Healing isn't always easy | Eden

Everything felt so good, but as Eden left him, even if it was for a split second, he felt how his heart was pounding. Even shaking a little. He sat up, moving his head around, trying to locate him because he didn't know why he had stopped. The human returned, his breath hiccupping with relief and yet he was still rather nervous. What if it was going to scare him? He jumped a little surprised as the cold lube hit him, whimpering as the fingers pushed into him once more, but something was a little different now. The question made him shiver and as he started to tease him he didn't push down against him. In fact he was a little scared, moving away from the tip. "Eden," he pleaded, his eyes welling up. He needed to hear his voice, needed to know that it was him. The kisses were nice, but he couldn't let him enter him before he heard his voice and assuring words.
Romeo was scared for the first time being together with Eden. Maybe it was the pressure to be perfect, or maybe it was the fact that he couldn't see him. While his body felt the same, it lacked the cold that he had come to associate with his lover, and his body had to learn to trust this new temperature. "I'm sorry, I just need a bit of adjusting," he admitted. He knew how eager he had been, but now that it was actually happening he was getting in his own head about it. And the trauma he had lived through could perhaps never be erased from the back of his mind. "Maybe .. talk me through what you're doing?"

The admittance only made it worse. He had ruined it! He had ruined it all! "No .. no, please, babe, please please don't stop," he pleaded with his love as he pulled away and started to apologize. He shook his head no, tears falling down his face, "please .. I need you .. please," he just cried. It was too painful to stop. He had been so sexually frustrated, and it had been so good. And for it to stop now? He would never forgive himself for that. His free hand moved along his arm until he reached his shoulder. He flipped them around, a little carefully, as the lycan ended up on top. Leaning down his lips reached the human's chest, feeling how warm it was with a light layer of sweat that was trying to cool him down. He kissed him, nuzzling his nose into his collarbone as he did so. "You say you always want to give me what I want," he muttered against his skin, moving his kisses up to his neck, biting it gently and not piecing his skin, but enough pressure so he would leave some faint teeth marks. "And I want you .. baby I need you .. touch me more .. tell me what you're doing .. help me know that it's my husband doing his duty and pleasing the both of us," he just needed the reassurance. Needed to know that Eden was the one touching him, pressing into him and making him moan in delight. He slowly started to grind himself against his crotch, knowing he was limb was a hard blow to him, because it made him feel so unattractive. "Is it because you don't want me anymore?" He had to ask, but he kept grinding against him, wanting so desperately for there to happen something, "because I want you .."

Eden didn't even have to say that he hurt because Romeo stopped in an instant. He just started sobbing as they wrapped their arms around one another. He just felt like he couldn't stop. All of the changes and emotions were just too much. A selfish part of him just wanted everything to go back to the way it had been. To just be the married happy couple. But Romeo felt miserable because he couldn't even do this. He was really scared that this was how it was going to be from now on. The two of them getting into it only for the lycan to back out last minute and it ruining it all. He was a failure. How could Eden even say that he loved him if the lycan simply couldn't provide the two of them with the release they were so longing for. He just cried. Holding onto Eden as he was so scared of letting go and the human finding out what a miserable and sick man he had married.

Romeo just felt how they were both so caught up in their emotions, hearing Eden talk he just wasn't sure if he could believe it. Well, his mind could but his body was still a little undecided after what it was going through right now. The reassurance that they could try again felt good, but was this really what Eden wanted or was he just trying to appease him? He suggested calming down and Romeo nodded, his sobs having stopped even if his tears were still rolling out of his eyelids. He loved being held this close. Loved feeling their skin pressed together. It was truly the most wonderful feeling there ever was. He kissed his shoulder a few places where his tears were pooling up. Just wanting to comfort the human as well.
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me," his voice hoarse and broken, but also very vulnerable. He kept his kisses short and brief, but there was intent behind them. Every kiss meant something. "You came into my life and changed everything for the better .. I never really dared to live a life like this before I met you .. never thought I could deserve loving and being loved." He was just opening up about everything now. He had worked on it a lot in therapy and with the help that Saige had provided him with. His hands moved around his back in soothing motions, caressing him and touching him gently, just helping him feel loved as well.
"I guess that's why I'm scared of intimacy without sight .. because if I can't see it, is it even real? Or is my mind just playing games with me and I'll wake up from the most wonderful dream, and it would've all been made up in my head?" He swallowed, pulling away from his shoulder, resting his hands on his shoulders, his thumbs caressing his collarbone. He kept his eyes closed. "I've come to associate cold with you .. but you're not cold anymore, and when you moved away, returning without a sound, and just .. took me .. I was- I was afraid that I was waking up."

