And so we mend [cw]

Reaching her spot just as she was telling him that she loved him too made his core spin faster, his movements going just a little faster as he aimed to hit her spot over and over with his full length. Her walls and the soft ripples stroking against him made him feel like he could implode at any point. He moaned so deep but as he felt himself get closer and closer, his moans lightened as the pressure started to build up. It didnt help that she claimed him in sweet mumbles that made his whole body tingle. He was hers, he wanted to whisper it, he wanted to scream it and let the whole world know. “I’m close,” he warned her in a soft purr, letting her decide whether they were going all the way or not. A part of him wanted to, but that was just because he wanted the satisfaction of knowing he had met her needs. He wasnt really thinking straight, because if he had there would definitely have been more cautions to his movements, instead of this primal behaviour of wanting to reach deeper inside of her.

Even though he had warned her, it was like he would fight it right until his body would give in on it’s own. He was like this every time, always wanting it to last a little longer, but maybe that was why his need for her never seemed to dull down. Her moan and permission made it harder for him to hold back, his moans becoming strained as he kept the pace the same. “You’re mine,” he whispered longingly but with the strain from holding back so apparent in his voice that he sounded a little hoarse. It was like she knew what he wanted to hear and as she moaned for him to give in, he did. Feeling her walls cramp around him made him push against her, because as tight as she had been, now it felt like she was trying to push him out. He was clinging onto her as she clung to him, and he had to keep his focus to look at her as he let out a soft roar of her name, otherwise his eyes would have went up his skull as the intoxicating high rushed through his system and he whimpered to the immense feeling of the aftershock. He made a few lazy strokes, gasping softly for air before he collapsed on top of her, his body radiating the heat that had build up from what they had just done. He felt that fine layer of sweat on his forehead but he didnt really care about that now. He cleared his throat before he turned his head to look at her, his eyes quite serious. “I love you,” he whispered in a vulnerable tone, kissing her lips gently if she looked at him. He didnt want to move away yet, but he knew he had to. He just wanted a few more seconds, just to lie here and feel their hearts beat in sync.

Her confession made him chuckle, though his breath still carried a little of the hasty speed it had had before. “That’s good, I’m not going to get enough of you either,” he whispered sweetly, holding her tight still, as if letting go would hurt him. It did feel that way because it had been so long since they had been allowed to be together this way. Her sad words made him chuckle lightheartedly as he kissed her cheeks gently, “I know,” he mumbled against her skin, before pushing himself up to gently remove himself from her inside. He groaned softly at the feeling and rolled onto his back, next to her before pulling her close. “I need to go sort out your bath,” he said in a low tone before he looked down her stomach and made a soft sigh. “If it turns out that we’ve done something reckless, I just want you to know that I dont mind. Whatever that comes, we’ll handle, together,” he said in a more serious tone, taking one of her hands before gently placing it at his beating heart. “We are two of one now. The bond has proven that over and over,” he said, smiling a little.

Her confession made him smile bright, placing his hand over hers on his heart before entangling their fingers. He could see that she was searching for some words to say and he waited patiently as his thumb caressed the side of her hand. He chuckled softly and looked down for a moment as he thought about it. “This house would be running with small feet in no time,” he teased but he just shook his head and lifted her hand to kiss it. He laid there for a while before he got up to prepare her bath, telling her to stay put and let him do all the work. He turned the faucet and let the water run warm. He looked around for a moment before finding the bath soap, pouring in just a little to make it nice and bubbly. He chuckled a little to himself as he remembered Saoirse’s first bath, how the toddler loved all the small bubbles and even tried to eat some. He then frowned a little when he felt an ache in his chest, placing a hand over the artifact.

He was used to the pain the artifact could inflict on him but as soon as he heard her plea, he knew it wasnt just about him. He gritted his teeth before he tried to move, only to feel his body oddly weak. It was like the part of him that the artifact had consumed to stay alive was kept in a chokehold. He only feared what it was doing to Buffy. He strained himself as he went to her, reaching her, he couldnt stand and just sat down as he pulled her with him. He held her close and felt her shake. “It’s alright,” he spoke in a gentle voice but there was an underlying worry in him. He didnt know what was happening or why it was happening. “If you relax, it hurts less,” he promised her, but that was by daemon standards. She had seraphim blood in her, could she really handle it?

Everything had gone so well and now he feared that it had been the calm before the storm. It was fitting with the amount of time it had taken the artifact to blind him back then, but she couldnt feed it souls like he could. So it only brought the question as to what did it want instead? Her screams made him feel so worried and yet so helpless, able to just sit by and tell her to relax. He didnt even know what to say that could help her soothe the pain, because he didnt know what was happening to her. He drew in a shaky breath, trying to touch her, only to realize that he was going through her skin. He withdrew his hand, knowing how it hurt him when Alyssa stuck her hand inside him the same way. “Buffy please,” he begged, wishing she could say something that could point his head in a solution, but maybe that was just a hope and nothing more.

