I’ll make you mine

The shark tooth necklace made Gerard look a little confused. It look like something a surfer would wear, and though he was athletically built, he was far too lanky to have any sort of balance control in or on water. "We don't need to find anything today," he told Eden, but the vampyre seemed dead set on finding something. And Gerard didn't have the heart to tell him no at this point. Instead, the nephilim walked over to a small selection of medium length necklaces - those that would hit him right bellow the collarbone - and looked at the different pendants. He smiled a little as he looked at a few different ones, but ultimately he would let Eden be the one to choose.
Truth be told, Gerard still struggled with receiving gifts, because he felt like he was already getting paid enough to buy his own stuff, but Eden was never afraid to flaunt his wealth. Maybe it was just because the vampyre was generous by nature, or maybe it was because he wanted to impress the young man. "These ones look nice," he remarked, just to help Eden get an idea of where his taste were at. It was just some simple pendants, some in the shape of circles and others in rectangles. It was clear that you could get something engraved on them; Or you could just let them be.

The shark tooth definitely didnt seem to be something that Eden liked either, but seeing Gerard's reaction made Eden step in and tell the vendor quite politely that it wasnt exactly what they were looking for. He however didnt like the notion of putting it off for another time. If they found something better in the coming days, Eden would rather have bought something now and then whatever that was better fitting later. Because again, money was the last thing he worried about. They looked at necklaces but Eden wasnt sure what he found most appealing. Sure most of them looked fine, but fine wasnt good enough. He looked at what Gerard pointed him to, nodding a few times before he made a short sigh. In the end he pointed towards a pendant that might have been a little different than what Gerard had suggested but he found it quite appealing. It was a round pendant, with one side completely flat in silver and the other a kind of gold looking medal of a sort that had been fused together to a round-ish shape but it looked rustic and handcrafted. The coin part was clearly something that had once been for tourists, but Eden thought it was a clever thing and it didnt look bad. He looked to Gerard to see what he thought, because he still wouldnt buy something that the nephilim didnt like.

"I like that one," Gerard said, touching the pendant carefully. He was so afraid of breaking something and having Eden to pay for his mistakes. There was no price tag on it, but he hoped it didn't mean that it was too expensive. For the nephilim it felt so weird to be treated with gifts, even if it was just a cheap souvenir - but perhaps it was because he knew of the struggle of not even having money for food. Of course now he had plenty to live a decent lifestyle, but he was still worried that the day would come where Eden would cut him off - even if he had a slight hope that something more might happen between the two.
Buying the necklace Gerard just stood and looked at the ground before it was time to move on. However if Eden wanted to put the jewelry on him first, he would stand still until it was secured around his neck. "You don't have to spend more money on me than you already do," he murmured softly, clearly rather humble in this matter. "I mean, this trip is more than I could've ever asked for," he confessed, reaching down to take Eden's hand once again as they walked side by side. The metal felt funny around his neck, mostly because he wasn't used to wearing jewelry, but he much more preferred this to a bracelet. Perhaps because looking at it he would be reminded of how skinny he still was. "How long until we get picked up?" he asked, thinking back to what he had said about that factory.

He was pulling a bit at straws now because he really wasnt too sure if it was something the nephilim would even like. A clear sign of relief showed on his face as a soft smile rolled over his lips and he nodded to the vendor, who named the price. It wasnt cheap but it wasnt the most expensive piece either due to the metals in it. Eden thought it was fair enough and once that was done and over, the vampyre looked to the other man. "You should wear it," he said in a sure tone, pulling it from the packaging before he placed it around Gerard's neck. He turned him around to inspect the piece on him, looking with a contemplating expression that turned a little more serious at Gerard's murmur, his eyes moving up to greet the beautiful brown ones. "I dont have to, but I want to," he argued in a soft tone, a crooked smile falling over his lips, shaking his head at the confession. How they could keep arguing about this and never come to an agreement. "If anything, I'd still rather spend my money on you than follow with the rest of peers that prefer expensive drugs and fancy parties," he concluded, giving his hand a soft squeeze before they moved on. The question made him hum as he pulled out his phone and checked the time. "It shouldnt be too long by now. I'll let them know where we are heading," he said as he called a number, supposedly the person that was coming to pick them up. The man spoke spanish and Eden had no issue with answering rather fluently, before he hung up and looked to Gerard with a soft smile. "Are you hungry?" he asked, tilting his head a little to the side.

