The everyday monsters in our lives

Cesare waved his hand as the human expressed his condolences. He couldn't use that for much. It was the burden of immortality, really, and he hadn't found anything that made it easy over the years. People died every day, he told himself to get over it; he had killed people without hesitating. But perhaps he was a bit biased about whom he bestowed his devotion onto. The question was valid and he chuckled a bit, "I visited her at least once a week .. but she haven't been able to remember me for quite some time," he said, nodding as he looked down at his hands. He had never been one to commit. No, committing to one partner would be like signing away his freedom, and he had to put himself first. He had to be with himself forever.
"She had Alzheimer's .. so, slowly rotting of the mortal brain, you know," he scoffed, closing his eyes as he was still rather affected by it. But he hadn't wanted to leave Benjamin alone in the hotel after what had happened with one of the guards. "She still did have her moments, though I don't think she truly remembered me in the end," he knew there were fates worse than that, "she was a human; I know you're too polite to ask." Just making it clear, but perhaps he saw this as another person he had taken advantage of. Sucked the life out of perhaps? "Life .. for an immortal goes on; Even when everyone leave, we are left behind with only memories."

Why a human? He found the question a little funny, because it wasn't like he planned this stuff out. He just looked put together, and yet he was probably still coming off crazy after last night. He liked being dramatic and over the top, and yesterday he might've had a bit too much blood in him to truly control himself. The next question felt more appropriate for him to answer, but he figured he might as well answer it all at once. "Why not a human?" he asked, folding his hands as he looked at the heater, the red hot elements in it giving off a cozy hue. "Humans do live decently long lives .. she didn't want to be turned, and I respected that, even if there was a selfish part of me that wanted her to live with me forever," no, he had turned people before by accident, and those sires had turned out horrible.
Taking a deep breath he turned to look at Benjamin, studying his face a little. Did he want to mock him? He wouldn't blame him as he himself felt quite the easy target for reticule right now. "When life has a natural end, I feel like there is more beauty and meaning to it," he said, sending him a sad smile, "I think that is why I've always gravitated towards mortal lovers." Either that or he loved torturing himself and reminding himself how he would always end up alone. "I enjoyed her company, she was a brilliant woman with a brilliant mind; she ended up having a nice career, having a husband and kids and it was all things I could not be apart of." It was clear that their status as lovers had ended before her marriage, but that they had remained somewhat close. "As she grew older, I stayed the same, and when she got her diagnosis I promised to come visit her every week until her last day," it wasn't just about sex for him. A lover was more than someone he slept with. It was someone he was devoted to in a way. "Her kids are all grown up now, and they know that they'll always have someone to call upon if they need help; That is what I can give her legacy," he shook his head, getting up. "We should head back," he said, done with the conversation, "just stay by the heat .. wouldn't want my little mouse to get sick." Touching his cheek briefly he moved up to the deck again, pulling the anchor up and setting the boat into motion.

As he stood by the helm of the ship he took the wheel in his hands. That was when he realized he was trembling. A few bloody tears escaping his eyes as he stood there alone on the deck. Shaking it off he dried his eyes before opting not to go back where they had come from. Instead he headed for somewhere else. Somewhere that might fit his mood more and the need to get away from everything that reminded him of the life that had been lost.
He sailed through the night until they reached a smaller harbor. He was let in, finding a space for him to fasten the boat. As everything was secure, he walked below deck, seeing the human huddled up in the blanket by the heater. Walking closer he touched his forehead gently, moving some stray hair away from it before he turned off the heater and lifted him up in his arms. He wasn't worried of him being heavy or getting tired.

When Benjamin would eventually wake up, he would be in a very unknown place. If he looked outside he would see a small lake and nothing else for miles but forest. The cabin he was in was just a single story, and somewhere there was music playing. Smooth classical music from a piano, calmly moving through the house. It was an older tune, not one that was played much of anymore in these modern times. If he followed the sound, he would see the vampyre sitting by a piano, playing softly as the sun was just peaking through the windows, not hitting him but lighting up the room.

Cesare was a good piano player, stroking the keys just right. As the human entered his lips pulled up in a lively smile, "good morning darling, I hope you slept well," he said, continuing to play. He knew the music he played by heart, no need to watch as he played. Sometimes he wondered if he could play even with no sight. The admittance making him chuckle. "Well it had been you unwilling to know it that has kept me silent on that fact," he reminded him. His fingers moved, transitioning to a different tune that now occupied the space of the room.
"I've prepared some food for you in the kitchen as well as coffee and tea - I didn't know which you preferred better," he chuckled, clearly in a better mood today. He waved his hand to signal that he should go eat already. The human had to eat to function and Cesare wanted them to go do something today. He was always idle, struggling to be still. It helped him distract his mind and racing thoughts.

