New year, new me? Or whatever they say. [cw]

Zaira just sat on the sidewalk, watching as the police drove off with her mother and some stayed behind to guard the house. She knew she had to be tough, this was what her mother had tried to prepare her for, but she was so hurt already. Then she felt her phone buzz and seeing it was Jeremy she felt her eyes water. Instead of writing him, she got to her feet. He didn't live too far from her anyways, so she headed to his house. This couldn't get any worse, she told herself, but it was as if the cosmos was especially fond of jokes today as it started pouring down. Clutching her bag over her head she finally reached his house, knocking on the door as she was shivering from the rain. Unsure of who would greet her she tried remaining calm.

Zaira was more quiet than usual, but she hoped it could just be explained away by how she was shivering. "Yes please," she said to the offer of dried clothes. "I'll go borrow some of Jere's clothes, he probably won't mind," she said, excusing herself to go get changed. Zaira had been to Jeremy's place quite often over the summer. They just hung out whenever they felt like it, and it really felt like they had grown very close. She saw him as one of her best friends, but she now also felt guilty. But regardless she needed to see what was up with him.
After she had changed, she knocked on the door to his room, coming in slowly with a warm cup of chocolate in her hand. "Your mum says you were attacked?" she said. Maybe just focus on him, not on her own struggles right now. She sat down on the bed with him, crawling under the blanket he was under, shivering as she still felt cold. "What happened?"

He couldn't say? So it had to be about Damiano, right? She breathed out, blowing on her cup of chocolate before taking a careful sip. She was not one to pry, but she was curious what had happened. Then he said that she should tell him about her first day and she felt her eyes water looking down in shame. "Well it was shit," she said, scoffing as she sniffled a bit, the corners of her mouth pulling up in a sad smile. "Kurtis broke up with me, and when I got home, my mother was being arrested ... I can't go home, cause the police thinks it's a crime scene or whatever," she listed it out as if that would help much. She just felt so helpless, and so alone. "I'm never going to ask you to choose between me and Kurtis ... But right now I just really need a place to crash," feeling scared that maybe he would abandon her as well? That maybe even though she felt so close to him, they weren't really in his mind. She just had a lot of doubts today, and it had brought about some of the worst. "I don't even know ... Know if this summer meant anything to him, you know ... I just ... Fuck Jere I actually love him but I can't give him what he needs." She felt a few tears rolling down her cheeks. She was tired and cold, and she just felt like she wanted to bury herself underground. Escape everything.

"Yeah, well, that makes two of us," of course she had worried that Kurtis might start to find her boring or wanting to slip in to bad habits. Not that she had been good at setting up boundaries. She was silent for a while, just staring at her cup as the nephilim next to her finally decided to talk. Her eyes widened as she heard it was in fact the hybrid that had attacked the other students. As well as Jeremy? Her face said it all, "Imma gut him for hurting you like this," she muttered, taking an aggressive swig of her hot chocolate but it just ended up burning her tongue.
"You want me to have a look at it?" she asked, placing her cup down on his nightstand as she looked at him. She wouldn't tell anyone about what had happened if he didn't want anyone to know. If he let her, she would remove the patch quite carefully, seeing the bitemarks it certainly didn't look like vampyre fangs that was for sure. "It looks pretty clean ... And the skin isn't swollen as if it's infected, so I guess that's good?" she muttered, but she only had a basic understanding of wounds and cuts. Biting her lower lip she frowned. "I could go grab some tears from your mum? It would heal much quicker," she suggested.

It just sounded so twisted. She had hung out with Damiano too when he was with Jeremy. He had seemed like such a nice an genuine guy. Plus his looks wasn't bad. But perhaps there was something ugly beneath that friendly exterior. "Either way, he can't just get away with this, Jere," she argued. She knew her friend cared for the hybrid, but this was violence. It wasn't what someone who claimed to like you did. Although Kurtis had hurt her with words, he had never struck her or acted out physically. "Describe the difference you noted," she said, getting up to pick up the small medical kit on his nightstand. Taking out some disinfectant spray she went over, sitting down next to him as she cleaned it out pretty good. He clearly wasn't doing it himself, and she just wanted to care for him. Once it had been cleaned she put on a nice layer of ointment and then a patch to cover it up. "There we go ... it should be alright for now," she said, before crawling under the blanket once more.

