They all grow up so fast

He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms securely around her and she could feel her eyes water at the feeling. It was wonderful, bringing her so much joy, and she gladly moved with him. His loving tone surprised her, even more than his words, making her feel butterflies in her stomach. His whisper made her stomach do a summersault, moving to sit on his lap, one hand resting on his chest, while the other still held on to his hand. "I really want to ... But I don't want to force you," she whispered, feeling sad that she had to say it. She didn't know if he was going to regret this, and though that would be even more painful. Looking down, she fiddled a bit with the collar of his shirt, feeling the soft fabric against her fingers. "And father's words keep ringing in my head," she whispered helplessly. She didn't want to think of consequences or what other people might say, but she couldn't deny that she enjoyed living a relatively discreet life. If this was to break to the school, she would be deemed an outcast, even if she was charming. "Why is it hard to love you, Amos?" she whispered, looking back at him with pleading eyes. Why was he constantly pushing her away just to lure her back in? She couldn't find head or tail in any of this.

He said just to focus on him, but it was hard when her parents had such a big affect on her. She was their only daughter, their first child and here she was breaking rules and barely being old enough to even look like she could drive a car. His touch were so gentle, and she sighed as he nuzzled their noses. This was something she had missed so much. Sitting close to him and not being afraid to show her love, but it had been so long that she feared what would happen.
His words sounded almost harsh, making her frown. She wanted to respond, but just then she felt the small peck against her lips. Her eyes fell shut, moving her face to his, this time it was her kissing him. She had kissed him before, when the opportunity stroke, but never like this. Her lips moved carefully against his lips, feeling her heart beat like crazy in her chest. She could feel the urge to move her hips, but just as Connor had informed her not to, she kept herself still, scrunching up her toes to feel like she could control it. "Do you love me?" she whispered, pulling out of the kiss, but not really. She still kissed him a few times afterwards, feeling how her stomach was turning and it felt like knots in there. "Not just in a because you're forced to way," she added, wanted to clarify. She looked at him, her hands running over his chest, just feeling him and taking everything in through her senses.

She felt her heart beat faster as he said he did actually love her, but a small surprised noise escaped her lips as he moved them around. She looked up at him, feeling goosebumps show on her arms from his touch. "I don't know how you can prove it," she confessed. She had no idea how the bond worked, so how could she figure out what it would feel without it? Feeling how he played with her dress was almost comforting. The fact that he seemed to actually enjoy this was jaw-dropping. One of her hands moved up to his face, cupping his cheek with her palm. Looking in to his eyes she just gazed at him, feeling her heart beat faster and her body wanting to react. "Tell me what you are thinking of," she said softly. In her mind, all that she could see right now was Amos, and by extension of that, she could feel a need to have Connor here as well. Maybe she would always feel like that; When she was with Connor, she wanted Amos there and when she was with Amos, she wanted Connor there. Maybe that was her biggest curse. "And don't censor yourself, I want to hear everything," she pleaded. Maybe it would be a mouthful, but she wanted to know.

Time would tell what would happen, but right now she felt so curious. She wasn't sure what to expect as he spoke, making her look at him, listening intently. She wanted to know and now he told her. Her lips separated as his finger ran across it, feeling it travel down her neck. He felt torn, she could see that, but she hoped that she could soothe him in some way. She had so many questions.
"What is the thing that only lovers can do?" she asked softly, caressing his cheek with her thumb. She wanted him to be happy. "Tell me what it would mean if I was ... your lover," she pleaded, wanting to know everything. Comprehending everything was hard, but she needed to know. Also what did he mean by sound? Did it involve music or something? However she had a suspicion that it might correlate with the aching she felt from the lower half of her body.

"With their tongue?" she asked, now feeling more confused. How could you kiss with your tongue? She thought that was a job for the lips? Her question seemed to make him happy in a way. Like her being his lover would make him glad. His lips brushed against hers and she closed her eyes in pure instinct, clearly hoping for a kiss. However sweet words greeted her instead, opening her eyes half way to look at him. His lips moved down to her neck, a most wondrous feeling spreading in her body, making her press herself closer to him.
"My body is telling me ... That I want to be close to you, to touch you ... To kiss you," she replied, sighing for each kiss he planted on her neck. Frowning slightly at the words he had just spoken. "Would I ... Be able to do this with others too, if I were your lover?" She asked. It didn't seem fair that he could do as he pleased and she couldn't. When she asked she also thought if Connor would find it repulsive, the thought of sharing had made Amos angry. She had told him over and over how she couldn't choose between the guys, that she couldn't decide to love one and not the other.