Gerard felt himself blushing slightly, and even with the tan he had gotten, it was visible. He knew that Eden was perhaps swimming in money, he had no troubles financially, but using ones money like this also seemed a little excessive, at least from his point of view. Sure, if he had grown up rich it would've probably been different, but it didn't change how he was feeling right now. The mention of drugs and fancy parties made him wrinkle his nose, shaking his head as he wasn't exactly a fan of that either. His only vice was smoking once in a while, which he found a dilemma in it of itself.
While Eden made his phone call, Gerard simply looked around. It would turn in to a rather sunny day just by the looks of it. Somehow the sunlight had come to be more of a negative thing for him, because it meant that Eden wouldn't be as willing to go out and do something. He was however glad that he had agreed to go to the beach later. He took a deep breath in, smelling the ocean and its salty waters from the promenade. It was a scent he wouldn't just forget when he got back to rainy Churchill. The question made him frown a little, placing a hand over his stomach only to feel it rumble. Letting out a slight chuckle he nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I think I just have an easier time forgetting when you don't really eat," he confessed. It was strange, but it was true. At home Xalvador was always there, ready to remind him that he needed to eat, but here it was like he forgot his basic needs at times.
There were a fair few small cafés open at this time, so he decided to pick one for them to head in to. The hostess wanted to place them outside in the sun, but Gerard shook his head, stumbling a few phrases in Spanish that he knew. At least enough to let the hostess know that sun wasn't really an optimal spot for them, leading them to a table by the windows, but in the shadows instead. He sat down, looking at the menu, but he felt horribly lost. Everything was in Spanish, and sometimes he felt a little embarrassed to ask about things multiple times. "Do they have any toast with cheese or ... Or something?" he asked in a hushed voice, feeling the pendant of his necklace his against the menu card, startling him a bit but he just had to get used to the necklace.

He nodded, placing his order with the waiter along with a cup of coffee and a tall glass of water. He looked out at the promenade, from where they were sitting they could see quite a bit of the street, even if there were only very few people out now. However later tonight the streets would be bustling, full of life and salesmen trying to bargain with the tourists. He then felt the arm around him, being pulled slightly closer, and his heart immediately went in to a fast beat, turning his head carefully to look at the other man. He was being rather affectionate today, not that Gerard minded, but it seemed a little out of the ordinary.
The question made him widen his eyes, blinking a few times before he shook his head, signaling he wouldn't mind him stealing a kiss. But then again, who could say no to him when he looked so desperate. His eyes fell shut, leaning in to the sweet kiss, gasping softly as the kiss ended. His heart was going crazy, and he could feel himself leaning in again, this time him stealing a kiss, prolonging it by moving his lips slowly and longingly against the cold ones. He felt like a lunatic, sitting here in public, kissing the guy he was with. It was rather euphoric, like finally being allowed to do what he had always wanted to do with a partner. Most people wanted to be different, but for once Gerard just felt like he blended in, like he was unnoticeable and could do whatever he wanted. "I'm getting more hungry now," he mumbled, chuckling as he kept his eyes closed. Sometimes he was afraid to open them directly after a kiss, perhaps because he was scared of being taken out of the moment. The waiter came over, placing down the drinks ordered, and Gerard felt a little flustered, looking down and away from the waiter, but really the guy wasn't even caring what the two lovers were doing. A tourist spot like this had many different people and couples coming through, this wasn't anything new. "Coffee," he mumbled, reaching for the cup, trying to keep himself distracted, blowing on it before taking a careful sip.

