distributor had insisted stating it was good. However she hadn't opened it. She didn't want to tempt fate.
She turned her head, seeing it was Eden made her frown in surprise. "Hi," she said, feeling almost estranged as she looked at him. Maybe it was those blue-green eyes that still creeped her out. She guessed he wasn't there for a chitchat, so instead of boring both of them with smalltalk she just went straight ahead. She spoke of the therapist she was seeing, telling him everything basically and how they planned to change her change into something positive. Not that she could find anything positive right now. "He wants you to join in one of my appointments,
but don't worry I told him you didn't have time," she just shrugged. It was clear Zaira was used to taking care of herself. She was extremely independent, and even the workers here had figured that quite quickly. She wanted to wash her own clothes, make her own bed, cook her own food. Nothing was going to change her need to keep busy. No she needed to do something. She had picked up smoking as well, but she only did it out of boredom, though she only thought that because the addiction wasn't something she had realized yet.
"He did say that I could start back at school next week, so that's more progress than the time I spent in that hellhole," she muttered, grabbing the vials and handing them to him, "I don't ask of much, but would you take these off my hand?" She didn't even look at them. She could remember the sweet and warm taste of Jeremy's blood. Risking her progress just to try those vials wasn't worth it.

"I said you didn't have time," she just said, looking out the window. No, he wasn't going to turn this agreement around. She could do this fine on her own until he had real time for her. The last thing she needed was to be disappointed by another man. And even if that wouldn't be the case, just like the blood, she wouldn't risk it.
Speaking of the blood she saw Eden's surprise, "yeah well he just placed them in there," she said, shrugging as she couldn't quite recall her asking for it. Perhaps it was just an elaborate prank? Maybe it was payback from the universe after what she had done to Jeremy. She had tried to text the nephilim, telling him that she was coming back to school soon and if they could maybe hang out - albeit supervised, cause she didn't trust herself.
Eden's question brought her back to reality, humming softly as if she hadn't gone off to some far off place in her head. "I don't know, it all tastes the same .. the only blood I've ever liked has come out of the people I care about," she scoffed. She felt like a monster for that. What kind of sick person was she now after her change? "But of course I can't drink from a live donor because of my recovery, sooo," yeah he could probably guess why. She breathed out in a heavy sigh shaking her head a little. It was a lot harder than it looked. Sometimes one of the servant would walk by and she could hear their blood pumping in their veins. Just thinking about it made her mouth feel dry.
"I know it all comes very natural to you, but to me it's like navigating a maze," she confessed. So far she was doing fine, but what if she lost herself and broke her promise to Eden as soon as she went to school? "Like I'm given the general idea of the map, but I keep reaching dead-ends that have me turn around and start again." It was a pretty good analogy, or at least she thought so. Zaira was a very smart young woman, perhaps not as well read and studied as Romeo, but she had a certain wit about her. A streetsmart attitude if you will.
She looked out the window again, biting the inside of her cheek, playing a game she had made up called 'try not to bite a chunk off', which so far had been hard for her. The sun outside was warm, she could feel it on her leg and it was such a welcoming feeling. She had always loved the sun, even when she had gotten sunburnt as a kid. At least she didn't have to hide in the shadows like a real vampyre. "Would you change yourself .. be a mortal .. if you had the chance?" She asked a rather genuine question. Perhaps because she wondered if vampyres longed for more than just shadows and blood. Though of course they would have to give up on their immortality.