Zaira wasn't sure what to expect, but then he suddenly spilled it all. She looked at him confused before shaking her head. "Jere, I can't as your friend agree to that ... You might love him, but he hurt you and if he's not himself he probably won't hesitate to hurt you again," she had to be the voice of reason here. Any other day she would've been jumping with joy if Jeremy had told her that he was actually in love with Damiano. But not now. This was a huge change, not only in the dynamic between the two guys but also in the trust they had for each other. "Jere, you're far from fucked up, you are smart and the top of your class - I just think that right now you are too confused about everything and you need your rest," she said, not trying to dismiss his feelings, but also trying to urge him to at least heal for a bit. What if it turned out Damiano had wanted to eat him? Or just kill him? She couldn't handle the thought.

The hurt in her eyes as he mentioned what she felt right now made her look down. He apologized but she just shook her head. She didn't want to talk about it any further or she would just be crying the whole night. He laid down and she laid down next to him. Albeit she always kept her distance a bit, perhaps because she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. "Is this alright?" she muttered, pulling the blanket closer to herself to get warm. It was at times like these where she really missed Kurtis. She was cold and she felt vulnerable. But she couldn't do anything about it but sucking it up.
"Goodnight," she said, feeling exhausted as she curled herself up, falling asleep quite easily. Although her nightmares were back.

The night had passed, and yet she was still sleeping. She was curled up in his blankets, her hair sticking out one end and a bare foot the other. She wasn't really snoring, but she was whimpering softly, her fingers tightening around the blanket as if she was trying to hold on to something. "Don't," she muttered, her voice probably being muffled by the blanket that she had buried her face in. She was shaking a little bit before she seemingly snapped out of it, opening her eyes to see daylight reaching the walls in the room. At first she was a bit disoriented, blinking as she turned around where she saw Jeremy at his desk. He really didn't ever stop studying, did he? Lifting her hands she rubbed her eyes, feeling how wet they were. Well that was embarrassing if she had cried in her sleep. "Did I wake you?" she asked carefully, before apologizing, sitting up. Her hair was a mess, her curls all over the place and her makeup smeared slightly.

Zaira looked at her friend. He was seemingly better today, but she worried that he wouldn't take time to heal himself. Then he said he wasn't holding her waking him against her, and she nodded. "We both are it seems," she said, although she would probably sleep on a mattress separate from Jeremy tonight. Then he disclosed the time and the fact that he had written Damiano. She got up, going over to grab his phone to see if he was joking. He wasn't. "Jere," she breathed out in a heavy sigh shaking her head. She could understand him though, she would've probably sulked over her pictures last night. It did however remind her that her phone was turned off because it had ran out of battery. "Could I borrow a charger?" she asked, handing his phone back. She couldn't dictate what he did or didn't do.

On his side, alright. She grabbed the chord, pulling a bit of is out from hiding as she plugged in her phone. His words made her frown, looking down as she was quiet for a while. "Yeah, I have nightmares quite often," she said, "they had gotten better ... Being with Kurtis and all that made them subside for a while." She hoped it made some sense but it probably didn't. Taking a deep breath she looked at Jeremy, knowing he didn't turn around made it easier for her to say stuff she usually kept in. "It's just my body's way of unwinding from all the shit that happens in my life, like a broken record inside of me ... I think I've only had good dreams a couple of times that I can remember," she explained.
Her phone made a small noise, signaling it was turning on and she put in her pin code letting it boot up. "I'm not going to write Kurtis; He probably won't even acknowledge me in school," she said, closing her eyes as she tried to calm herself down. She had just grown attached to him, and knowing that she had classes with him would destroy her. "I'm staying home today too," she finally decided, "I mean, who are they going to call? My mum?" Scoffing as she shook her head, running her fingers through her hair.

