Don't do it like this | Kurtis

She was right in regards to his height and she chuckled, saying it was about time that he caught up to the others. It was just so .. normal with Abel. Nothing seemed complicated, nothing was dramatic. It was just as easy as breathing. In fact it might've been easier than breathing. She loved the ride down the hills, the wind i. Her hair as they had to yell to keep a conversation going. She finally felt a little normal. A small break from being the freak she had made herself to be in her head.
"I just want you to know it's not just because of Kurtis that we're going out .. I've really needed to feel like a normal stupid teenager for a while," she smiled, just holding on to his arm, having missed how they used to always see each other. She wanted to get caught up with everything, hearing a bit about what had been going on, the gossip there had been while she was away. "So did you ever end up going on a date with .. oh shit, what was her name? Uh, don't say it .. Jessie?" She frowned, having forgotten the girl's name was probably not the worst thing, but she felt like a bad friend for not remembering.

"Janice! Yeah, that's her name," she smiled, nodding as she seemed to remember now. It was strange how something like that was easy to be triggered in the memory. But she was however pleasantly surprised that Abel and this girl had been dating for a while. "That's amazing, A," she smiled, being genuinely happy for him. She wanted him to have someone in his life that could understand and accept all of his quirks. But she guessed every friend was like that, right? "So tell me about her; what's she like?" She sadly hadn't been able to meet her, seeing as she had been away for a while. She felt a bit out of the loop, but Abel didn't seem to mind.
They headed into the club, and she felt lucky that Abel had grown so much, because they weren't even asked for ID. "Let's get a drink," she suggested, grabbing Abel's hand and walking in front of him to snake their way through the crowd. There were a lot of people here. Up at the bar she ordered whatever it was Abel wanted and a sweet cocktail for herself. She wasn't even sure she would like the taste, but she guessed she would find out.
Looking around there were so many faces to keep track up, ans not to mention scents. She wasn't too good at discerning them from each other, but maybe that was a good thing. Having gotten their drinks at this point they moved away from the bar, having a few sip as the glasses were almost overflowing. "Oh my gods, I really haven't missed the taste," she giggled, pulling a face as she shook her head. The alcohol was burning at the back of her throat, and she wondered why she hadn't noticed when she had been a human. Or maybe it was just much more intense now after her change. "Do you wanna dance with me?" She yelled over the music, hoping that if he did they could move out to dance with the many other people here.

Oh sure, being locked away hadn't been the worst in the world. But this new-found freedom was liberating to say the least! Dancing, drinking, laughing with Abel. Truly she couldn't remember the last time it had been this good to just exist. There was no drama right now. No evil parents lurking; no vampyres in the shadow; not even a doctor or nurse ready to take her to one of the mandatory classes. It was just her, Abel and a good time. However in the back of her mind, she knew it wouldn't last.
She felt a pair of eyes on her in the crowd, but when she looked there wasn't anyone to spot. It was weird. Maybe she was getting paranoid? Maybe all that time locked away had damaged her perception of reality. Or maybe, just maybe, she felt like she saw the shadow of someone she recognised. But as goes with shadows, they are not easily caught. Trying to snap out of it, she turned back to face Abel she shook her head as a loud song started playing. Zaira recognised it as she started to scream-sing along to the song, probably ruining her vocal chords but that was a problem for tomorrow. The DJ was actually really good. Or perchance she had just forgotten what a bad DJ sounded like. Either way she danced, jumped and sipped from her drink when she wasn't moving or singing along.

Zaira had been having a blast, and it seemed that Abel had too. However it was getting late, and she wondered if she even had a curfew. No way, right? Eden wasn't her dad, he couldn't tell her what to do and not to - unless it was those vampyre lessons, but they hadn't begun those yet anyways. She nodded, "just have to go to the toilet real quick," she yelled back, signaling where she was going. She told him he could just wait for her outside as the line wasn't that bad.
Heading to the bathroom, she just fanned her face with her hand as she felt how hot she had gotten from all the screaming and dancing. She wouldn't say she was too sweaty, but she could feel her cheeks were warm. Strange how she still had some human functions still. Once the bathroom visit was over, she felt that feeling of being watched again. The shadow was again one step ahead and she now felt torn. Should she go after the shadow, or go outside to Abel? Biting her lower lip she sighed, as she did have obligations to go to her friend. She already felt like a bad friend to begin with, and ditching him to figure this shadow thing out was stupid. It was probably just her mind playing tricks on her anyways.
Outside the cool summer air hit her face all at once, smiling a bit as she still felt pretty buzzed up. Seeing as it had been so long since she had had a proper drink, she felt like a lightweight. She found Abel pretty quickly, giggling as she wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you for coming with me today," she smiled, pressing her forehead into his chest, hanging onto him for a while just as the world stopped spinning a little. Inside she hadn't felt too disoriented, but out here where the world was supposed to be standing still she felt it hit her like a ton of bricks.

