To make things worse [cw]

Her words made him smile a bit because it just felt like a natural response from her. He felt her skin and he touched it carefully as she spoke. He could feel how she was telling the truth and it made him look at her. “I cant be happy without you.” He objected, grabbing onto her skin, just slightly to emphasize his own words. She wanted to not talk further but he felt like they couldnt just leave it at that. “You dont give a crap about all that but what if I become like my father? What if I’m no fucking better than he is?” He asked, looking at her rather seriously. He moved, as to push her against the sink like he was somehow keeping her in place so they had to talk about it. “Would you still love me then? If I hurt our kid and didnt have a second thought.”

He just let her take her time with answering, though he still kept his grip on her. Her response made him nod before he looked down, smiling a little as she made it sound like a promise. “Good.” He said, wrapping his arms around her and keeping her close. “I dont want to become like him.” He whispered, pressing her closer like he was scared.

She held him and he loved that so much. Feeling her embrace, making him feel like he was protected which was odd when he was a rather tall and big guy. He hummed at her question, not knowing why but it seemed that she did. And when she said it he smiled and closed his eyes, breathing in her scent. “Maybe it would be better if I was a Rojas man then. Your father seemed to be a good dad.” He mumbled, though now the sleepy drunk was kicking in and he spoke complete nonesense. Well it wasnt nonesense to him and probably not her but it was definitely not something sober Kurtis would say.

“No I’m fine here.” He protested in a sleepy voice, just holding onto her before eventually giving in and following her up into her bedroom. He let her undress him and laid down on the bed, moving onto his side once she joined him. He was already asleep when she whispered, wrapping his arm a little closer around her. It was also then that she would be able to see a fine assortment of small scars in his side right at the bottom of his ribs. They would normally have faded and been long gone, which only meant that they had been made quite recent.

He slept quite soundly for the most part, luckily it was easier when he held Zaira near. He was woken up by a storm of kisses and her whisper made him groan. “She must hate me for making you so sad..” he mumbled tiredly, lifting his hand to cup her face before he opened his eyes. “Did you sleep?” He asked, running his thumb over her cheekbone rather gently. He felt quite exhausted from both the flight going home and then going to a party and ending up here.

“She and I can agree on that.” He said, though he didnt find it funny. He was actually quite serious if anything. He nodded as she confessed to not having slept, her explanation making him sigh. “I wouldnt just have left you. Not now when I’m here, knowing what I know.” He said, shifting between her eyes. She touched his chest and asked about the scars. He eyed them. “They helped me sleep on sleepless nights, somehow. It just made me feel less like I only hurt on the inside with nothing to change it, I guess.” He said, looking back at her. He knew she didnt like it when he hurt himself and under normal circumstances he never would have.

He felt her push him back and looked up as she crawled on top of him. She said she wouldnt forgive him which made him frown but at the same time he didnt think she would forgive anyone that hurt him, himself included. He returned the kiss, touching her lower back as she whispered against his lips. He felt his eyes sting underneath his eyelids, gritting his teeth as he tried not to whimper. He wasnt a crybaby but it was such a sore topic. “I want to…” he whispered through gritted teeth. “I dont want to be without you.”

He felt a couple of tears run down his cheeks as she spoke but he felt the same way. He knew she was the only thing that had made him feel what happiness could be like. He kissed her back, placing his hands on her hips, just to run them up and wrap around her. “Okay. But… if my dad hurts you in any way. I’ll fucking kill him.”

He felt her grind against him but he wasnt sure if she was doing that on purpose or simply adjusting herself. He was dense after all. “Me too.” He whispered in between their kisses, running his hand up under her shirt to feel the skin on her back. “It wont really be the same when it’s not with you. I was looking forward to that plan.” He said, though not living with his father or mother was something that he definitely looked forward to.

Her whine made him finally realize what she had been trying to do, though his hand had told him. He had just been quite far up his own head. “Okay, I’m sorry.” He mumbled, turning them around as he started kissing her tenderly. His hand that wasnt around her moved down and pulled her shirt up to expose her skin. “You have always been so fucking amazingly soft to touch, why is that?” He mumbled against her lips, his hand moving up along her ribs but not all the way up to her breast.

She pulled him up and he followed, kissing her lips, trying not to be too eager though it was hard the way things were heating up between them. He could never get tired of feeling how she could pull at him just to have him closer. "Okay." he said without a doubt, shifting between her eyes before he connected their lips again, his body grinding himself a little against her all by instinct. "Fuck me, keep talking about the apartment we'll have."