New year, new me? Or whatever they say. [cw]

He didn't want to hurt him, he didn't want to be grasping this hard at him, but his body wasn't listening. His breathing was out of control, and the exercises that Jeremy wanted them to do together wasn't good for him either. But what he was trying to do, or at least hoped he was, was trying to feel him. Feel his emotions, feel anything but the violence running through his mind. The mumble made Damiano look at Jeremy, his eyes pained as he growled softly, but he wasn't putting more pressure on. In fact he seemed to feel better. Although knowing himself it could turn rather quickly.
But the way he felt his fingers on his arms was good. It was something he could relate to, even if he was a bit scared. With one hand he let go of the nephilim's shoulder, lifting it up to touch his face instead. Feeling the warm skin beneath his fingertips, the light facial hair on his cheek. "I'm sorry," he muttered, but he felt like he couldn't even feel that apology even now.

He really liked him. He could feel that. And yet he had such a hard time wrapping his mind around it. Whenever Damiano looked at Jeremy it was like he didn't have to worry about never feeling anything too much. What Jeremy made him feel he wanted to feel all the time, to a point that part of him believed to be addicted to the feeling alone. But then he said something he shouldn't have. That he didn't care what he did and it made him let go of Jeremy all together. Shaking his head. "No, you can't mean that," he objected walking away from him once more as he felt his anger make him shake again. Even if he had felt the emotions that made Jeremy seem truthful, he couldn't believe that anyone wouldn't at least care for the three students he had hurt today. He grabbed on to his desk, taking his anger out on it instead, it soon laying on the floor. His jewelry and books scattered on the floor as his face contorted in pain. He could barely feel himself. And that was when the door opened. Damiano's mother stepped in, placing a gentle hand on the nephilim's shoulder. She was a daemon, but she didn't seem deterred by the nephilim's aura. "Did he hurt you?" she asked very seriously before she looked to her son. It was clear that whatever was going on wasn't too out of the ordinary. Damiano snarled under his breath and his mother clicked her tongue, shaking her head as she gestured for Jeremy to leave the room for a while. But Damiano wasn't having it. He reached out, grabbing Jeremy and pulling him in close. Probably too close as he was pressing him almost possessively against his tall body. "Nano, let him go," her mother said in a deadly serious tone but it seemed that the hybrid was at a loss. He could feel his mother's frustrations, he could still feel his father's disappointment and worse he could feel Jeremy so close to him and how his heart was beating like crazy. His fingers dug in to Jeremy's back, and it probably hurt more than he thought it would, which made his mother worry. "Let him go, you don't want to hurt him, I know you don't," she said, trying to convince him to just let the poor boy go.

Damiano's mother was right to be worried, and yet she wasn't sure what to do. Her son had acted out of terms before, but never let anyone near when he was in such a mood. Let alone held someone close. "Let him go," she retorted to pleading, but it seemed to make Damiano hold Jeremy closer, shaking his head no as he looked at Jeremy. "He's mine," he growled. He had never been the possessive type, never tried to claim anyone that he knew he could never have, but he wanted Jeremy. Oh how he longed for the boy in his arms to know exactly what he made him feel. How many glances he stole when the nephilim was looking away. How many opportunities to hold his hand that he had let pass because he didn't want to ruin his perfect world. He was tired of pretending. Tired of playing the good boy who had all of the friends when in reality he was so lonely. Jeremy had broken through his walls, and as he cradled the nephilim closer to him he just wouldn't let go.
That was when something in him seemed to click, his face burying itself in the nape of Jeremy's neck, breathing in his scent as he felt all his senses tear him apart. Separating his lips, his teeth bit in to his flesh, his body tensing as he tasted blood, but also the raw emotion of pain. He held him so close, his jaw almost locking around his shoulder as his mother was now calling for her husband to come up and help her. And Damiano cried. His tears running down his face because he was hurting the nephilim. He was hurting the only person he really seemed to care for and he knew he would never be forgiven. And yet, it took away so many of the emotions that weren't his own. He could just focus on Jeremy, his heartbeat, his feelings and the pain in his shoulder.