Deep down Romeo knew that Eden wasn't looking to hurt him, he knew that this man who was holding him ever closer was a man he could trust. A man that loved him and wanted him more than anything. But in that tiny second he had let his fears run wild, because he hadn't been able to neither see nor hear the human he longed for. Feeling his breath hiccup a little as Eden started to apologize. It was a little crazy to think about the stern man he had met so long ago now, who never apologized for anything, actually apologizing to him more than was necessary. He just wrapped his arms around him tighter as he felt the warm breath against his skin. The lycan had had his time to speak, so it was clear he was just giving Eden the opportunity to do the same.
However one thing stood out to him. "We deserve that," he corrected him, pulling away he moved his hands up cupping his face. Just holding him as if he was the most valuable thing in the whole world. And Eden sorta was. He was the person he could always count on, who came to him when he most needed him. He leaned in, bumping his nose a little against his forehead, and he couldn't help but chuckle a little. "I still have to learn how to navigate this, huh?" he said, a smile on his face before he pressed his lips against his forehead. The kisses moved slow, down over his nose until it reached his lips. "Jeg elsker deg, Eden Altieri," he spoke, mixing both his native tongue and the very Italian name together. It sounded wonderful to Romeo's ears. "Ti amo, amore mio," he whispered, kissing his lips gently. Not going overboard, simply taking his time, sampling his lips and how warm they were. How they still bore a lingering hint of his own taste. This felt more right to the lycan. It was slow and not rushed, just the two of them exchanging sweet kisses as if that was all they had ever done.

Romeo felt his heart pick up in pace as Eden seemed to mix up their languages as well. It sounded so beautiful despite it being different. A part of the lycan wished to learn the language more. Wanting to know a little more than just one phrase. Sure, it was all he really needed, but perhaps someday he could learn more. He followed as his husband moved to lay down on the bed once more, and he felt unable to do anything but follow him. The admittance made him frown, because he wasn't sure he quite understood, but it seemed like the human noticed and explained it further. Gritting his teeth softly at how he was being grabbed, it took everything in him not to grind against him once more.
"I'm just happy to have my husband here with me .. and while I miss your cold, I've grown to love the sound of your heart when it starts to beat faster," he smiled. In the beginning it had been hard to adjust to that sound, but now it was starting to grow on him. Sure, Eden being human felt different, but not all of it was bad. "If you down want me to get hard, you'll need to stop grabbing me like that," he admitted with a soft sigh. Eden was all he truly wanted, there was no doubt about it. "I actually like the beard against my skin .. it's soft and tickles a bit on my skin," he smiled, kissing him once more, just relaxing there on top of him. "I wish I could look into your beautiful eyes, but I can feel how happy you are, and maybe that is all I need to really feel safe; just to feel how loved I am." It was a ponder, but it wasn't far from the truth.

Chuckling softly at the notion of him growing a beard too he just shook his head no. "I would look horrible with a beard," he argued, but perhaps it was because he felt like his beard wouldn't grow out as strong and full as what Eden's felt like. The question about remembering his eyes made him hum. "I remember them being kind and vulnerable when we would lay like this," he said, leaning his head against the palm of the human's hand. It felt nice to have the focus be on feelings and light touches. "And how wild your eyes would get with need whenever I tease you," he smiled. Of course he couldn't let go of the inner brat, but at least Eden knew that to begin with.
"But what I remember best is the color; blue and green like a forest and a sky and how they just made everything make sense to me," it was hard to describe, "they felt like home." He felt a little overwhelmed with his own admittance, but smiled softly. He kissed him gently, nuzzling their noses together, albeit a little clumsily. "Tell me how I feel to you now" urging him to tell him everything.

Romeo hummed and nodded, "the doctors said that the color might come back as soon as my body is done fighting the venom, but that my vision would either be gone or very bad." That was some sort of comfort, right? That there could be something that returned to normal, even if it was eyes that were bad. Romeo didn't really care if his sight would be bad, being close to Eden and seeing his face would be all he would want to see if he ever got his vision back. "I'm trying to be hopeful, but many of the doctors are unsure, and everyone has a different theory," he said, turning his head and kissing his thumb that had been caressing him.
The notion of how he felt made Romeo feel a little proud. He was still beautiful? Though he wondered if the former vampyre would ever find something about him that wasn't appealing. The notion about protection made him scoff, pressing his forehead against his lover's. "You don't have to be stronger than me to pump me full of love," he argued, smiling softly as he kissed his nose. Yeah, he was slowly getting a hand on navigating his face, and it felt good. "I haven't been able to .. get excited .. for a while," he admitted. Basically admitting that the last time he had gotten off was back in their apartment. He hated that part of his illness. But he was starting to eat more consistently now, and it was clear to see from how his body looked. "And right now all I have to do was think of you and I'd get hard right away," he whispered, taking a shuddering breath, because Eden could so easily look down and see what he meant. "I think that's why I was so upset when we stopped .. I feel so needy .. so touch deprived and longing for the release only you can give me." He wasn't trying to be vulgar, rather his tone of voice was vulnerable and caring.