Zaira knew she was tipsy in the back of her mind, but that didn't mean that she knew how to stop herself from acting silly. He went to go check on the bikes as she sat down on the sidewalk, looking out at the people passing by. She wondered how many of them had a story that was interesting or perhaps happier than hers. Then she heard Abel mumble, frowning as she felt like everything was so loud and now so silent. She got up, stumbling a bit but she made it to him. Opening her mouth to ask what was going on, she saw the empty alley and she muttered a soft "fuck," before looking to Abel. "Shit, I'm sorry," she said, the corners of her mouth turning downwards.
She felt tears pressing on, sniffling as she lookes at the alley. "I'm really sorry," she said, wiping her eyes because she felt silly and inconsolable. It had been such a good night! And now this. It felt like everything was ruined. "I'll .. I'll get us a cab and I'll pay for a new bike, alright?" She asked, feeling like she had once again failed at being a friend. She returned to the sidewalk, trying to wave in a taxi along with the other people from the club that was now heading home. Shit. Of course a taxi would prefer a pair of adults and not two teenagers. What normal teenagers had the money to just take a cab home at this time of night? Well she had, but they didn't know that.
Okay, enough with the arm waving, she picked her phone out of her pocket only to realize. Her phone was gone! How shitty of a night could this really be? She walked to Abel, handing him enough money for him to get a taxi as she looked pretty defeated. "My phone's gone, so I'll head in to look for it," she said in an apologetic tone. "If I'm not out once you have a taxi, just get in and go home - I have no plans tomorrow so I'll be fine just walking home," she assured him. Leaning up she placed a kiss against his cheek. "Thank you for tonight; I'm sorry it ended this shitty. "

Abel would always know what to say, wouldn't he? She felt at ease as he said he would wait for her, but she still felt bad about the whole ordeal. Heading back inside she went up to the bartender who smiled as she recognized her. "I was afraid you weren't coming back, sugar; You left your phone with me," she spoke in a heavy accent, but Zaira didn't know where to place it. Her face lit up with joy, relieved that she had at least had half a braincell to leave it on the bar disk at least. At least she didn't have to go scour the dance floor! She placed a nice tip for the bartender whom of course slipped it behind the disk into a small jar, nodding as she told her it hadn't been a problem at all.
As she turned around she bumped into a rather tall guy. He chuckled, and she could almost hear the vibrations in his voice as he reached down to touch along her arms, "Little mouse, you better be careful," he said, getting a good look at her now that he had the chance. Zaira looked up at him with a sour expression on her face, probably looking done with the whole situation. "Please let go of me," she rolled her eyes, trying to be nice, but there would always be something snarky about her. It was a curse and a blessing. One of the guy's friends leaned in, whispering something in his ear and Zaira frowned, only hearing snippets, but it did sound like bad news. "I'm sorry, but my friend is waiting for me," she said, moving out of his grip rather easy, hurrying across the dancefloor. She got outside, looking around for Abel, but of course the guys had followed her.
"You're hurting my feelings, baby, come on, we could get out of here; We're having a party at my flat just down the road," he smiled from ear to ear, being large in his gestures. Was this supposed to woo her? She didn't feel like it was working. He looked almost like a peacock, spreading out his wings to try and seduce her, but she wasn't a peacock, and he lacked a lot of feathers to even be considered colorful. "Listen, dude, I'm not your baby, alright?" she just replied to him not really giving a shit at this point. This seemed to piss him off, walking closer to her and grabbing on to her lower arm. It was at this point she realized he was a vampyre as he leaned down to her ear and whispered softly, almost tenderly, "I heard half-breeds are the most fun in bed."