Gerard still felt very conflicted about all of this. He had never gone this far with a client before, and it felt almost surreal to think the things he did. But he also couldn't deny the attraction he had to the vampyre next to him. The mention about the coffee made him hum, taking a sip. It was hot, but not so hot as to burn his tongue. It was quite a different kind of coffee than what he was used to, but it tasted good. It wasn't bitter like the cheap coffee he had lived off of, but it was definitely not as sweet as when you added sugar to a regular kind of coffee. Frankly it was hard to pinpoint, and Gerard knew very little about beans and aromas, he just knew if it tasted good. "Yeah, it's pretty good," he said, smiling a bit shyly. Why was he acting like this? He just felt so weak when Eden took control like that, like his heart couldn't keep up with what was being done. "I don't know much about coffee," he chuckled, looking down in to the dark liquid, biting his lower lip as he felt caught up in his own thoughts.
When the food arrived he smiled as he looked at the plate. Different breads and some miscellaneous toppings was a nice change of pace. He usually just ordered something like yogurt or a bowl of fruits. But if he was going to go on a tour of a factory, he thought it might be wiser to actually stock up on some calories. "I was thinking ... That I might need a nap when we get back from the factory," he said, feeling himself blush a little. He hated that he had to sleep to keep up with Eden. He had it easy, he could just skip it and be fine as ever. "I mean, if we want to go out tonight as well, I might need some rest so I don't fall asleep on the street," he chuckled, but he was also being rather serious.

Gerard was a simple guy, but what he experienced in Spain had been out of this world spectacular. He felt over the moon, like he was finally beginning to trust the vampyre more fully, and even though things hadn't escalated further, it seemed like such a nice place to be at. Eden seemed happy too, or well that was what the nephilim thought, because ever since returning home, he hadn't been able to get a hold of him.
He was starting to worry, going over things in his head, circling around the same questions. Was he starting to bore the vampyre? Had Eden hoped for more? Should he have put out or just let him do what he wanted? It was all so confusing to him. In pure panic Gerard had applied for some jobs, wanting something to fall back on, but the only place that hired anything didn't want him. He was sitting on the couch, fiddling with the pendant that the vampyre had gifted him, feeling sad as his brother entered. "Don't call him that," he mumbled flopping sideways and on to the couch cushions. "Maybe it's just pity money ... Because he feels bad for me," it was clear to see how affected he was. That trip had given him a much needed tan, bringing out freckles that he didn't even knew he had. Moping he looked up at Xalvador, his eyes sad as he just reached out for the letter. Perhaps there was a message inside?

"Like you ever trust anyone," he said, lifting an eyebrow at the hybrid, clearly being rather skeptical. He knew Xalvador had his reasons, but couldn't he just enjoy that they actually had a life now? They weren't just surviving off of scraps or each other, they were actually living - or at least it felt like it.
Opening the envelope he felt his heart beat faster as he read the note, sitting up with almost urgency as he read it over and over. It wasn't until his brother's question that he stuffed the written note back in the envelope, trying to act casual about it. "He wants to see me tonight," he just said, trying not to make a big deal of it, but it was. He hadn't seen or heard from Eden in a whole weak, and he had been worried sick that something might've happened. Maybe it was just work that had piled up from being away, which he could understand, but even when the vampyre was busy he made sure to at least send a text or maybe a picture of his office desk. He got up from the couch, placing the envelope in their secret compartment; a small tin can that they had bought just to keep loose change in, but it ended up being a good place just to keep the money that would be used for rent or other necessary items.

Of course his brother meant well in all of this, but couldn't he just trust that he was being safe? Besides Eden had never done anything remotely unpleasant, and if he did, all Gerard had to say was no, and the vampyre respected it. The question of when and where made him shrug. "Usually a car picks me up, I get a small notification before hand, and then I'm off," he explained. Maybe that was a dangerous thing to do, but at this point it had become part of his routine. Not that he was taking it for granted, it was nice not having to take public transportation or walk to their meetup. "He's a business man, something must've come up and I'm sure I'll get the explanation once I see him," and that being said, he got up from the couch, heading out to take a shower. He liked being clean for Eden, even if the vampyre didn't really care, it was just something that put Gerard in the mindset of going to see him.
He let Xalvador sulk all he wanted, he just didn't get it. As the car arrived, he yelled a quick goodbye, but he felt a small pit in his stomach. What if what his brother had said turned out to be true? He tried shaking those thoughts on the car ride over to his lavish mansion, and everything seemed to vanish from his mind as the vampyre greeted him with a kiss that felt so different. Swallowing he took a step back, a little startled to be sure, but he wasn't angry. Rather he was a bit confused. The explanation til make sense, but Gerard's heart was galloping at a million miles per hour as his body was still trying to process the kiss. He gasped a little for air, it had felt almost like getting the wind knocked out of him, but in a strangely good way. "It-it's alright," he stammered, swallowing once more as he blinked a few times. "But why didn't you write me?" he asked. The last thing he wanted to do was come off needy, but they had an agreement, right? They promised to let each other know if the other part would be busy or occupied with other stuff.

