Double Trouble in Paradise | cw

Of course he knew that Eden was right, but deep down he feared that he would fail even with professionals to guide him. But then the vampyre said something that made his heart beat faster. The fact that it didn't care how long it would take. He worried that it would never go away, and perhaps it never would, but knowing that Eden was there to support him meant the world to the lycan.
"Maybe we can go .. Even if I don't get cured or whatever, we could still go, right?" he asked. Of course the experts would have to judge if it was plausible when the time came, but this wasn't a prison sentence. He could leave sometimes, right? His hand moved down, entangling their fingers even if he felt a little too weak to give him a hard squeeze. He looked ahead as they drove out of the city. It would be a little while before they got there according to the GPS, but perhaps time would fly as it usually did between them.

He felt a little happy by the notion that he would probably be able to go out and see Eden. though his demand, albeit fair, was a bit much for him to think of on top of his worries. "I can't even finish a protein drink on my own," he muttered, looking down at their hands with a defeated demeanor. He wanted to make Eden proud, but how could he demand such things? It would be easier said than done, that was for sure. His eyes welled up, sniffling a bit as he didn't want to cry, but he felt so powerless. Everything in his head was just a jumbled up mess and he felt powerless in this. And now Eden wouldn't see him unless he ate? He felt that to be almost too hard to stomach. "I don't want to talk about this anymore," he muttered, lifting the sleeve of his sweater to dry his eyes. His hands were shaking a bit, but it was just from all the emotions in his chest.

Frankly he was happy that they changed the subject, as he was clearly already being hard on himself. The question made him hum, looking out at the cows they passed. "Does it have to be farm animals?" he asked, though he hoped it could be any animal. He wasn't really a fan of most farm animals. In fact he couldn't recall ever being an animal person. "I guess deer," he said with a small hum as he thought it through before nodding to himself. "They always seem so elegant," he elaborated if it wasn't an answer enough. "What about you?" he asked, mostly because he was curious. Had Eden thought of some cool animal that he hadn't even considered? It was something he loved very dearly about the vampyre, the fact that he had such vast knowledge and was good with words.

The image of Eden surrounded by baby goats and sheep was actually a rather cute one. Though his sentiment about a village showed his age, Romeo wasn't too worried about that. He knew that Eden had had a long life before him, and that he would continue even when Romeo was gone. He then went on to mention hawks and he hummed, looking at the vampyre as he spoke. He looked so handsome when he was sat like this, so much so that he wondered if anyone had ever looked so contemplating while speaking of their favorite animal. "I think I'm just going to stick with deer," he admitted. There was probably a lot of fancy animals he could've named. Like a tiger or an ocelot. But he wasn't going to sit and pretend, least at all with Eden by his side.
"I guess I'm just happy you didn't say lycan," he said, his lips pulling up in a careful smile that hurt his cheeks a bit. Most people just lumped lycans in the animal category. He had heard it a thousand times over and it wasn't really a compliment to be named someones favorite animal. "Besides the small town, what's the best place you've ever visited?" He then asked, keeping the conversation flowing. It was easy with Eden, almost like breathing.

Romeo loved listening to Eden speak. He sometimes swore the vampyre could probably talk about a cleaning product and he would find an angle to make it interesting. The mention of Italy made him smile a little, perhaps because he was sorta proud of his heritage in that regard. "We used to go to Florence all the time in the Summer .. Either that or the Italian countryside," he said, wondering if Eden perhaps had seen it how it had been many years ago. That was the tricky thing about vampyres; You couldn't really tell how long they had lived. Perhaps some forgot along the way? "We'd have this big family meetup at the country house .. All the kids would play, we'd all see our whole family and get together," he said, remembering that time but it felt like forever ago. He scoffed softly, "one year Kurtis and me snuck away and got lost in the woods .. I think that was the first time we somehow managed to work together," it was too strange to think back on. Romeo had been a very different kid because of what he had gone through. And being around other kids had often made him want to retreat, spend time alone, however Kurtis had dragged him along anyways. Perhaps to play a prank on him or disobey something his father had scolded him about, but it didn't matter now.
Romeo looked down, looking at Eden's hand on his thigh, "my grandfather would take all the kids out to get an ice cream from this old ice cream shop," he didn't like thinking of food, but the memory was sweet. And yet it was bitter too after having seen how cruel his grandfather had been against not only him but Eden as well. "But my grandfather knew that I didn't like ice cream .. So he always got me a small bag of caramels that had a fruity center," he frowned as he couldn't recall when he had last had them.

