Reality check - Bittersweet reminder[cw]

Buffy hadn't really told Baal the result of any of her tests, mostly because she felt surreal looking at them. She had made sure to discard them in a place where he would never look. She felt a knot in her chest, looking at a small box she held in her hand. Within it was a small pregnancy test, one of the expensive ones that Aiden had managed to get a hold of. She hadn't looked at it yet, mostly because she felt like she wanted to look at it with Baal. She had seen how he had gotten better, but this was something she wanted to do when he had healed pretty well. As he sat down beside her, she felt her body relax in to his massaging motions, sighing as a few pops came from her joints. His words made her eyes sting, but she had decided not to cry. Buffy knew this had been coming, knew that he would have to return before he got dragged back. Simply nodding she handed him the small box, standing up and moving over to stand by the window. She didn't feel like she could see the results, she just stared out and on the the roofs of the other apartment buildings. She was shaking a little bit, mostly from the tense feeling she had in her chest. "Please ... Tell me what it says," she pleaded. She had taken it, followed the instructions to the tee and now she just wanted answers. She looked down at her stomach, placing a hand over it. All of the other tests she had taken were all fully blown positive, so she knew that the chances of this one being negative was slim. "Then ... Then we'll figure it out from there," she said, holding back a small sob as she just feared the worst.

Going back was definitely not some burning desire of his, but Baal had realized how severe the consequences could get if they waited it out for as long as they could. It was better to be ahead than waiting, or at least that was what he told himself. He looked at the box as she handed it to him, frowning a little confused at it before he watched her move to the window in the corner of his eye. He opened the box, to narrow his eyes at the little pregnancy test that laid so nicely within. Her plea made him look up at her for a bit, before he turned his eyes back to the inside of the box. He had been concerned about the tests but he hadnt wanted to pressure her in any way, but the thought had been there; What would it be? He turned the test around to read the answer, sitting for a moment while he was just staring at it. He placed the test back in the box before he got up from his seat and moved to her, cupping her face so lovingly in his hands as a bright smile crept up on his lips, suppressed joy from eyeing the answer creeping out from it's hiding "It's positive," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her lips in a tender long kiss. He leaned away after a bit for a moment to get some air, pushing himself a little closer to her, "We're gonna be parents," he mumbled a little breathless before he leaned down to greet her lips again. All the thoughts about the Order and that? Pushed aside for the moment, for the confirmation that they had both been waiting for.

She felt her whole body tense for a moment, hearing that he opened the box. She didn't know what she hoped for, but she was anxious anyways. He didn't say anything, and Buffy just kept looking out the window. Soon he was in front of her, cupping her face. His smile confused her, frowning because she couldn't tell if he was relieved that it was negative or happy that it was positive. His whisper made her open her eyes, looking at him with tears in her eyes, blinking a few times as she started smiling as well.The kiss felt bittersweet, but she leaned in to how tender it was, feeling herself whimper a little as he leaned away. Chuckling a bit she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to him as he said that they were going to be parents. Buffy couldn't help but giggle a little, a few tears escaping her eyes as she leaned in to the kiss. Her body relaxing in to his as if she could melt with him right now. She felt herself crave him more, she couldn't tell why. "We are really going to be parents," she whispered, feeling a little choked up at the emotions. She was crying, but the tears were happy, almost relieved to at least have a definitive answer. She looked at him, placing a hand against his cheek, stroking his cheek softly. She just looked in to his eyes, the wonderful sea of grass that just made her smile more brightly. She was shaking a little, mostly from having the tension relieved. "You're going to be a daddy," she chuckled a bit, feeling like this was surreal, leaning her forehead against his chest, crying a little because she felt so happy and scared at the same time. She had thought that children would come eventually, but this early? She had not expected that.

As worried as he may have seemed about the whole pregnancy for the fact that he was a daemon and knowledge was limited on how it would affect her, there was still a great deal of joy for the fact that she was carrying his child. It wasnt something he had thought he had ever wanted, but now when he was with her, it couldnt be a more appealing thought to mind - Well, he hadnt really thought about it before she had mentioned it for him when he was wounded, because who would really be thinking about all that with the secrecy that they had had to deal with?
He moved his hands down her face to wrap around her body without breaking the kiss. Her whisper made him scoff a little overwhelmed by the thought. He started kissing her around her face in gentle small kisses, wishing he could just tear up his being and show her just how joyful he was. He sighed at her words, stroking her back in gentle strokes as he held her close, "Yeah..." he said a little dreamingly as he looked out on the city. He pulled her closer, blinking a few times as he felt his sight get a little blurry, sniffling shortly before he leaned down to lift her up in his arms, wanting her as close as he could get her, "I am far too old-fashioned to not just try and marry you right this second," he said in a sigh, running his hand up her back to entangle his fingers softly with her hair. He thought about it for a bit, looking down at her before he shook his head, "But I also want to marry you because it's what my heart's yearning and not just our current circumstances," he said smiling lovingly at her yet frowning a little at himself.