Abel luckily spotted her, and the vampyre let go as the two guys went between them. Zaira smelled the scent of a lycan, and even if it wasn't Kurtis' smell, it still hurt her heart. The vampyres seemed to back off, grumbling something about this being too public and that she had dirty blood anyways. She was left behind by the stranger as well, but she reached for him, "hey, uhm, thank you," she said, even if he ended up ignoring her. She felt bad. This could've ended shittier than a missing bike or a lost phone. She turned to Abel, her eyes a little fluid as it had been a scary experience. She had tried the cornering before, a couple of times. She knew not all men were like this, Kurtis hadn't been, neither Jeremy nor Abel. But she felt her trust in the good in others were slowly disappearing within her.
They managed to finally get a taxi, and sitting in the backseat she leaned her head against Abel's shoulder. Or rather it was against his upper arm seeing as he had grown a bit. It felt strange right now. Her stomach felt like it was churning, but she wasn't hungry. "I know this is weird, but are your parents home?" she asked, mostly because she knew they often traveled back and forth between Churchill and America because of his sister. Maybe she just needed like a night away from the isolation of the mansion. "If they aren't, could I maybe crash at your place?" she was hoping for a yes, but she could understand if he didn't want her to because he had obligations in the morning.

They weren't? Well that was almost a relief. She didn't feel like being questioned about her absence when they woke up. He agreed to let her stay at his place and it made her smile. "Of course not," she didn't have the heart to tell him that she didn't need much sleep as her new self. It was something she was still coming to terms with. She just leaned on Abel, feeling like she needed to say something, but what was there to say? Well, one thing was something she had to get off her chest. "I have to know if I'm going crazy," she said with a sigh, reaching down to take Abel's hand in her own, just needing the support he could give her, "but that guy was very similar to Kurtis, right?" She could accept that she was going crazy. That perhaps she was seeing him in everything she did now. Was that even normal?
She groaned softly, leaning back in her seat, stretching her legs under the seat in front of her, looking at her hand that was holding Abel. "I guess I won't ever really be in a relationship that won't fall apart, huh?" she scoffed, shaking her head as she felt like she was wallowing too much in self-pity right now. She was being stupid, wasn't she?

Okay, great, so she wasn't losing her mind. Yet. She hummed softly as he spoke, and he sounded so wise, making her smile a little. The thing about being a teenager was trying to find out who you were when you weren't even sure who you wanted to be. "You're right, but that doesn't make me feel less shitty," she shrugged. Her and Kurtis hadn't ended with a clear closure. It felt so raw and open still, perhaps because she hadn't been able to work it out. What hurt the most was that he had probably moved on. Or maybe gone back to sleeping around. Not that she could judge him, but she felt like it was erasing what they had had in a sense. But maybe she was just being very self-centered and narcissistic in all of this, however she did only have her own side of the story to go by.
"I just feel like," she said, her free hand moving up, touching the golden pendant, rubbing it between her thumb and index finger, "I need closure, you know? We ended so abruptly with all this shit with me and Jeremy and .. fuck my heart is just really hurting." Closing her eyes she knew she was more talkative about this because of the alcohol. But she also felt self destructive. "Have you ever felt that way about someone? Like .. When you aren't with them, you feel like nothing makes sense anymore?" Was she being dramatic? Sure, she was a teenager! But she also meant it. Kurtis and her had had something not many got to experience - at least not at such a young age. She shook her head, "maybe I should go on a Kurtis-cleanse .. like fuck a couple of guys, screw around and see if it helps," of course she knew it wouldn't be smart. She wasn't someone who just fucked around. She liked being intimate with someone she could trust, and that had developed while she was with Kurtis. But maybe she needed to break those restrictions?

He wasn't sure. Well that was rather fair. What she had had with Kurtis was intense. Something going deep, and now that it was over she felt like a part of her soul was missing. But then again, everything had to be dramatic for a teenager, right? The question he asked next was however a fair one to ask, but she couldn't really answer it as she shrugged. "I don't know .. I guess it's just a vague hope?" She muttered, her free hand moving down to twist around the bottom hem of her dress, wondering what she could do to just get over it. The problem she didn't realize yet was the fact that Kurtis wasn't a guy you just got over.
She frowned at his confession, turning to look at his eyes as she shook her head no. "Abel, I'm not looking for advice," she told him a slight smile appearing as the corner of her mouth pulled up in one side. She just appreciated that he was at least listening. "I just need to vent my thoughts before I spiral, you know?" Her eyes were sad. Behind that slight smile you could almost taste the pain she was enduring right now. "I guess it would've been more comforting to know if he was alright .. Or maybe that he was doing shitty without me .. I'm not sure if I want to be a petty bitch of an ex yet," she shrugged, looking down again turning her head to hide away into Abel's arm. Her heart was hurting so much, and the experience she had just had made her feel more shit.
"I'm unlovable, Abel," she muttered, sniffling as she squeezed his hand, "I'm a freak and I feel more lonely than I've ever been .. As a human I knew my place, I knew where I was heading in life, but now?" She shook her head. She hadn't really had anyone to talk this through with. Except if you counted Eden's lecture earlier, but she didn't consider that helping in any way. Abel was the guy who knew what to say. He was perhaps the only real friend she had left in this place. She felt like she couldn't go visit her mother in fear of getting scolded or yelled at. Or maybe her mother would smell inviting enough for her to .. No, she didn't want to think of what she was capable of now.

