Don't do it like this | Kurtis

She was quite cute like this. Even in the midst of her heart aching sorrow did she manage to make him smile. Her waving him off made him shake his head at her before he grabbed a soft cover to put over her. Surely she didnt need extra warmth, but the cover was quite good quality and rarely used so it was almost silky to the touch. "Sleep w-w-well Zaira." he muttered, moving some hair off her face before he went to prepare for bed and eventually falling asleep.
He woke early to his alarm, groaning as he did feel a slight headache from the alcohol having processed. It would have been a good idea to finish the glass of water he had grabbed instead of leaving it barely sipped on the nightstand next to the bed. He grabbed it now and emptied it. He changed his clothes before he went to check on the hybrid in the living room.

Zaira had been very surprised by everything going on with her change. But one thing she still struggled with was her nightmares. They had intensified since being away from Kurtis, gotten worse and more gruesome than they ever had. Luckily she didn't need much sleep, in fact when she woke up she didn't even feel hungover. It was strange, but she could feel a slight itch at the back of her throat. Rummaging her bag she downed the few vials she had packed, grimacing as she didn't find the flavor good. She had gotten up a fair while before Abel had, and she had prepared breakfast for him, now just sitting in the window of the kitchen, smoking a cigarette and feeling the business of the city calm her down. She had always loved living close to everything, so living up in Northern was really messing with her.
As Abel entered the kitchen she sent him a half smile, "morning," she said, gesturing to the table where some simple food was prepared for him; just whatever she had been able to find in the cupboard and fridge, but she had managed to make pancakes. "I forgot to ask what you're doing today," she said, finishing up her cigarette before climbing down from the window sill and joining him at the table.

He found her in the kitchen, though it hadnt been hard with the smell of pancakes in the air. He was pleasantly surprised and maybe a little worried that she had been up for long, not being able to sleep due to what had happened or something else. "G-goodmorning. S-slept well?" he asked as he sat down, grabbing some pancakes. He poured a little bit of sugar over them, letting that melt while she insinuated a question with her forgetful mind. "I-I'm trying s-something new." he chuckled, lifting a hand to scratch the back of his head. It felt a little silly and maybe such a privilege that he had coming from where he did. "I a-am g-going to a j-job interview. I s-signed up for a s-summer job." he confessed, grabbing the fork that he rolled around between his fingers as he waited for what she had to say about that.

She shrugged lightly at his question regarding her sleep, "I slept as well as could be expected," she admitted, though she didn't have to go into details about her vivid night terrors. Instead she watched as he picked some pancakes, watching the sugar dissolve. She missed eating like a normal person. In fact she wished she could enjoy this breakfast as she once would have, but then again thinking about it would only make her more upset. "How about you? You look a little tired," she could be honest with him, just like he could be honest with her, and frankly he didn't look too well this morning. But perhaps he would perk up after some breakfast and coffee? She hoped so.
Especially as he explained he had applied for a summer job. Her face was probably a bit confused, but she was actually more akin to surprised than anything. "Summer job? Wow, you really are one of a kind," she chuckled, but could she really expect less from someone who dreamed of once becoming a doctor? She grabbed a mug of coffee, just to have something in her hands so she wouldn't fidget. It also made her feel a bit normal just to be doing mundane things like this. "So what have you applied for? Like is it a store or perhaps dog walker or?" she was curious to hear more. Most people in their situation wouldn't think about getting a job because they could survive off of their parents' money. But Zaira could remember growing up less fortunate than most, so she found Abel's new career path exciting. In fact if it wasn't because of what she was dealing with right now she could've considered doing the same.

Her confession made him pull a bit of a dismayed expression but it was what it was. It wasnt like he could magically make her dreams better. He would be doing it already if he had such an ability, wouldnt he? She returned the question and he chuckled. "I forgot to d-drink w-water. I'm just a l-little dried out." he assured her. It wasnt anything bad.
But then he mentioned the summer job and she seemed surprised by it. He didnt think it was something grand or noble for him to be doing. The question of where made him hum thoughtfully as he thought of how to phrase it. "A-an elderly h-home. I'll be h-helping out t-the elders, k-kind of l-like a summer c-camp. B-but these j-just want to s-stay inside and play l-like b-bingo or something." he remarked. But he was looking forward to do it regardless.