"I don't-" she stopped herself, taking a deep breath to not sound angry, but she probably sounded mad anyways, "I don't want to drink from anyone ever again." She knew what she had done to Jeremy. She felt the guilt in her just thinking about it and everyone seemed to just brush it off. She would continue with the vials forever, even if she hated it. Anger was an emotion she had felt a lot of lately, but it was mostly towards herself and the circumstances she found herself in.
Eden tried, she had to hand it to him, but right now she couldnt find any solace in it. Besides she wasn't a vampyre. Even the vampyres at that facility had given her the sideeye. Yeah she knew what they had tried to whisper around her; tainted blood, they would call her, unclean and a disgrace. It didn't matter. But somehow she couldn't shake the feeling that nobody seemed to like her, and she knew that Eden wouldn't even come near her if this hadn't been his sister's mess.
Her question had been blunt, perhaps even what one might call rude. However he seemed to join her and she took the cigarette as it was offered to her. She knew she had her own pack, but in all honesty she didn't feel like getting up and getting it. She borrowed his light as well, inhaling from the bud as he spoke. A slight frown appeared on her brow at the mention of Romeo. "I gotta be honest with you, when I first heard about you and him I was pretty judgemental," she shrugged, not afraid to admit it, "though not because of what you are or because of the gay thing - that's yiur business." The last thing Zaira was was bigoted. Sure she had perhaps been attracted to a girl once in a while, but she always seemed to end up with guys. Besides she didn't really want to define herself.
"I guess I worried that you would somehow help in making Kurtis' life miserable," she admitted, scratching her lower lip with the nail on her thumb holding the cigarette before inhaling from it once more. She wasn't going to was the tobacco, that was for sure. "Instead you two made my life miserable instead," she scoffed, feeling like all of this could be traced back to Romeo and Eden somehow. They probably didn't even feel remorseful about it, but she didn't need their pity.

Shaking her head no she felt like it wouldn't solve anything to just yell at the ashes. It was ashes! It didn't have feelings or emotions and it certainly couldn't give her a reaction. She let him lecture her, mostly because she was tired of having to defend her actions. He just didn't get it. He had lived his whole life a vampyre, knowing what he was and how to cope with it. Everything was still new and full of changes even still. "So you're saying I'm not allowed to think of how happy my life would've been if none of this had happened?" She scoffed. Tough luck. She was going to sulk over this for quite a while even if he was already over it. It didn't really matter what he thought, did it?
Watching him get up she sighed at his reminder, waving her hand at him until he had left the room. She was left alone, smoking the rest bit of her cigarette before she snuffed it out in the same manner of which Eden had done it. Swinging her other leg out of the window she jumped down. Her room was fairly high up, but being what she was now had its perks; one of them being able to jump out of her window if she so wished. Another? She could go for a walk in the sunshine.
Picking her phone out of her pocket, she moved over to the garden, calling up Abel, hoping to hear something new.

Hearing Abel's voice was one of those familiar things that just made her smile. She felt almost giddy at the thought of them being in the same country. She told him a bit about what had happened and how she had settled in to the Parish estate, still waiting to figure out her living situation. "Do you know what happened to my stuff?" She asked, hoping that Kurtis hadn't just dumped her shit on the sidewalk after she had left. She wasn't even sure if he still had the apartment. "I mean, I had some pretty cool outfit pieces that I really liked, so I was sorta hoping that I could get them back," she shrugged.
However now came perhaps the hardest part of their conversation. "Have you talked to Kurtis yet?" She asked, feeling worried to even ask. She knew how self-destructive the lycan could truly be, and she hated that she was one of the reasons why he might not be doing good. She still cared about him. Hell she wouldn't admit to loving him right now, but deep down she knew that he was really just the one for her. But perhaps now she had let him become the one that got away.

She thanked Abel for wanting to figure it out. She hadn't heard anything from her mother who sounded sad to hear that the two had split. It wasn't really Zaira's choice, hell he hadn't even formally broken up with her, but he seemed to have moved on. She couldn't blame him for not loving a monster, right? He deserved better than what she had given him, but that didn't take away from the fact that she missed him. Sometimes when it was really early in the morning and she was just about to wake up, it was like she could still imagine his face close to hers. However when she reached for him, he wasn't there. It was still a tough blow to take, and also the reason why as of late she wasn't fond of sleeping. Her nightmares had been ravishing her, and with her new self she didn't really need sleep anyways.
The conversation shifted and Abel disclosed that he hadn't found him, but that there were traces of life at least. She sighed, rubbing her cheek as she moved through the garden. Something was awfully wrong and she knew it, but what could she do? Go out and look for him, surely, but she wasn't really ready to have him yell at her or act out in anger. She still remembered him as the sweet side of him she had gotten to know. "I knew about the firm bit from his mother's unpleasant visit," she hummed, nodding as she thought it through. It was so clear that the lycan needed help, he was screaming it out through his actions, but if he couldn't be found then what good was it? "But if there's one thing I know for sure, then it's that word travels fast," she said, biting the inside of her cheek again as she knew she had to be careful about this.
"Can you spread the rumor that I'm back in town?" she asked. Abel was the only one to know besides Jeremy of course. "Even his drunken self would try and find me .. I know him that well at least," she sighed shaking her head as she couldn't believe she was going to ask the next bit. "Will you go out with me, Abel? Nightclubs, shitty bars, whatever - Just so that I'm seen?" It wasn't ideal, but they had to draw him out if he didn't want to be found.

