Reality check - Bittersweet reminder[cw]

Her answer made him frown a little, though he knew she was right, didnt mean that the thought alone of ever harming her hurt like nothing else. Her addition made him swallow - Somehow the words felt like ice cold water poured down his spine. But that was because they were talking about one od his worst fears that had revolved around the bad dream - That he would somehow hurt her even unintended. He moved his eyes down to their hands as she did, readjusting his grip subtly as he listened to her. He looked back up at the mention of anger, regret clearly all over his face, but at the same point he felt like it was something that had been needed in a way. A little late but she had to see all sides of him, even the ones he thought he had buried a long time ago. It had been close with Daniel but with Trent’s half-mark over Nova’s, it had been so easy. He wanted to say something as she looked back into his eyes but he wasnt sure it would be wise words. He didnt think they could really have peace not when he was still a fugitive and she going through a pregnancy.
She spoke of their future with their child and he felt like the words were more the likes of daggers than words of encouragement. “Buffy,” he said with a sigh, looking at their hands. “You know I’d do anything for our child. Anything to keep her safe. But I cant trust that either Nova or Trent has our best interest in mind,” he said before he looked at Nova. “I wont let you take that mark away. Stay if you’d like but I’m going to stay certain that neither of you could control me fully with this,” he said, showing his wrist with the mixed mark. “It’s ly final decision,” he said as he looked back at Buffy, giving her hands a squeeze before letting go. He felt so tired, not just from the lack of sleep but the thought that Nova had stirred in things he believed she shouldnt have meddled with and Trent’s words about their child.

Even with her plea and how he could easily see her certainty as she had guided his face back to hers, he just couldnt give in. He had chosen not to trust Nova and that meant he would need time to actually see if he had been wrong or not. So far he didnt feel Trent’s presence in the mark as he felt Nova’s. He had completely forgotten that Aiden and Xander would be coming back but he sort of felt like he wanted to be in bed before then. Feeling Buffy’s head on his chest let him know she was the same. “Let’s go sleep my love,” he said, grabbing her hand before walking to the bedroom. Inside he undressed, at least out of his shirt that felt a little damp from the heat of his anger, before he laid down with a thump. He made a deep sigh as he closed his eyes for a moment, placing his hand over his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled a little sad after a while of silence.

He could have drifted off in an instant but he told himself that he could spare a few more minutes before letting that happen. Feeling her crawl closer made him feel less like the villain he felt he had been. Her lazy kisses were just as nice as her normal ones because he knew she was trying to do something nice. He lifted his hand from his eyes to wrap around her and push her closer to him. He shook his head at her words, looking at her before he placed his hand on her cheek, caressing her cheek with his thumb. Carefully he moved his hand into her hair to massage her scalp nicely. Her whisper made him exhale quite relieved. “Things will get easier once we’ve secured our bond,” he said but he just frowned a little at his own words and moved his hand out of her hair to wrap around her as well before he sighed. “That wasnt very romantic said of me,” he mumbled before he looked into her eyes, “What I meant: I’m not changing my mind either. You’re still the only one I’m this eager to be bound to,” he said in a softspoken tone, leaning down to kiss her lips rather tender.