A retirement home? She couldn't say it surprised her too much, not when she really thought about it. He was a compassionate guy, one who cared a lot about those around him. It only made sense that he would pick a job meant for nurturing others. "Well I guess it makes sense if you want to boost your CV if you want to be a doctor," she had to give him that, nodding as she saw a lot of potential in a job like that. Sure, it wasn't like being an assistant to a nurse or whatever, but it was about handling others and it surely had potential to help him in his further career. "Even if you don't want to be a doctor anyways, it sounds pretty chill," she nodded taking a sip of her coffee. "Are you excited for it?"

"Y-yeah. G-grades wont d-do much later. I mean.... St Jules i-is a g-great place for g-getting into u-uni. But a-afterwards? W-who cares i-if you went to s-some rich k-kid s-school." he shrugged. Maybe it had meant something if he wanted to start a firm or be a lawyer. But he wanted neither of those things. "I-I'll see i-if I like it." he smiled. The question felt like something he could only guess. He wouldnt say excitement came to mind. "M-more like w-worry. That I'm n-not good enough." he chuckled, wasnt it reasonable? He wanted to do good so the elderly could have a nice summer. But he didnt really know what his tasks would be. "W-what do old p-people even l-like to do? Complain a-about the y-youth... wh-wheel around in their walker-ro-rollator? And what else?"

Worry? She scoffed, smiling more genuinely at him, "you've got nothing to worry about," she assured him. Yeah, she was biased, but that didn't mean she wasn't right. Abel was a great guy with a lot of potential, and she was sure that they could see that too. She chuckled softly as he listed things that the elderly might like but she had to shrug, "I don't know, I mean maybe they'll surprise you?" she thought out loud, humming before she took another sip of her coffee. "Maybe one of them are like into extreme sports or another might be into watching movies?" she wasn't quite sure what she would've preferred. At least she didn't think age really meant much once you had passed a certain threshold.
"Honestly I think you're going to do great," she reassured him. But just as much as she could say that to him, perhaps he was like her and only focused on half a compliment. What a pair they were! "Besides, I think they might surprise you; Old people have seen a lot of shit, so they must know a lot of shit too," she smiled.

He at least seemed to settle into eating while she was just slowly sipping on her coffee. It at least helped her perk up a bit and he assured her that she could stay here. Humming softly she nodded, "I'll probably just clean this up and head back," she admitted with a slight shrug. She knew she wasn't under house arrest, but she knew that she needed more blood eventually. And she didn't want to risk going once her throat started itching again. "But thank you for the offer; If you don't mind I could keep the key for a little while? Maybe drop by when I feel too isolated up in Northern," she smiled slightly.
He headed out and she got to cleaning this whole mess, making sure to pack away any leftover food in containers and bags in the fridge so he could have some later if he wanted to. After leaving the kitchen spotless, she grabbed her stuff, making sure all windows were closed before she looked at herself in the mirror. Good gods, she looked horrible. Her eyeliner rubbed and smudged, her mascara having run a bit but she didn't recall crying. Her hair she just fluffed up, not really bothering with her makeup as she would just make it worse by rubbing on it.

Zaira headed out, opting to just walk to Northern as the weather wasn't too bad. Besides, she had missed just looking at the city. All of the people passing by, having their own lives, their own struggles. It was comforting in a strange way, that perhaps, just maybe, she wasn't completely alone in all of this turmoil. Heading into Northern she wondered if people in their fancy houses ever even used all of the rooms. Her and her mother had lived together in quite the large house, but they also always had a lot of guests over. Either her friends or her mom's.
Finally she reached the Parish estate, wondering if there was a scolding to be had, but the staff simply greeted her. She felt awkward here and completely out of touch with reality. The workers of course wanted to do their jobs, but she wasn't one to be waited on. She wanted to do things her own way. Instead of going up to her room, she went out to the garden, just sitting down on the grass and laying down in the sun. She had tried and failed to get a tan. She guessed she would be stuck like this forever. The smell of roses were in the air, and she closed her eyes, listening to a bee that was buzzing around the flowers and a bird chirping in a tree. It was peaceful up here, but she didn't find the same peace as she did in the bustling city.