She was quiet but he didnt mind. He thought she was considering what to answer, but was at least glad to hear her say something that wasnt just it wasnt that bad or something less informative. Though he couldnt relate to reoccurring nightmares like that. Sure he had one once in a while, but it was never anything that made sense. "That sounds like it sucks." he said as she mentioned only a few good dreams. She spoke of Kurtis and Jeremy shrugged. He knew his best friend but somehow Zaira was different. And he had to believe that Kurtis wouldnt just be over her, even if he was going to show something like that in school. "You can stay here. I'm not allowed to go so." he said to then chuckle as he could imagine the school setting themselves up for defeat. "Are you hungry?" he asked. He was starting to feel hungry but he usually didnt eat before 7. Some strict rule he had set up for himself.

It was around 12 that the doorbell rang. A servant opened the door for the lycan that just politely thanked her. Jeremy's family and servants were quite used to Kurtis just showing up that he didnt really have to be announced or wait to be let in. Jeremy was in the kitchen with Zaira, instructing her on some sort of dish that they were trying out to pass time. The servant guided the lycan into the kitchen and Jeremy turned his head to then blink a little surprised. Kurtis hadnt really expected Zaira here either and when he looked to Jeremy, he saw the patch and frowned. He had so many questions but he also quite suddenly felt like he didnt really want to be here anyway. "Kurt." Jeremy said, getting down from the table with his teeth gritted as it hurt a little, quickly following after the angry lycan.

She nodded, smiling a bit at the fact that she didn't have to be alone. Maybe both of them just really needed each other right now. "Yeah, food would be good ... You want me to go make some for us?" She asked, mostly because he didn't want him to move too much. Besides that she liked cooking and as long as he was upfront with stuff he didn't like, she could make them some. She heard a car downstairs pulling out of the driveway, so it seemed that one of his parents had gone to work already. "You need a hand?" She asked as she got up from the bed. She looked rather cute in the oversized clothes she had borrowed from Jeremy, the shorts she had luckily been able to tighten with a string around her waist.

Passing time was easy around Jeremy. Despite both of them being in unlucky situations, they seemed to at least force smiles out of one another. She was chewing on her upper lip as she tried getting the measurements just right for the recipe as she heard the door open. She expected it to be either one of Jeremy's parents or perhaps a servant. Instead she felt like she took a knife to her chest as she saw the lycan. Okay, bad timing. He took off and Jeremy followed. So of course she had to follow as well, making sure that neither of them got hurt.
"Kurtis!" She yelled as she finally caught up to him. "Hey, it's alright, I'll just leave, don't get mad at him," she said. Where would she go? She wasn't even sure. She couldn't go home, but Kurtis didn't know that. And she would actually feel better if he didn't find out. It would be another block of guilt and she wasn't looking for petty points.
She nodded to Jeremy as she just shrugged, clearly haven given up at this point because she couldn't stay.

He couldnt say that he wasnt disappointed but he just felt stupid again and he hated that feeling so much. Zaira called for him and it was like just hearing her made him hurt all over again that it pissed him off. "No, you guys seemed to be having a really great fucking time, I'm not gonna intrude." he said quite angrily. Jeremy however wasnt digging the attitude. "Why are you being such a dick?" he asked, which made Kurtis turn on his heel and Jeremy bumped right into him, whimpering as he lifted a hand to his neck. A red patch built up under the white wool and Kurtis looked a little surprised at it, as he also realized that he had hurt Jeremy.

Zaira hated this. She was so intertwined with Kurtis that he now couldn't even talk to his best friend. But then him and Jeremy bumped in to each other, and the human knew to needed her care right now. "Be careful," she reminded the nephilim, helping him with the patch so that it stuck to his skin once more. "We need to clean it anyways," she muttered under her breath, looking to Kurtis she wasn't sure were he stood. "Well, don't just stand there like a deer in headlights ... Do I look like someone strong enough to support him inside?" She barked at the lycan. She couldn't focus on the hurt he was giving her right now, she needed to focus on Jeremy instead.