Buffy didn't know what she liked the most, but seeing how he looked so dreamy at the thought of being called that. She felt her body so close to his, smiling at him but exclaiming a small giggle as he lifted her up in his arms, wrapping her legs around his hips. Looking at him she thought she might be dreaming. His sweet words about their promise made her well up a bit more, if that was even possible at this point. Life was always going to be a rollercoaster of emotions, but she knew as long she had Baal by her side she would find her happiness. Her eyes closed halfway as she felt his fingers entangle with her blonde strands, sighing in content to be near him. She didn't really know what to say, but it seemed like he was speaking his thoughts out loud. "Love ... If you're proposing to me you need to do it right," she chuckled, feeling a few tears run down her cheeks. She was happy, and most of all joyous to be in his arms, but if he had any intentions of asking for her hand he had to ask her. Not just tell about his thoughts. "So what will it be?" she asked, a small giggle escaping her lips as she tried to remove the tears on her cheeks.

Buffy noticed how he seemed surprised, or maybe taken aback for a moment. She had always been direct, but she could feel her stomach turn in excitement. The sweet words and subsequent soft kisses made her giggle. Of course he would make it over the top, or at least make it something extravagant. Returning the brief kiss she felt the ground beneath her feet, a bit happy to be standing again. Maybe holding her up like that wasn't the best idea when he was still in remission. Looking at her own hand as he grabbed it she widened her eyes in surprise, only to gasp lightly as he actually moved down on one knee. She couldn't believe that he was actually doing it now, and as he spoke she felt a little relieved. Just doing things on a whim was far from his norm. His question made her chuckle lightheartedly, moving to sit on her knees in front of him. "Of course," she replied, her other hand moving up to his cheek, caressing his cheekbone lightly before leaning closer to kiss him lightly. Placing their foreheads together she sat on her knees for a while, just taking in the moment. "Take me to bed ... Then we'll speak about everything," she whispered sweetly. She felt her body aching for him, but she also needed to rest a bit.

A few things were for certain, one of them never being able to get enough of her daemon. His gentle touches and sweet lips always made her know how loved she was. Moving to the bed she felt a little relieved. She wasn’t showing yet, and she thanked the gods for that, mostly because she had to figure out a way to tell her family without her aunt freaking out. Being in his arms she nodded at his promise, but she couldn’t help but feel the need to add to it. “Nothing could keep me away from you,” she whispered in a vulnerable voice. Feeling his lips move against hers made her forget her worries. She was rather surprised as he pulled her closer, feeling how he grasped at her clothes she knew how this was affecting him. Breaking the kiss slowly she looked at him. “Belial, I’m already pregnant,” she giggled in teasing but she wanted him closer too. It was hard distinguishing between the need and love that she felt for him. It was layers of devotion if anything. Her hand moved down over his chest, feeling herself tremble a bit because she felt like he could wrap her around his fingers. She longed for him, mostly because she was so happy to have him just for a little while longer.

Buffy chuckled lightly at his words. Of course it hadn’t been the plan, but she hadn’t regretted it. Even if she barely knew the implications, she felt like she could do this. She felt almost empowered by it, thinking why they would even waste their time worrying about starting a family. Buffy knew she loved him, and that he loved her; Was there really anything else to it? Being in his arms she felt like she belonged, and she felt the need to keep it like this forever. Freeze time and stay like this for as long as possible. Baal’s kisses moved down to her neck and she sighed softly as she stretched a little to give him more room. His confession about his longing for her made her heart flutter, giggling as she felt her body relax at his touch but tense at his words. “I long for you too,” she whispered softly, a small whisper escaping her lips as his lips touched all over her neck. She felt safe and yet so vulnerable. She wanted him, and maybe just indulging themselves before they needed to plan their next move was not a bad idea. Her hand moved down from his chest, touching the lower part of his abdomen with her fingertips. “Are you sure that you’re healed enough?” she asked in a soft plea, her body slowly being riled up by his tender touches and the way he was tugging at her clothes.