Of course he had waited to come to her in a time and place where she felt she needed to be alone. She heard the gravel moving. Was it strange that she could recognize how he walked? Maybe it was just one of those weird hybrid things she could do now. "Took you long enough," she muttered, keeping her eyes closed. She wasn't sure she was ready to look at him. Would he look different? How would he look at her? With anger and hatred? It wasn't something she felt completely comfortable about experiencing. Opening her eyes she looked up at the sky, a light breeze moving over the grass, making her sigh as it felt like a soft caress in the heat of the sun.
"Go on .. yell at me," she said, almost being able to smell the anger he exuded. She sat up, finally turning her head to look at him and she felt she had tears in her eyes, even if she didn't want to, it just hurt to look at him and know that he wasn't with her anymore. "Come on, that's why you're here, right?" she said getting up as she kept her eyes on him. She probably still looked a little crazy from last night, not having bothered with changing clothes or even showering. But who was he to care regardless? "Yell at me .. scream at me .. tell me how I'm the worst person on this planet and how I deserve nothing good!" She wanted him to hurt her. She wanted to feel the hurt and confirm her inner thoughts of being a monster and a freak in his eyes.

"No?" then why had he come here. She felt like she couldn't even recognize him. He was cold and distant. Hell, when he looked at her she felt a pit in her stomach because it was like he saw right through her. She was shivering a bit, the nerves in her rushing as she felt her whole being wanting to reach out to him. Wanting him to drop this act and be her Kurtis again. Her dumbass. But he just stated something in a toneless manner and she shook her head, "so what?" It had been a horrible experience. That woman was vile and she hadn't wanted to talk with her. "Are you annoyed your mother had more balls to face me first than you?" She was trying to press his buttons in any which way she could. Just a reaction. Please.
"Or are you just trying to intimidate me now you're some big shot?" was she really nothing to him anymore? She felt like she had ruined everything. The thing with Jeremy had screwed with her, but Kurtis hadn't even been there. He didn't know what she had gone through and it wasn't like she was keen on sharing it. "Is this who you are now? Just some corporate asshole like your old man?" Low blow, but she didn't want this. She had wanted closure, but this was just making her hate herself even more. He barely looked at her and when he did his face was just so emotionless.

He was so distant. It was hard to imagine the hothead and passionate guy she had been so in love with. And yet she felt like she could still see him. Was that weird? He told her to cut the shit, his untasteful remarks made her shake her head looking down, "you think I haven't beaten myself up about what I did to Jeremy?" She asked but then she looked down, "what I did to us." Taking a deep breath she just shook her head, "who am I kidding, I ruined the best thing in my life," she said with a defeated tone. She walked over sitting down on one of the benches, pulling out her packet of cigarettes from her bag, popping one between her lips. She lit it, inhaling the heavy smoke that soon filled her lungs.
Breathing out she scoffed at herself, "and I'm still in love with you, so I guess that will be the funniest thing to come out of this, right?" She knew the irony in this. She could understand his anger because frankly she deserved every ounce of vile treatment she could get. "I don't care if you're cold and distant, or if you've fucked every girl on the street while I was gone," she admitted, and she felt no remorse in admitting it. "Frankly you're the best I've ever had .. And of course I was meant to screw that up because I can't get anything stable in my life." She wasn't looking for pity, she was just stating what she believed to be facts. "I hoped that seeing you again might make me able to get over you .. Or maybe seeing you would somehow make me realize that you weren't who I thought you were," she looked at the garden with an empty look in her eyes, "but I still see the dumbass that I love .. so hurray, congrats, you are the one that got away because I'm such a fuck up."

He was sure that she had had a lot of time to think about what she had done, but would it change much? He didnt feel too sure. It felt like they were at a point that was impossible to move from. At least from a teenager like Kurtis' perspective. Even if the immovable part was his doing as well. He crossed his arms and didnt really have to agree with her. He didnt feel the need to rub in further. He was supposed to act like he didnt care anyway. If he didnt seem to give a shit, then it was because he really felt that way right? He could just keep lying to himself like that.
Though it was quite a surprise when she flat out admitted to still being in love with him. That surprised him a bit but he did his utmost best to not emote. Just seem indifferent and uncaring. Just a little while longer and then it would probably stop hurting. He listened to her, with his arms crossed, biting the inside of his cheek, but only when she wasnt looking at him. He thought her words through, but ended up just shaking his head. "Yeah, well Zaira. I dont believe you." he finally said with a bit of a defeated look in his eyes. He barely recognized himself and it felt easier not to. So why was he supposed to believe that she was still seeing the dumbass she loved?