She was right, they would figure it out together. As calming as the thought should have been, he still felt a little taken aback by it - Solely because it was the fright of the unknown. When would it happen again? Could they protect their daughter from witnessing it? All these thoughts swirled around in his head and he could seem to hold onto one for long. Her suggestion made him nod however it would take him just a little while longer to actually just get up. Could they really go on with the day’s plan after what had happened? He decided to shake the aimless thoughts out of his mind and focused on what was current; The fact that she was still here and not in pain anymore. He let her move first before he got up from the floor, and just as he would have thought, the water was cold. He crouched down and started to empty it while he turned on the faucet once more. It wouldnt be cheap, but he guessed it wouldnt ease the water bill to explain how the water went cold, because your soulmate had some odd phasing trip that kind of stopped the process of using the water before it went cold. He made sure it was th right temperature again before he realized he had been awfully quiet. “I’m just... worrying.. in my head,” he said, though he knew that she knew, he still felt like he had to say it.

He envied how she could just stop her worries or at least not like them doninate her mind. It was like if he even tried to calm one, another would rise with deeper roots than it originally had. Feeling her hug calmed him a little, but he wrapped his arms around her tight like he was afraid to lose her if he let go. “I hope,” he mumbled, feeling guilty for not feeling as optimistic. When she spoke of it happening again, he wasnt sure if she actually thought it was just as simple as to wait it out. “I dont want you to be in pain,” he mumbled, pulling her closer till she let go. He watched her mix in the soap and oil, frowning a little, “Are you tense?” He asked but then he realized that it probably wasnt for her that she put it in.
Getting into the tub, he let out a deep exhale, pulling her closer as he just couldnt be away from her. He just sat quietly as his hands gently caressed her along her sides, running over her stomach, just getting that good reassurance that she was there and she was fine. He closed his eyes and took in a few subtle deep breaths. “I just cant seem to shake the feeling that this wouldnt have happened if I hadnt given in. If I had just been stronger for you and our daughter,” he then said. It wasnt something he had spoken of since it happened, but after whatever that the phasing had been, the guilt struck worse than ever.

Even though she disagreed, he still didnt feel as strong as she claimed him to be. But it wouldnt help much to argue about who was right and who wasnt. It wouldnt change what had happened and what it had cost them. He leaned into her hands on his cheeks as he nodded, feeling her thumbs gentle caress. Sometimes he wondered if she would ever get tired of him worrying, but that was probably just another worry to add to the list.
When she suddeny spoke of massaging him, he raised his eyebrow a little but followed her gesture and turned his back to her. Her request made him chuckle, as he looked back at her, “Are you serious about that?” He asked, but he should have known that she was. Looking back ahead he exhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a bit as he thought of what to say. “Nothing comes to mind... I could say many things about us or you, but me alone?” He said, frowning a little. He didnt know what was great about him. He drew in a sharp inhale when her finger hit a small tense bump, his body tensing up before he forced himself to relax and let her do her work. “The greatest thing about me is probably that I managed to capture your heart,” he then said, knowing it sounded cheesy and sweet, but it was the only thing that came to mind.

It was like he had forgotten what pain was till she started working on that knot. There was just something else about the pain you could feel from just the right amount of pressure on a spot filled with tension. He clenched his jaw and focused on listening to her, a few grunts leaving his mouth since she seemed so adamant on loosening it up. He chuckled when she started out by complimenting his looks, letting out a shaky exhale from the aftermath with the now relaxed muscle. It turned out that the other knots wouldnt hurt as much as that first one had, or maybe they hurt just as much but he had gotten used to it. Her words about him with their daughter made him smile but only a little. He had made sure to help her in the beginning and right up until he gave in to the artifact. It had cost him a small fragment of the time he could have spent with them as a family but thinking about that would just make him feel guilty again - Rightfully so but not now when she was trying to cheer him up.
He looked back at her as she spoke of them. “I remember when your brother told me to either show up or forget about you. The latter couldnt be an option, because I knew I wouldnt ever rest easy again if I had just left you alone. The risk of some day meeting you again and seeing you with someone else... May be a selfish perspective, but I couldnt handle the thought,” he said, grabbing one of her hands to pull in to his line of sight. He brushed her fingers gently with his on his free hand before lifting her hand to kiss her knuckles. “My greatest defeat in all this...” he said, knowing she had wanted him to speak nicely of himself. He chuckled in a soft scoff, “My greatest defeat must be the fact that I somehow still havent managed to ask for your hand in marriage,” he then finished, running his indexfinger down her ringfinger as he sighed to himelf but he had a soft smile on his lips, mostly because he was considering ways to propose to her.