"Cesare," he said sending him a smile before the human went to go eat. He wasn't obligated to return the question seeing as he did know his first name. Sure he might go by another, but in his head he would perhaps always be Benjamin. The human went to go eat, and Cesare noted the comment. No coffee, no tea, just water. As he returned the vampyre was still playing the beautiful tones on the piano that died down as the human insisted on cooking for himself.
"You think I don't enjoy cooking or did you just not like the taste?" He asked, which he felt was a fair question, tilting his head to the side. He knew the human sometimes was too polite to say what was really on his mind, and he didn't really like that. "Come on, be honest with me and stop holding back just because you think you are being polite," he insisted getting up from the piano he went to him, taking his chin delicately in his hand, guiding his face to look at him if he tried looking away. "You are so willing to fight me with your fist but not your words," he said in a ponder, studying his features a bit, his thumb running along his lower lip before he seemed to remember that Benjamin didn't like the cold. Releasing him he went back to the piano, playing once more.
He was barely looking at the human this morning, just looking out the giant glass window overlooking the lake as he played. He wasn't too used to the daylight, but he also knew that Benjamin probably didn't want to turn nocturnal. "How do you feel about a small hike?" he asked, anything to keep himself busy. He was quite obviously distracting himself, but from what was perhaps a mystery. Sure he had lost a lover yesterday, but today was a new day and he knew that at some point his unbeating heart would stop aching. "The nature out here is beautiful; there's even a waterfall not far from here where we could cliff dive?" he was the adventurous type, and perhaps a bit reckless seeing as he couldn't truly get hurt.

The reply made him smile, chuckling light and almost melodically with the music. "No swimming," he promised then. If the human wasn't up for it, then it would be fine too. As long as he agreed to at least some sort of adventure for the day, that would keep him busy. Besides, he had been out while Benjamin was asleep, having some real blood and not just the vialed kind, so he felt quite good. Almost too energetic for his own good. He stopped playing, getting up he went to go get some shoes on.
If the human followed he would be the guide on the trail. He was trying not to move too fast for him. The forest was alive with all sorts of critters, and Cesare could hear it all. As they were a fair bit in between the trees he stopped, holding an arm out to stop Benjamin as well. He listened before he turned towards the human, smiling a little excitedly. He turned his head gently. And right there between the trees stood a doe and it's fawn. It must've been born no more than a few months ago by the looks of it. They were munching on some bushes with berries on it.
"It's strange, it must've been born a bit later than usual," he frowned, though it looked like it was growing alright. "When you look at animals like that, do you view them as food?" He whispered, not wanting to startle them, but also too curious for his own good.

Cesare frowned a little at the reply, mostly because the human had been so insistent of not talking about his family through the whole ordeal. Cesare looked at the deer as it caught his gaze. The doe nudged her fawn and off they went in between the woods. The vampyre quickly caught up to the human, linking their arms together. "Well if it's any consolation I know what it was like to have a very dominant father," he said. He rarely spoke about his family, where he grew up. No, that wasn't what was the norm for him. But something in him wanted to connect with this human. And he wasn't sure what feeling that was; perhaps boredom or curiosity, but he tried not to think too much about it.
"Vampyre wounds might heal quickly, but the wounds on our minds are harder to mend," he said looking up to the treetops. Smiling a little he chuckled, "I once climbed a tree in our garden, and because we were trying to stay low profile in the town we were staying at, my father got very angry." He didn't seem like he was bothered by the tale, but deep down he wasn't sure he had worked it through thoroughly enough to not let it hit him somewhere. "He pulled me down and dragged me out to the kennel .. left me there beaten and raw in the sunlight for hours," he smiled, though it wasn't a fond memory, he wasn't trying to get pity either.