Honestly pouring her heart out felt therapeutic in a way that all of those classes hadn't been. She felt so good just saying out loud what he had meant to her, what he still sorta meant even if he didn't feel the same. She didn't look at him, just down at the grass beneath her feet, flicking some ash off of her cigarette when she wasn't smoking it. He said he didn't believe her and she scoffed, shrugging as she got up. Pressing the rest of the smoked cigarette out, she stomped the remaining ember out under her heal. "I wasn't trying to convince you," she just said, looking at him with hurt eyes. When had she ever tried to convince him of something that wasn't true? She couldn't recall a single time, only perhaps her being in denial of her feelings for him back before they got together. "It feels good to hear you say my name," she said rather genuinely. He didn't have a strong accent, if any at all, but there was something in the way he pronounced her name that she wasn't sure she would ever come to forget.
"You're a busy guy now, so I won't take up more of your precious time," she said, pulling her phone out, seeing she had a message, sighing to herself as she rubbed her already messy eyes. "I have to clean up .. my mom's expecting me to stop by so I have to mentally prepare myself and down so many vials just so I don't bite her," she said a bit defeated. She was really trying to get used to it, but drinking blood was just different. It wasn't like you sat down for a meal, laughed and talked. No, she felt like it was a chore. Like she had to do it otherwise she would hurt others. Turning her head she looked at him, clearly wanting to say something but she couldn't really find anymore words to really say. Only a small thing that he perhaps wouldn't even except, "I'm sorry .. really .. for all the headaches I've given you without reason," she said, having to look down as away to not start crying. "It's, uh, all just been very sucky without you."

Zaira didn't really know what she felt anymore. The hurt just sorta blended together and made her feel awkward, because she honestly just wanted to reach out for him. Maybe touch his cheek or hold his gaze for a little while, but she knew that he would either deny her or she would get hurt simply when the connection was lost. Heartbreaks weren't easy, but it seemed like it wouldn't go away when it came to Kurtis.
However she stopped as she heard the servant speak, frowning as she turned around as she sighed, walking over she grabbed Kurtis' arm. Her eyes distant as she looked at the servant, "of course he's not trespassing, I invited him," she lied, but she was a great liar as always. She almost didn't dare to let go of his arm, afraid he would run away or disappear into thin air. "In fact, I was going to show him my room," she said, rather manner-of-factly before pulling the lycan with her. She knew it was the last thing he probably wanted to do, but she didn't want him to get in trouble over something this stupid. She would have to get a scolding by Eden or perhaps Josette later, but for now she could at least make sure he didn't get into more trouble because of her.
Pulling him with her up the stairs, she was walking fast, not speaking at all as this was just an excuse to keep him out of trouble. She stopped at her door, opening it and just walking inside before she let go of his arm. She didn't say anything, just walking over to her closet where she picked out something that her mother was used to seeing her in; A pair of baggy jeans and an oversized shirt. "Just stay here for a few minutes, then you can leave - this staff is so fucking nosy and way too creepy for my taste," she muttered, finally looking at herself in the mirror before she started to take off her makeup with some wipes.

She took off her excessive jewelries from the night before, but keeping the golden necklace on that he had given her. She didn't care if he saw, she was pathetic either way, right? Scoffing at his remark she shrugged, "oh sorry, mister big-shot, I forgot my place in this world, huh?" She rolled her eyes, struggling with her dress a bit. Her arms shaking a little as she tried to loosen the zipper, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of helping her. Instead she would just huff and pretend as if she wasn't done with her face yet, taking off her ripped stockings and throwing them in the corner.
"Did you throw my shit out?" she asked, because seeing as he was stuck here she might as well ask about that whole mess. She knew she hadn't had anything in the apartment of real value, well except for what they had had, but it wasn't really something that she could throw out. "This fucking dress," she muttered in frustration as she finally got the zipper down, pulling it off and throwing it as far away from her as she could. She felt angry, standing in her underwear she didn't even care. He had seen her before, what was the big deal anyways? Putting on some deodorant and perfume, because frankly she wanted to not smell of drinking and cigarettes around her mother, she grabbed the oversized pants, pulling them on and tightening them around her hips with a belt. Brushing her hair a bit she hated how short she had cut it. It only made the curls worse and poof out more. But alas not much could be done about that besides waiting for it to grow back.