He barely understood why he had done it. Perhaps because he wanted Jeremy, he wanted to feel just that slight bit of goodness and somehow his mind had taken it as take a bite out of the seraph, why dontcha. He heard the nephilim and the pain in his voice was hurting Damiano more than he could even express. The tears he had running down his face was from pure guilt at this point. But just as he thought he would never let go, he heard the sweet confession. Three words. That was all it took for the beast within him to calm down and he let go of Jeremy after that, staggering backwards, gasping for air as he slid down his wall, sitting amongst his broken desk pieces and jewelry.
Damiano's mother was by Jeremy's side in an instant just as his father reached the room. He looked at the mess before helping Jeremy out in to the kitchen where they could assess his wounds. Damiano looked defeated as his eyes followed the nephilim until he was out of sight. That was when he saw his mother towering over him and he started to cry. He still had blood on his face, his lips red and he could taste metal in his mouth. He had hurt him. He had hurt him and he had told him he loved him? He couldn't seem to find anything else than sadness in him, crying as his mother tried talking to him, but it all went on deaf ears.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Damiano's father was making sure that whatever his son had done to the poor nephilim would or could be fixed. "He's never been this out of control before," he said clearly hurt that his son was in so much pain that he had turned to hurting someone else. "Always been a bit unruly, but not much more than a lycan kid, I'll tell you that," he muttered, clearly not understanding it all. "He takes meds to keep himself in check, but he says it makes him feel numb ... I don't know which is worse," maybe he was just trying to talk, patching up the nephilim quite nicely as he had clearly done it before.

Damiano's father was rather surprised that Jeremy just up and left like that. He was putting a patch on his shoulder, but it was now left in his hand and he looked worried. But he had other things to worry about, such as his son that was now probably in a state of ruin. He came in to the bedroom, seeing the torn furniture and sighing as he went over to his kid. Damiano's father wasn't the tallest, but he had a lot of muscle, so he picked him up rather easily, moving him over to lay in his bed. They would have to look at fixing the table tomorrow, but for now they all really needed rest. Damiano's mother spoke about calling Jeremy's parents right away, but his father voiced against it, telling her that Jeremy might not want to disclose where he had been. Both of them then spent the rest of the evening and night watching over their disheveled son who was crying, sleeping and only waking to cry some more.

Zaira and Kurtis had been at the library, and were now finishing up the last bit of the assignment for English class. They were pretty much alone at this point and as they had found some cozy sofas she had decided to sit closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm getting hungry," she muttered, but she didn't want to go home yet. Going home meant that Kurtis had to go home as well. And she had a feeling that there might be some sort of punishment waiting for him. Turning her eyes away from the screen she looked at him instead, smiling slightly to herself. Then she leaned in, kissing his cheek gently her hand moving up to rest against his neck, feeling his warmth. This wasn't really what she had meant when she said she was hungry, but she felt like he had actually been on his best behavior as they had spent their time here. "Wanna go plunder the vending machine?" she whispered slightly teasing but also suggesting that she didn't mind staying here a while longer.

"Don't give me that shit," she muttered, looking at him with kind eyes. She had seen the panic in him, she could almost feel it. "I can stay a little longer," it wasn't too late anyways, and she closed the computer screen moving the laptop to the table instead. If he would press on and insist she would just roll her eyes, moving closer to him.
"The rest of the assignment is going to write itself," she said, her hand resting against his warm neck, sending him a small smile. "Library closes in 20 minutes ... So we still got time for a lil make out sesh," she whispered, leaning in to connect their lips. She didn't care if they got caught, people met up here to do much worse, and right now she wanted to give him a good sendoff at least.

"Never scared you before," she retaliated to his reminder. He surely didn't seem to heed his own warning as he slipped a hand under her shirt, making her smile against his lips. She had really missed him and feeling him just a little closer was what they needed. "Fuck," she swore under her breath, crawling up on his lap. It wasn't a good place to get caught, but at least it was after school hours. "I want you," she whimpered, but he knew that already. He could feel through her skin how she longed for him, but they couldn't risk it. Not here. Instead she moved her hips slightly, just trying to stifle herself although she knew it wouldn't be enough.