"If he shows up?" she replied his question, humming as she moved some gravel with her shoe, hearing the rattling of small stones against small stones beneath her feet. It was still strange how much and clearly she could hear everything. "I guess we'll find out," she wasn't looking for a fight or a confrontation. Well perhaps more the latter at least. But she just wanted to see him, if only a glimpse. She sighed softly, scratching her hair up, making it go all over the place because of her curls. "Am I a bad person for wanting to see him?" she asked. She just didn't feel like she had gotten any closure, and perhaps seeing him with someone else would just remind her where she was. Maybe she was looking for a way to hurt herself a bit? Just to poke a hot rod into her chest to make herself feel bad because she felt like she deserved it? Most probably yes. Looking up she saw the servant approaching with a vial. They were on a strict schedule to make sure she had enough blood in her at all times. She didn't hate them for it, but she felt a bit like being force fed sometimes.
"How about tomorrow night? You can come pick me up and we'll go together?" she suggested, smiling a little to herself, "and we can catch up a bit before hand, yeah?" With that she knew she had to hang up and focus on the tasks she now had as a half vampyre.

The next evening rolled around faster than she had thought. She had tried on some different outfits but had ended on something that felt more casual and comfortable than actually her dressing up. It was a black crop top with short sleeves, over it an arrangement of different silver colored jewelry because she couldn't let go of her tacky style. However between all the silver there was one golden necklace - the one Kurtis had given her that one time. She didn't know why she kept wearing it. Perhaps because it reminded her of home, or rather the home she had had with him. Moving down she was wearing fishnet stockings under a pair of black jean shorts. Around her waist she had wrapped a red plaid shirt, just in case she needed to cover up a bit. On her feet she was wearing some neat combat boots, or at least the stylish kind you could find at any mall.
She adjusted her hair, downing another vial just to be safe as she was going to be around a lot of mortals tonight. She even packed a few vials, just for safety, in her shoulder bag. Moving down the stairs of the mansion, she knew the staff was looking at her. Probably wondering what to do about her, but she was set on going out, and she didn't care if they told Eden. He wasn't holding her prisoner. Besides one night out after months of isolation could only do her good, right?
Outside she just went down the small length until she reached the gate. Waiting outside she looked at her phone, hoping that Abel would come by soon.

Seeing Abel she could hardly contain herself. It was a familiar face, and as he got closer she wondered if she looked the same to him. She surely would, right? "Can I like .. hug you?" She asked. Of course they had talked about this in length over the phone, but a small part of her worried that of course he didn't want anything to do with her. However if he agreed she would go over, wrap her arms around him and press him close. If it wasn't because she had put a little effort into her makeup, she might've cried a bit. However it was already late. "It's so good to see you," she whispered, pressing her face into his shoulder before she realized. "Wow, A, you got really tall!" She let go, but not really, just looking at him at arms length. That growth spurt had really come in now, huh? Abel used to be the smallest of the bunch, perhaps only a little bit taller than Zaira, but now he felt bigger. Sure he was still himself, his face was the same but perhaps a more well defined jaw. "You look good too," she returned the compliment, smiling at him, feeling her cheeks hurt as she hadn't smiled like this in a good while.
Of course she could smell his blood, or at least hear it pumping around his system when they were standing close. But lucky for her he didn't smell like a seraph. She could handle herself pretty well around all the other races. Seraphs were still a struggle. "Is that our ride?" She asked, clearly not bothered by the fact it was a bike. No, she had missed the simplicity, and she was kinda fed up about being driven everywhere in a cart. If he said yes she would chuckle, moving out of their embrace to go to the bike. He would get on first, and she would stand on the rods poking out the back wheel on either side. She wasn't too scared of falling off, but she did hang onto Abel's shoulders.
Arriving at their destination, the placed Abel's bike somewhere a little safer, just so it wouldn't get stolen. Locking it up if he wanted that as well. Then she reached down, taking his hand in her own, just happy to have one of her friends here with her. "Thank you for doing this," she muttered, leaning her head on his shoulder, smiling up at him.