He let him step away, removing his hand from his face as he looked at him. It wasnt that surprising that the nephilim reacted the way he did, it was what Eden liked the most about him. But he had expected him to be angry, at least some kind of angry that they hadnt spoken after all that time. The question made him sigh because he wasnt sure how he could answer. How could he say it without telling about his sister? "I didnt have the time to. But I really wanted to. I've been thinking about you since the little getaway," he said, which was a sort of truth, it just wasnt the whole truth. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'd rather not talk about this week, if you dont mind?" he clarified, moving a little closer as he looked into those brown beautiful eyes of his. "Unless it's about how you've missed me endlessly," he joked in a soft chuckle, carefully moving his hand up to touch the collar of Gerard's shirt in a gentle manner.

He had been rather miserable this week, perhaps because he had worried that the trip was a test. A test to see if anything more could happen, and if Gerard hadn't passed that test, it would be it. He looked down as Eden spoke, mostly because he didn't feel like his heart could handle looking and listening to him at the same time. He still felt so young, there was still so much he wanted to see in the world, and Eden had been a gateway to that reality. But not even getting a message after getting back had hurt him. It was stupid, he wasn't supposed to catch feelings for the vampyre, he was supposed to just do his job and get paid. But how could he not react when what this was growing in to was more than just a business deal?
Eden's hand moved and adjusted his collar, and it was out of pure instinct that Gerard grabbed his hand, just holding it in place as he hadn't decided what to do yet. He felt his eyes water, frowning as he looked down. He wasn't supposed to cry, he was supposed to just be happy and give Eden what he was paying him for, but it seemed like every time he got an envelope, it got harder to accept. "You don't have to pretend with me ... If you've found another person to spend time with it's fine," he said, blinking away his tears. Why was it hurting so much? Of course it made sense that Eden could do what he wanted, he had plenty of money, and what was stopping him from hiring more people to entertain himself with? However Gerard couldn't shake the feeling of his heart cracking, a small tremble running down his back as he shook his head. "I just - I just don't want you to lie, alright, I don't care about your reasons, I just want you to be honest with me like I'm honest with you," finally moving his eyes back to look at the green blue that he had come to love so much. That trip to Spain had ignited something within him, and he had hoped that if things carried on as they did, he might be ready to take it a step further. However he wasn't sire how to cope if Eden had someone else he was hiding from him.

His eyes moved up to the nephilim's as his hand was grabbed, his expression turning a little more serious as the other man looked down. Eden just waited patiently as he could tell that there was something on Gerard's mind that he wanted out. The notion that he had someone else made him frown a little like he couldnt really understand at first. He didnt consider his sister as someone else, because that required that the both of them held the same worth. He didnt adore Gerard the way he adored her, but he sure didnt look at any other men the way he looked at the seraph. "Why would I lie? I've got no incentive to lie to you." he said without hesitation as he shifted between the other man's eyes. He could easily see how Gerard had been trying to hide his tears. He clicked his teeth and pulled him in, wrapping his arms around him in a close embrace, just holding him close to him. "I dont need someone else when I have you," he mumbled into the soft curls. But he could understand the worry and anxiety that revolved around their deal and how they werent just a couple. It was just easier for Eden to hide it from his sister this way, but he couldnt tell him that. "Are you falling in love with me?" he asked softly, trying to not make it seem like it was something bad, more like he was genuinely curious.