Has he moved to be between her legs she looked up at him with a smile on her lips, mostly because she felt rather relieved to have him close. His admittance made her frown slightly, not in a judgmental way, more in a concerned way. However her concern was soon replaced as he grabbed around her, turning them around and having her on top. She couldn't help herself from moaning softly, feeling the bulge under her, making her hips jerk by their own accord. His words made a faint chuckle escape, pressing her own lips against him in a tender greeting. Her hips moved slowly and teasingly against him as she simply kissed him with the love she felt in her chest for him. One of her hands moved to his head, running her fingers through his thick locks and wondering if their child would bear that feature. If it was up to her, she wanted their child to look just like Baal did, his features so lovely to her eyes. "It's only been three weeks," she chuckled softly, but she knew he was right. She had gotten a taste of the sweet nectar he possessed, and now she wanted it again. The thought of marrying him popped up in her head again, thinking back to their first night where he had promised to make her see stars. Saying that she might want to call him fiancee after that, and he had been right. She had wanted to marry him on the spot after that night, even if it had been a rash thought. "But I agree," she whispered almost alluring. She wanted to feel like this forever, feel how he wanted her and that she wanted him back. There was a beautiful symmetry to that thought. "We're here alone ... Xander won't be home for a couple of hours," she whispered, touching his cheek before she got off of him. She stood up, looking at him with her eyes flaming so brightly behind the green. Wrapping and arm around one of the bedposts she held a hand out to him. "Have a bath with me," she said, a cheeky smile on her lips. She still longed for him, but she also thought that taking it slow for the sake of him healing might be their best course of action.

He felt her grind so slow against him, he groaned under his breath with pleasure, though her lips on his felt like she was trying to swallow his reaction to what she did to him. "Three weeks... That's a long time compared to how much I long for you," he argued as he placed his hands on her hips. Feeling her on him like this was something that he realized he had missed, even if it wasnt usually how he did things. He smiled at her whisper, looking up at her with longing eyes. He felt her tone to be cruel in a way because he just found himself wanting her more and more. As she spoke of them being alone, he bit his lip a little, running his hands up her sides but then she got off of him. The confusion clear on his face with a tilt of his head he wasnt sure what he was supposed to think. He looked at her hand as she reached out for him, pinching his lips together as he narrowed his eyes a little at her, "A bath?" he asked a little confused, but he still took her hand, using his other to push himself up so she didnt have to pull. "Are you trying to tease me?" he asked her a little sceptical, but there was a smile over his lips. He would follow her either way.

Oh his sweet words just did it for her, especially today it seemed. The confirmation about her actually being pregnant, the promise of him wanting to propose to her. Everything just seemed so nice, even if they had to be careful going forward. She could see how confused he was as she got off of him, but she couldn't hide a smile as he took her hand and moved to stand in front of her. Looking up at him she chuckled at his question shaking her head no. "I'm trying to prolong our time together," she whispered softly, looking at their hands as she entangled their fingers. Buffy loved the feeling of his fingers pressed against her own, because they just seemed to fit so perfectly together. Like their hands were made for holding on to one another in this tight grip. Walking out to the bathroom she walked to the tub where she had to let go of his hand to manage the water temperature. She picked a temperature that would be a little colder than she was used to, but it would be hot enough for her not to feel cold. "This; This is teasing," she said, straightening her back as she removed her shirt slowly. Her eyes not even leaving his as she undressed. If he tried moving closer she would step away, making him need to wait until she was fully undressed to even go near her. She stood for a while, looking at him with her cheeks blushing slightly.

"I see," he said wrapping his fingers around her hand with a small smile over his lips. He couldnt deny that these simple gestures bore their own pleasure but his mind had locked on something else for the time being. Didnt stop him from caressing the back of her hand with his fingers as best as he could without letting go. Following her out to the bathroom he didnt want her to let go. He let her do her thing, though he would have preferred staying close to her. Her words made him sigh deeply as she started pulling off her shirt. Of course he moved closer but she wouldnt have it. So he stood there, grinding his teeth a little anxiously in agony as she just slowly undressed herself. "You're cruel," he said while he could just stand there and wait for her to be done. His eyes slowly followed her hands as she got out of her clothes, when she was done he stood for a moment, just taking her in. He moved closer when he was finally allowed, looking down at her face as he placed an arm around her to push her closer. "I want you," he whispered in a beg. He ran his hand down her back, feeling her skin against his palm, sighing in delight at the tingles that he felt just at something as simple as feeling her skin. "It's paining me," he said, biting his lip a little.