Romeo nodded confirming it was indeed erections. His doctors had spoken about it a lot, whether it stemmed from the medicine or his eating disorder was hard to say right now. But just the fact that he could get hard right now he wanted to just live it out, because he was afraid if that ability was going to be gone soon. "I've struggled with it before .. like when I don't eat enough and stuff," sure, he was strong now, but Eden hadn't seen that side of him. Perhaps because the former vampyre just really knew how to please him, maybe it was just pure luck or maybe a mix of both? It was truly not up to him to say. "I just .. I'm scared that if I go limp then you won't think I'm as into it as I am," he admitted, squeezing him a little closer. He knew that sometimes things happened that was out of his control, but he wanted Eden to know that nothing in the world could ever stop him from wanting him. "But when you can't even jerk off to the thought of your own boyfriend .. it feels so hopeless .. especially when I'm so needy."
Eden was right of course. They both had to be ready, and it wasn't like Romeo was unaware of that fact. He had just been rather caught up in the emotions and feelings of the moment. The way forward was slow, and the lycan felt his way to the human's shoulder, leaning more carefully down to it. Kissing him gently, he didn't say much, just letting his hands move around his back. It was gentle and slow. "Can you bite me?" He whispered against his skin. He knew it perhaps was a stupid request, but Romeo just needed that feeling. Even if Eden couldn't pierce his skin, it didn't matter. It was the bite that counted in his mind. Plus was it really that strange of a request when he had been so used to his husband biting him in the past? "I want you to claim me as you are right now .. bite as hard as you can .. I want to really feel it," and by feel it was clear he didn't mean the pressure. He wanted to feel the emotions that came along with a bite. That strong connection that it had for them.

The tease made him blush hard, "it wouldn't be the same," he just muttered, and he was right in that. Eden could just reach better, and the angle always felt so awkward. Sure, he could do it in the moment, but what good would he be all stretched out with no-one to fill him up afterwards? No, he would've been more disappointed in himself if he had even tried, which he hadn't. Instead he just felt rather sad that it was sorta how it was now. Not that he blamed Eden, he had done everything right when the situation had turned bad. Romeo still felt guilty for trying so hard to get it to happen. It hadn't been fair to either of them.
Feeling the warm breath made him shudder in delight, the sharp teeth making him groan softly, and while it didn't quite get deep down to draw blood, it was some rather deep dents he had made. "Fuck baby .. you're just riling me up again," he admitted in a soft sigh, loving how that felt. It felt normal, as weird as it sounded. But Eden's fangs sinking into his skin had always been so erotic to him. There was few things that made the lycan's blood pump around so fast, but this did the trick. "Did it feel good?" He smiled, feeling how the bite had seemed to make the former vampyre feel good too. He wasn't sure if it was simply the familiarity or perhaps something else, but he had liked it too. "You can keep doing it if you want .. I really like it," he admitted, kissing the side of his head.

Romeo let out a surprised moan as his butt was grapped, his hips bucking against Eden rather much in a needy fashion. He was clearly a bit flustered over his own action, apologizing softly. Then the former vampyre suggested something that made his lower abdomen tighten up, all his muscles flexing at the notion of his husband biting him all over. "Yes," he managed to mutter, so clearly red in the face like never before. He was practically heaving after his touch like never before. "Please, my husband, claim my whole body," he whispered in a soft plea. It was a genuine plea, one of need and love combined. While the indentations would disappear fast, it was such a wonderful feeling to have those tempered lips agains his skin. And the fact that the teeth were sharper than a regular human too only made it better. "I want you to try and bruise me," he said, because the human couldn't pierce his skin, but a bruise would still last a day if he was lucky. "I just want to be able to look at where you've claimed me," he admitted.

He was urged to lay down and he was helped around so he wouldn't just tumble. It was clear how affected his body was. He reached for Eden as he asked if things were alright, touching whatever he bumped into. "Just .. warn me a little .. tell me where you are, and what you're going to do," he muttered softly and as Eden did that, biting down he squirmed in delight. "Ah, Eden!" He moaned louder than he had expected, his body shuddering with need, and the more the human did, the more Romeo began to pant and get his breath caught in his throat. It was so impossible to lay still, and yet he had to.
"Yeah .. there again," he muttered, tears in his eyes from how good it felt, especially on the insides of his thighs, feeling how it was like electricity running through his body. His member was actually starting to hurt a little by how turned on he was, but frankly it was the best kind of pain to be in. "It hurts," he whispered running his hands down along his own stomach as he just had to touch himself a little to relieve that pent up emotion. He felt so sensitive, moaning vulnerably even if it was his own touch.