"I suppose asshole is a nice way of putting it," he chuckled. It was so far in his past at this point that he felt like it didn't need to be thought about. Well unless it meant it worked in his favor. He hated talking about those times. It had been before he had become who he was now. The silence didn't bother him. The sounds of the forest around them was singing in a sweet symphony for him, until the human decided to speak once more. The question was a tough one, but he supposed Benjamin asked about the human Sadie.
"I did," he just confirmed. There wasn't really any need to go into details about the horrors that had been done to her body. But she was his sire regardless, even if she sometimes egged him on and frustrated him. "She did come to me seeking help .. with me she has gotten a home and family that might be cruel, but we stick together; and I always provide for my children," he wasn't perfect. In fact Benjamin had witnessed that imperfection the night he had shot his two sires. They would heal just fine, and they would overcome it because he willed it.
"At first I didn't want to turn her, but then she told me of the other horrors your father got up to with her," he knew it wasn't his story to tell, and yet he had to give some context at least. "She convinced me .. I turned her and that night after her transformation she ran away, hurrying back to you to face your father," he shook his head at the memory of it, "I did stop her from killing you all after your parents sent her away." Maybe that was a bit redundant to speak of. Maybe it would've been doing the world a favor to have that man dead, but alas he wasn't one to judge good from bad. "But she has done well for herself in my world, though she has struggled she has even managed to find love in a couple of my sires," he chuckled, shrugging lightly as he knew she was happy despite everything.

As the human pulled away Cesare was confused at first. Well that was until he saw what was going on. He stayed where he was, not wanting to trigger any fear responses in the human. "It's alright," he said, putting his hands up to show he wasn't meaning him harm. For once he actually kept his distance, worry in his eyes. "Take deep breaths for me; in through the nose, out through the mouth," he instructed him, though everything in him wanted to be close to him, he also knew that he couldn't.
Benjamin still saw him as a threat, as a monster, and that would perhaps never change. But it didn't mean he had to prove himself all of that.
"State three things you see," he said encouraging him to ground himself further. He had seen anxiety in people before, and this seemed very much like it. Though he wasn't sure what it was, stating facts about one's surroundings did always seem to help.

The vampyre could imagine a lot of scenarios playing out from this. But he hadn't expected to be pulled closer. Rather instinctively he wrapped his arms around Benjamin, burying his face in his hair, breathing in his scent. He smelled good. Not in a food kind of way, but in a person kind of way, though blood would always be attractive to him. "It's alright," he whispered to him, stroking his back in calm movements, not letting him go before he felt better, "I can name three things for you," he wasn't sure if it was going to work, but he had to at least try.
"To the right of me, left of you, there's a giant tree with moss covering most of it's trunk," he whispered, his voice a soothing tone as he listened to the human's heart to see if it was working. "Right behind you is the road we took to get here, and you can see our footprints side by side in the fresh earth," he wanted to mention stuff that maybe he couldn't see, but could perhaps remember. His hands moving up, cupping his face, leaning back to look at him, wiping away any tears, just holding him ever so gently. A smile on his face, his eyes were sad as he said the next thing, "and you're standing in the arms of a man you called monster a few days ago," he was just stating what was true. He couldn't change anything, but he wanted to help this young man.
"It's alright, little mouse, I'm not going to hurt you," he promised, leaning down to press a kiss against his lips, closing his eyes as he was sorta hoping that the human might react. Swing at him. Yell at him. Anything to get him out of this spiral.

Being pushed away wasn't surprising him, well mostly because it was what he had hoped for. The swing that followed made him chuckle, looking down as his shoulders trembled a little but he kept it together. "I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not really .. come on, let's head back .. it's clear this place won't do you any good," he just said, walking ahead as they went back. He would never admit to it, at least now in his moment of weakness, that the kiss had made him feel something. Even if it didn't make the human feel something, it had stirred something within him that he tried convincing himself was simply just because he was still mourning his lost lover.
They made it back, and Cesare went to the bedroom, packing Benjamin's clothes in a bag before heading downstairs to him. "There's a car out front .. it will take you wherever you want to go," he just said, not looking at him. This had been a mistake. He shouldn't have thought this could work out. And he wasn't risking getting feelings for a human who very clearly despised him. "I won't follow you; I won't contact you .. It'll be as if I never existed," he promised him, his expression stoic and not giving away much. This was what Benjamin wanted, right? To get away from him. So here was the chance.

Cesare wasn't good at goodbyes. He had usually left before something like that could happen or he had excused himself out of it. But this was a bit rough on him. He let the human take the bag, turning on his heel and returning to the bedroom alone, closing the door behind him as he didn't wish to see the human actually leave.
And just as the vampyre had said a car was outside waiting for him. The driver a mortal, human like Benjamin himself. It was clear the vampyre had requested that. She was polite, taking the bag for him and putting it in the back of the car, holding the door for him and everything. Going around she headed into the driver's seat, putting on her seatbelt before looking at the traveler in the rearview mirror. "Where to, sir?" she smiled, her cheeks a little red from the heat outside, but otherwise she was nicely dressed. "I thought you wouldn't be travelling alone, but it seems plans do change," she was still rather polite, turning the keys and making the engine purr awake. She wouldn't start driving before he had said a destination.