Frankly he had expected that Eden got angry, maybe yell at him for being stupid or that he was being silly about it all. But being pulled in to his embrace, the whispers that he spoke, he just felt so ... Safe. It was a lot of emotions to feel at once, but he had gotten better at handling them at this point. Not that it was a lot better, because as he wrapped his arms around Eden, it just opened the floodgates. Tears running down his cheeks as he buried his face in the vampyre's chest, mumbling soft apologies for ruining his shirt. Then the question came, the one that had been on his own mind so lately.
Sniffling a bit he pulled away from the hug, rather unlike him as he always seemed to crave comfort at being close. "I-I don't know," he mumbled, moving a sleeve covered hand up to remove his tears. This was embarrassing. He felt like a kid again, crying about something that he ultimately had no control over. On that part Xalvador was right, it was a dog eat dog world, but Gerard didn't want to view it like that. In Eden he had found some escape from reality, he had found a safe haven where he didn't have to hide who he was. "I don't think I've ever been in love, and I think I'm scared that I'll never be; But I just feel this connection, and I ... I just really want to be with you," he finally admitted, feeling like he was falling over his words to get it out. Eden had showed him not to care what other people thought, he had showed him that being out and about it was alright to be who he was. He looked down, sniffling a bit more as he shook his head. "And I feel conflicted ... Because I know I'm not your boyfriend, I know I never could be, but every week that envelope is such a harsh reminder of that."

Gerard looked even more conflicted at the serious question because what was he supposed to answer? He felt like a miserable brat that just kept wanting more, but how could this relationship ever be equal if Eden was paying for it all? He just looked down, not wanting to answer because it felt like the vampyre was just trying to string him along. He could understand it, he could accept that he might be scared that he would split this thing up, but the worst part about all of this was that the nephilim didn't want it to end.
He looked back up as the vampyre spoke of what he wanted. Did that confidence come with age, because Gerard felt like he would never be able to say so strong words to anyone. And couldn't things change drastically within a month? A year? Speaking about money always made him uncomfortable, and he couldn't see why Eden would insist on paying him even if they where to become a couple. A couple! He should've slapped himself just for thinking that. The admittance made a few more tears escape as he shook his head a little. Why was it so hard for him to accept others like this? He couldn't see himself as their equal, he could never see that he could ever be interesting for a vampyre like him. "I'm just a stupid eighteen year old kid with nothing going for me; I have no accomplishments to my name, I'm not talented in any way; All I am really good at is standing around and be silent," he whimpered, gods he sounded so pathetic. Even if Eden would continue to insist it wouldn't change how his mind worked. Inside his brain, it was like every compliment got torn in to pieces, ripped apart and explained away with logic or his own perception.
"I'm scared," he whispered, his eyes still wet and his frown giving him a slight headache. "I just ... I just don't want to be someone disposable to you," he said. That was as far as he could explain his emotions. He just didn't want to be without Eden, he simply wanted to be someone of importance, someone that meant something, if anything. And even if the vampyre had just declared his love, it was like it hadn't sunken in yet.

He just had a lot of feelings about this whole ordeal, and it was starting to dawn on him how little he knew about the world. How things could be complex and that not everything could be put in to separate boxes of definition. He just let Eden hold him, trying his best to calm down and just taking in his scent. He felt so weak, like he had no control over himself, and it made him feel miserable.
When he had calmed down a bit, he just went quiet, almost so quiet that you could hear the gears turning in his head, trying to process everything. His mind was busy going over and over in his head about what to do or say, but as he saw the homemade meal he blinked a few times. He hadn't even taken a bite yet as he looked at the vampyre in shock. "You are in love with me?" he just blurted out, but it was mostly in a hushed voice. He looked at him in disbelief, because why hadn't he heard it the first time around? Why hadn't he realized what he had said? His eyes watered as he looked down at the plate. Was he really going to start crying again? Yup, and there went the tears. Covering his eyes he just whimpered softly, sobbing in to his palms as he felt so out of it. It was clear his mind wasn't in the best state, he felt like everything right now was either the best dream or the cruelest nightmare.
He couldn't even look out of his eyes because of the tears, just looking at the plate of food, but he couldn't even muster up the courage to eat right now. He just felt so weird about it all, so torn and conflicted, because what did that even mean? How could he be real in his words? Gerard had never felt love, not to the extent that he would come to learn later in life, but what they had was good. What he felt when he was around Eden was a sense of safety, a sense of having found a place he could belong. So why was his mind just trying to justify that Eden's words were not real?