His lips were thorough, not missing a single spot on her neck as he moved his kisses down. She could feel her heart beast faster, the aching from her lower body getting more intense. Never had she felt more in bliss, his hands moving down to spread her legs, and she smiled softly as he pressed himself closer.
His reply didn't help her much, making her look sad, because she couldn't promise that. She couldn't just love him, she knew that deep down. "Amos," she breathed out, pleading with him to not make her promise that. He added that she had to try, but she knew that it would break her. "I can't promise to love only you," she whispered, feeling sad that it had to be said. She loved him, with all of her heart, but she loved Connor just the same. The guys were so different. The feeling she had with Connor was safety and happiness, but with Amos it was a little exciting and wonder. His words made her blush, mostly because she didn't know to the full extend what he was asking for, and it scared her a little.
He kissed her, beckoning her to open her mouth and follow along with him. She did, feeling how his tongue moved so tenderly against hers. It was hard focussing on breathing through her nose and follow him at the same time. The feeling itself was strange, but she could feel her body react so strongly to it. A faint moan escaped her lips as she relaxed more in to it, starting to get the hang of it.

As he said it didn't include Connor, it was as if her body relaxed. Their tongues mixing their saliva was slowly becoming easier for her to not think so much about. It was quite the pleasant feeling, making her body tense in all the right places.
He leaned away, her cheeks having a nice red colour to them. She gasped softly for air, looking at him rather perplexed as he asked if she wanted more. "There's more?" she asked in a soft whimper, still trying to find her breath. Whatever he was doing to her, she couldn't say no. It was as if saying no would break even more rules in her mind. "What do you mean by more?" She asked, rubbing herself lightly against him just to get out some tension in her stomach.

Saoirse couldn't help but chuckle a bit. All of the butterflies tingling in her stomach as he clarified. She didn't want it to stop, that was for sure, but she didn't really feel as used to the whole tongue thing yet. He rubbed himself against her, making her sigh softly, almost moaning as he spoke again. She looked at him, her eyes vulnerable and her heart beating faster than ever. "I ... I don't know what I want, if I'm being honest," she said hesitantly. She knew she wanted what was going on right now, with him being close and their lips touching, but she felt like all of this were so new. "I mean ... You said the tongue thing was meant for lovers ... And I don't really know what we are," she confessed. She didn't want to pretend with him, there was no need to play games. She just wanted the truth, and Amos always provided her with that.

When he said that they were deeper connected than just lovers she frowned a bit in disbelief, and as he went on to describe how they were family she nodded. She could understand that family was stronger than any other love you might find in your life. She knew she loved her parents, she loved her mother's aunt and she even liked Alyssa, Amos' mother. He looked at her, and she felt as if his eyes saw right through her. He kept talking, and as he said that siblings could never be lovers, she blinked a few times, swallowing as she let that sink in. He moved away from her, and she sat up, feeling rather flustered. She looked down, biting her lower lip. Her body was still trembling a bit as she moved closer to him. Kissing his jaw softly, her hand moving to his chest where she caressed him softly. "Tell me what I can be then ... If I cannot be your lover, tell me what I'm supposed to do?" she pleaded with him. Her lips moved to his neck, pecking him softly wherever she could reach.
However she seemed to not get too much out of just that. She moved slow, sitting on his lap once more, however this time she felt something in her underwear. Something wet, but it hadn't felt like she had peed herself. "Please tell me," she pleaded, carefully rolling her hips to greet his as she sat on him. Humming to herself, it felt good to do that small roll, just feeling how her stomach tensed at the sensation. "Don't tease me, I won't be a brat," she whispered, leaning down to kiss his lips, savoring his taste as she sighed against his lips. He almost drove her to the edge of insanity, or at least it felt like it.

As he placed his hands on her hips, she knew she was doing something right, rolling against him once more. She could feel something hard between them now, and when it rubbed against her, she felt her whole stomach tense in delight. He told her she was thinking too much, and perhaps he was right. Maybe she should stop trying to understand everything and just do what she felt. Closing her eyes as he pulled her closer, she heard the moan escape his lips, and she couldn't stop herself from replying with a soft whimper. What she wanted was him, she wanted him to love her and to kiss her like lovers did. She wanted him to hold her tight and make her body sing. But how could she say that without sounding needy? His hands on her hips guided her towards his hips once more, making her moan softly as she felt her heart rate pick up where it had left off.
"I want you," she whimpered. "I want you to be happy, I want you to love me, I want you to be my lover," she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him. Her gaze was rather serious, mostly because she didn't want her heart broken. "I want you to visit more, to spend more time with me - I want you to show me what it means to be a lover, what it means to truly love someone," she said, moving her hands up to his hair, rolling her hips against him, gasping softly as it felt like she needed to take her clothes off. As if it was too hot in this room right now. Leaning down, she hovered her face above his, looking at him as she thought everything through. "I want what you offered me on the beach," she said. She was serious, wanting to know what he had dangled in front of her.