He scoffed softly, "we did make it out, but my mother and my uncle gave both of us quite the scolding for staying out so late and worrying them," he said, "we actually ended up finding our way out because some hikers found us." He had to admit to that at least. It wasn't like him and Kurtis could've ever found their way out alone. They had been kids! It felt good just to talk about it. Perhaps because he rarely let himself think of the good things about his family when so much bad had happened too. How they had shunned him and basically kicked him out because of his choices. Though it seemed that his mother was maybe coming around to the idea? Time would tell.
The mention of candies made him hum, holding up his fingers, showing roughly how big they were with his thumb and index finger. "They had this white packaging with golden stripes, I can't remember the brand or anything, but each flavor had a different mark on the packaging," he explained. As Eden said they could go some day he looked maybe a little surprised. He knew his mother had sort off demanded that they came to visit, but traveling to Italy with Eden just to see it together was somehow heartwarming to him. Of course the vampyre said he wanted to go everywhere but Romeo shook his head, "I want to travel, but I don't need to stress about seeing it all," he said, giving Eden's hand a gentle squeeze. "Though I have to admit that you really sold me on visiting Amsterdam," he looked down again, a faint smile on his lips, however he was starting to get tired already. He hated that feeling. But maybe he could use that as a drive to get better.

It was a bit strange to sit here and talk about the past. Not because it was painful what they were talking about, he just wanted to try and do his memories justice in what he described. The question about Venice plus the small jab to his heritage made him roll his eyes, but the vampyre probably wouldn't see it. "I haven't been everywhere in Italy," he argued before sighing, "but yeah I have been to Venice - though it was when I was a baby so I don't recall any of it." His parents had travelled a lot within Italy when he had been a kid.
He looked out the window, knowing they would arrive soon. He needed to get something off his chest. "Eden?" he said, frowning as he wasn't sure how to ask this without sounding a little desperate. "I know I have to go to this place to get better," he said, his jaw tensing a bit as he felt vulnerable for what he was about to ask. "But .. Do you think you could stay the first night? He wondered if it would even be allowed but if Eden had any plans he wouldn't blame him for turning him down. "I just .. I really hate sleeping alone, but you know that."

Romeo nodded at the promise of Eden staying there with him. He knew it was something he had to do on his own, but spending the first night in the arms of the man he loved would perhaps make the transition a little easier.
As they rolled up the driveway, everything looked pretty nice. There were small gatherings of groups out enjoying the sun, some even doing some light exercising and others just relaxing in the shade. The grounds were well kept, and it wasn't like those admitted there looked like typical patients - at least they weren't wearing medical robes or anything. Eden found them a parking spot, and Romeo sat for a while in the car as the vampyre got the wheelchair. He was gritting his teeth a little, looking up to the main building that seemed so daunting. Part of him wanted to stop right now. Turn around, go for another ride just to waste time together. But reality was knocking on his door, and this time it wasn't going to leave before he opened up.
Getting out of the car wasn't as easy as getting in, but Eden did a good job with supporting him. He wished he could just walk, but that would just strain him further. His lycan healing wasn't really active right now because of his starvation. At the entrance they were greeted by the head of the place, being rather polite as she took them on a tour of the place. Romeo wondered if this was really the place for him, at least until he saw they had a dancing hall. Some of the patients were in there, doing some light movements and the lycan's eyes lingered on the spot. Dancing was something he could relate to, and seeing the hall made him feel a bit more at ease.
Then she showed them the rooms, how each person could choose between single, doubles or even group rooms of four to stay in. Romeo politely asked that he could have a single room. He wasn't interested in mingling too much, at least not to the point of sharing space with someone that wasn't Eden. "I have, uhm, a small request before I even sign on to a program here," he said, looking down as he felt rather tired, blinking a little slowly but he seemed to focus and look back at the headmistress. "Is it possible that Eden can stay with me? Just the first night," he clarified. He knew he had to do the work himself, but the first night would always be the worst, right? The woman looked to Eden, smiling as she nodded, "well I'm happy to hear that you are supported by your fiancé," she had seen the rings and put two and two together quite easily, "we can allow it; We do also offer visitation during nighttime to accommodate vampyres if you'd like to have that noted down?" she was rather helpful, helping them with the paperwork.
Once everything was fixed and Romeo officially had been signed in they were shown to a room in one of the dorm buildings, "you'll have your own room, your own toilet and shower," she said, though it was rather clear that the rooms were designed with a specific thing in mind. To prevent self-harm and escalations thereof. That meant no door handles unless it was a knob, no lights hanging from the ceiling and in the bathroom there was no shower curtain and the shower head was mounted to the wall. "I'll leave you two to rest up - dinner is served at six, and lights are out at ten," she smiled, giving them a map as well so they could find their way to the dining hall, but it was clear it wasn't expected of him to show up. It was his first night, and Eden was there.