"Well I for one feel like the road has been turned upside down and I've been given a blindfold," she sighed, appreciating how he pressed her closer. It was strange how things had turned out for them. She just let herself feel comforted by him, hoping he wasn't holding it against her, and yet there would always be that small whisper in the back of her head. The rest of the ride was pretty peaceful, at least she sobered up a bit. Arriving at the family home, she got out of the cab, letting Abel handle the payment as she had given him more than enough cash for it. She looked up at the building with a small sigh.
Once inside the apartment she just went to the couch, flopping down on her stomach with a thump and stretching herself over the seat. "Those drinks were really strong," she muttered with a slight yawn, slowly curling up on the seat as her body found a pretty nice spot to lay on. She felt like she could pass out any moment. "Do you ever wonder what the two of us could've been if you hadn't moved?" she muttered, clearly sleepy.

He was pretty quiet for the rest of the ride as well, but he wouldnt say that it was awkward. Not much had been awkward with Zaira before, so why would it start now? They got inside and he kicked his shoes off before he went to the kitchen to get them two glasses of water. Her mutter made a soft scoff leave his lips as he placed the water on the sofa table, now that she seemed to have settled on laying down. The question made him shrug as he wasnt really sure what to say. "In all honesty, I d-do think Ku-Kurtis would have f-found a way to mess it up. And I-I think you would have been fine w-with it t-too." he replied. Did that make him a bad person? He didnt think so. He just thought that Kurtis and Zaira was a good fit.

She sighed, shrugging as he was probably right. Kurtis had just had this thing about him. At first she thought it was just pure annoyance and arrogance on his behalf. But as the facades fell, they found a lot of common ground. They liked the same bands, and while there was a lot they disagreed on, they always seemed to find a middle ground for that too. "I guess you'll always be the smartest of us," she said, her lips pulling up in a smile. She was happy to have Abel in her life. He just seemed to belong in it, and while their relationship wasn't romantic, she carried a lot of love for him. It was just another type of love, as if he was family or something like that.
She looked at the glass, not really trusting her reflexes so she just let it be for now. "What if he was the one?" She asked, frowning as she had thought about it a lot. "Like, he made me a better me in so many ways, and I think what we had won't ever be beaten by anyone," she had a lot of regrets, it was clear, but there wasn't much she could do if she couldn't even get into contact with him.

"I t-think you're b-being hard on y-yourself. And I c-can s-say that as the s-smart one." he chuckled, not accepting that she was putting herself down while uplifting him. She was smart in her own way, ways that he couldnt ever compete in. Not that there was a competition.
The conversation switched and her question was good. But he just shrugged. "T-then he s-should be c-coming around eventually." he argued. If they were meant to be then they would find a way back to each other. Like it was some rule for the universe to keep spinning around itself. "T-the word is o-out that you're back. He w-will seek you out eventually." Abel shrugged. He was quite sure of that. And surely she knew that too.

She was being hard on herself, only she wasn't really realizing that too much. Not in the state she was in right now. Abel was good at handling her, he always seemed so level headed and calm. It was a good energy to be around, that was for sure. He did have a point and she hummed, nodding as she knew that was true. Or she at least hoped it to be. Kurtis was a dumbass, but he was a consistent dumbass, so he was sorta easy to predict. However his rhythm of when he did things could wary a lot, which she found the most troubling part. "Yeah, he'll come around eventually .. I guess I can't force it even if it's out and everything," she muttered, her eyes growing heavy, her body slowly relaxing into the seat she was already curled up on. "I'm sorry for keeping you up .. Go sleep already," she waved lazily with her hand, struggling to keep her eyes open as her words slurred.