His statement made her gasp in pretend, placing a hand over her barren chest, but she quickly softened up. As she was fully undressed she let him come near, feeling him press her closer and the sensation of his palm flat against her skin made her sigh. He said he wanted her, but she wanted to drag it out for a little longer. It was as if the tides had been reversed and while last time she was begging and pleading, this time it was him. Hearing him say how it hurt made her nod, because she knew how that felt. Her hands moved carefully around to his back and lifted his shirt over his head, kissing his chest gently. She let his shirt just drop to the floor, as she was too preoccupied with kissing his chest in soft pecks. "You already have me," she promised. She was not leading him on for forever, she just wanted to use their time together wisely. She wanted to get to know him more, know his whole body and what made it sing. Her hands moved around to the front once more, slowly undoing his belt and zipping down his pants. "Patience," she whispered, almost as if to remind herself to take it slow. She was aching too, wanting him just to grab her and make her feel what only he could, but there was nothing tender in that. And what she needed right now was not lustful endeavors, she needed her daemon to understand the yearning she felt for him. She wanted to enjoy every last second she had with him before their bubble would be popped by reality, and was that not a fair trade? She heard the water from the tub being about time to run the soap in to it. Letting him undress the rest of the way for himself as she tended to the water. She had a feeling that baths would never be the same without him, but that bittersweet thought she kept to herself. This was about them taking their time, having the intimacy they both longed for and not to mention the need for relaxation.

He wasnt used to not being the one in control, even less to to be the one who was teased like this. But he could also tell that it was something she wanted to do, so he wasnt going to ruin the moment for her, even if he felt the pressure of underwear and pants so strongly. He just wanted her so bad, it hadnt been a lie when he said it was paining him. He moved his arms up to let her pull the shirt off of him, watching her as she made her small pecks on his chest. He closed his eyes, sighing softly as her kisses while her words made him smile a little, “You know what I mean,” he said a little impatiently, biting his lip again as his muscles tensed at the tension he felt inside. He held back and the notion of having to wait wasnt something his lower half seemed too keen of. Her undoing of his pants made the tension a little more bearable but his impatience hadnt dulled down by one bit. He wanted her, more than words could describe or his mind unfold in any sense. “How can I fight every fiber in my being that’s just begging me to become one with you?” He purred as he looked at her eyes with such certainty in the words he spoke. It wasnt as much a question to be answered as it was a conclusion on his behalf. She turned to add soap to the water and he took the moment to get out of his remaining clothes, and calm himself a little. In the time he had gotten off his clothes, some of the tension inside had subsided from not being close to her and being able to touch her, which didnt bother him as he otherwise thought he would be ready to pounce and ruin the moment. He moved up to her to wrap his arms around her once more, a short sigh leaving his lips as he held her, thinking a little to himself while he watched the soapy water.  He wet his lips before he spoke again, “But as much as I want to be one with you, it’s not only about that,” he then said with a small smile, reminding himself that there was more to it than just the act alone. He gestured for her to get in, just for him to follow, placing himself behind her rather than them facing each other. He sighed at the warmth that engulfed them, but he wasnt unsure whether she liked it, “You could have made it warmer if you wanted,” he said, pulling her closer to him before he wrapped his arms around her, placing his hands on her stomach.

His question was a tough one, mostly because she didn't know what to answer. She could feel her need too, but she felt like making their moments last longer would be better. It would be easy to give in to temptation, but actually working each other up, feeling their skin rub together, it would just make the release that much more enjoyable. As she turned around to tend to the water she could hear his clothes drop to the floor, the soft thump of fabric hitting the ground giving her small goosebumps. She stood up straight once more, looking at him as he spoke, chuckling a bit, mostly because she had just been thinking those words. His gesture made her nod, getting in before she soon felt him behind her. She sighed as he pulled her closer, leaning her head back against his shoulder as she looked up at him. "I know," she whispered, she just didn't want him to be uncomfortable with the heat. She was pretty sure she could bathe in boiling water and still hope for it to be warmer. "I just wanted an excuse to be closer to you," she spoke softly, looking up at him as she felt his hands on her stomach. Closing her eyes her body relaxed for a while. "I keep trying to imagine what it will be like," she admitted. "What it will be like to have a child ... Raise something together ..."