There was a lot of things to take in, and once they were finally left alone he was happy to get out of the chair and sit on the bed instead. Though he was already thinking of when he could regain some strength and actually walk around. Eden's question brought him out of his head, blinking a few times before his eyes focused on the vampyre. "It's the best in regards to the distance from the city," he said with a slight shrug, "I don't know .. It just feels right I guess." It wasn't really anything more than that.
He looked to Eden with a vulnerable look in his eyes. "I'm just happy you could stay here the night," the bed he had gotten here was much bigger than the hospital one. It wasn't as big as the one at home at the mansion, but it did have plenty of space for the both of them. Reaching out for the vampyre it was clear he wanted him close. "I just want to rest for a little while," he admitted.

Romeo moved to lay down in Eden's arms, snuggling up to him as he had done previously in the hoapital. They didn't really need this big of a bed when they could lay this close. Closing his eyes it was clear just how tired he was. Muttering a soft "I love you," before drifting off.
He didn't sleep for too long, but they had passed the midday mark as he opened his eyes. Pulling away to look at Eden he reached up, cupping his face. Stroking his cheekbone with his thumb he just wanted to take him in as he was right now. He moved his head closer until their lips weren't far apart. His breath hiccupping softly as his heart was beating faster being close to him. If Eden had his eyes open he would search them with a soft look in his own before leaning in to connect their lips. No words were needed. All he needed was his vampyre, his fiancé, his Eden.

Romeo had always had a high sex-drive, but right now with everything going on he had a hard time feeling that. Not only because of how he perceived himself, not wanting to show off how his body had gotten, but also because his body lacked a lot of nutrients to make it function properly. But feeling Eden, feeling that he still craved him despite all of it made him hopeful. He had to break the kiss, panting softly as his cheeks were splotchy red. He probably looked like he had a fever, but he didn't really. "I want you," he muttered, kissing him again, wanting to be closer with him, but his body was also scared. Scared that Eden might see him as disgusting as he saw himself. "But I don't know if I can," he admitted, feeling so defeated and lost.
He felt his eyes well up, feeling so worthless and helpless in all of this. He could barely walk and kissing Eden made his body shake because he was straining himself. He hated it! He hated himself even more! He was such a failure and it was just a question of when Eden realized it too. "I know you still love me, I don't doubt it .. And yet my mind keeps forcing these horrid ideas into my head, telling me how you would turn away in disgust," he said, needing to voice some of these thoughts before his head exploded.

Romeo knew it wasn't rational thoughts. He knew that it was how he had conditioned himself to keep in control, but now he felt more like a prisoner in his own head. Eden was right in that he needed to get better, but the road still felt scary. However the biggest step had been taken today, hadn't it? He had admitted himself to a place that sought to help him. The question made him frown, because he had doubted Eden's attraction to him so many times. Not that he had ever felt anything waiver in the vampyre, far from it, every day it seemed as if the emotions grew stronger and better. "It's just my own self-loathing being projected," he spoke, knowing that was the logical answer. "I am disgusted by myself," he admitted, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead to Eden's. It was hard to talk about this with the man he loved. But he had also realized over the last couple of days that he needed to communicate. "And it's hard for me to accept your love when I don't feel worthy of it."