Fuck she just couldn't help herself, could she? But she also felt bad because she wasn't sure how far she was willing to take it. Her cheeks were flushed, gasping softly as he grabbed her butt and pulled her closer. She just buried her face in his hair, humming at his suggestion. "I don't think I'm that kind of girl," she muttered. It wasn't because she didn't want him, she had clearly stated that, it was more the thought of how impersonal it was. "I just don't think I'd be comfortable," she said, feeling her body shiver as his breath was against her breast. But then again. She wanted to make him happy. There was really nothing in this world she wouldn't do for him. "Is this what you need?" She whispered.

She did long for him, but she just didn't feel good about it being here. It seemed so far from what she knew and liked. She wasn't just a hook up, or was he trying to convince himself that she were? The shrug as a reply didn't give her that much to work with and she closed her eyes as he said it was fine. She felt sad. Sad because she wanted to be there for him, but she couldn't break out of her mental state and just getting over the fact of the matter of where they were. "I'm sorry," she said, the pain in her voice giving away just how disappointed she was in herself. He never asked for much, and now she felt.like she couldn't give him the one thing he craved. "I'm such a wimp," she muttered.

When he removed his hands she just felt more upset, getting off of him as she just shook her head. It wasn't his fault. She had started it and maybe she had been wrong in doing so. "I'm fine," she said, putting on a fake smile because she couldn't bear the thought of him hurting because of her. She was meant to be the one to soothe him and she had failed at that. "I'm, uhm, just gonna head home," she said as she started packing up her stuff. She couldn't give him what he needed. And would she ever be able to? She felt so conflicted. Their summer had been so great, they had laughed and partied together. They had spent nights on her balcony doing nothing but talking only to break it up with making out and then back to talking. But talking right now wasn't what Kurtis wanted, and the physical aspects she clearly couldn't provide. "I'm sorry ... I should be the last person you need to worry about," she said, moving hair out of her face as she bent down to grab her charging cable.

He stopped her and she looked at him a little frustrated. "What's happening is that I can't give you what you want right now," she said, feeling herself emotional, but she held off crying. She didn't want to guilt trip him as well, he was feeling like shit anyways. "You're hurting, and I want nothing more than to help you but I can't just ignore my own comfort, and I feel selfish and mean for not just ... Giving myself up to you, but I can't, that's not me," never had she felt so inadequate, like she was helpless in this whole situation.
"I love you, and I love being with you," she said, reaching out to touch his collar, being mindful not to touch his skin. He had already shied away from her touch once so she wasn't going to let herself get hurt another time. "But even you have to admit that it's fucked up that the only thing I can do is sleep with you to make you feel better," she didn't know whether to feel used or not, because she had clearly given him the place to just take from her what he wanted.

She felt cornered and now he was changing his demeanor. He got distant again. That first word was hard to swallow but then he went on. The end however. Fuck this. Was this his way of breaking up with her? Did she really mean nothing more? "So what? Now that I'm not letting you fuck me you break up with me?" she yelled after him, but he was already gone. And when he was, she just sat down on the sofa, covering her mouth as she started sobbing. This wasn't fucking fair to either of them, but she had to get these feelings out before she went home. Her mother would know what was up and she wasn't in the mood.

The next day at school she just showed up as normal, but she was clearly avoiding Kurtis. Only problem she had a hard time contacting Jeremy as well. Everything seemed to have gone to shit yesterday.
She was heading off to practice, no one in school had seemed to move around rumors about the two of them no longer together, but she knew it was only a matter of time. She was not going to be the one to spill the beans about how she had been played. Doing her routine she felt in the zone. She was angry, but it made her more focused.
As she headed home she stopped outside her house. Police cars were all around, and she swallowed heading inside. "Miss, we need you to leave this crime scene," an officer told her and she just froze, looking as her mother was being placed in handcuffs. She looked at her in confusion, but her mother just told her to remain calm, that this was all one big misunderstanding. Being escorted out, she just sat down on the sidewalk, wrapping her arms around her knees as she stared blankly ahead.
Welp, here she was, no-one to help her and she was all on her own. The police weren't even letting her grab any clothes because it would tamper with their investigation. Checking her pockets she was lucky she still had some money, but it was far from enough to buy herself in to a motel for the night. Maybe it was good enough for a snack at the gas station or a toothbrush at the store.