Feeling her close to him in the warm water was nice, so hearing her confess to the temperature as a ploy to be closer to him, he chuckled a little heartily while he rubbed his nose into her hair, smelling the nice hint of lavender. He listened to her words, looking down at her before she continued, where he turned his eyes to his hands on her stomach. "I could imagine it would be a glimpse of the afterlife," he said, frowning a little with a silly smile as neither of them would really get to know what the afterlife was like. He ran his thumbs down her skin, adjusting himself to sit a little more comfortably, "I just know  that whatever it may be, I'm glad that it is with you," he mumbled while he pressed his lips gently to her scalp. He closed his eyes for a moment, smiling a little to himself, "But I am terribly terrified of diapers," he admitted as he started chuckling.

Hearing him say that he was glad that it was with her made her heart flutter so nicely. The way he held his hands on her stomach felt almost protective, but she could also understand why. She leaned closer to him, looking up at him she could just about reach his chin, kissing it softly. The way he spoke about diapers made her giggle, shaking her head as she opened her eyes to look at him. "I'll take all of the diapers as long as you keep us safe," she whispered softly. She did feel safe, safer than she could ever be, even if the outside loomed with the unknown. She sighed. "What breaks my heart is that on paper our child will never be ours," she whispered in a sad voice. She knew that was out of the question. If there was a record of the child, then the Order would know. It hurt her heart, knowing that she would have to do such a thing, but she also knew that if it meant the safety of their child, then she would do it. She felt a few tears escape her eyes, closing them again as if it would help making them disappear. Taking a few deep breaths she tried finding that relaxing place once more. She was worried, but who wouldn't be in their situation. "I'm sorry ... This was meant to be more lighthearted," she mumbled, wiping away a few tears.

He nodded at her whisper as he looked at her, it wasnt even a question for him whether he would keep her and the child safe. He would do almost about anything to make sure nothing would happen to them. Her sad voice made him frown a little as he looked at her. It was something they had to figure out and in a way he could understand why she felt sad about it. But he had been raised before a system was made to keep track of people, so for him it didnt matter that much. He lifted a hand from her stomach to place on her cheek as she made her apology, smiling softly at her as he shook his head, "Dont apologize my love. For better and for worse, I want you either way," he said before he gave her forehead a few gentle pecks. "But papers mean nothing, not in the full picture. She will still be ours, even if some papers in a locked building says otherwise," he assured her, running his thumb along her cheekbone while he held his eyes on hers for a little longer. He hadnt forgotten that she had been certain of their child being a girl. He leaned down to kiss her lips, closing his eyes for a moment, "Papers can be burned," he said in a soft tone against her lips, trying to bring some light to the situation.

His gentle touches always made her relax more, simply hearing him as he spoke she nodded. She felt his soft lips against her forehead, making her sigh with a small sad undertone. She knew papers were nothing compared to the actual bond that they would share, but perhaps it was because in her mind everything just fit so perfectly together. Getting married, having a child, getting a place of their own. She knew not everything was something that could just happen, but it was the details that made her upset. Like the fact if her family would even be supportive, though she doubted that Xander would ever shun her, she knew the rest of her family to be in strong belief of Verity. What if her aunt decided to never see her again? There was a lot of heartache regarding such delicate things. His thumb along her cheekbone made her lips separate as she relaxed more, feeling his lips press against hers made her smile faintly, returning the kiss in a tender motion. His whisper made her chuckle slightly, opening her eyes to look at him. "Marry me," she pleaded sweetly. She felt her heart race as she looked at him. She knew it was more of a demand rather than actually a proposal. "Not ... Not in the traditional way; I'll let you have that still, but ... Belial, I need to feel bound to you," she said, frowning as she moved out of his arms, turning around so she was looking at him. Placing a hand on each side of his face she looked at him. "Let me bind myself to you," she pleaded. She knew not if he knew of the fenix way of actually binding together two souls. If he was even willing to risk it.

Her plea made him swallow as he narrowed his eyes a little at her. She went to explain and he tilted his head a little as she moved around to face him. He wasnt sure what she was implying until she said it again. He frowned a little as he grabbed one of her hands on his face to hold it between his. He looked down at it for a bit as he thought about it, though his face didnt really show any conclusion. He looked up at her before he made a small nod, "If it doesnt harm our child, then I couldnt see why I shouldnt say yes," he said, pinching his lips as he looked down at her hand again. "How would this bond be made?" he then asked, lifting her hand to his lips, closing his eyes for a moment. She didnt know but he would risk it all for her, if it meant he wouldnt have to fear losing her. But who would have said no to the opportunity to be with the one they loved forever?