She knew that she was already in over her head, but she trusted him. Having known him her whole life, she just felt safe around him, and having him close always made her happy. Returning the kiss he gave her, she looked a little surprised as he asked her to turn around, however she did as he told her to. How could she not? Closing her eyes as he started kissing her neck, she sighed softly, feeling his hands on her knees. He spoke and she nodded to his question, still having her eyes closed. He spread her legs, but not enough for it to be uncomfortable, however as his hands started moving against the bare skin of her thighs, she held her breath. Her body tensing and shaking a little from the feeling. His words were sweet, and he spoke of something that seemed to involve the both of them. However she couldn't help but feel nervous. His hands kept sneaking up her inner thighs, and she had a hard time finding her words. "It sounds unbelievable," she whispered, smiling as her breath was getting hasty. She could feel the urge again, the need to move her hips as if his hands could solve her aching. And with the way it was going, that was probably how it was going to be. She placed a hand on his, holding it flatly against her thigh as she wanted a moment to think it through.
"I'm scared," she whispered, feeling her heart beating in her throat. Her eyes were watering a bit, but it was mostly from the wonderful feeling he was giving her. She was scared of the unknown, scared that it would hurt, or that whatever he promised she wouldn't be able to feel. Everything was rummaging through her head. "Amos ... I don't know if I'm ready for that," she whispered, feeling scared to tell him off. She wanted him, she had just said that, but everything just seemed so scary and unknown right now.

Feeling grateful that he stopped when she told him to, she leaned in to his embrace, closing her eyes and just listening to him. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, but that didn't make this situation any less scary. When he spoke of the tension, she knew what he meant, but just following her senses seemed a vague answer. She would've sat there for a while, if it wasn't for her phone ringing. Sighing softly as he let her go. It was still laying on the couch next to them, so she grabbed it and moved over to sit on the couch instead of on him.
Picking it up, she noticed how red her cheeks were, but she hoped that Connor didn't notice too much. "Hi ba-ba; How was your day?" she asked with a big smile on her lips. She always liked speaking with Connor, and truth be told she missed his warm hugs right now. However she couldn't say that just out of context. "You look tired," she said in a worried tone, frowning as she pulled her legs up under her dress, looking at the seraph on the screen. "Oh, by the way, Amos is here," she said, just letting him know if there was anything he didn't want to share with the daemon. Looking at Connor was like looking at an inverted picture of Amos. The blonde locks and the glasses, the goofy smile and the softer features. She liked both of them for each their thing.

Saoirse loved it when Connor called her nicknames. It was just something fun about it and it always made her smile. "Do you have a lot of things to do before you go to bed?" She asked, as he had said he was super tried. He always worked hard, and she just wanted to make sure he got the sleep that he needed.
She could see how his face changed at the mention of Amos, and she knew that he had seen her blush by now. "Connor you promised," she pleaded. They had agreed that he couldn't get mad at her for spending time with her brother, and that whatever happened wasn't to defy him. "Don't tell me you are mad at me," she whispered, looking down. While Connor didn't get angry the same way Amos did, it was like it was ten times worse being treated with silence.
She turned the screen showing the documentary on screen. A lot of fish swimming by and the narrator talking about how they all lived with a purpose. "I've ordered pizza, and we were talking about watching a movie," she explained, turning the camera once more. "But before that we were at the beach, and Amos took me a little further out so I could feel the waves," she chuckled. Saoirse wasn't the best swimmer, but she had been learning at least to swim to safety.
Breathing out she leaned back on the couch, looking at Connor on the screen. "I'm looking forward to our movie night tomorrow," she smiled softly. She really did. It was like a highlight of her week, because some weeks it was the only time she could get Connor to herself. It was no secret that she hadn't held back on kissing him, even falling asleep in his arms when she got too tried. "When are you coming over? I need to have your surprise ready," she smiled, chuckling softly.